The Ben Pon/Eric the Eel Olympic thread

[go_Rubens]

A possible nomination for ROTSWO for USA Hockey Teams? Women threw away the Gold in the last minute of normal time and the men meekly surrender Bronze.

What are yours ruby?

No, they won't win my nomination for ROTSWO. Both teams still did well to get to the top 4. I'll stick nationalistic though and say that the 'MURICAN MEDIA still deserves it for overhyping athletes that are quite honestly pieces of junk. The Speed Skating team on our side was pathetic, and we came out of it with only one medal in Sochi instead of many from the past Olympic Games. This interview was before the USA finally won a Speed Skating medal, but it explains a lot about my disdain for American sports (this is the same Dutch Speed Skating coach I referenced before):

m.youtube.com/watch?v=OUEZRDU-2OE

It's both funny and explains a lot about America. It's why if I'm an up and coming canoe paddler, I have life hard, as we canoe paddlers from the US don't get crap in terms of support except for coaches (hell, Fabien Lefevre has a hard time with the expenses, and he's a bloody world champion and Olympic medalist). It's like the Americans don't care for any sport but our dumbed down version of rugby baseball, and basketball and that's why the Olympic Team here doesn't support athletes very much. Because they can't really get the money, and the talent pool goes where the money is. You make onto the junior or senior national team in a canoe or kayak? They give you a t-shirt and a backpack. Good luck to you. See you in Lee Valley or Cardiff or wherever in GB the first World Cup race is!

[watka]

I think Vladimir Putin is ROTSWO as he tried to use the Olympics as a political tool and by and large failed. Usually I like to see the host nation do well at their own event and although the Russians were top of the medal table they were a massive fail in the ice hockey tournament, which left Putin with egg on his face. The conditions in Sochi (both the village and some of the alpine venues) were pretty mad considering that they'd spent 3 times as much as the London Olympics and also the whole furore around gay rights didn't endear Russia to the world either. And then there is the treatment of the workers that Jocke speaks of, I dread to think how much we don't know.

In purely sporting terms, shouldn't Sweden be disappointed with their haul, especially compared to that of neighbours Norway? The Swedes only came away with 2 golds.

Also, I was going to break out this image earlier, but I forgot. Does anyone else remember the Swiss cheese ski outfits that the Swiss men used to use?:

[Jocke1]

Isn't there 25 holes in that bit of cheese, watka? I counted twice.

[Ataxia]

I love how the cheese obscures the "Em" on the guy on the right's flabbo-dynamic spandex bodysuit.

[DOSBoot]

My ROTSWO so far:

3rd - Finland: Yes, they got 5 medals, but I was expecting much better from these guys overall.

2nd - Lolo Jones: Way to much overhyping by the media, bad attitude, and finished 11th when her teammates came 2nd, and 3rd.

1st - German Women's Biathlon Team: Dominated in Torino, sucked at Sochi. 11th out of 16 competitors, and Evi Sachenbacher's doping controversy sealed it for them.

[watka]

Isn't there 25 holes in that bit of cheese, watka? I counted twice.

Chilton's influence extends over all sport, not just F1...

[Alextrax52]

ROTG for me

Bronze Italy: At the time I was skeptical of Enoch giving a nomination but it turns out that this is the first winter games since 1980 that Italy have won no gold medals. For a country that has hosted the games on numerous occasions that isn't good enough

Silver BBC TV Coverage: I can't comment on the American media but the BBC TV coverage was too Curling-centric for me. We had major interest but I just felt that we were being given too much Curling and not enough of everything else on the TV because the Online part was fantastic to be fair.

Gold German Women's Biathlon team: It's basically the Austrian Men's Alpine Skiing team from Vancouver all over again: A Wunderkind team which dominates the late 1990's-early-to mid 2000's is reduced to a non-medal winning Olympic team by the 2010's. Unlike the Austrian Men however not only did the German Women fail to win a medal they never looked like winning one and Evi Sachenbacher's doping scandal was just the icing on the cake of a dismal games for the team

[ryangregg12345]

This year's Paralympics have been absolutely great for Great Britain;

Kelly Gallagher wins their first ever gold medal in the Winter Paralympics in the visually impaired skiing,
Her fellow impaired skier, Jade Etherington, has so far won four medals, but no golds, the best effort by a single British athlete,
And the wheelchair curling team win bronze.

Now, the British team are currently on six medals, but their best Paralympics was Innsbruck 1984 in which they won ten medals.

