F1RMGP 2015: The Fifth (season) and the Fury

[dinizintheoven]

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I'll bet a lot of money that you're not.

Also...

I wouldn't dare pick out anyone as a favourite now, for either title, though I do think Tommy Rustad is going to be a severe handicap for Viking Racing.

If that turned out to be the case, it'd be punishment for Viking's indecision as to who to get in to replace Jan Magnussen - at least once it became clear that the Dane's team-mate was going to be Marko Asmer, who they'd had designs on. Even so, that'd have been a left-field choice - the team insists on running Nordic drivers (or at least "from cold countries in the North"), hence Tommy and a couple of other drivers who initially auditioned for the team before the 2012 season (i.e. Robert Dahlgren and Rickard Rydell) were called back, as was Richard Göransson - but all the Swedes were too busy with the Scandinavian Touring Car Championship. Roger Moën was considered, as were Alx Danielsson, Michel Nykjær, Kasper Andersen, Sebastian Hohenthal and Thed Björk. Then their thoughts turned to Jens Hellström, another former STCC driver who had also indulged in a bit of snowmobile racing - bit it was thought he was a bit too similar to the number one driver (for obvious reasons), though his name would have looked great on the timesheets. The search was widened to "Nordic but non-Scandinavian lands", i.e. Finland and Estonia - so Mika Mäki, Tõnis Kasemets, Henri Karjalainen, Markus Niemelä and Atte Mustonen were all under consideration. Germans and Austrians were also considered, such as Timo Glock (who'd been in the Bathurst Enduro), Michael Ammermüller (who then signed for ATS Rial) and René Binder (a bit too young for this series, mind...), a Belgian - Vincent Radermecker - and even Robert Wickens, who'd flown in from Canada and had a brief test at Rudskogen for his efforts. Finally, there was always the option of Stefan Johansson coming back from "upstairs" to drive the car himself. Eventually, weighing up the options, all the names were whittled down to three - Tommy Rustad, Kasper Andersen and Sebastian Hohenthal. Two of those were rather rusty having not raced for a while but knew what they were doing, while the Norwegian was still driving in the Scandinavian Touring Car Championship - and had won it twice, driving for Polestar. And thus the plan was hatched. Give Tommy the dreaded Number Two for a year, with no pressure beyond scoring enough points to challenge for the Willi Kauhsen Cup, and create a new team around the other two candidates... with all those Polestar connections.

Pål Varhaug and Nicholas Kiesa didn't get a call from the Viking management, notably...

[DemocalypseNow]

Esteban Tuero is on thin thin ice now. If he can't lap consistently within one second of Bertraggia during the season he's out. End of. Even Hurni would be faster than this!

[AJ 37]

I feel this will be a very harsh fight again, this season. Anyway, the test session is not finished, but there are results who made me raise an eyebrow with some teams really low and some pilots and teams much higher than anticipated ( Rustad, Polestar, McCarthy...)

I'll have to see how many guys goes from prequalification to qualifications, I don't remember but it's not that much if my memories are right but one thing sure the prequalifications will be brutal this year.

[dinizintheoven]

I'll have to see how many guys goes from prequalification to qualifications, I don't remember but it's not that much if my memories are right but one thing sure the prequalifications will be brutal this year.

The top eight in the pre-qualification session go through to the qualification session on the Friday. Some of the times which have been ninth of the pre-qualifying cars, and which would have missed out on the grid, were good enough for 18th-20th or so, whereas other drivers who don't have to pre-qualify - e.g. the Simteks, AGSs and Alex Yoong - have been posting some shockers.

But those are the rules, and they have to be there to avoid total chaos.

[AJ 37]

The top eight in the pre-qualification session go through to the qualification session on the Friday. Some of the times which have been ninth of the pre-qualifying cars, and which would have missed out on the grid, were good enough for 18th-20th or so, whereas other drivers who don't have to pre-qualify - e.g. the Simteks, AGSs and Alex Yoong - have been posting some shockers.

But those are the rules, and they have to be there to avoid total chaos.

I have verified myself but thanks for answering.

Concerning the performances of the new "prequalified" cars, I thought that top eight was really too few to go through but while everybody knows performance in the series can be extremely erratic, I 've noted something too regular : in each session so far, for 26 qualifications, we have ten "pre-qualified", not always the same guys, but still ten.

the PQ will be really hard, this year... ( well not for all, there are two places already reserved by Ice One, the idea of them missing the grid is on the same realm of possibility than England losing to Liechtenstein in football...)

[dinizintheoven]

Concerning the performances of the new "prequalified" cars, I thought that top eight was really too few to go through but while everybody knows performance in the series can be extremely erratic, I 've noted something too regular : in each session so far, for 26 qualifications, we have ten "pre-qualified", not always the same guys, but still ten.

Here's how it works: the top ten teams do not need to pre-qualify, hence there are 20 cars on the grid anyway. GP2 will only handle 14 teams, hence a maximum of 28 cars - which means eight must go through from the pre-qualifying session. That pre-qualifying is contested by 22 cars and 14 of them will miss out, well, you said it yourself:

the PQ will be really hard, this year...

...and some reasonably respectable times posted by the "back eleven" will actually not be good enough to make the Thursday afternoon cut.

( well not for all, there are two places already reserved by Ice One, the idea of them missing the grid is on the same realm of possibility than England losing to Liechtenstein in football...)

Careful now! Mysterious failures do happen, and I've not forgotten the time England played Liechtenstein quite recently. They won, yes, but it was... 2-0. That's all. Winning against Liechtenstein by only two goals. Rejectful or what? Even Wales could have put more than two past them.

[DemocalypseNow]

( well not for all, there are two places already reserved by Ice One, the idea of them missing the grid is on the same realm of possibility than England losing to Liechtenstein in football...)

Careful now! Mysterious failures do happen, and I've not forgotten the time England played Liechtenstein quite recently. They won, yes, but it was... 2-0. That's all. Winning against Liechtenstein by only two goals. Rejectful or what? Even Wales could have put more than two past them.

I still haven't forgotten the shame of this night. Was pulling hair out for 50 minutes...

[dinizintheoven]

I still haven't forgotten the shame of this night. Was pulling hair out for 50 minutes...

At least half the game had gone before Liechtenstein scored there. You want awful? I'll show you awful, and I was watching on the night and can still remember John Motson's reaction. It was an ignominious end for Graham "Turnip" Taylor and all.

Do I not like that!

[tristan1117]

I love the Hispania and the AGS liveries. The Bankia sponsorship garnered a good laugh.

[takagi_for_the_win]

At least half the game had gone before Liechtenstein scored there. You want awful? I'll show you awful, and I was watching on the night and can still remember John Motson's reaction. It was an ignominious end for Graham "Turnip" Taylor and all.

Do I not like that!

At least we scored 7 times without reply after that and anyway, San Marino are a quality team!

Back to this, I really hope Einarsson wins again this season, but I think Leyton House will win the constructors...

[dinizintheoven]

I love the Hispania and the AGS liveries. The Bankia sponsorship garnered a good laugh.

As will the utterly rejectful return of AGS into the arms of Bouygues after this...

[dinizintheoven]

F1RMGP 2015 pre-season test session 3
Imola, Italy - Saturday, 14 March 2015

Morning

Code: Select all

1 –    1  Þ. Einarsson       Viking         1'27.689
2 –    8  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    1'27.881
3 –    7  S. Nakano          Super Aguri    1'28.356
4 –    9  C. Dagnall         F1RM           1'28.594
5 –    23 E. Bertaggia       Minardi        1'28.944
6 –    2  T. Rustad          Viking         1'28.982
7 –    42 S. Hohenthal       Polestar       1'29.053
8 –    15 H. Noda            Leyton House   1'29.221
9 –    17 A. Montermini      Pacific        1'29.410
10 –   36 V. Sospiri         Arrows         1'29.458

Code: Select all

11 –   13 J. Magnussen       Ice One        1'29.530
12 –   12 A. Sutil           Forti          1'29.655
13 –   11 P. Chaves          Forti          1'29.960
14 –   14 M. Asmer           Ice One        1'30.034
15 –   20 M. Ammermüller     ATS Rial       1'30.079
16 –   28 L. Badoer          SAAC           1'30.081
17 –   31 P. McCarthy        Stefan         1'30.198
18 –   35 V. Liuzzi          Arrows         1'30.239
19 –   10 E. van de Poele    F1RM           1'30.311
20 –   19 J. Winkelhock      ATS Rial       1'30.516

Code: Select all

21 –   41 K. Andersen        Polestar       1'30.544
22 –   24 E. Tuero           Minardi        1'30.675
23 –   39 E. Salazar         FIRST          1'30.790
24 –   30 D. Schiattarella   Simtek         1'30.831
25 –   3  P. Alliot          AGS            1'30.869
26 –   16 F. Barbazza        Leyton House   1'31.092
27 –   27 G. Tarquini        SAAC           1'31.138
28 –   5  M. Apicella        Dome           1'31.371
29 –   4  O. Beretta         AGS            1'31.411
30 –   26 C. Bouchut         SPAM           1'31.535

Code: Select all

31 –   33 G. Foitek          Spyker         1'31.887
32 –   25 E. Collard         SPAM           1'32.001
33 –   22 N. Fontana         Hispania       1'32.040
34 –   18 J-D. Délétraz      Pacific        1'32.079
35 –   34 K. Chandhok        Spyker         1'32.710
36 –   37 C. Nissany         Shekel         1'33.025
37 –   6  A. Yoong           Dome           1'33.255
38 –   29 P. Belmondo        Simtek         1'33.332
39 –   21 S. Yamamoto        Hispania       1'33.497
40 –   38 A. Shankar         Shekel         1'34.161
41 –   32 M. Pavlovic        Stefan         1'34.431
42 –   40 J. Camathias       FIRST          1'34.555

Afternoon

Code: Select all

1 –    13 J. Magnussen       Ice One        1'27.650
2 –    1  Þ. Einarsson       Viking         1'27.728
3 –    15 H. Noda            Leyton House   1'28.077
4 –    7  S. Nakano          Super Aguri    1'28.242
5 –    16 F. Barbazza        Leyton House   1'28.473
6 –    8  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    1'28.549
7 –    14 M. Asmer           Ice One        1'28.558
8 –    42 S. Hohenthal       Polestar       1'29.106
9 –    10 E. van de Poele    F1RM           1'29.107
10 –   28 L. Badoer          SAAC           1'29.495

