F1RMGP 2015: the Women's European Cup v2.0

[the Masked Lapwing]

Er, Jimmy, who's this woman in the second car?

Buggered if I know, but she was the only one who answered my ad in the paper.

Great, so you let her drive the car anyway. Speaking of which, I thought you knew how to build decent cars?

Yeah, those Nissans were bloody brilliant weren't they? Besides, I couldn't build it, we had to buy a Minardi. It was all I could afford.

I knew there was a reason I let you call it Rosenforth. I'll go apologise to Emma for giving her a crapbox.

Psst, John, can you do me a favour? Can you give this to Emma...?

Oh go grow a pair. You're in your thirties now, do it yourself! You don't need me helping you through life.

[dinizintheoven]

Well, it's becoming increasingly clear that we went the wrong way with the selction of our chassis. The car simply isn't good enough... and next year we must hope to secure a better chassis.

There was never that much of a problem with the SAC8 - down on power it may have been with that clattery old Judd engine, but Pedro Chaves managed to squeeze a second and four thirds out of it, and all this against the likes of the Dagnalls, Einarssons, Magnussens and Ides of this world...

...also, next year, the SAAC9 won't be available, because it doesn't have a blown engine... don't forget that. Ditto this year's Minardi.

I thought I upgraded Kleinschmidt. She may be replaced mid seadon

You did. What's more, Jutta Kleinschmidt was one of the higher-rated drivers of last season and still didn't get the job done. I think she may be allergic to this championship. Still, wait and see what happens next time in Belgium...

[FMecha]

This post is in-character, telling some additional guys behind Psycho Soldiers team here.

Beside Ai the Witch, who's working behind the mysterious, witchcraft-driven Psycho Soldiers, a David Price chassis user?

Met Ryou the Dragon, Ai's team assistant - often clad in an armored suit. He is the "technical" guy of this team - indeed, he is the technical director in the team. Not only he did technical work in this series, as well as the Life GP series in 1991, he also built a secret time travel device so the Psycho Soldiers squad can travel between 2015 and 1991, the "current" years F1RMGP:WEC and Life GP series are held, respectively. (Oh, and the team's headquarters are protected secret - it is rumored that their HQ is hidden in the underground, buried somewhere around Tokyo, Japan )

Is there any more? Dany Bahar, having thrown out of the sport - with Keith Wiggins' successful "backroom coup" to restore Pacific Grand Prix in the main F1RMGP series, ousting him (and Tony Fernandes) and throwing out Fondmetal Team Malaysia from the sport in process, now works for Psycho Soldiers. He knew the secret base, but if someone tries to ask it where the secret base is located, he won't answer. He often swore at the paddock, for some reason, however, and rumors is that he worked secretly to plan a backroom coup to oust Ai and Ryou and creating yet another team for next year.

Ai's "slaves" Nobuhiko Yazaki and Yuki Yoshino drove for Psycho Soldiers in Life GP Series in 1991. Yazaki mainly do some technical work, often with Ryou, while Yoshino - one of 1991 LGPS championship contenders usually chats with the team's drivers in this series, Pippa Mann and Katherine Legge, usually to ask for feedback for internal use, on Ai's behalf. (She also silently tested the DPR-01)

Lastly, the team also made deals with former F1RGP2C and RTCC driver Robert Anderson and former F1 driver, as well as "Operation 10-49" target Alexander Wurz. They hold some minor stakes of the team.

[dr-baker]

This post is in-character, telling some additional guys behind Psycho Soldiers team here.

Lastly, the team also made deals with... former F1 driver, as well as "Operation 10-49" target Alexander Wurz. They hold some minor stakes of the team.

Lemme guess - his minority shareholding would be 10.49% of the team?

[FMecha]

This post is in-character, telling some additional guys behind Psycho Soldiers team here.

Lastly, the team also made deals with... former F1 driver, as well as "Operation 10-49" target Alexander Wurz. They hold some minor stakes of the team.

Lemme guess - his minority shareholding would be 10.49% of the team?

The shareholdings are broken down into those:

76% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
15.20% by Anderson
10.49% by Wurz

[DemocalypseNow]

This post is in-character, telling some additional guys behind Psycho Soldiers team here.

Lastly, the team also made deals with... former F1 driver, as well as "Operation 10-49" target Alexander Wurz. They hold some minor stakes of the team.

Lemme guess - his minority shareholding would be 10.49% of the team?

The shareholdings are broken down into those:

76% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
15.20% by Anderson
10.49% by Wurz

The five of them combined own 152% of the company?

[pasta_maldonado]

The shareholdings are broken down into those:

76% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
15.20% by Anderson
10.49% by Wurz

The five of them combined own 152% of the company?

Maybe he meant this:

34% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
10.49% by Wurz
5.20% by Anderson

[FMecha]

The shareholdings are broken down into those:

76% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
15.20% by Anderson
10.49% by Wurz

The five of them combined own 152% of the company?