[Londoner]

After the washout that was London 2012, Team GB's swimmers came back with a vengeance last night in Rio. Adam Peaty smashed the world record again on his way to gold in the men's 100m breaststroke final, and that was backed up by Jazz Carlin taking the silver in the women's 400m freestyle final.

Katie Ledecky obliterated the world record in the aforementioned freestyle final. Never seen anything like it.

Kosovo have their first ever Olympic medal, and it's a gold to boot as well! Congratulations to Majlinda Kelmendi for her gold in judo.

Mind you, all of this is surprising, given I had assumed North Korea would sweep the golds in every event. At least, that's what their media were saying. ..

[dr-baker]

Mind you, all of this is surprising, given I had assumed North Korea would sweep the golds in every event. At least, that's what their media were saying. ..

I wonder what they are actually reporting now that the Olympics are underway?

[Bleu]

Water polo and striking resemblance of Jacques Villeneuve helmet.

[TheFlyingCaterham]

I half wonder how many times I'm going to call the Barra Cluster area Jacarepagua, for reasons that should be obvious here.

[UncreativeUsername37]

The Olympics with 9-6-4-3-2-1
Each sex of each sport has its own championship. "Shared drives" have their points split appropriately. I only break ties if they're for a high enough position for me to bother. And yes, some of the rarer diacritics in the names are absent, because otherwise the post couldn't get posted.

Alpine skiing
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Marcel Hirscher    18
 2  Alexis Pinturault  12 1/2
 3  Aksel Lund Svindal 11
 4  Kjetil Jansrud     10
    Beat Feuz          10
 6  André Myhrer        9 3/24
 7  Matthias Mayer      9
 8  Ramon Zenhäusern    7 4/5
 9  H. Kristoffersen    6
    V. Muffat-Jeandet   6
11  Michael Matt        5
12  Marco Schwarz       4
13  Clément Noël        3 1/2
14  Dominik Paris       3
    B. Giezendanner     3
    Zan Kranjec         3
17  Ted Ligety          2
    Thomas Dreßen       2
    Thomas Fanara       2

Hirscher's crash in the slalom ultimately didn't cost him the overall win.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Mikaela Shiffrin   18
 2  Ragnhild Mowinckel 15
 3  Wendy Holdener     11 4/5
 4  Frida Hansdotter   10 3/24
 5  Ester Ledecká       9
    Sofia Goggia        9
    Michelle Gisin      9
 8  Tina Weirather      7
 9  Anna Veith          6
10  K. Gallhuber        5
11  Federica Brignone   4 15/24
12  Lindsey Vonn        4 1/2
13  V. Rebensburg       3
    Lara Gut            3
15  A. Swenn-Larsson    2 3/24
16  Marta Bassino       2
    Johanna Schnarf     2
    Alice McKennis      2
    Petra Vlhová        2

Going into the alpine combined, Shiffrin and Mowinckel were tied for the lead on 12 points, Goggia the next one down with 9, but she didn't start.


Biathlon

Code: Select all

[u]Men[/u]
 1  Martin Fourcade    22.75
 2  JT Bø              12
 3  S. Samuelsson      11.25
 4  Arnd Peiffer       10.75
 5  Simon Schempp       9
 6  Benedikt Doll       8
 7  EH Svendsen         7
 8  Michal Krcmár       6
    Jakov Fak           6
10  Dominik Windisch    5
11  D. Landertinger     4.75
    Julian Eberhard     4.75
    Erik Lesser         4.75
14  Tarjei Bø           4.5
15  Simon Desthieux     2.75
16  Peppe Femling       2.25
    Jesper Nelin        2.25
    Fredrik Lindström   2.25
19  Erlend Bjøntegaard  2
    Benjamin Weger      2

Going into the mixed relay, Fourcade was in the lead by 11 points, and so the French win sealed the title.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Laura Dahlmeier    22.75
 2  Anastasiya Kuzmina 21.5
 3  Hanna Öberg        14.5
 4  Marte Olsbu        11.25
 5  Darya Domracheva    8.75
 6  Anaïs Bescond       7.25
 7  Tiril Eckhoff       6.25
    Marie Dorin Habert  6.25
 9  Lisa Vittozzi       5
10  Veronika Vítková    4
11  Franziska Preuß     3
12  Vanessa Hinz        2.75
    Nadhezda Skardino   2.75
14  Paulína Fialková    2.5
15  Iryna Kryuko        2.25
    Dzinara Alimbekava  2.25
17  Dorothea Wierer     2

Kuzmina's win in the mass start allowed her to get near-level with Dahlmeier, 22 to 21. Neither of them got even one point from the relays.


