Shortest F1 films

[FMecha]

Inspired by the latest podcast and the movie posters at the Caption This thread, as well as the 'Shortest F1 books' thread. Draw a movie poster for a (fictional) F1-themed film, and explain how the story goes (i.e. the meaning of the poster).

I can't do one for now, sorry.

(And yes, 1000th post! )

[DemocalypseNow]

Inspired by the latest podcast and the movie posters at the Caption This thread, as well as the 'Shortest F1 books' thread. Draw a movie poster for a (fictional) F1-themed film, and explain how the story goes (i.e. the meaning of the poster).

I can't do one for now, sorry.

(And yes, 1000th post! )

I did two a long time ago now. They're on the forum somewhere, let's see if I can find them...

Edit: Found them!

[Ataxia]

Here's one I whipped up just now...

[Sunshine_Baby_[IT]]

The Delatraz's one is the best one!

[Phoenix]

The Delatraz's one is the best one!

I concur, and it's very well presented too.

[AdrianSutil]

I thought the Winklehock one was a Zanardi one at first eerily similar in looks I think.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

These are all so funny

Sadly I am too untalented to make my own.

[FullMetalJack]

These are all so funny

Sadly I am too untalented to make my own.

Didn't stop me.

[Ferrim]

"In association with Paydriver Pictures"

Keep them coming, please!

[CoopsII]

These are all so funny

Sadly I am too untalented to make my own.

Funniest things Ive seen in ages (and that includes Karthikeyan this year). I am also untalented so I will have to sit here in the hope of more appearing!

[DemocalypseNow]

These are all so funny

Sadly I am too untalented to make my own.

Funniest things Ive seen in ages (and that includes Karthikeyan this year). I am also untalented so I will have to sit here in the hope of more appearing!

If inspiration comes to me, I may do some more. Just wait and see.

[Sunshine_Baby_[IT]]

If inspiration comes to me, I may do some more. Just wait and see.

I'm looking forward for more! *___*

[tzerof1]

A title idea I have for a film is "Of von Trips and Motorcars"

Yes, I realise that technically the title could be considered slightly redundant because "of" is in there twice, but it sounds better than just "von Trips and Motorcars"
Also, nobody should be complaining about a lack of action

[DemocalypseNow]

Also, nobody should be complaining about a lack of action

Except dr-baker of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU

[dr-baker]

Also, nobody should be complaining about a lack of action

Except dr-baker of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU

I couldn't possibly imagine what you mean!

[Ferrim]

This is an old one, not made by me, but great:



Although I would have prefered it to read: "No Clue. No Talent. No Hope."

[Sunshine_Baby_[IT]]

I had seen before the Inoue's one... it's great!

[Jocke1]

Adrian Sutil as Pinocchio, a wooden puppet carved by Geppetto and turned into a living puppet by the Blue Fairy.


Niki Lauda as Jiminy Cricket, a cheerful and wise cricket who acts as Pinocchio's conscience and the partial narrator of the story.


Emerson Fittipaldi as Gideon, Honest John's mute and crafty anthropomorphic feline accomplice.


Romain Grosjean as John Worthington Foulfellow, also known as Honest John, a sly anthropomorphic red fox and known criminal who tricks Pinocchio twice in the film.


Lewis Hamilton as Lampwick, a naughty boy that Pinocchio befriends on his way to Pleasure Island. Lampwick is later turned into a donkey on Pleasure Island.


Natalie Pinkham as The Blue Fairy, who brings Pinocchio to life and turns him into a real boy at the end.


Ross Brawn as the devious and sadistic Coachman, owner and operator of Pleasure Island, who enjoys turning unruly boys into donkeys.


Vijay Mallya as Stromboli, a large, sinister, Italian bearded puppet-maker who forces Pinocchio to perform onstage in order to make money.


Bernie Ecclestone as Mister Geppetto, a kind and elderly woodcarver who creates Pinocchio and wishes for him to become a real boy.