Maybe he meant this:

34% by Ai (founder)
34% by Ryou (co-founder)
16.31% by Bahar
10.49% by Wurz
5.20% by Anderson

Pasta, sorry, you're right. My maths can be rejectful at times

[dinizintheoven]

Round 4: Spa-Francorchamps, Belgium
Friday, 3 July 2015



QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            2'07.763
2 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            2'08.946
3 –    1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            2'10.291
4 –    5  D. Patrick        Restov                2'11.473
5 –    77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   2'11.680
6 –    6  N. Lindgren       Restov                2'11.878
7 –    4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          2'12.412
8 –    16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             2'12.826
9 –    15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          2'13.480
10 –   3  J. Kleinschmidt   Autodynamics          2'14.077
11 –   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      2'14.085
12 –   24 G. Amati          Minardivas            2'14.416
13 –   10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            2'14.498

Code: Select all

14 –   39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            2'14.658
15 –   40 D. Galica         SonicSport            2'14.894
16 –   87 K. Ihara          Super Reppu!          2'14.909
17 –   23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            2'15.597
18 –   90 L. Tander         Team Australia        2'15.966
19 –   55 V. Piria          Filles sur Roues      2'16.284
20 –   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          2'16.381
21 –   88 Y. Mitsui         Super Reppu!          2'17.470
22 –   78 K. Mikami         Foster's Good Women   2'18.084
23 –   91 S. Reid           Team Australia        2'18.743
24 –   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       2'19.799
25 –   17 J. Mihara         Shell JLD             2'20.459
26 –   97 P. Mann           Psycho Soldiers       2'20.653

Code: Select all

DID NOT QUALIFY
---------------
DNQ –  11 K. Andrews        Rosenforth            2'24.814
DNQ –  8  P. Cow            West Cliff            2'26.370

Call it trial by water if you like. Thursday afternoon at Spa was... how can we put this? So relentlessly wet it made the 1991 Australian Grand Prix look like a mild shower. But out onto the track went the fearless women of the WEC, qualifying times were posted, and to nobody's surprise, she wit the most experience of ridiculously low-grip situations prevailed. Alice Powell will have experienced a few typical English summers in her meagre years as well, so she ended up second, and if Vanina Ickx was roared on by her home crowd then she could neither see nor hear them, but they were there anyway. Danica Patrick took fourth, almost four seconds off the leader... it was one of those days, and on such days do certain drivers put their heads above the horizon: step forward Cyndie Allemann, for what must be her best WEC performance ever in the fierce rain. Nettan Lindgren, Simona de Silvestro and Sabine Schmitz followed, and by this time we're already five seconds off the pace, or as it would be put in F1, into the Caterham-Marussia-HRT zone. And we haven't even finished the top ten yet, which further contained Angela Cope and Jutta Kleinschmidt on row five, the German either having a markedly improved showing, or everyone else was a lot worse than usual. The randomising effect of the weather also put Rahel Frey, Giovanna Amati and Emma Kimiläinen into the top half of the grid, not something we'd usually see.

SonicSport were one of the teams to take a dive, Susie Wolff and Divina Galica lining up 14th and 15th, with Keiko Ihara in 16th the last driver to beat the 2'15 barrier... we are really getting into some extremely rejectful lap times here. Lella Lombardi, at least, didn't feel the effects of the cold and wet conditions physically, but having no grip whatsoever did her cause no good and she ended up 17th, with Leanne tander in 18th the only other driver to crack 2'16. Vicky Piria and Amber Cope recorded times in the 2'16s to take the tenth row of the grid, and the times continued to rise ever further... Yuri Mitsui made a 2'17, Kazumi Mikami and Samantha Reid made 2'18s, Katherine Legge in the admittedly awful David Price could manage no more than a 2'19 and the last two qualifiers, Junko Mihara and Pippa Mann, recorded times of two minutes and 20 seconds.

Call that rejectful? Look who's at the back again. And look at those times. Incidentally, the lap record for a Formula 3 car round this circuit is in the 2'13s, admittedly on a dry track, but seriously...



RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            44   1h 39'38.721
2 –    1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            44   1h 40'48.504
3 –    16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             43   + 1 lap                                             
4 –    4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          43   + 1 lap                                             
5 –    40 D. Galica         SonicSport            43   + 1 lap                                             
6 –    24 G. Amati          Minardivas            43   + 1 lap                                             
7 –    39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            43   + 1 lap                                             
8 –    10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            42   + 2 laps                                            
9 –    23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            42   + 2 laps                                            
10 –   90 L. Tander         Team Australia        42   + 2 laps                                            
11 –   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          42   + 2 laps                                            
12 –   78 K. Mikami         Foster's Good Women   42   + 2 laps                                            
13 –   88 Y. Mitsui         Super Reppu!          42   + 2 laps                                            

Code: Select all

14 –   17 J. Mihara         Shell JLD             41   + 3 laps                                            
15 –   2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            36   crash                                               
16 –   97 P. Mann           Psycho Soldiers       35   transmission                                        
17 –   77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   23   collision                                           
18 –   6  N. Lindgren       Restov                23   collision                                           
19 –   55 V. Piria          Filles sur Roues      18   transmission                                        
20 –   15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          15   collision                                           
21 –   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      15   collision                                           
22 –   91 S. Reid           Team Australia        13   collision                                           
23 –   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       13   collision                                           
24 –   3  J. Kleinschmidt   Autodynamics          11   transmission                                        
25 –   87 K. Ihara          Super Reppu!          6    crash                                               
26 –   5  D. Patrick        Restov                4    transmission                                         