Bobsleigh
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Friedrich/Margis     12
 2  Kripps/Kopacz         8
 3  Walther               5.5
 4  Melbardis/Strenga     5
 5  Bauer/Grothkopp       4.5
 6  Poser                 3
 7  Won/Seo               2.5
    Jun/Kim               2.5
    Kuske/Rödiger/Franke  2.5
10  Lochner/Weber         2

After a tie for first in the two-man, the German number ones won the four-man outright.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Jamanka/Buckwitz    9
 2  Taylor/Gibbs        6
 3  Humphries/George    4
 4  Schneider/Drazek    3
 5  Poser/Evans         2

One event.


Cross-country skiing
Men

Code: Select all

 1  MJ Sundby          17.75
 2  SH Krüger          17.25
 3  JH Klæbo           15.75
 4  A. Bolshunov       14.5
 5  Denis Spitsov      11.5
 6  Dario Cologna      10
 7  Iivo Niskanen       9.75
 8  F. Pellegrino       7
    Maruice Manificat   7
10  HC Holund           6
11  Andrey Larkov       5.5
12  Pål Golberg         3
    Alex Harvey         3
14  Didrik Tønseth      2.25
15  Oskar Svensson      2
    Richard Jouve       2
    Marcus Hellner      2
    Calle Halfvarsson   2

Going into the team sprint, the top four were Krüger (17.25), Klæbo (11.25), Sundby (11.25), and Cologna (10). Krüger wasn't entered and Cologna failed to score, but Klæbo and Sundby won to come within 1.5 points of the lead going into the final event, the 50 km classical. Sundby, Spitsov (5.75 behind), Cologna (7.25), and Bulshunov (8.75) were the title contenders in that race. With the others out of points contention, Sundby's race ended in a battle for fourth, but fifth was enough and at the very end he acted like it.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Marit Bjørgen      22.75
 2  Charlotte Kalla    21.5
 3  Stina Nilsson      17.5
 4  Krista Pärmäkoski  15.25
 5  Ragnhild Haga      11.25
 6  Jessica Diggins    10
 7  MC Falla            8
 8  IF Østberg          5.25
 9  Yulia Belorukova    5
    Kikkan Randall      5
11  Ebba Andersson      4.5
12  Natalia Nepryaeva   4
13  AU Jacobsen         2.25
14  Hanna Falk          2
    N. von Siebenthal   2

The top skiers before the team sprint were Kalla on 16.5, Bjørgen on 11.75, Haga (not competing) on 11.25, and Nilsson on 10.5. All the protagonists qualified for the final, and Sweden got second with Norway third. Thus, into the final event (of the Olympics), we had:
1. Charlotte Kalla (19.5)
2. Marit Bjørgen (13.75)
3. Stina Nilsson (13.5)
4. Ragnhild Haga (11.25)
With Bjørgen winning, fifth wasn't good enough for Kalla.


Curling
There weren't many people who competed in both events, and no one came second in the mixed doubles and first in the "normal" tournament anyway. Therefore Morris and Lawes are the champions.


Figure skating
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Hanyuh Yuzuru       9
 2  Uno Shohma          6 1/4
 3  Scott Moir          5 13/18
 4  Bruno Massot        4 1/2
 5  Javier Fernández    4
 6  Eric Radford        3 2/9
 7  Han Cong            3
    Jin Boyang          3
    Guillaume Cizeron   3
10  Nathan Chen         2 1/2
    Alex Shibutani      2 1/2
12  Vladimir Morozov    2 1/6

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Alina Zagitova      9 2/3
 2  Evgenia Medvedeva   6 2/3
 3  Tessa Virtue        5 13/18
 4  Kaetlyn Osmond      5 2/9
 5  Aliona Savchenko    4 1/2
 6  Meagan Duhamel      3 2/9
 7  Miyahara Satoko     3 1/4
 8  Sui Wenjing         3
    G. Papadakis        3
10  Maia Shibutani      2 1/2
11  Carolina Kostner    2 3/8
12  Evgenia Tarasova    2 1/6

Look at those fractions.


Freestyle skiing
No multiple scorers, so all the gold medalists are champions.


Ice hockey
One event. OAR and the USA are the champions.