Code: Select all

11 –   27 G. Tarquini        SAAC           1'29.525
12 –   9  C. Dagnall         F1RM           1'29.535
13 –   36 V. Sospiri         Arrows         1'29.616
14 –   23 E. Bertaggia       Minardi        1'29.687
15 –   3  P. Alliot          AGS            1'29.730
16 –   12 A. Sutil           Forti          1'30.001
17 –   35 V. Liuzzi          Arrows         1'30.010
18 –   2  T. Rustad          Viking         1'30.014
19 –   31 P. McCarthy        Stefan         1'30.085
20 –   18 J-D. Délétraz      Pacific        1'30.152

Code: Select all

21 –   34 K. Chandhok        Spyker         1'30.245
22 –   22 N. Fontana         Hispania       1'30.433
23 –   20 M. Ammermüller     ATS Rial       1'30.556
24 –   17 A. Montermini      Pacific        1'30.710
25 –   24 E. Tuero           Minardi        1'30.753
26 –   41 K. Andersen        Polestar       1'30.816
27 –   11 P. Chaves          Forti          1'31.020
28 –   33 G. Foitek          Spyker         1'31.064
29 –   21 S. Yamamoto        Hispania       1'31.180
30 –   26 C. Bouchut         SPAM           1'31.257

Code: Select all

31 –   39 E. Salazar         FIRST          1'31.372
32 –   30 D. Schiattarella   Simtek         1'32.002
33 –   29 P. Belmondo        Simtek         1'32.078
34 –   25 E. Collard         SPAM           1'32.129
35 –   19 J. Winkelhock      ATS Rial       1'32.363
36 –   6  A. Yoong           Dome           1'32.472
37 –   40 J. Camathias       FIRST          1'32.666
38 –   37 C. Nissany         Shekel         1'33.103
39 –   5  M. Apicella        Dome           1'34.225
40 –   32 M. Pavlovic        Stefan         1'34.393
41 –   4  O. Beretta         AGS            1'34.673
42 –   38 A. Shankar         Shekel         1'37.372

Testing is complete. Day three brought joy to Jan Magnussen in the afternoon – finally topping the timesheets, and also recording the fastest time over the entire test. Enrico Bertaggia was again determined to prove he was grabbing the Lancia opportunity with both hands, monstering even the SAAC A-team in the morning (who may have been sandbagging). Dome, AGS and Simtek are all now screaming with fear at being shown up by the smaller teams, Forti are none too happy either, and Sebastian Hohenthal is already submitting his CV for a Viking drive in 2016. There are more impressive performances from newboys Arrows, JDD finally set a half-decent time in the afternoon, as did Karun Chandhok, and I now reckon there are five drivers who will not make it past the first hurdle at any stage during the season.

Now let's have a look at the overall picture...

[dinizintheoven]

Ordered by fastest time

Code: Select all

1 –  * 13 J. Magnussen       Ice One        1'27.650
2 –    1  Þ. Einarsson       Viking         1'27.689
3 –    8  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    1'27.697
4 –    15 H. Noda            Leyton House   1'28.077
5 –    16 F. Barbazza        Leyton House   1'28.162
6 –    7  S. Nakano          Super Aguri    1'28.242
7 –    9  C. Dagnall         F1RM           1'28.430
8 –    27 G. Tarquini        SAAC           1'28.475
9 –  * 14 M. Asmer           Ice One        1'28.558
10 – * 23 E. Bertaggia       Minardi        1'28.669

Code: Select all

11 –   2  T. Rustad          Viking         1'28.707
12 –   28 L. Badoer          SAAC           1'28.787
13 – * 42 S. Hohenthal       Polestar       1'29.053
14 –   10 E. van de Poele    F1RM           1'29.107
15 – * 41 K. Andersen        Polestar       1'29.215
16 – * 17 A. Montermini      Pacific        1'29.410
17 –   3  P. Alliot          AGS            1'29.414
18 – * 36 V. Sospiri         Arrows         1'29.458
19 –   5  M. Apicella        Dome           1'29.537
20 –   12 A. Sutil           Forti          1'29.606

Code: Select all

21 – * 35 V. Liuzzi          Arrows         1'29.731
22 – * 31 P. McCarthy        Stefan         1'29.842
23 – * 25 E. Collard         SPAM           1'29.893
24 –   11 P. Chaves          Forti          1'29.960
25 –   20 M. Ammermüller     ATS Rial       1'29.999
26 – * 18 J-D. Délétraz      Pacific        1'30.152
27 –   4  O. Beretta         AGS            1'30.167
28 – * 26 C. Bouchut         SPAM           1'30.210
29 – * 34 K. Chandhok        Spyker         1'30.245
30 – * 22 N. Fontana         Hispania       1'30.319

Code: Select all

31 –   19 J. Winkelhock      ATS Rial       1'30.429
32 – * 39 E. Salazar         FIRST          1'30.430
33 –   29 P. Belmondo        Simtek         1'30.511
34 –   30 D. Schiattarella   Simtek         1'30.512
35 – * 24 E. Tuero           Minardi        1'30.675
36 –   6  A. Yoong           Dome           1'30.781
37 – * 33 G. Foitek          Spyker         1'31.064
38 – * 21 S. Yamamoto        Hispania       1'31.180
39 – * 32 M. Pavlovic        Stefan         1'32.011
40 – * 40 J. Camathias       FIRST          1'32.393
41 – * 37 C. Nissany         Shekel         1'32.904
42 – * 38 A. Shankar         Shekel         1'34.036

Ordering by fastest time might be a better indication of what to expect in qualifying – can a driver absolutely max out one lap and get one of those all-important grid slots? The drivers who have to pre-qualify are marked with a star, so this might also serve as a guide as to who's more likely to make the cut. On this evidence, the two Ice Ones should make it every time, and DNPQs will be rare for Enrico Bertaggia, with Sebastian Hohenthal making it through the cut more often than Kasper Andersen. Simtek, Dome ATS Rial and AGS don't have to pre-qualify but might find a few DNQs appear by their scoresheets where pre-qualifying teams beat them. Forti might even be unlucky once or twice.


Ordered by average time

Code: Select all

1 –    8  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    1'28.002
2 –    1  Þ. Einarsson       Viking         1'28.135
3 –    15 H. Noda            Leyton House   1'28.573
4 –  * 13 J. Magnussen       Ice One        1'28.589
5 –    7  S. Nakano          Super Aguri    1'28.813
6 –    9  C. Dagnall         F1RM           1'29.094
7 –    16 F. Barbazza        Leyton House   1'29.204
8 –    27 G. Tarquini        SAAC           1'29.303
9 –    28 L. Badoer          SAAC           1'29.250
10 –   2  T. Rustad          Viking         1'29.389

Code: Select all

11 – * 23 E. Bertaggia       Minardi        1'29.439
12 – * 14 M. Asmer           Ice One        1'29.487
13 – * 42 S. Hohenthal       Polestar       1'29.753
14 –   12 A. Sutil           Forti          1'29.892
15 – * 36 V. Sospiri         Arrows         1'29.913
16 –   10 E. van de Poele    F1RM           1'30.030
17 –   11 P. Chaves          Forti          1'30.256
18 – * 41 K. Andersen        Polestar       1'30.392
19 – * 31 P. McCarthy        Stefan         1'30.395
20 – * 17 A. Montermini      Pacific        1'30.427

Code: Select all

21 – * 35 V. Liuzzi          Arrows         1'30.432
22 –   20 M. Ammermüller     ATS Rial       1'30.859
23 – * 26 C. Bouchut         SPAM           1'30.914
24 –   30 D. Schiattarella   Simtek         1'30.959
25 – * 39 E. Salazar         FIRST          1'31.174
26 –   5  M. Apicella        Dome           1'31.211
27 – * 34 K. Chandhok        Spyker         1'31.244
28 –   3  P. Alliot          AGS            1'31.284
29 – * 22 N. Fontana         Hispania       1'31.285
30 –   29 P. Belmondo        Simtek         1'31.383

Code: Select all

31 – * 25 E. Collard         SPAM           1'31.391
32 – * 18 J-D. Délétraz      Pacific        1'31.794
33 – * 24 E. Tuero           Minardi        1'31.795
34 –   19 J. Winkelhock      ATS Rial       1'31.806
35 –   4  O. Beretta         AGS            1'31.854
36 – * 33 G. Foitek          Spyker         1'31.928
37 – * 21 S. Yamamoto        Hispania       1'31.947
38 –   6  A. Yoong           Dome           1'32.144
39 – * 40 J. Camathias       FIRST          1'33.577
40 – * 37 C. Nissany         Shekel         1'33.983
41 – * 32 M. Pavlovic        Stefan         1'34.004
42 – * 38 A. Shankar         Shekel         1'35.745

Ordering by average time is a more likely marker of consistency, and hence race pace. Obviously it can't predict any retirements, but I'd wager any of the top nine drivers could be title contenders, bearing in mind Tommy Rustad might well be holding back deliberately. Enrico Bertaggia will almost certainly get Minardi on the scoresheet more than once for the first time since the 2012 season, and maybe even out of prequalifying at the first time of asking (more about that in a minute). Of the lower-ranked teams, Arrows and Polestar also show some promise – should they escape pre-qualifying on a regular basis they should be beating the likes of AGS, Simtek, Dome and ATS Rial with little difficulty, maybe even Forti as well – which is no mean feat for startup teams. Some of those who will be soundly beaten may find themselves rather more fraught on a Thursday afternoon. Even smaller teams such as SPAM, Stefan and Spyker, who start the season with this hurdle intact, may struggle to get out regularly and this will impact their fortunes greatly. And, as I've said, I'll wager that there are five drivers who will never be seen in an official qualifying session at all – with the possible exception of the Grand Reversal.



Pre-qualifying

The season is divided into halves by the Grand Reversal and the mid-season break, but will be divided into thirds by the pre-qualifying shuffles. After round six at Silverstone, the top ten teams in the table will be the ones not required to pre-qualify between Belgium and Hungary, with those eleventh and below condemned to the Thursday afternoon stomach-churner. Then, only the results of these six races will count towards the second shuffle which will happen after Hungary, and hence a mid-season slump, even from a team right at the top, could be disastrous.

There are good reasons for this: as it stands, Ice One will most likely fill the top two pre-qualifying slots anyway, Enrico Bertaggia will most likely get the third, and one of the Polestars will most likely also make it. This leaves 18 drivers scrapping for four places in qualifying. It looks as if AGS, Dome, ATS Rial and Simtel are all significantly slower this season than they were at the end of last year, and would present a much lower hurdle to, say, SPAM, Spyker and Stefan than Ice One and the Lancia-powered Minardi do, hence there should be more of a mix of teams in the race as the season progresses.

[pasta_maldonado]

How mNy drivers start each race?

[SuperAguri]

Only in this series, mind... remember what SuperAguri was like as a team boss in the first WEC?.