And so it was that on the Friday, the rain relented... slightly. The drivers at least had a chance of seeing where they were going. Even so, there was nearly a moment of true catastrophic rejectfulness on the start line as Michèle Mouton fluffed her start and slithered alarmingly towards the pit wall. Alice Powell scampered away, Vanina Ickx and Danica Patrick got a bit too close for comfort behind them... but all 26 cars made it round La Source. Three laps later, Patrick was sidelined with a broken gearbox, Mouton pulled a daring move on her young challenger, and started to pull away as if Thor had seen fit to smile on his dad's shining golden chariots and remove the wet weather only for those chosen ones who happened to be driving them. It looked like that was that. Problems, retirements and crashes due to some insanely rash overtaking attempts for the conditions reduced the size of the field... but it was mainly towards the back. The most significant of those collisions was between Nettan Lindgren and Cyndie Allemann, running fourth and fifth at the time, and which – had they held onto those positions – would have been Allemann's best result by a country mile. Unfortunately she was too ambitious in trying to overtake the experienced Swede and the resultant prang took them both out. And that should have settled Reject Of The Race there and then...

Only it didn't, because far worse wad to come.

Michèle Mouton stopped for fuel for the second time. Alice Powell led the race, but Mouton was catching fast and Powell had to pit again. She could not hope to win this one, although with vanina Ickx a long way further back, second place was in the bag. Or was it? Powell had her own moment of distress while trying to lap the painfully slow Kazumi Mikami, all at sea in a very literal way. Mikami jinked left at the exit of the Bus Stop, Powell swerved dramatically and clouted the wall so hard that nobody thought the car could survive. But, somehow, it did, with no suspension or sidepod damage. Meanwhile, Mouton was catching fast...

...oh, Michèle, why did you just overcook it there?

Pieces of gold-coloured carbon fibre littered the track at Les Fagnes. Eight laps to go, and Michèle Mouton had thrown away a certain win, and with it, usurped Cyndie Allemann for Reject Of The Race. News came through Alice Powell's radio, she was able to pit, take on fuel, have her tyres changed, and have her nails painted ready for the podium ceremony, and still come out in the lead. Which she did, a whole minute ahead of local favourite Vanina Ickx, and that's how it stayed. Gratefully accepting the trophy with her sparkly red nails on display, it stretched her championship lead from 30 points to 45, and secured her the Apertura (although that was done and dusted after only four laps anyway). And just as pleased was Sabine Schmitz – Queen of the 'Ring she may be, but she's no mug at Spa either, despite ending a lap down, such was the pace of the leaders; her first podium in this series has resulted in an instant unrejectification.

Behind the top three was an epic battle for the lower points. Simona de Silvestro, Divina Galica, Giovanna Amati and Susie Wolff trundled round keeping themselves out of trouble, all four on a cruise-and-collect mission for their teams in conditions where little else was possible. Except, nobody had informed Emma Kimiläinen of that script. Sure, she'd started in mid-table, and given the equipment at her disposal wasn't too likely to be much of a threat and was more likely to drop down the field, as the crashes mounted up and she kept her nose clean, she started to smell blood. That smell became ever stronger when the Allemann/Lindgren collision suddenly thrust her into 11th place. Spurred on by the thought that even a David Price can score points in this series, the Finn passed Amber Cope – the American really not used to racing in the rain – and took tenth. A point for Rosenforth! Who'd have thought it? But she wanted more. She got it as Michèle Mouton's ridiculously rejectful self-imposed demise promoted her to ninth. And all this time, Lella Lombardi was ahead in a much more powerful Forti... but Kimiläinen was catching. And on the last lap, she made a desperate lunge, made it stick and that was that. Eighth place and four points for the team in the lowest-ranked garage. Lombardi was annoyed, having scored her only half a point in F1 in similar circumstances, but that day in 1975 the race had been forcibly stopped early... this one wasn't. And, finally, with Mouton's crash, this also promoted Leanne Tander into the points – just the one, but for Team Australia, who have little resources to spread round (hence why they had to get hold of a car from a defunct team), this'll be gold dust. It also leaves Super Reppu! as the only team with a blank scoresheet at this stage.

Only 14 cars finished, still over half the field, which is amazing considering how many incidents there were. The major disasters were the three massive collisions – Reid/Legge right at the back on lap 14, Frey/the other Cope two laps later, Lindgren/Allemann up front on lap 24 – along with the aforementioned Michèle Mouton, who'd had an unforced error of Mika Häkkinen propertions, and flung her gloves away in a similar manner. As for the rest, Keiko Ihara was the only other driver to wreck her car, again in a moment of madness, driving straight on at La Source... that'll go down well with her notoriously trigger-happy team bosses. And then there was Danica Patrick, Jutta Kleinschmidt, Vicky Piria and Pippa Mann, all in various positions up and down the field, but all sidelined with transmission trouble.



DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Maria Teresa de Filippis Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            93
2 –    1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            48
3 =    6  N. Lindgren       Restov                38
3 =    4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          38
5 –    39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            36
6 –    40 D. Galica         SonicSport            35
7 =    2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            25
7 =    16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             25
9 –    5  D. Patrick        Restov                23
10 –   24 G. Amati          Minardivas            14
11 –   15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          10
12 –   23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            8
13 –   10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            4 

Code: Select all

14 =   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      2
14 =   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       2
16 =   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          1
16 =   77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   1
16 =   90 L. Tander         Team Australia        1

TEAMS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Bertha Benz Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    West Cliff Racing / SPAM                   93
2 –    Scuderia Alitaliana / Viking               73
3 –    SonicSport / ATS Rial                      71
4 –    Restov Racing / Super Aguri                61
5 –    Autodynamics Simtek Grand Prix / Simtek    38
6 –    Shell JLD Motorsport / F1RM                25
7 –    Scuderia Minardivas / Forti                22
8 –    Cope-ersucar / Spyker                      11
9 –    Rosenforth Engineering / Minardi           4
10 =   Filles sur Roues / Stefan                  2
10 =   Psycho Soldiers / David Price              2
12 =   Foster's Good Women with Plus One / SAC    1
12 =   Team Australia / Monteverdi                1

APERTURA: FINAL

(8) Patrick (DNF) v (10) Powell (1st)

In the end it was almost similar to the performance that Vanina Ickx produced last year. This time it's three wins and a second – although, it should have been less, if only her rivals didn't keep throwing it all away...

...it's also a trophy awarded to someone driving a SPAM PD-12, don't forget – hardly the most competitive car there's ever been!

Who will triumph in the Clausura, and also in the final standings...

[SuperAguri]

Mika Salo checking the job pages
After yet another poor race in which Super Reppu! were the only team not to score a single point, Mika Salo was seen checking the job pages in Autosport. He said he wasn't lookng but our cameraman saw him circling jobs. It is clear his days are numbered but who might replace him and will Yuri Mitsui be safe in the aftermath?

Dinizintheoven : Which drivers that were unlovingly left at the start of the season could I swap Yuri Mitsui for? Whilst I look for another female Japanese driver.

[dinizintheoven]

Dinizintheoven : Which drivers that were unlovingly left at the start of the season could I swap Yuri Mitsui for? Whilst I look for another female Japanese driver.

Here are those who didn't get a drive and who I worked out stats for:

Hej. (thrusts boobs at SuperAguri)

Bonjour. (flutters eyelashes)

Olá. (is Brazilian, doesn't need to do anything)

Och aye. (brandishes broken Buckfast bottle)

Yeeeeee-haaaaaw! (fires guns repeatedly)

Helów. (sucks seductively on balut egg)

¡Hola! (looks confused at car controls)

(in a very posh English accent) Top of the morning to you. (tries to do an Irish dance, falls over)

¿Que? (don't bother)

[FMecha]

Mika Salo checking the job pages
After yet another poor race in which Super Reppu! were the only team not to score a single point, Mika Salo was seen checking the job pages in Autosport. He said he wasn't lookng but our cameraman saw him circling jobs. It is clear his days are numbered but who might replace him and will Yuri Mitsui be safe in the aftermath?

You did not realize we lost a dossier from Monaco GP, Mr Salo? Apparently someone from our team sold a photocopied dossier containg our secret data to Sunshine-Daihatsu F1RWRS Team.

Ai the Witch and Reiko Megumi will comment shortly.

[dr-baker]

The gap between the two West Cliff drivers in qualifying - has that ever happened before in real life? And with the SPAM PD-12, "hardly the most competitive car in the field," West Cliff are still leading the Teams' Championship as effectively a one-car operation. All other teams must be embarrassed...

[dinizintheoven]

The gap between the two West Cliff drivers in qualifying - has that ever happened before in real life?

Sebastian Vettel and Chanoch Nissany never had a chance to be team-mates...

[SuperAguri]

Salo and thanks for all the fish
Mika Salo has left Supper Reppu! taking the brunt of the blame for the teams poor performance so far, they are the only team to have not scored any points in the series. Mika Salo read out a prepared statement "I fully take the blame for the teams poor performance, we lost the Super Aguri works package and had to take a semi works Dome package which we have not taken full advantage of. I hope the team can score points over the next few races and I would like to say good riddance to this farce, Mr Richer makes Hitler look like a salvation army collector, no you can't touch me, arrrghhh.", Mr Richer came on, "We thank Mika Salo for his services, the Super Reppu! team would not have seem the lack of success they had without him, in the mean time I would like to bring on his replacement, Ukyou Katayama!". Ukyou comes on, "Hello, hello. I am proud to be give the chance to run a team, I have had no experience but if my Tyrrell days have tought me anything is that things will get better before they get worse, much worse. We have parted company with Yuri Mitsui again, as she has not shown the talent required, so we look very hard, very hard indeed at the talents of the female talent that is out there, and although Natacha Gachnang made a couple of compelling cases for taking her, we just could not afford her wage bill, Carmen Jordá did have the looks to sell sponsor space but was a bit clueless in the car, so we have plumped for Michele Bumgarner as we hope we can pass her off as a Japanese driver as long as no one asks her name. Thank you and see you at the next race.