Luge
Men

Code: Select all

 1  David Gleirscher   10
 2  Tobias Wendl        6.75 (2 wins)
    Tobias Arlt         6.75 (2 wins)
 4  Chris Mazdzer       6.75 (0 wins)
 5  Johannes Ludwig     6.25
 6  Peter Penz          4
    Georg Fischler      4
 8  D. Fischnaller      3.5
 9  Toni Eggert         3
    Sascha Benecken     3
11  Tristan Walker      2.5
    Justin Snith        2.5
    Samuel Edney        2.5
14  Felix Loch          2

In this version of reality, Loch's choke costs him thirteen positions in something.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  N. Geisenberger    11.25
 2  Dajana Eitberger    6
 3  Alex Gough          5.5
 4  Tatjana Hüfner      3
 5  Kimberley McRae     2

The first event was enough for the championship, but Geisenberger won both anyway.


Nordic combined

Code: Select all

 1  Eric Frenzel       15.25
 2  Johannes Rydzek    13.25
 3  Watabe Akito        8.75
 4  Fabian Rießle       8.25
 5  Jarl Magnus Riiber  7.5
 6  Lukas Klapfer       5
 7  Vinzenz Geiger      2.25
    Eero Hirvonen       2.25

Frenzel clinched it with his third place in the large hill.


Short track speed skating
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Lim Hyo-jun        16.75
 2  Samuel Girard      16
 3  Wu Dajing          10.5
 4  John-Henry Krueger  6.5
 5  Shaolin Sándor Liu  6.25
 6  Sjinkie Knegt       6
    Hwang Dae-heon      6
 8  Semion Elistratov   5
 9  Seo Yi-ra           4.75
10  Shaoang Liu         2.25
    Viktor Knoch        2.25
    Csaba Burján        2.25
13  Sakazume Ryohsuke   2

After two rounds, Lim and Girard were tied on 12. No one around them made the A final, and Lim finished third with Girard fourth. Both of their teams made the A final of the relay, and Canada's one position on South Korea wasn't enough.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Choi Min-jeong     15.25
 2  Arianna Fontana    14.5
 3  Kim Boutin         14
 4  Suzanne Schulting  10
 5  Kim A-lang          7.25
 6  Yara van Kerkhof    7
 7  Li Jinyu            6
 8  Shim Suk-hee        3.25
 9  Jorien ter Mors     3
    Elise Christie      3
11  Kim Ye-jin          2.25
12  Sofia Prosvirnova   2.5

Choi, Fontana (no relation), and Boutin were two points apart, two gaps of one point each, going into the 1000 metres. Like the previous two events, they all made it to the A final. Boutin was second and Fontana third, Choi fourth after a crash. And so, with the top three a total of one point apart, it all came down to the relay. They all qualified for the A final, and South Korea and Italy were the only two who weren't handed a penalty, with the former winning by nine seconds.


Skeleton
One event. Yun Sung-bin and Lizzy Yarnold are the champions.


Ski jumping
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Andreas Wellinger  16.5
 2  Kamil Stoch        13
 3  JA Forfang         10.25
    Robert Johansson   10.25
 5  Daniel-André Tande  6.25
 6  Stefan Hula Jr.     3
 7  Andreas Stjernen    2.25

Wellinger clinched it after the large hill, 3 points ahead of Stoch.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Maren Lundby        9
 2  Katharina Althaus   6
 3  Takanashi Sara      4
 4  Irina Avvakumova    3
 5  Carina Vogt         2

One event.


Snowboarding
Men
Redmond Gerard was the only multiple scorer. He's the champion with 11 points.

Women
Jamie Anderson was the only multiple scorer, taking 15 points. Ledecká's awe-inspiring achievement is useless in this format.


Speed skating
Men

Code: Select all

 1  Kjeld Nuis         18
 2  Lee Seung-hoon     16
 3  Ted-Jan Bloemen    15 (1 win, 1 2nd, 1 7th)
 4  HH Lorentzen       15 (1 win, 1 2nd)
 5  Sven Kramer        11 1/3
 6  Patrick Roest       7 1/3
 7  Bart Swings         8
 8  Jorrit Bergsma      6
    Cha Min-kyu         6
    Kim Min-seok        6
11  SL Pedersen         4
    Nicola Tumolero     4
    Gao Tingyu          4
    Peter Michael       4
    Kim Tae-yun         4
    Oda Takuro          4
    Koen Verweij        4
18  Håvard Bokko        3
    SS Nilsen           3
    SL Pedersen         3
    Haralds Silovs      3
    Mika Poutala        3
    Joey Mantia         3
    Livio Wenger        3
25  Chang Jae-won       2
    Jordan Belchos      2
    Yamanaka Daichi     2
    Victor Hald Thorup  2

Bloemen and Kramer were the first to get into double figures, Bloemen on 15 and Kramer 10 after the 10,000 m. Kramer picked up another 1 1/3 points in the team pursuit, but Nuis won the 1000 m to take the lead. Of everyone eligible for the title, only Kramer was in the mass start, and he needed to win. He didn't.