FW26 as Monstro, the sperm whale that swallows Geppetto, Figaro, and Cleo during their search for Pinocchio. Pinocchio is later swallowed when Monstro is eating, and he and Geppetto reunite.

Rush director Ron Howard says the biggest challenge of creating his film about the 1976 F1 season was getting the look of the car right. For his new F1 story he had an even bigger challenge, he searched long and hard in the paddock for the most suitable driver to portray the character of Pinocchio.
Speaking to formula1.com and selected media, Howard said casting the characters was a "huge challenge" which "threatened our budget" in the early stages of making the film.
Eventually the film's investors provided funds for them to conduct some exploratory filming at a historic Disney museum. This was a "huge break", according to Howard.
"We were just picking out some story writers and animators that were appropriate to our adaptation," he said. "And we did well, we learned a hell of a lot."
"This movie has been created using a combination of both animation and real life acting. It will be up to the viewer to find the differencies.

"I got the idea for this project after watching my movie Rush at the premiere in L.A. with my now good friend Niki Lauda. Niki mentioned it would be wonderful to see a sequel made, and I jumped at the idea. I wanted to stay within the world of Formula One but also do something completely fresh. "

"More importantly we were able to meet the owners of the original Pinocchio script. When I heard about these people who owned the historic Pinocchio script I thought they were just hobbyists and these were sort of like Disney freaks where they would take the old movie scripts out, start reading them, read the pages a few times and maybe take some pictures.
And they were willing to be a part of our movie once they believed it was going to be approached in an authentic, serious way."
As those who've seen Rush will know, the dedication to authenticity extended as far as getting the race-to-race detail changes to the cars right. For example, Hunt's M23 begins the season with a tall, red airbox which is later swapped for the distinctive L-shaped configuration.
It was just as important to get the Pinocchio film's historical elements correct as some original video has been incorporated into the film.

"People also knew that the wardrobe would have to cut with the wardrobe we were seeing in the archival footage."
"That was useful because it gave everybody a guide but it certainly raised the bar and had to raise everybody's standards."

The accuracy of Adrian Sutil's portrayal of Pinocchio has been hailed by many reviewers. But those behind the film originally wanted someone else to play the role.

"The German investors were a little reluctant about Adrian," said Howard. "They honestly wished we would get an American movie star to play Pinocchio and just do a bad Italian accent."
"But that's not what our scriptwriter wanted nor what I wanted and we knew Adrian's an artist who would take on the daunting task of recreating somebody who's still so well-known, still so iconic."

But while the film makers were quick to settle on Sutil for the role of Pinocchio, it took longer to cast Lewis Hamilton's Lampwick:
"The Lampwick casting threatened to derail the movie," Howard recalled.
"Looking at the list, seeing who's available, thinking about it, there was sort of no one who was fitting the mould as well as Adrian did for Pinocchio. And my heart began to sink, I began to feel like we really shouldn't go ahead with this, it'd be compromised, as excited as I am about the project."

Hamilton had come to prominence for his WDC in 2008. But Howard had doubts over whether the Brit could play a donkey realistically.
"I'd met Lewis and liked him, liked him a lot in McLaren," said Howard, "but no way of knowing whether he could be Lampwick material."
"Ron Dennis said he really had a lot to offer as an actor."
"And one day Lewis just sent in a self-made audition tape. And he took some of the script and just did a few group speeches and it was so cool and such a confidence-builder. He had the body language, the beginnings of the sound, the attitude. He was transforming himself as a good actor does."
That sealed Hamilton's casting in the role. "Then it was done," said Howard. "We knew we had a movie."

Howard was new to the old Disney classics when he began researching Pinocchio. But after a visit to Walt Disney Studios in Burbank, California, he quickly decided it was a compelling subject for a film – "smart, intelligent, thinking person's entertainment."
Howard felt the story of Pinocchio and Lampwick's rivalry gave the movie the right ingredients for an exciting production.