Bumgarner replaces Mitsui
As announced, subject to F1RMGP approval, Michele Bumgarner will replace Yuri Mitsui as the second driver, it is hoped that Bumgarner the first non Japanese driver to drive for the Super Reppu! team will be able to help them with scoring points.

Super Reppu! laugh off claims of stolen data
Mr Richer had a laughing fit, after claims that Sunshine Daihatsu has Supper Reppu! team data, he said "hahaha, you kill me, if Sunshine Daihatsu did have our data, it might be the reason why the team is so bad this season. We would have done better if we stole the data for last years car as this years Dome car is a bit stiff and wooden compared to the Dome chassis the men have."

I picked Bumgarner as she was 84 points, as Yuri Mitsui with her upgrades was 85 points, I am hoping I can do a straight swop and spend the one point I have in difference on Bumgarners skill.

[dinizintheoven]

"...konnichi-wa...?"

[Nuppiz]

Bah, a bad race again. Now where's my sherry?

Bumgarner... sounds like a cheap version of Baumg...*BANG* *gets knocked unconscious by a papaya*

Say, that was some damn good sherry... never had a hangover like this! Oh my head...

[FMecha]

Finnish money-laundering gang alleged to fund racing team

A Finnish money laundering gang has been rumored to fund Mika Salo's Super Reppu racing team that currently competes in F1RMGP Women's European Cup. The money laundering gang is reported to specializing in match-fixing, operation of illegal gambling sites, and drug smuggling, in addition to money laundering. There are also reports of online piracy and automobile theft across Finland by the gang.

It is reported that the criminal organization operated an illegal motorsport betting site where many staff and journalists of a Japanese motorsport publication are required to bet for Super Reppu for all races. In addition, the gang is also reported to have links with Juventus boss Luciano Moggi. No-one from the team were available for comment.

Originally reported by J.O.U.R.N.A.L, Catalyst Media's motorsport publication

You haven't heard of what James Davies said on that?

We need more controversy.

[dinizintheoven]

Round 5: Zandvoort, Netherlands
Friday, 10 July 2015



QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            1'12.369
2 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            1'12.611
3 –    5  D. Patrick        Restov                1'13.420
4 –    1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            1'13.571
5 –    90 L. Tander         Team Australia        1'13.779
6 –    4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          1'13.807
7 –    87 K. Ihara          Super Reppu!          1'13.859
8 –    39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            1'13.964
9 –    6  N. Lindgren       Restov                1'13.976
10 –   40 D. Galica         SonicSport            1'14.051
11 –   88 M. Bumgarner      Super Reppu!          1'14.172
12 –   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       1'14.172
13 –   3  J. Kleinschmidt   Autodynamics          1'14.211

Code: Select all

14 –   16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             1'14.253
15 –   24 G. Amati          Minardivas            1'14.812
16 –   15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          1'14.844
17 –   91 S. Reid           Team Australia        1'14.883
18 –   77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   1'15.003
19 –   10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            1'15.208
20 –   23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            1'15.210
21 –   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      1'15.294
22 –   97 P. Mann           Psycho Soldiers       1'15.334
23 –   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          1'15.410
24 –   55 V. Piria          Filles sur Roues      1'16.080
25 –   17 J. Mihara         Shell JLD             1'16.121
26 –   78 K. Mikami         Foster's Good Women   1'16.648

Code: Select all

DID NOT QUALIFY
---------------
DNQ –  11 K. Andrews        Rosenforth            1'17.773
DNQ –  8  P. Cow            West Cliff            1'19.687

It's a sunny summer's day in the sand dunes of Zandvoort, the first such race round the old-school track since Alice Powell's parents were still at school (or so it seems). As it was at the famous old track at Spa, the old hand showed the youngster the way, i.e. Michèle Mouton beat Alice Powell to pole, but with them both cracking the 1'13 barrier by some considerable margin, you'd say the race might well be between these two (and they're the only two to have won so far this year). Danica Patrick might have other ideas, though, as will Vanina Ickx – they're on row two. Fifth, in a stunning performance, we find Leanne Tander – great news for Australia, great news for team boss Craig Gore, great news for anyone who laments the demise of Monteverdi in the Main Series; Fabrizio Barbazza did work wonders with that car last year, don't forget. Equally determined to be noticed up the front was Keiko Ihara, having a fine day out for the rejuvenated Super Reppu! team – can they finally score points this race? We will see. Ihara finds herself between Simona de Silvestro and Susie Wolff, experienced drivers both, as are Nettan Lindgren and Divina Galica, taking up row five, both of whom probably remember this circuit first time round. Eleventh, on her belated return to the series, is Michele "I can't believe she's not Japanese" Bumgarner, who is already looking like a better bet than Yuri Mitsui at Super Reppu!, and joining her on row six – there's Katherine Legge in the dreadfully slow David Price, hoping to prove that the result at Silverstone was no fluke and this car can be wrestled to a second result. Jutta Kleinschmidt, I suppose, deserves a mention for getting in the top half of the grid, seeing as that's been hardly a regular occurrence...