Women

Code: Select all

 1  Ireen Wüst         17
 2  Kodaira Nao        16
 3  Takagi Miho        15
 4  Takagi Nana        12
 5  Jorien ter Mors    10
 6  C. Achtereekte      9
    Esmee Visser        9
    Martina Sáblíková   9
 9  Brittany Bowe       8 1/3
10  Marrit Leenstra     7
11  Lee Sang-hwa        6
    Antoinette de Jong  6
    Kim Bo-reum         6
14  Vanessa Herzog      5
15  Natalya Voronina    4
    Karolína Erbanová   4
    Ivanie Blondin      4
    Irene Schouten      4
19  Satoh Ayano         3
    Lotte van Beek      3
    A. van der Weijden  3
    Saskia Alusalu      3
23  Li Dan              2 2/3
24  Isabelle Weidemann  2

After three events, Wüst led on 15 points with first and second in the two events she was in, with Takagi on 12 having scored in all of them. Kodaira won event #5, the 500 m, to take the lead with 16, ter Mors also getting into double digits. Wüst took the lead back with 2nd in the pursuit. No one championship-eligible would compete in the mass start, making her champion.


Countries
Best result counts, pre-1976-style.

1. Norway (255)
2. Canada (206.5)
3. Germany (192.25)
4. United States (188)
5. Sweden (123.75)
6. Austria (121)
7. France (119)
7. South Korea (119)
9. Netherlands (115)
10. Switzerland (114)
11. Japan (106)
12. Athletes from Russia (103)
13. Italy (83.75)
14. China (62)
15. Czech Republic (49)
16. Finland (46.5)
17. Great Britain (32.75)
18. Belarus (28)
19. Slovakia (25)
20. Australia (21)
21. Hungary (17)
21. Poland (17)
23. New Zealand (16)
23. Slovenia (16)
25. Latvia (14)
26. Ukraine (9)
27. Belgium (8)
27. Spain (8)
29. Liechtenstein (7)
30. Kazakhstan (5)
31. Estonia (3)
32. Denmark (2)
33. Bulgaria (1)

No dramatic final event win here. Germany don't even come second.

By sport
Warning: contains some FIFA codes.

Code: Select all

    ALP BIA BOB CCS CUR FIG FSS IHO LUG NCO STS SKE SJU SNO SPE Tot
NOR 33  46      87   5      12           9          28   7  28  255
CAN  1      12½  3  13  26  51  10  13      33          21  23  206.5
GER  5¾ 48  25½  2       9       6  31  24       6  27   7   1  192.25
USA 24   1   6  17  10  10  25   9  10       8          54  14  188
SWE 19¾ 37      47  15       3   2                              123.75
AUT 53  11                          19  13       3   5  11   6  121
FRA 19  42      12       8  18           2              18      119
KOR          6       8                      44   9       6  46  119
NED                                         27              88  115
SUI 44   3   3  15  10      19   2                      15   3  114
JPN                  4  14   6   1      12   3       5  12  49  106
OAR             37      20   9  12           9   6   3   3   4  103
ITA 18¾ 12       8       7           5      19           9   5   83.75
CHN                  5  10  12              21           6   8   62
CZE  9  10                       3       1              13  13   49
FIN      1      31½              5       2               4   3   46.5
GBR  0¾              5       7               3  13       4       32.75
BLR     17                  10                               1   28
SVK  2  23                                                       25
AUS                         11                          10       21
POL      1                                          16           17
HUN                                         17                   17
SVN  3   6       1                                   2   4       16
NZL                          4                           6   6   16
LAT          6                       2           3           3   14
UKR                          9                                    9
ESP                      4                               4        8
BEL                                                          8    8
LIE  7                                                            7
KAZ                          4               1                    5
EST                                                          3    3
DEN                                                          2    2
BUL                                                      1        1

[dinizintheoven]

All those cross-country skiing names and Freeze-o-Kimi's girlfriend was nowhere to be seen...

[Alextrax52]

All those cross-country skiing names and Freeze-o-Kimi's girlfriend was nowhere to be seen...

[Har1MAS1415]

Pardon the resurrection but I am just watching the qualifying heats of the Men's Keirin event in the 2024 Paris Olympics and one of the Japanese riders is named SHINJI NAKANO!