I was a very fair team boss, giving drivers at least a quarter of a season to show their worth. I only had four drivers, ironically I signed the driver that scored the most points and the driver that was replaced by said driver...

Fabrizio Barbazza told to get haircut

After a serious of poor laptimes, we understand that Fabrizio Barbazza has been ordered by Akira Akagi to have his curly locks cut to help reduce weight and increase laptimes. For too many sessions he was way off the pace of his team mate Hideki Noda and there are concerns that Barbazza will struggle for points let alone score wins.

Suzuki add 2bhp to engine
Despite having the most powerful engine in the pitlane, Suzuki engineers have increased engine performance by a massive 2 bhp to help them challenge for the championship an engineer said "Is it morning yet? I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Please let me out.". The new engine will be rolled out by the first European race of the season.

Yuji Ide - I can win this year.
Yuji Ide was very happy after dominating the pre season testing and talked exclusively to Autosport, he said "The car has never felt better, as long as the car can get to the end of a race then I will be champion and end the dominance of the Viking team who crushed the F1 Rejects team.", when asked about his alleged number two status, he laughed and said, "Number 8 is a very lucky number in Japan and I contractly choose it for luck, Shinji Nakano is definately number two as the team is built around me.", he also had a message for his fans, "Thank you for all your support, I hope that I can step up and grab the championship with both hands."

Alex Yoong given bollocking
After posting some poor times in the pre season testing, Yoong was given an ultimatum to improve or head back to the tailend of the field and try prequalifing in the lowend cars. Yoong probably has a few races to prove himself in a decent car, else a young whippersnapper will take his place.

[dinizintheoven]

I was a very fair team boss, giving drivers at least a quarter of a season to show their worth. I only had four drivers, ironically I signed the driver that scored the most points and the driver that was replaced by said driver...

You say "only" four - most teams only had two, including all of the Main Series teams in four seasons...

Yuji Ide - I can win this year.
Yuji Ide was very happy after dominating the pre season testing and talked exclusively to Autosport, he said "The car has never felt better, as long as the car can get to the end of a race then I will be champion and end the dominance of the Viking team who crushed the F1 Rejects team.", when asked about his alleged number two status, he laughed and said, "Number 8 is a very lucky number in Japan and I contractly choose it for luck, Shinji Nakano is definately number two as the team is built around me.", he also had a message for his fans, "Thank you for all your support, I hope that I can step up and grab the championship with both hands."

So, you noticed? However, I don't think Yuji believes in lucky numbers, given that he drove car 4 for the 2011-13 seasons, even when the cars switched to 4/5 for 2013 due to the retiring champion from the season before - and that's a very unlucky number way out East.

[FMecha]

...with their [Leyton House's/Suzuki's] overly powerful engine, they should expect their engine to become the most explosive on the grid too. Yes, I said that quite literally - Suzuki's apparent ignorance of reliability should mean that their engine would turn into a "hand generade" for the Leyton House drivers...

Let the media war begin, now!

[SuperAguri]

Suzuki in fits of laughter at media article

Suzuki engineers had a laughing fit that stop them working for a whole afternoon, it was in responce to an article printed in a motorsport magazine that suggested that "Suzuki's apparent ignorance of reliability should mean that their engine would turn into a "hand generade" for the Leyton House drivers...", however one engineer said "Hahahaha, no please stop it, hahahahaha, it hurts, hahahah, [tears start to fall], it is a, hahahaha, industrial espionage trick, hahahaha, to kill us, hahahaha. We were racing last year, and we had, hahahahah, 8 retirements last seasons, hahahah, only three, hehehehe, were from engines, hehehehehehe, 4 less then Super, hahahaha, Aguri and, hohohohoho, 2 more then, hahahaha, Viking, hahahaha, is that a box, hahahaha, of, hahaha, meat pies, hahahaha, near the, hahahahahah, door? hahahahahahahhahehehehehehehohohohohohohehehehehehohohohohohahahaha....".

Yuji Ide not fourth coming
In the second part of our Yuji Ide interview we ask him some tough questions, we asked him if 8 was a lucky number, why did he drive for three seasons with the number 4? "Well I believed in Karma, if I took the unlucky number then my team mate would have some luck and that I would get some luck later on in life, and I indeed took two wins, so something must be right with the world.", we also asked about meat pies, but as soon as he said this, he flicked his wrist and said that the interview was over and two burly bouncers threw us out on our arses. Still we wish him luck.

[dinizintheoven]

Yuji Ide not fourth coming
In the second part of our Yuji Ide interview we ask him some tough questions, we asked him if 8 was a lucky number, why did he drive for three seasons with the number 4? "Well I believed in Karma, if I took the unlucky number then my team mate would have some luck and that I would get some luck later on in life, and I indeed took two wins, so something must be right with the world.", we also asked about meat pies, but as soon as he said this, he flicked his wrist and said that the interview was over and two burly bouncers threw us out on our arses. Still we wish him luck.

Remind yourself who Yuji Ide's team-mate was in 2011 and what happened to him...

[dinizintheoven]

So! The season is right on the edge of kicking off, but before we can get to the first round proper, we must work out the Apertura seedings for this year. It's a minor trophy, but it always carried that little bit of extra kudos that says "I monstered the start of the season... or got lucky." Here's how they line up from last year's championship:

1. Þorvaldur Einarsson
2. Jan Magnussen
3. Hideki Noda
(NA. Bruno Giacomelli) – retired
4. Yuji Ide - unlucky, Yuji! (allegedly)
5. Chris Dagnall
6. Luca Badoer
7. Pedro Chaves
8. Marco Apicella
9. Shinji Nakano
10. Gabriele Tarquini
11. Marko Asmer
12. Philippe Alliot
13. Paul Belmondo
14. Jean-Denis Délétraz
15. Andrea Montermini
16. Joachim Winkelhock

So the first round will be:

(1) Einarsson v (16) Winkelhock
(2) Magnussen v (15) Montermini
(3) Noda v (14) Délétraz
(4) Ide v (13) Belmondo
(5) Dagnall v (12) Alliot
(6) Badoer v (11) Asmer
(7) Chaves v (10) Tarquini
(8) Apicella v (9) Nakano

[DemocalypseNow]

Chaves vs Tarquini! Interesting matchup. I imagine Pedro will be pretty determined to beat his replacement...

[dinizintheoven]

Round 1: Interlagos, Brazil
Saturday, 18 April 2015



PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'21.156
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'21.368
3 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'21.765
4 –    42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'22.154
5 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'22.280
6 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'23.042
7 –    31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'23.590
8 –    36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'23.601

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'23.877
DNPQ – 17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'24.039
DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'24.351
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'24.427
DNPQ – 24 E. Tuero            Minardi        1'24.547
DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'24.944
DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'25.028

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'25.427
DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'25.538
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'27.218
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'27.328
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'27.707
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'28.932
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'29.446

And so we have it: the first ever pre-qualifying session in F1RMGP. Andrea Montermini was the first car out onto the track, for a run which would be ultimately futile. Barely ten seconds later, Kasper Andersen followed him out... and put in the fastest time of the session, right out of the bat. Nobody expected that – least of all the pundits who had thought Ice One would secure first and second place in every pre-qualifying session. It was generally a great day for the new Nordic squads as Sebastian Hohenthal grabbed fourth place and ensured a full line-up in qualifying for both teams – as would Arrows have, with Vitantonio Liuzzi taking to F1RMGP like a duck to water and Vincenzo Sospiri grabbing eighth place at the death. Enrico Bertaggia, as expected, and Perry McCarthy completed the pre-qualifiers, so that means one car for Minardi and Stefan, and it's goodnight Vienna to FIRST, Pacific, Hispania, Spyker, SPAM and Shekel. Interestingly, Adrian Shankar wasn't the slowest driver of all. I wonder if someone put a non-kosher meat pie in Chanoch Nissany's exhaust?



QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'19.248
2 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'21.356
3 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'21.412
4 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'21.440
5 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'21.599
6 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'21.608
7 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'21.719
8 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'21.801
9 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'21.916
10 –   13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'22.043
11 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'22.200
12 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'22.269
13 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'22.716

Code: Select all

14 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'22.876
15 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'23.005
16 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'23.197
17 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'23.317
18 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'23.476
19 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'23.949
20 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'24.154
21 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'24.390
22 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'24.515
23 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'24.709
24 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'24.711
25 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'24.743
26 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'24.897

Code: Select all

DNQ –  19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'25.547
DNQ –  30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'25.983

Take that. Anyone who was in any doubt as to why Þorvaldur Einarsson has the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup in his trophy cabinet back in Iceland, that's why. A Senna-esque performance at Senna's home circuit has resulted in him beating the rest of the field by a clear two seconds, and it's most likely to be a race for second place for everyone else – unless something was to go wrong, like a baked meat product being inserted where baked meat products should not be inserted by rival teams. Chris Dagnall led the challenge for everyone else, edging out pre-season favourite Yuji Ide for the front row, with Luca Badoer not far behind on his debut for the new SAAC organisation. The Leyton Houses ended up in a Forti sandwich – no idea how that happened, but then this is Forti's home race and they have half a million Brazilians cheering them on. Gabriele Tarquini was second of the SAACs, with Jan Magnussen in tenth the first of the new teams – he'll be very disappointed with that. Not half as disappointed as Tommy Rustad, though, beaten by the man he replaced at Viking... and one of his potential replacements after this season in a vastly inferior car – and the Shinjinator as well.

Marko Asmer has every right to be annoyed at heading the second half of the grid – great things are expected from him this year and it hasn't happened here, and Sebastian Hohenthal will be desperate to show his worth (even though the already has). Vinnie Sospiri showed Arrows' pre-qualifying form wasn't a fluke, although some might have expected Enrico Bertaggia to have put that Minardi higher after his pre-season heroics. Then came Eric van de Poele, having a tough start to his F1RMGP career, followed by the teams for whom it is going to be squeaky bum time after six rounds, so we reckon – a moxture of Dome, AGS, ATS Rial and Simtek – with the last two of the pre-qualifiers, Vitantonio Liuzzi for Arrows and Perry McCarthy for Stefan getting in the mix, which would leave Smokin' Jo Winkelhock not making smoke from his car on race day, sitting on the sidelines instead, and it was a wasted start to Domenico Schiattarella's F1RMGP career. The Germans need now worry too much, though, if Hammermüller lives up to his reputation and barged everyone else out the way...

One final point: long-term F1RMGP aficionados might remember Michael Andretti lapping the entire field at one race in the 2011 season. The scene is set for a potential repeat performance if Þorvaldur plays his cards right.



RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         71   1h 40'03.518
2 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   70   + 1 lap                                                     
3 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           70   + 1 lap                                                     
4 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          70   + 1 lap                                                     
5 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        70   + 1 lap                                                     
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           70   + 1 lap                                                     
7 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           70   + 1 lap                                                     
8 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    69   + 2 laps                                                    
9 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        69   + 2 laps                                                    
10 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       69   + 2 laps                                                    
11 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         69   + 2 laps                                                    
12 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           68   + 3 laps                                                    
13 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           68   + 4 laps                                                    

Code: Select all

14 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         65   engine                                                      
15 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            62   transmission                                                
16 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         60   transmission                                                
17 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   57   engine                                                      
18 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           54   fuel system                                                 
19 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         48   transmission                                                
20 –   8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    45   transmission                                                
21 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       34   transmission                                                
22 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        30   engine                                                      
23 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         27   transmission                                                
24 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            23   suspension                                                  
25 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          17   electrical                                                  
26 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       7    engine                                                      

Take that. Again. Everyone else may as well have not bothered turning up, if it wasn't for all the points on offer. Þorvaldur Einarsson was absolutely peerless on the track, cutting through the traffic – of which he experienced a lot – easier than a berserker hacking through a crowd of hippies. Only Yuji Ide had any chance of stopping the Icelander Doing An Andretti, as it may be termed, and when his gearbox vandalised itself after 45 laps, the writing was on the wall in huge, neon letters. However, it did give Fabrizio Barbazza an even better start to his Leyton House career than he'd been expecting, even if he had to be a lap down, and Gabriele Tarquini didn't look too miffed with the podium he inherited from the luckless Japanese. Cheered on by the home crowd, it was obvious the Forti isn't a spectacular car this year, but Adrian Sutil brought it home fourth, unrejectifying himself at the first time of asking, and that might already be enough to keep the Brazilian squad away from the pre-qualifying reshuffle after Silverstone, which they were in a mild panic about. Jan Magnussen was fuming about being lapped by his old team-mate in his first race for the new Ice One team, but if he was cursing his decision to leave, maybe he shouldn't have, and amused himself with a private battle with Chris Dagnall and Luca Badoer for fifth, which he won. Shinji Nakano was left to carry the honours for Super Aguri, bringing the car home in eighth ahead of a somewhat unsteady Marko Asmer, still adjusting to life at the front of the grid, but maybe allowing himself a few smiles at what his former team have been plunged into. Sebastian Hohenthal rounded off the points, getting Polestar on the scoresheet at their first ever attempt, albeit two laps down... and who's that he held off for the last point? It was Tommy Rustad. The Norwegian was complaining over the team radio of the car howling like a banshee for the whole race... it seems someone hadn't rebuilt one of the superchargers correctly, and said mechanic has been given a sound thrashing. Eric van de Poele and Marco Apicella – a whole four laps down – were the only other cars to finish...

...which left half the field sitting by the side of the road. Kasper Andersen, who looked the more likely contender to score Polestar's first point this weekend, was given only seven laps before the Kia... sorry, Volvo engine grenaded itself. Pedro Chaves could do nothing about the dodgy electrics in his Forti, Philippe Alliot's first race for AGS was ruined with a bent suspension arm, and when Vinnie Sospiri's gearbox decided it would rather be a solid lump of iron instead, that seemed to set off a whole spring of transmission failures that would take out a further five cars – those of Michael Ammermüller, Yuji Ide (as mentioned before), fellow Arrows driver Vitantonio Liuzzi, Perry McCarthy and Olivier Beretta. On days such as these, teams like Stefan and AGS will need to take advantage – but they couldn't, ditto Arrows although they look more likely to score sooner rather than later. Three further engine troubles sidelined three more cars – those of Enrico Bertaggia, who'd used the same engine as he'd thrashed to within an inch of its life at the pre-season tests, as well as Hideki Noda – proving that journalists shouldn't speak too soon – and Paul Belmondo, extinguishing any last hope of Simtek salvaging something from the weekend, although having completed 65 laps he was officially classified 14th. The only other retirement left to mention was Alex Yoong, who'd being going well for Dome after the rocket he had up his arse before the season started, only to find his fuel pump sucking on nothing and the car spluttering to a halt.

First blood to Þorvaldur Einarsson, then. And where are we going next? That's right, it's his favourite race in Mexico...



DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         25
2 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   18
3 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           15
4 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          12
5 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        10
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           8
7 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           6
8 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    4
9 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        2
10 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    Viking         25
2 –    SAAC           21
3 –    Leyton House   18
4 =    Forti          12
4 =    Ice One        12
6 –    F1RM           8
7 –    Super Aguri    4
8 –    Polestar       1

APERTURA – FIRST ROUND

Incidentally, a DNQ beats a DNPQ, for what it's worth – not that this is a likely scenario.

(1) Einarsson (1st) v (16) Winkelhock (DNQ)
(2) Magnussen (5th) v (15) Montermini (DNPQ)
(3) Noda (DNF) v (14) Délétraz (DNPQ)
(4) Ide (DNF, 45 laps) v (13) Belmondo (14th)
(5) Dagnall (6th) v (12) Alliot (DNF)
(6) Badoer (7th) v (11) Asmer (9th)
(7) Chaves (DNF) v (10) Tarquini (3rd)
(8) Apicella (13th) v (9) Nakano (8th)

Quarter-final line-up:

(1) Einarsson v (9) Nakano
(2) Magnussen v (10) Tarquini
(3) Noda v (6) Badoer
(13) Belmondo v (5) Dagnall

[DemocalypseNow]

Both SAACs still in the Apertura? SUCCESS!

Shame that Badoer went backwards but at least we got a podium on our debut...given how rubbish Tommy Rustad is, those swashbuckling northerners better watch out in the WIlli Kauhsen Cup!

[FMecha]

Hey, who got ROTR today?

[dr-baker]

Hey, who got ROTR today?

Anybody who isn't Þorvaldur Einarsson?

[dinizintheoven]

Arse. I knew there was something I'd forgotten. And while dr-b and kostas both have a point, I'm going to give it to Eric van de Poele. It's well known that the F1RM is a considerably better car than last year, and that was a performance that even Jean-Denis Délétraz would have been embarrassed by... the same JDD who finished third here last year before going on a hideous run of failure that cost him his drive and relegation to drive for Pacific. Eric will hope for more...

[SuperAguri]

I do sense a little nordic bias to the series...

Still where would you be without Autosport?

Pickled Herring found in Super Aguri transmission
Super Aguri engineers when taking apart the car to find out what went wrong with the car were surprised to find traces of cooked pickled herring in the transmission, leading some members of the team to think there was industrial sabotage. Aguri Suzuki was quick to act and decided to suspend all members of the team that have nordic links, first people that were born or have relations from Nordic countries, then anyone that had listened to Björk, ABBA, A-ha, Aqua or Europe, anyone that had bought anything from IKEA and then anyone who had bought anything of Nordic origin. Aguri Suzuki said "I had some Salmon sashimi that came from Norway, so I am suspending myself and I will be asking myself some direct and searching questions. No one knows Aguri Suzuki better then myself and if anyone can get anything from Aguri Suzuki then it will be me. However we shall do our investigations and be racing again before the next race.". Some alledge that it could be Viking as they know Yuji Ide is their biggest threat, with Shinji Nakano being as much of a threat as a teddy bear with a chocolate dagger. We will follow this story as it evolves.

Barbazza shows off new look
Fabrizio Barbazza paid homage to Perry McCarthy as he showed off his shiny head at a press conference. He said "I was told my hair was dead weight and was effecting my driving, so after much soul searching and a night out with Perry and Roberto [Moreno], I visited an all night barber and drunkly got my curly locks cut off, first I was distraught but my engineers forced me in the car for the friday practice session and I was quick, they said they could move the ballast around to make the car more drivable. At weigh in, I found I had lost over 4.2kg, a huge weight off my mind. I qualified well and was rewarded by a podium. So thanks again to Perry and Roberto!

Bomb squad called to Dome factor
A bomb squad was called to check as suspicious package that had been dumped at the front door of Dome. At 7.15am the package arrived and an engineer took a peak in the box but was knocked back by a silent force and was knocked unconcious. He was dragged away and taken to a local hospital, the police were called and they called the bomb squad, who xrayed the box and could see tin openers and tins, but they blew it up in a controlled explosion, however the contents released a obnoxious gas which caused the police and army to evacuate an area of 5km in radius. Residents had to live in schools and halls whilst the gas dispersed and it was several days before residents were allowed back home. Army scientists calimed that the gas was from a over fermented batch of Surströmming and are treating it as a terrorist attack. More on this story as it unfolds.

Ricard Rosset wants another chance
Ricard Rosset who last raced back in 2011 in the hopeless Lola car, wants another drive, in ragged driving overalls and an unkempt beard he ranted outside our offices, until we offered him a cup of espresso and a sticky bun, he said "Thanks, not eaten since I failed to qualify in my old Footwork FA17 in a historic formula one race and had to beg for scraps to race. The 2011 Lola was a pile of horse manure gravy and I wanted another chance to prove myself, I know I would be faster then that Rustad guy and faster then half the grid. Please give me a seat, I will take anything, well not the Shekal, SPAM or First as I do have standards to keep." as he said this, he stores half the bun in his underpants. We wish Rosset luck as he would be better then some of the deadweight in F1RMGP.

Lola also eyeing a return
Although the Lola team left at the end of the 2013 season after three seasons and 4 points to show for it, they have a new project and want to get back into F1RMGP. However this time it is not with a car, but with an engine, Lola are working on a new V10 engine which they hope they can get a lower team to lease from them, a spokesman said "The Lola V10 engine will be more powerful then you can imagine, er I mean, definately more powerful then what Ford could ever come up with.", we will keep an eye on this project.

Scott Russell Engines also having a crack or two.
Designer Al Melling has announced two engines for the 2016 season, a conventional V8 engine and a triple turbocharged W9 engine. The W9 engine is not new as it is the old Proton / Meccachrome of the 2013 season, but Al Melling said "We bought the W9 engine plans as we feel we can get them to work, it would require a few changes but this engine will challenge the Suzuki engine as the most powerful engine on the grid, the V8 is a cheap engine that should help the lower teams compete on a budget.", a big boast if ever we heard one but they have bought some old Toleman cars from the 2014 season and are going to do some tests with non other then Bruno Giacomelli, test driver of the stars, Emanuele Naspetti and Plamen Kralev will also join him on the road to engine testing.

[DemocalypseNow]

Rosset to Minardi?

Esteban Tuero is already on the edge of being fired by Minardi after very poor performances in pre-season and then at the first race of the season, and after openly admitting he is looking for an F1RMGP comeback, Riccardo Rosset has been linked to the seat.