So Sabine Schmitz didn't have the greatest of days on the Thursday – Zandvoort is a small circuit after all, almost the polar opposite of the Nürburgring. Giovanna Amati, Angela Cope and Samantha Reid rounded out the 1'14s – the Cope twins are in Spykers, don't forget, so there'll be a Dutch contingent cheering for the orange cars, though given that they're driven by a couple of NASCAR drivers who go in circles and turn left, that might put a dampener on their enthusiasm, even if Angela has scored points twice in this series and has been the dominant sister by a long way. Cyndie Allemann's good luck at Spa didn't last, she's in 18th, with Emma Kimiläinen in the ailing Rosenforth Minardi and Lella Lombardi on row ten. Then we find the real stragglers – both Filles sur Roues were mired in the twenties, unable to do much with the ponderous Stefan, Pippa Mann and Amber Cope were the poor relations between them that were thrashed by their respective team-mates, and it was an all-Japanese back row, though neither was a Super Reppu! driver; Junko Mihara and Kazumi Mikami were those who were to get a fright as their positions were revealed over the radio. Not that there was too much frightening going on, because I need not mention who was at the back and who dropped out of race day, yet again...and by a massive margin.



RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            72   1h 33'36.430
2 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            72   1h 33'51.482
3 –    5  D. Patrick        Restov                72   1h 34'29.556
4 –    87 K. Ihara          Super Reppu!          71   + 1 lap                                                     
5 –    6  N. Lindgren       Restov                71   + 1 lap                                                     
6 –    40 D. Galica         SonicSport            71   + 1 lap                                                     
7 –    39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            71   + 1 lap                                                     
8 –    90 L. Tander         Team Australia        71   + 1 lap                                                     
9 –    16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             71   + 1 lap                                                     
10 –   3  J. Kleinschmidt   Autodynamics          71   + 1 lap                                                     
11 –   4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          71   + 1 lap                                                     
12 –   91 S. Reid           Team Australia        70   + 2 laps                                               
13 –   10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            70   + 2 laps                                               

Code: Select all

14 –   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          69   + 3 laps                                               
15 –   97 P. Mann           Psycho Soldiers       69   + 3 laps                                               
16 –   55 V. Piria          Filles sur Roues      69   + 3 laps                                               
17 –   17 J. Mihara         Shell JLD             69   + 3 laps                                               
18 –   78 K. Mikami         Foster's Good Women   68   + 4 laps                                               
19 –   15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          62   spun off                                                    
20 –   77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   43   transmission                                                
21 –   1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            36   puncture                                                    
22 –   23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            35   crash                                                       
23 –   24 G. Amati          Minardivas            31   electrical                                                  
24 –   88 M. Bumgarner      Super Reppu!          15   puncture                                                    
25 –   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       13   crash                                                       
26 –   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      8    crash

Michèle Mouton has two trophies on her radar, so it seems. The Maria Teresa de Filippis Cup, for winning this championship outright – but also the Jean-Pierre Jabouille Cup for gaining all her points via wins – which she is still on for. However, as it stands, it should be either one or the other, because Alice Powell is still on form and when it's not her day to win, second will do. Truth be told, for 40 of the 72 laps, the two of them were firmly welded together, Mouton usually in front but not always, and a gap of less than a second was the usual situation – all bar a few laps when Powell pitted for fuel earlier than Mouton. It was only at this almost two-thirds stage that Mouton started to edge out the lead, leaving the youngster in a clear second, with Danica Patrick unable to do anything about either of them, but well clear of the chasing pack, and so those three made up the podium.

If anything, though, the race for fourth was far more intense and far more competitive. After about ten laps, a four-car pack of Susie Wolff, Divina Galica, Keiko Ihara and Nettan Lindgren had broken away from those behind them, with Danica Patrick scampering off ahead, and for the vast majority of the race they stuck together, even rejoining round about where they did after the pit-stops had evened themselves out. Wolff held fifth initially, which became fourth as Vanina Ickx had been forced to pit on lap 10 for reasons which nobody could quite work out, with her team-mate hanging on just behind, and Ihara and Lindgren duelling for sixth, with the Swede usually ahead. Nobody could quite believe where Super Reppu!'s form had suddenly come from – after 15 laps, Michele Bumgarner was also running 8th, and holding off the chasing pack, but an overly ambitious overtake-that-never-was from Leanne Tander saw the Aussie have to pit for a new nose and a shard of carbon fibre shred Bumgarner's tyre to oblivion within the next three laps. Three wheels on her wagon saw her race run. Possibly spurred on by the loss of the double points finish, and knowing that the team's performance was all on her shoulders, Ihara refused to buckle under the pressure, developed the kamikaze spirit and, once all the pit stops were done, set about beating her opposition with a series of moves that Kamui Kobayashi would have applauded roundly. Nettan Lindgren was the first to be disposed of, and the SonicSport ATS Rials lay ahead. 50 laps gone, Ihara pounced on Divina Galica for fifth. This was enough to get her out of reject status. 54 laps down, Susie Wolff was made to look more like a puppy. This was enough for instant unrejectification anyway. She was already in fourth before inevitably being lapped by the leaders – Danica Patrick wasn't, so this was the best result she could have hoped for, and was cheered over the line by the team and by Michele Bumgarner, who by all right should also have been on the scoresheet. There were tears of joy and relief, and despite missing the podium, the team cracked open a bottle of carbonated sake to celebrate with, because it was a bit like a victory for them at this stage.