"Rosset? Sure, why the f*** not," said Il Barone Rampante CEO Alasdair Lindsay. "This Tuero guy has turned out to be utter cack anyway. Pretty sure Taki Inoue would do a better job. Actually, I do wonder if Taki is availabe right now..."

Lancia Minardi Racing team principal Paul Stoddart was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.

[dinizintheoven]

As the teams roll into Mexico City for a rampage around the world's bumpiest circuit (which must be why Þorvaldur Einarsson likes it so much, being used to those nasty Icelandic roads), it's time for a quick newsround before the action starts...

Rustad: "One win will be enough!"

Drafted into the team at the last minute and already being barracked by the motorsport press, Tommy Rustad has denied all rumours that Team Principal Odin has described his team-mate as "the anointed one who gets first choice of everything in my golden chariots", and that his middle name is Felipe. In fact, despite a bewilderingly anonymous performance at Interlagos, the Norwegian is remarkably upbeat. "Sure, I know this isn't supposed to be my championship," he said to a random hack who thrust a microphone in his face, "but, if you asked me at the beginning of the season if I'd be happy to win a race here - just one - after spending so long in Touring Cars, I'd say yes. And we are allowed to race - there's actually no favourites down at Viking, and remember I'm the one whose nationality matches that of the team..." Þorvaldur Einarsson was unavailable for comment on his team-mate's potential for victory, but was alleged to be at a local restaurant, stuffing burritos into his mouth. You know, seeing as this is where they actually come from.

Tuero: "I'm better than Rosset!"

Another driver under fire after only one race is Minardi's Esteban Tuero. Regularly more than a second behind Enrico Bertaggia, which can make so much difference in pre-qualifying, there are already rumours that Ricardo Rosset is planning a return to F1RMGP after a hiatus even longer than Emanuele Naspetti's. "Actually, I think someone out there doesn't like me," Tuero said on the eve of practice for the Mexican Grand Prix. "I think it's Vanina Ickx, I think she's a bit teed off that I got the drive she was looking for. And after pre-qualifying in Brazil I looked in the exhaust pipe of my car and found a Belgian bun and a dollop of frietsaus. Who could have put that there?" Tuero has further urged the team to keep him on until the second half of the season at least, firmly believing that Minardi will be out of pre-qualifying by them, and he will be able to get on the grid every time and score points regularly. Team Principal Paul Stoddart was heard mumbling something about "a flaming gollah" and though Infernal Overlord of parent company Il Barone Rampante, Alasdair Lindsay, was unavailable for comment at the time, he probably will be when pre-qualifying starts.

Polestar: "Do they mean us? Again..."

After a piece of pickled herring found its way into the transmission of Yuji Ide's car at Interlagos and has been traced to a jar sourced from Ikea, Polestar have been left wondering if the accusing finger has been pointed at them. "What would we want to do that for?" Team Principal Vincent Radermecker was heard to comment. "Personally I can't stand the stuff, I wonder what our drivers see in it, Sebastian in particular - but it seems bizarre that anyone could infiltrate the garage of a rival team, dismantle the transmission, drop the herring in there, rebuild it and leave unnoticed. By the way, has anyone got a Belgian bun? I'm starving and homesick at the same time."

Shekelslike: "What a bunch of schmucks!"

No, it's not his daughter's alleged racing team... Sir Bernard Shekelslike has been seen publicly facepalming at the news that Lola and Scott Russell are trying to develop normally-aspirated engines for the 2016 season... when they'll be against the regulations. "There's no wonder Lola went into administration if they took both eyes off the ball like that!" Sir Bernie groaned, trying not to mess up his scarecrow hair. "And as for Scott Russell, we know how seriously we can take them when they've also tried to get that Proton W9 working..." It is well known that F1RMGP is trying to get an "entry-level" engine ready for smaller teams, and is likely to do so for next year; currently Kia is favourite to do so, having supplied a weedy engine to the two teams with the highest numbers on the grid, although one of them has been rebadged. Shekel Racing would have been the third had they not done the deal with MGN, and Arrows were also in line to do so before being given their supply of Neotechs. Two litres is likely to be the maximum capacity for next year's all-blown regulations, bar the diesels which will be run to Le Mans regulations, and the word is that Koenigsegg are working on something "capable of knocking Suzuki into the weeds".

[DemocalypseNow]

Unless I am very much mistaken, the holographic quota is not full at the moment.

Hang on lads, I've just had a great idea...

A few hours later in the Mexico City paddock...

So Alasdair, what do you make of Esteban Tuero's recent comments about his drive at Minardi?

I don't give a flying f**k what he has to say, I only care that he puts the car on the bloody grid. If he can't do that, he's sacked, end of. And he'd better hurry up because I've almsot got a replacement signed already.

[dinizintheoven]

Unless I am very much mistaken, the holographic quota is not full at the moment.

Hang on lads, I've just had a great idea...

There are two slots available for this race, and for Canada. Then one for the whole European season (because Lella Lombardi will be involved in the WEC), and two for the final three races in South Africa, Japan and Australia.

And on that note...

[dinizintheoven]

Round 2: Mexico City, Mexico
Saturday, 2 May 2015



PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'22.321
2 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'22.399
3 –    42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'23.237
4 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'23.519
5 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'23.634
6 –    26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'23.672
7 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'23.750
8 –    31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'23.904

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'23.936
DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'23.941
DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'24.056
DNPQ – 36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'24.106
DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'24.339
DNPQ – 24 E. Tuero            Minardi        1'24.687
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'24.869

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'25.183
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'25.714
DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'26.030
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'26.503
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'26.719
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'28.001
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'31.172

Take two for F1RMGP pre-qualifying, and to nobody's surprise, it's already normal service resumed – Jan Magnussen topped the timesheets, as expected, but if he thought he'd have it all his own way, then Enrico Bertaggia gave him something of a scare. No doubt about it, he's punching above that car's weight... in the same way that his under-fire team-mate is punching below it. Sebastian Hohenthal showed his team-mate the way this time, but both Polestars made it through the Thursday afternoon trial by fire again – although, with all the drizzle in the sky, unusual for Mexico at this time of year, it was more of a trial by water. Marko Asmer was caught out slightly by those wet conditions but still managed fourth, Tonio Liuzzi kept the rain out of his mullet for long enough to take fifth and another appearance on Friday afternoon for Arrows, with Christophe Bouchut the new arrival on the Friday afternoon in place of Vincenzo Sospiri; the other seven pre-qualifiers had all made it through that hurdle in Brazil. It was thought that the 1'24 mark was the one to beat to get through pre-qualifying; monumental efforts from Gregor Foitek and Eliseo Salazar came to nothing, though, both beating that barrier but returning the 9th and 10th fastest times – not good enough!

And talking of not good enough: trapped amongst the Hispanias, neither of whom looked particularly likely to break the 1'24 barrier, was Esteban Tuero – oh dear, Esteban, I think you've just lost your drive there. If there was any tiny consolation, at least he ended up ahead of the Pacifics, who were having an utterly torrid time, so much that Milos Pavlovic managed to get in amongst them. And if it's been an utterly horrific introduction to the world of F1RMGP so far for Joël Camathias and Karun Chandhok, then spare a thought for the Shekel drivers – the boss came to see how they were doing, and to see if she could secure sponsorship for the team from Telmex. Unfortunately, Miss Shekelslike's feminine charms did not work on them, sponsorship was not forthcoming and there was much screaming and stamping of feet in the garage. And stamping of feet in steel-tipped stilettos is not a very good idea when there was stray fuel on Chanoch Nissany's side of the garage... cue sparks and an inferno which burnt the engine cover to a crisp, and he had to drive with the engine exposed. That's extra publicity for MGN, but with such revoltingly compromised aerodynamics there's no wonder his qualifying time was as miserable as the average Life's. Adrian Shankar wasn't much better, though, with a fully functioning car. Keep on laughing at the back!



QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'20.187
2 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'20.391
3 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'20.848
4 –    5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'21.386
5 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'21.476
6 –    26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'21.588
7 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'21.750
8 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'21.898
9 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'22.130
10 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'22.133
11 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'22.249
12 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'22.508
13 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'22.664

Code: Select all

14 –   9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'22.977
15 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'23.010
16 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'23.168
17 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'23.204
18 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'23.205
19 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'23.287
20 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'23.480
21 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'23.627
22 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'23.874
23 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'23.904
24 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'24.137
25 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'24.291
26 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'24.568

Code: Select all

DNQ –  31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'25.256
DNQ –  30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'26.762

How about that for taking the opportunity that comes to you? The ageing Ford do Brasil engine may have sprouted a supercharger for this year, but it's like putting a plaster over an amputation scar with the power deficit that it's developing. Rain is the great leveller, though, and Pedro Chaves was absolutely masterful in the wet conditions to beat both Þorvaldur Einarsson and Yuji Ide to the front of the grid. As for further brilliant news for teams that might be struggling a bit, Marco Apicella dragged his Dome up to a magnificent fourth, ahead of Jan Magnussen... who was in turn followed by Christophe Bouchut, about to make his first race start and show that SPAM's limp DNPQs in Brazil were an aberration. Enrico Bertaggia kept up with the pace of the frontrunners as well, even beating the Rampant Baron's A-squad. See, I said he was punching above that car's weight. Shinji Nakano rounded out the top ten, and in 11th and 13th were the two Leyton Houses, proving that power is no good without control, as the Pirelli advert once said – they were slithering all over the place, and that Olivier Beretta managed to slot his AGS between them was a real surprise.

Into the second half of the grid, Chris Dagnall fell foul of the weather in a similar way to the Leyton Houses, but still cleared the 1'23 mark – unlike Philippe Alliot and Paul Belmondo, but they'll still both be pleased with the times they've posted. The next four slots were filled by the Number Twos Who Got It Wrong – all of them officially the lower-ranked drivers of their respective teams, but not exactly low-ranked in the field, and who should be right up there at the sharp end. So it'll be difficult questions come interview time for Tommy Rustad, Marko Asmer, Adrian Sutil and Eric van de Poele, keen to avoid a repeat of Brazil's (belated) Reject Of The Race award. Three of the pre-qualifiers had a slightly nervous time out there, wondering if their Thursday efforts had all been worth it – but, eventually, Tonio Liuzzi and the two Polestars managed to get through to the race in 21st to 23rd positions. Brown trousers time came at ATS Rial and Dome – both the German cars just managed to qualify with Alex Yoong between them, which left Perry McCarthy to wonder just how he'd managed to squander a golden opportunity. More than a second slower than in pre-qualifying? Stefan can't afford that this season. Finally, the race commentators heaved a sigh of relief that Domenico Schiattarella didn't make it in, but how Simtek's management must curse the day that Marko Asmer won in Hungary and booked himself a passport to a higher team... they need him, more than he needed them.



RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    69   1h 40'08.672
2 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          69   1h 40'31.564
3 –    5  M. Apicella         Dome           69   1h 40'42.342
4 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        69   1h 40'55.294
5 –    26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           69   1h 41'01.099
6 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        69   1h 41'01.815
7 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           69   1h 41'17.604
8 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           68   + 1 lap                                                     
9 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   68   + 1 lap                                                     
10 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    68   + 1 lap                                                     
11 –   9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           68   + 1 lap                                                     
12 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            68   + 1 lap                                                     
13 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   68   + 1 lap                                                     

Code: Select all

14 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         67   + 2 laps                                                    
15 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          67   + 2 laps                                                    
16 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            67   + 2 laps                                                    
17 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        67   + 2 laps                                                    
18 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       67   + 2 laps                                                    
19 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       67   + 2 laps                                                    
20 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         67   + 2 laps                                                    
21 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           67   + 2 laps                                                    
22 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       66   + 3 laps                                                    
23 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           66   + 3 laps                                                    
24 –   1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         63   transmission                                                
25 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       62   engine                                                      
26 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         32   loose wheel                                                                                            

If ever there was the example of a race result not telling the whole story, this is it. Pedro Chaves' amazing pole wasn't a false dawn, but had looked like it as he plunged backwards through the field at the start, whereas Yuji Ide sprung himself forwards, overtaking Þorvaldur Einarsson in a daring move on lap 5. Not so long afterwards, the Icelander was back ahead after Ide made a mistake, drifting wide at the Peraltada, and that – so it seemed – was that. Christophe Bouchut, meanwhile, had charged through to second. It was all to do with fuel, though – Chaves was heavy, Ide was very light, and in the end it looked like the Japanese gamble with an extra pit stop would not pay off - Þorvaldur was so far ahead it looked like a done deal. That was, until the Viking's transmission shattered itself to a million pieces on lap 64... and already the investigation will be underway to see if any bits of sushi or wasabi paste have crept in there.

This left Ide as the winner of the race – not the crushing victory he'd have hoped for, and it was inherited, but it's a win nonetheless and he'll take it. Chaves eventually finished second, going one less pit stop than everyone else and two less than Ide – he didn't have the speed to win, but that's a massive shot in the arm for Forti. Ditto Marco Apicella and Dome, bringing home the bacon, or whatever the Japanese equivalent of that is, to score his first podium since Belgium last year. Jan Magnussen, for whatever reason, missed out – but as he was about to be lapped by his former team-mate within the last five laps, I doubt he cared too much in the end – more points, yes, but he thought his new team might be championship contenders. Maybe they are, just not yet? Anyway, from a championship challenge to a struggle to make the grid in the first place – Christophe Bouchut was a revelation in the rain, in the diesel SPAM; two-thirds of the way towards unrejectification on his first race start, and with ten points in the bag for SPAM, that might prove to be enough to lift them out of the pre-qualifying lottery. Equally, Enrico Bertaggia took sixth for Minardi, and with only one car firing on all cylinders, they need the points as well – though they've got it easier than SPAM ever did. As he had in qualifying, Bertie showed the two SAACs the way, only one of those – Luca Badoer – finishing on the lead lap, on a day that really wasn't theirs. Still, it was more than what Fabrizio Barbazza could manage after his wonderful podium in Brazil, ninth being his finish here, with Shinji Nakano taking the final point and leaving Chris Dagnall empty-handed.

Olivier Beretta finished 12th and, amazingly, beat Hideki Noda in the more powerful Leyton House – Noda had the worst of their handling problems and could barely keep the ferocious power of the Suzuki engine in check on the straights, as he snaked all over the place in the wet. Two laps down were Paul Belmondo, Adrian Sutil, Philippe Alliot, Marko Asmer, Joachim Winkelhock, Sebastian Hohenthal, Tonio Liuzzi and Eric van de Poele – the last of these, desperate to avoid a second successive Reject Of The Race, overdrove the car and ended up going backwards through the field. But he avoided the dreaded award, as did the misfiring Sutil and Asmer, and even the triple-lapped Michael Ammermüller and Alex Yoong...

...because to get to the day's ignominy, we must look at the retirements. Reject Of The Race goes, quite deservingly, to Kasper Andersen, and here's why. Running dead last and about to be lapped by Tommy Rustad, who was a lowly 14th at the time, the Dane made a careless move and clonked Rustad's car wheel to wheel. It must have caused a wheel bolt to snap, or something similar – the Norwegian hadn't been to the pits but was shocked at the sight of being overtaken by his own rear wheel as his car suddenly slid around wildly, and his race was run. Andersen then further ruined his audition for the Viking drive next year by blocking the man who was about to lap him for the second time... that's right, Þorvaldur Einarsson. That the Icelander would retire almost within sight of the chequered flag was neither here nor there, and when Andersen's engine finally blew up due to him over-revving it in a vain attempt to claw back some credibility that day, his fate was sealed. Better luck next time, Kasp!

So... Þorvaldur Einarsson's reign as the supreme overlord of Mexico is over, but until five laps from the end it certainly wasn't going to look that way. The next race, in Canada, features the dreaded Wall Of Champions: Pedro Chaves and Gabriele Tarquini hit it in 2013, though it remained unscarred last year. Will anyone hit it this time?




DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 =    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         25
1 =    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    25
3 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        22
4 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20
5 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           19
6 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
7 –    5  M. Apicella         Dome           15
8 =    12 A. Sutil            Forti          12
8 =    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           12
10 –   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
11 =   9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           8
11 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        8
13 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    5

Code: Select all

14 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        2
15 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    SAAC           31
2 =    Super Aguri    30
2 =    Forti          30
4 –    Viking         25
5 –    Ice One        24
6 –    Leyton House   20
7 –    Dome           15
8 –    SPAM           10
9 =    F1RM           8
9 =    Minardi        8
11 –   Polestar       1

APERTURA – QUARTER FINALS

(1) Einarsson (DNF) v (9) Nakano (10th)
(2) Magnussen (4th) v (10) Tarquini (8th)
(3) Noda (13th) v (6) Badoer (7th)
(13) Belmondo (14th) v (5) Dagnall (11th)

Semi-final line-up:

(9) Nakano v (5) Dagnall
(2) Magnussen v (6) Badoer

[DemocalypseNow]

#sacktuero

Il Barone Rampante investigating F1RMGP holograph availability

CDS can confirm that Il Barone Rampante, a key partner in the Lancia Minardi F1RMGP team, are making serious inquiries into using Sir Bernand Sheikhslike's holographic projector to generate a replacement for the lacklustre Esteban Tuero, who has failed to escape pre-qualifying so far this season. In comparison, team-mate Enrico Bertraggia has 8 points in the championship thanks to a 5th place finish in the Brazilian GP.

"Esteban needs to start matching his team-mate, and fast," said IBR CEO Alasdair Lindsay. "Enrico has done a fantastic job this season, and really demonstrated what the Lancia Minardi package is capable of. Esteban is not making full use of this car, and if he can't start to improve, we will find someone else who will maximise the car's potential. It is up to him and not us whether he will finish the season or not."

[dinizintheoven]

Marktin Brundell's Newsround

*twiddles thumbs*

So, I've arrived in Montreal and... nothing? No more from the excitable Italian press? No wildly inaccurate rumours from Autosport to debunk? Some Publication isn't publishing anything? J.O.U.R.N.A.L. has seemingly become an annual?

I'm off for a tray of poutine right by the edge of the St. Lawrence river in the hope some Scottish pirates come sailing up it and there are more adventures to be had...

[SuperAguri]

Ide - The Vikings should be sacked
In a pun worthy of a low end tabloid newspaper, Yuji Ide has thrown the gauntlet down saying "The age of Viking has come to an end and Super Aguri and me will take the championship. Rustad has his own team against him when they did not tighten up a wheel and Einarsson better watch his engineers. Although Nakano will have to pull his socks up if he is going to be a good number 2, I want a number two is behind me and not in front of me when I lap them.", when question on what he meant, Ide just beemed a smile of someone who knows something.

Super Aguri sack two Danish engineers
After their investigation, Super Aguri fired two engineers who were born in Denmark and had previously worked for Polestar and Viking, after a large number of jars of pickled herring were found in their lockers and desk draws. Neither engineer could explain why they had so many jars, more then two people could eat in a year, although one did try to claim he loved it so much he had to have a piece every few hours. A spokesman for Super Aguri said, "Hopefully we will not have any more transmission failures, but these Nords are tricky people and we shall be keeping an eye out.". Super Aguri stormed to victory in Mexico after Einarsson retired with a transmission failure

Ginger found in Viking transmission
A piece of cooked ginger was found in the Viking transmission by the team after an investigation in why the transmission failed. However Viking Racing have not made a statement and we are looking forward to this.

Rosset seen in the Minardi garage.
Rumours of Rosset signing for Minardi increased after Rosset was seem in the Minardi garage and motorhome during the Mexican GP, while Bertaggia breeze past prequalifying, qualified 7th and got a hatfull of points with a 6th, Tuero did not pass prequalify. Rosset, now clean shaven and wearing a off the peg suit from a budget suit shop was said to have been smiling like it was going out of fashion.

Adrian Campos makes take over bid for Hispania
Adrian Campos surpirsed many when he made a hostile take over bid for the shares in Hispania he does not hold, he and Enrique Rodríguez of Meta Image want to take back the team they founded from José Ramón Carabante who owns the majority of shares. Campos and Rodriguez want to rename the team Campos Meta and to bring the team forward, after a very poor start to the season where they have posted 4 DNPQs. They have a new chassis in the works from Dallara as well as an new engine deal with a newly reformed Spanish car company Pegaso.

Wolf Pure racing post 2016 entry form off
Walter Wolf and Craig Pollock have sent in their 2016 entry form to the FRMGPM in a hope they can get their Canadian superteam off the ground, they have Jacques Villeneuve and Jacques Villeneuve driving for them and a chassis and a new turbo engine ready as well as a heap of funding, Pollock said "We should be in F1RMGP next year or I'll eat a Pollock"

HKS embarrassed by Stefan
A senior HKS manager was overheard saying "If Stefan keep being rubbish then we will have to commit Seppuku, we have until the end of the season to see a podium.", it is rumoured the HKS will build a faster and more powerful V12 engine within the next 4 races.

Spyker to build own engine
It is heavily rumoured that Spyker are unhappy with the Neotech engines and are planning to build their own engines with input from Cosworth, these engines will be 4.2L V12 Twin turbo engines and should be as powerful as the Suzuki and Koenigsegg engines. Spyker refused to comment.