So, to eighth – the next block, and would you believe it, it's Leanne Tander – the recovery drive she made back to this position after taking out Michele Bumgarner and reducing herself to dead last definitely rescued her from Reject Of The Race; it's her best result so far, but it could have been more. Sabine Schmitz could only manage ninth, and Jutta Kleinschmidt beat team-mate Simona de Silvestro for the last point – de Silvestro had been fighting with Tander for eighth in the early stages of the race. Two laps down, and thrashed by her team-mate, you'd have to say, having had no problems at all, was Samantha Reid; she was stuck with Emma Kimiläinen for company in the slow Rosenforth Minardi. Three down were Amber Cope, Pippa Mann, Vicky Piria and Junko Mihara, leaving only Kazumi Mikami, who had a wretched weekend, dead last and four laps down.

But even Mikami can't take the award nobody wants. And neither do Rahel Frey and Katherine Legge, the first two retirements, both self-inflicted as they decided to examine the Dutch sand dunes a bit too closely; Legge had also had a bad start that threw her down to 18th by the first corner; you can't do that in a David Price and expect to prevail! Michele Bumgarner we have already covered, being the victim of Leanne Tander's hit-and-run incident. No, Reject Of The Race must go to Lella Lombardi, who performed much the same hatchet job on Vanina Ickx as Tander had done to Bumgarner. The champion was on the drive of her life; pitting on lap 7 for a reason nobody could work out, rejoining in 25th, ten laps later she was already in the points, and could have carved through those in front of her, most likely to challenge Danica Patrick for the podium, but this run was cut very short as she tried to lap Lombardi, and the hologrammatic Italian decided not to get out of the way. Confirmation has come through from Dr Francesca Rimmer, via a series of insults and snide grunts, that there were no glitches in the Hologram Projection Unit. It was Lomabrdi's fault entirely. This is, incidentally, why West Cliff are still leading the Teams' Championship despite effectively being a one-car operation; five races down, and Scuderia Alitaliana are still yet to get two cars to the chequered flag at any stage. To clear up the race, the final retirements were Cyndie Allemann with a box full of neutrals, and Angela Cope, who decided to bin it into the gravel trap and hand the better result for the day to her sister.

So, it's a second win for Michèle Mouton, Alice Powell still leading the Drivers' Championship by over two wins now, and we're going to another new-old track next time: Anderstorp, in Sweden.



DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Maria Teresa de Filippis Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    7  A. Powell         West Cliff            111
2 –    2  M. Mouton         Alitaliana            50
3 =    1  V. Ickx           Alitaliana            48
3 =    6  N. Lindgren       Restov                48
5 –    40 D. Galica         SonicSport            43
6 –    39 S. Wolff          SonicSport            42
7 =    4  S. de Silvestro   Autodynamics          38
7 =    5  D. Patrick        Restov                38
9 –    16 S. Schmitz        Shell JLD             27
10 –   24 G. Amati          Minardivas            14
11 –   87 K. Ihara          Super Reppu!          12
12 –   15 An. Cope          Cope-ersucar          10
13 –   23 L. Lombardi (H)   Minardivas            8

Code: Select all

14 –   90 L. Tander         Team Australia        5
15 –   10 E. Kimiläinen     Rosenforth            4 
16 =   54 R. Frey           Filles sur Roues      2
16 =   98 K. Legge          Psycho Soldiers       2
18 =   3  J. Kleinschmidt   Autodynamics          1
18 =   14 Am. Cope          Cope-ersucar          1
18 =   77 C. Allemann       Foster's Good Women   1

TEAMS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Bertha Benz Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    West Cliff Racing / SPAM                   111
2 –    Scuderia Alitaliana / Viking               98
3 –    Restov Racing / Super Aguri                86
4 –    SonicSport / ATS Rial                      85
5 –    Autodynamics Simtek Grand Prix / Simtek    39
6 –    Shell JLD Motorsport / F1RM                27
7 –    Scuderia Minardivas / Forti                22

Code: Select all

8 –    Super Reppu! / Dome                        12
9 –    Cope-ersucar / Spyker                      11
10 –   Team Australia / Monteverdi                5
11 –   Rosenforth Engineering / Minardi           4
12 =   Filles sur Roues / Stefan                  2
12 =   Psycho Soldiers / David Price              2
14 –   Foster's Good Women with Plus One / SAC    1

[FMecha]

We'll sideline Legge for next race for someone else - from the Jocke1's list in TOTB thread.

[pasta_maldonado]

Shite

Scheisse

[dinizintheoven]

We'll sideline Legge for next race for someone else - from the Jocke1's list in TOTB thread.

Quite possibly the most bizarre decision that will be made this season, but if you find a suitable replacement...

[pasta_maldonado]

We'll sideline Legge for next race for someone else - from the Jocke1's list in TOTB thread.

Quite possibly the most bizarre decision that will be made this season, but if you find a suitable replacement...

Would it be possible to replace Allemann with Legge?

[dinizintheoven]

We'll sideline Legge for next race for someone else - from the Jocke1's list in TOTB thread.

Quite possibly the most bizarre decision that will be made this season, but if you find a suitable replacement...

Would it be possible to replace Allemann with Legge?

That you can - and with Legge's 90 points to Allemann's 102 (after your adjustments), there's a 12-point margin to play with. So, Katherine, fancy a bit of driver tuition? Or might the mechanics want to get busy with their spanners?

Oh dear, Cyndie. That excellent result you threw away at Spa hasn't half cost you!

So, FMecha, who's it to be?

[FMecha]

So, FMecha, who's it to be?

We'll try that "bloke" Tomoko Igata.

[dinizintheoven]

Igata denied Reject Licence
It seems that there are plenty of female racers out there, but of all those that could be chosen, Ai The Witch inexplicably tried to pick Tomoko Igata, who has found some success in motorcycle racing but has absolutely no experience on four wheels. Sir Bernard Shekelslike has refused to issue her the required Reject Licence to race in the WEC, and suggests two things: that Psycho Soldiers opt for a driver who races cars instead of bikes, and also that someone out there should set up a MotoGP Rejects Championship, in which Igata would be granted a licence immediately, no questions asked.

So, Ai. You let Katherine Legge slip through your fingers even though she scored points for your team. Looking forward to Anderstorp, are you? I bet you a crate of sake that Katherine beats your new driver.

[pasta_maldonado]

Would it be possible to replace Allemann with Legge?

That you can - and with Legge's 90 points to Allemann's 102 (after your adjustments), there's a 12-point margin to play with. So, Katherine, fancy a bit of driver tuition? Or might the mechanics want to get busy with their spanners?

Oh dear, Cyndie. That excellent result you threw away at Spa hasn't half cost you!

So, FMecha, who's it to be?

Katherine Legge will race for Foster's Good Women (haha the irony) for the rest of the season

So, Ai. You let Katherine Legge slip through your fingers even though she scored points for your team. Looking forward to Anderstorp, are you? I bet you a crate of Foster's Gold that Katherine beats your new driver.

Yes Luke, I agree with der statement. Der ha der ha, Ai der Witch indeed! She couldn't scare eine mouse! Der ha! *swigs jagermeister* I bet you eine crate of Jagermiester that or Kat beats der pile or scheisse you pick just for her looks.

[FMecha]

Then we will try to return Legge to our team and try to replace Mann with Maria de Villota AGAIN.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

Then we will try to return Legge to our team and try to replace Mann with Maria de Villota AGAIN.

Again, are you serious. Dinizintheoven already said no to that

[dinizintheoven]

Has anyone actually worked out... who, or what, is this "Ai" that runs Psycho Soldiers? I always suspected that "AI" meant "Artificial Intelligence"... maybe "AI" needs rebooting. You know, stuck in an infinite loop and all that. Frannie, be a good sport and...

...put the meat cleaver down...

[WaffleCat]

I dont't think I can cope with Amber being slower than her sister even though they are twins...

[FMecha]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

[Onxy Wrecked]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

I heard it means love in Japanese!

[tommykl]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

I heard it means love in Japanese!

I think that may be in Mandarin Chinese, though it could be in Japanese as well.

[Onxy Wrecked]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

I heard it means love in Japanese!

I think that may be in Mandarin Chinese, though it could be in Japanese as well.

It depends on the strokes in both languages. In Chinese it also means Friendly and in Japanese it has the second meaning of Indigo.

[pasta_maldonado]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

Too late! You sacked her and we employed her!

[dinizintheoven]

"Ai" is a Japanese girl's name, Diniz. And we won't make any changes to driver lineup then - both Legge and Mann will stay.

Too late! You sacked her and we employed her!

What he said.

Better sort something out soon... Cyndie "what do you mean I'm underperforming?" Allemann is, of course, available.

[DemocalypseNow]

FMecha, this is why you were kicked out of F3RWRS...stop being so random and choose like the rest of us!!

[FMecha]

Deal on Cyndie then. But if that s**tbag still underperforms, we'll sack her again and choose a random driver.

[Nessafox]

After a long-a delibiration we hava-a decided our-a driver line-up-a. It-a will be Vanina Ickx and-a Simona De Silvestro!

It took you almost a year to get a government, now it takes you more than a year to decide previous years driver line-up? Bathplug you, you're ruining the sport!