Scott Russell Engines correct press release
An intern writing the press release for Scott Russell engines was fired after a number of mistakes were noticed, a spokesman said, "It was full of errors, embarassing errors. We will be building a cheap V8 Twin Turbo engine for the 2014 season and we are working on a W9 triple supercharged engine, but this is an all new design and will be as powerful as the Suzuki and Koenigsegg engines but with a lower centre of gravity and it will be offered to anyone at all, yes even First. I hope this clears the matter up."

Lola shocked at blunder.
We reported that Lola were making a V8 engine even though normally aspriated engines will be illegal next year and when we asked Lola about this an engineer said "Illegal? No one told us that.", before a spokesman shoved him violently out of the way and added "Well we knew that, that is why our engine will be a turbo and supercharged V8 engine which will blow Suzuki and Koenigseggeegeegegegegegeeggeggg into the weeds."

Marktin Brundell seen in Red light district
After complaing there was no news, even though there was more news then you could shake a Life engine at, commenator and journalist was seen downing shandies and was seen in the bosom of a lady of the night. When he saw us he said "Oh sugar" and ran off.

[dinizintheoven]

Viking: "We support Tommy!"
Yuji Ide may gloat, but being tied at the top of the Drivers' Championship after two races and with SAAC in the lead of the Constructors' he needs to telling that this season is far from over. Tommy Rustad, meanwhile, is looking forward to an improved showing this weekend after a couple of unsatisfactory races at the beginning of the season, having been promised a year's supply of brunost if he can beat Þorvaldur Einarsson in a race before the first pre-qualifying change - not that Viking are in any position to be dropping into the abyss. "I'm so confident that I'll do it at this race that I've even brought my waffle iron with me to the motorhome!" Rustad replied to a passing Canadian journalist, who asked if he'd also like to consider maple syrup in his waffles.

Polestar get some Danish bacon
Rather put out at being sacked from Super Aguri for being Danish, two engineers have joined Polestar with the intention of getting Kasper Andersen out of his early-season rut. Some blame inter-Scandinavian rivalry at the Swedish team, with Swedish driver Sebastian Hohenthal thought to be overly favoured - certainly it's two-nil to him in the battle for the Viking seat next year. Andersen was heard to be moaning about how one of his engineers, who is Swedish, hadn't quite got it all right with his setup in Brazil, despite topping the timesheets in pre-qualifying. The Danish engineers will be expected to produce a better setup for Andersen at Montreal, or some excess jars of pickled herring might just find themselves floating off down the St. Lawrence river...

Viking engineer explains the ginger in the transmission
The piece of ginger came from an errant Chinese takeaway that one of the Viking engineers treated himself to after Þorvaldur Einarsson's crushing win at Interlagos. He has since been shouted at by team chef Niclas Lundberg, and his face melted. He is in hospital in Montreal awaiting reconstruction, and is expected to be seen in Monaco with a bag on his head.

Tuero for the hologrammatic axe?
Ricardo Rosset may have designs on the second Minardi seat with Esteban Tuero underperforming and constantly seeing himself in line for the chop, but with the F1RMGP Hologram Projection Unit being lined up, several other candidates from the next world are being rumoured for the drive. With the team's Italian and Scottish connections, it is thought that the hologrammatic replacement for Tuero if he continues his losing streak may be Vittorio Brambilla, Michele Alboreto or Colin McRae. One particularly brave English journalist has even mentioned Dan Wheldon...

Carabante: "It's not my fault!"
José Ramón Carabante is bemused at the idea of Adrián Campos buying out his stake in Hispania Racing, as if this will magically improve the team. "The car is, eh, 'ow you say, plug of bath," Carabante commented, "and the drivers are, eh, not good. Adrián is responsible for these drivers, eh, maybe is his fault..."

Wolf-PURE might have a job getting in this time...
Craig Pollock has been told by the F1RMGP Series Management that he may well be eating a pollock after his recent comment about Wolf-PURE joining the F1RMGP circus for 2016. He has also been told by none other than His Holiness HWNSNBM that he might want to concentrate his efforts on making that PURE engine a bit more powerful, as otherwise Chris Dagnall may look elsewhere for a drive next year...

HKS and Spyker are blowing hot air
The management at HKS have been laughed at after their comments that Stefan Grand Prix will have to get a podium in the next four races. With the team yet to score any points at all and with DNQs still comfortably outnumbering race starts, it is said that not even HWNSNBM could drag that car to a point. As for Spyker, any plans to build a 4.2-litre V12 engine for next year will come to nothing, even if they make it a diesel, as that will exceed both the maximum capacity and number of cylinders...

Marktin Brundell not seen in red light district
Such is the problem of having an uncannily close lookalike.

Anyway, on with the show...

[dinizintheoven]

Round 3: Montreal, Canada
Saturday, 16 May 2015

Has anyone noticed the links in these titles yet?



PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'26.443
2 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'27.105
3 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'27.414
4 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'27.591
5 –    34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'27.635
6 –    17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'27.723
7 –    42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'27.951
8 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'28.120

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'28.527
DNPQ – 36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'28.733
DNPQ – 31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'28.961
DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'29.305
DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'29.309
DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'29.670
DNPQ – 26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'30.418

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'30.550
DNPQ – 24 E. Tuero            Minardi        1'31.385
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'31.651
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'32.085
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'32.173
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'33.371
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'33.415

Pre-qualifying can be an unpleasant experience at the best of times, but when it's bucketing down with rain and with no prospects of improvement for the rest of the weekend, that only makes it worse. It's getting to the point where we can ignore the formality of both Ice Ones making it through pre-qualifying, though it's nowhere near as clear-cut for Polestar, even though they made it six successes out of six – ending up seventh and eighth, it was too close for comfort for the Swedish team. Also as expected, Enrico Bertaggia successfully pre-qualified his Minardi, with Esteban Tuero not only failing to do so, but languished in the bottom half of the DNPQs. Vitantonio Liuzzi also made it three out of three for him, leaving room for only two new faces in qualifying proper this time: Andrea Montermini for the reconstituted Pacific team, and Karun Chandhok, putting in a highly creditable performance for Spyker. This, of course, left Vincenzo Sospiri on the sidelines for Arrows, Tuero as mentioned, Gregor Foitek and Jean-Denis Délétraz for Spyker and Pacific, and double-DNPQ misery for SPAM, Stefan, FIRST, Hispania and Shekel; no surprises there, you'd say, as Emmanuel Collard was four tenths away from knocking Kasper Andersen into touch in a weekend where SPAM weren't on form from the start. Still, Christophe Bouchut's spectacular performance last time in Mexico should, by all rights, rescue them from this particular miserable ordeal for six races of the season at least...



QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'25.782
2 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'25.919
3 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'26.232
4 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'26.362
5 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'26.573
6 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'26.581
7 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'26.760
8 –    29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'27.235
9 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'27.293
10 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'27.455
11 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'27.683
12 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'27.848
13 –   34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'27.856

Code: Select all

14 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'27.896
15 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'27.980
16 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'28.031
17 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'28.037
18 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'28.114
19 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'28.166
20 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'28.205
21 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'28.255
22 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'28.250
23 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'28.639
24 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'28.734
25 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'28.824
26 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'28.911

Code: Select all

DNQ –  4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'30.154
DNQ –  30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'31.733

The rapidly changing but consistently rather moist conditions annihilated any performance difference that there might have been between the cars, allowing some star showings as well as others who fell further behind than might be expected. Undisputed king of the road was Eric van de Poele, showing he's actually no slouch behind the wheel of the F1RM despite a questionable start to his F1RMGP career. Adrian Sutil also took full advantage of the torrid conditions to line up alongside the Belgian on the front row of the grid. Gabriele Tarquini took third for current Constructors' Championship leaders SAAC, with both Super Aguris behind him – unusually with the Shinjinator in front of Yuji Ide. Jan Magnussen took sixth, Chris Dagnall seventh, wondering exactly where his team-mate had found all that speed, followed by... what's this? Paul Belmondo in a Simtek! Maybe, just maybe, today could rescue their season if he could pull off the kind of performance once associated with Marko Asmer (who's a long way back) or, further into history, Slim Borgudd. The Vikings couldn't quite believe what was happening - Þorvaldur Einarsson managing only ninth, Tommy Rustad eleventh, and between them... Vitantonio Liuzzi in the Arrows! Surely he'll get swamped at the start, but in weather such as this, anything can happen, and maybe he'll blast into the points positions. Proving the point that it wasn't all about power today, Hideki Noda slithered only to twelfth, beating Karun Chandhok in the much less powerful Spyker: your time is now, Karun, Spyker desperately need this to be turned into a point or two.

Kicking off the second half was Sebastian Hohenthal in the Polestar, with Enrtico Bertaggia lagging a bit from his pre-qualifying time to record 15th, but beating the 1'28 barrier at least. Marco Apicella's heroics in Mexico were blunted as he lined up 16th on the grid, beating Philippe Alliot by six thousandths of a second; AGS have rather bigger worries at the wrong end of the grid, though. Kasper Andersen, starting 18th, will be hoping to stay out of trouble in this race; with an underperforming trio of fast cars behind him in Luca Badoer, Fabrizio Barbazza and Marko Asmer behind him, though, he'll have to be extra-careful not to "do a Maldonado". Finally, bringing up the rear, Michael Ammermüller was the faster of the two ATS Rials, Pedro Chaves gambled on a dry setup and slithered his way to a painfully poor 23rd, and it was left to Alex Yoong, Andrea Montermini and Joachim Winkelhock to round off the grid. The fall guys, over a second behind the time required to knock the nicotine-fuelled German off the grid, were Olivier Beretta, and – in a shocking indictment of Simtek's driver recruitment policy – Domenico Schiattarella, racking up three DNQs out of three, loading all the pressure on Paul Belmondo to keep the Simtek team out of pre-qualifying. All bets may already be off on the first driver to be sacked this season, though...



RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          69   1h 42'33.266
2 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           69   1h 42'58.971
3 –    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           69   1h 43'06.423
4 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        69   1h 43'26.527
5 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         69   1h 43'49.317
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           69   1h 43'53.717
7 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         68   + 1 lap             
8 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   68   + 1 lap             
9 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        68   + 1 lap             
10 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           68   + 1 lap             
11 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         68   + 1 lap             
12 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       68   + 1 lap             
13 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            68   + 1 lap             

Code: Select all

14 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   68   + 1 lap             
15 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        67   + 2 laps            
16 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          67   + 2 laps            
17 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       67   + 2 laps            
18 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           67   + 2 laps            
19 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        44   puncture            
20 –   34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         35   engine              
21 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       34   transmission                  
22 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       28   engine              
23 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         28   engine              
24 –   8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    10   crash               
25 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    10   crash               
26 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           3    puncture                                                                                        

It's anything but predictable, this championship, isn't it? And F1RM's dry spell at the front of the field continues for another race, though it wasn't for the lack of trying, or the lack of dry conditions. Thinking that his chances of victory were best achieved with a heavy fuel load and hence that bit of extra grip, Eric van de Poele loaded the F1RM with fuel, while Gabriele Tarquini and Adrian Sutil went for the light option. And, for the bulk of the race, it looked like the Belgian had got it right. Sutil lost places at the start, and although Tarquini took the lead, van de Poele swiped it back on lap 4 and pulled off into the distance. Something, somewhere, though, went wrong as Sutil pounded in some superb laps mid-race, and by the time he had to pit for fuel the last time, he ended up eight seconds ahead of the F1RM. Van de Poele seemed to throw in the towel as not only could he not challenge for the lead as Sutil streaked away, Gabriele Tarquini grabbed second place off him with nine laps to go. It's a podium for van de Poele, as well as instant unrejectification, but it could have been more; instead, it's Adrian Sutil who has taken his first F1RMGP victory, and is now tied for the top of the Drivers' Championship with Tarquini, with Forti also heading the way in the Constructors' Championship.

Jan Magnussen must be getting frustrated that he hasn't managed to win yet... despite the rawness of his new team, he does have the Koenigsegg engine behind him – hey, at least he beat his old team-mate for those miniature honours. Truth be told, Viking weren't really at the races today in conditions that should have suited them perfectly, but fifth does keep Þorvaldur Einarsson right up the sharp end of the title hunt, and passing Chris Dagnall on the penultimate lap for a couple of extra points wasn't too bad either. Dagnall had faded the same way as van de Poele did, after giving Magnussen plenty to think about for most of the race – that they'll be going head-to-head for the Apertura title in Monaco means Daggers will be screaming at the PURE engineers for more power as the European season starts. Seventh place went to Tommy Rustad, his first points of the season, but not – crucially, as Jonathan Legard would say – a step towards unrejectification. It took Þorvaldur six races, though, so despair not, Tommy. The final three points places went to Hideki Noda, Enrico Bertaggia and Luca Badoer – Bertaggia in the Minardi again beating one car from the "A" squadron, and the one who's techincally better rated at that. With Esteban Tuero being openly threatened with replacement, I wonder what will become of Badoer if he is regularly beaten by a Minardi? Or by two Minardis, if Tuero finds himself ousted in favour of a highly capable driver?

Vitantonio Liuzzi was kicking himself very hard after this race. He knew that this was a golden opportunity to score a point or two for Arrows, and he hasn't done it; the car is clearly miles better than, say, the SPAM – but at this rate it's the French team who will escape the Thursday afternoon trial by fire. Kasper Andersen finally got one over on his team-mate, the one who has actually scored for Polestar, but couldn't score himself, ending up twelfth after a titanic race-long battle with Philippe Alliot and Leyton House. And given that both of those were driving far more powerful cars, that's no mean feat. Marko Asmer will be wondering what's happened to his form since Ice One finally wrested his services away from the marauding Vikings; finishing two laps down, he might be taken back to Ahvenisto for a stern talking-to before the European season. He won't be quite as disheartened as Pedro Chaves, though; everything about his race weekend was as wrong as Adrian Sutil's was right, and now he knows the pain of being in the opposite car to an unusual winner, the way he used to inflict on Perry McCarthy. Still, it's Monaco next, one of his favoured races... watch this space. Joachim Winkelhock and Alex Yoong were the only two others to finish, Yoong in the Japanese Dome stone dead last.

It wasn't a good day for Japanese F1RMGP fans, all in all. A limp performance from Leyton House, Yoong finishing last, Marco Apicella eliminated after three laps with a puncture that shredded his tyre at Island hairpin after only three laps and which had run his race by the time he'd crawled to the other end of the circuit, and a highly undesireable Reject Of The Race for Super Aguri. What do you not do in this sport? Take your team-mate out, that's what. Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button have learned that on this circuit the hard way, so why, as Shinji Nakano and Yuji battled over sixth position at the end of the eleventh lap, did neither of them give an inch at the end of the final straight? Finally clashing at the chicane, Nakano was flung into the pit wall and Ide into the infamous Wall Of Champions. Ide had better hope that's an omen for the rest of the championship, as he can't afford this again. Super Aguri dropped from second in the Constructors' Championship table to sixth as a result of this crash, and that sealed Reject Of The Race for them. Amazingly, given the wet conditions, these two were the only crashes; engine problems took out Paul Belmondo, Sebastian Hohenthal and Karun Chandhok, two of whom desperately needed a good result here (and the Swede wouldn't have minded one either), Michael Ammermüller was too rough with his gearbox and (hammer)müllered it beyond recognition, claiming his race, and finally Andrea Montermini couldn't record a finish for Pacific, reducing his tyre to rubble at the Pits hairpin in a similar fashion to Apicella at the beginning of the race.

And so, the teams return to Europe for a thrash around the streets of Monaco. That also sees the start of the Women's European Cup, and the start of Vanina Ickx attempting to defend her title. Looking at the predicament Esteban Tuero is in, she may be glad at not getting the Minardi drive after all, instead getting to drive a Viking MJØLNER-03 that won both Main Series championships last year. Good things come to those who wait.



DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 =    12 A. Sutil            Forti          37
1 =    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           37
3 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         35
4 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        34
5 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    25
6 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20
7 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
8 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           16
9 =    5  M. Apicella         Dome           15
9 =    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           15
11 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           13
12 =   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
12 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        10

Code: Select all

14 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         6
15 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    5
16 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   4
14 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        2
15 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    Forti          55
2 –    SAAC           50
3 –    Viking         41
4 –    Ice One        36
5 –    F1RM           31
6 –    Super Aguri    30
7 –    Leyton House   24
8 –    Dome           15
9 =    SPAM           10
9 =    Minardi        10
11 –   Polestar       1

APERTURA – SEMI FINALS

(9) Nakano (DNF) v (5) Dagnall (6th)
(2) Magnussen (4th) v (6) Badoer (10th)

Chris Dagnall versus Jan Magnussen in the Apertura final, then. As it was all the way through the 2013 Drivers' Championship!



THE QUALIFYING CUP

Three races into the season; you all know how it works (25 points for pole, 18 points for second on the grid, etc) – let's take a look at the current standings, as we will every three races.

1. Einarsson 45; 2. Ide 40; 3. Chaves 35; 4. van de Poele 25; 5. Dagnall 24; 6. Sutil 22; 7=. Tarquini & Magnussen 19; 9. Badoer 16; 10. Nakano 13; 11. Apicella 12; 12=. Barbazza & Bouchut 8; 14=. Noda & Bertaggia 6; 16. Belmondo 4; 17. Liuzzi 1.

[FMecha]

From the business that is F1RWRS, J.O.U.R.N.A.L is back.

Match fixers sabotaging F1RM?

A rumor has been recently appearing suggesting that F1RM's performance decline were traced to match fixer organization that apparently is based in Vice City, USA. The fixers is said to work with a "certain team" and "a Japanese racing publication" (we're not sure which one for these two). No-one from F1RM is available for comment, sadly.

EXCLUSIVE: Shekel car was based on Formula Gran Turismo car

The test version of the Formula Gran Turismo (specifiation FGT04) in it's original glory

A recently sacke engineer from Shekel Racing has revealed to us that the car was sightly based on the Formula Gran Turismo (pictured). To J.O.U.R.N.A.L, the mysterious engineer said this to us:

"Aerodynamically, both Shekel Aleph and Polyphony Formula Gran Turismo (chassis specification FGT04) are somewhat similar"

Indeed, when a reporter from this very magazine have a grid walk during last race's weekend, he noticed a similiarity between Aleph and FGT04. Shekel Racing declined to comment, however.

[pasta_maldonado]

SHEKEL TO QUIT F1RMGP AT YEAR'S END; NEW ENTRANT?
After a poor start to the year, Shekel racing are rumoured to be pulling out of F1RMGP at the end of the year. And by a 'poor start', we mean more DNPQ's than you could fit on a plate and uncontrollable mirth originating from every person with a functioning mouth up and down the pit lane. Tallula Shekelslike's father is rumoured to be wanting to cut funding to the Israelian operation because it is 'making the family look like wazzocks with more money than sense', and if things carry on the way they are, Shekel will have a record worse than the shameful David Price, and an angry Icelandic fellow throwing things which are used to build houses at the Shekel team after the Grand Reversal. Sources inside the team claim that Tallula "doesn't know what the f*** she's doing", that she constantly "shops for shoes", and that she once fired a man because he dared to criticise her decision to paint things pink.

If the team do indeed quit the F1RMGP circus, the strangely coherent madman at the helms of the series are unlikely to let that vacant grid slot stay vacant. Here we have assesed some of the favourites to apply for the garage in the wake of a Shekel pull-out:

1) DGNgneering
If the rumours about Chris Dagnall being about as unhappy as a Welshman who's been told he can't keep sheep at the Firm are true, than the arrival of DGNgneering in the paddock is a very real possibility. The British squad has won the F1RWRS driver's and contructor's titles for the last two years, thanks to the efforts of Chris' son, Mark, and are set to challenge for this year's titles too. Dagnall driving for the team would be a given, but the second seat is anyone's guess.
Chances: 9/10, if Shekel pull out of course...

2) Plus One Group
You knew this was coming, didn't you. After being linked with so many people and so many series in the last couple of months, it comes as no surprise that Luke Knight's Plus One Group have been linked to a garage in the F1RMGP. But for once, it appears they have a valid case, as the apparently scandulous rumours of a Pole Star entry (Plus One Group's previosu incarnation) attrated serious interest from the real Polestar, and the fact that they ahve entered the Women's European Cup for this year. Luke Knight was in France overseeing the cycling arm of Plus One, wen we contacted him and told him about the rumours. "Of course I'd be delighted to join" he said, will supping some Foster's "[Alasdair] Lindsay and [Scuderia] Alitalia have proved that you can move sideways from the RWRS to F1RMGP, so I see no reason why we couldn't manage it as well. But of course, it all depends on the overlord's agreement." The engine supply might come from Lancia, given that Lancia supply Plus One's F3RWRS team. Any Plus One team would of course be branded as Foster's Good Call Racing, but time will tell if it is a good call.
Chances: 7/10, Herrmann Mann would bring some welcome craziness to the F1RMGP circus

[FMecha]

RWRS Update always plays up the chances of Plus One Group if they hear a team is pulling out. Just like Joe Saward and Liuzzi. Better ignore it.

(FYI: Captain Prisoner is, as I say again, a parody of Captain Hammer. )