"The combination of a bona fide, big-screen experience that hopefully transports the audience and these rich, fascinating, entertaining characters was, I thought, a great combination and a chance to do something remarkably fresh."
"That's a hard thing to be able to say about a lot of movies that are getting the green light today."
But as with the casting of Sutil there were some who disagreed with the film's direction.

"I did have friends in Los Angeles who read the script and said "who are we rooting for?" Howard admitted. "This is the sort of traditional script note that you get."
But it was an angle the film makers were keen to avoid: "That's one of the unconventional aspects of this. I think people are pleasantly surprised by the move because they expect a more conventional kind of Disney movie to roll out."
"These aren't conventional characters and the good news was it kind of forced myself to take a narrative that doesn't unfold the way you would write it in a movie script and make it work."
"I don't think it's fair to take sides, I don't think there was a good guy or a bad guy there. I felt like it was a rival story and a dual survival story.

"I think the big narrative question was, is whatever was fuelling these guys to go to Pleasure Island in the first place? That's the tension, that's the drama. That's Pinocchio."

[good_Ralf]

Five-star. Jocke1, you are just dominating the nominations for post of the year now.

[UncreativeUsername37]

:shock: Five-star. Jocke1, you are just dominating the nominations for post of the year now.

I think all of his posts will take points off each other and give the title to a meandering rant published on Christmas by dinizintheoven, who instead of constantly posting funny things, spent the entirety of 2014 working on that one post.

[Jocke1]

*Eric Lux is not appearing in this film.

[dinizintheoven]

:shock: Five-star. Jocke1, you are just dominating the nominations for post of the year now.

I think all of his posts will take points off each other and give the title to a meandering rant published on Christmas by dinizintheoven, who instead of constantly posting funny things, spent the entirety of 2014 working on that one post.

Unfortunately for this idea, I've already spent January and February not working on it, March is equally otherwise occupied, so the best you'll get is a nine-month post. Plus, if you want to see it on a specific day in December, I suspect you'll have to come round my house and pull me out from under a couple of empty crates of Trooper which weren't empty that morning...

[FMecha]

I found this...

[good_Ralf]

Marussia is spelt wrong. Plus the credits display the names 'Sandra Bullock' and 'George Clooney'...

[dinizintheoven]

Marussia is spelt wrong. Plus the credits display the names 'Sandra Bullock' and 'George Clooney'...

...with George Clooney playing the part of Graeme Lowden, and Sandra Bullock can be... Talent's mum.

Also starring Geoffrey Boycott as John Booth, Timo Glock as Nikolai Fomenko (who is seen so irregularly that nobody would know the difference), Jules Bianchi as Jules Bianchi, and Harry Enfield as Loadsamoney, a.k.a. Talent's bank manager.

It's even better than Rush!

[Ataxia]

The real Gravity was pretty rubbish, it was pretty much 2 hours of watching Sandra Bullock panic.

Get a grip, Sandra! You're in space...isn't that cool enough for you?

[Jocke1]

Formula 1's Mean Girls (2014)
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writers: Rosalind Wiseman (book), Rahel Frey (screenplay)
Stars: Simona de Silvestro, Susie Wolff (formerly Stoddart), Claire Williams
Monisha Kaltenborn, Danica Patrick, Katja Poensgen & Isabelle Tremblay.


Storyline
Susie Wolff is a hit with Formula 1, the A-list girl at Williams, until she makes the mistake of crossing paths with Simona de Silvestro, the young Swiss ace who is an up-and-coming rookie during the 2014 season, who will stop at nothing to succeed.

Raised in Scotland by her dentist parents, Susie thinks she knows about survival of the fittest. But the law of the F1 paddock jungle takes on a whole new meaning when Susie enters the official Friday practice sessions for the first time and encounters psychological warfare and unwritten social rules that women drivers face today.

de Silvestro becomes increasingly jealous of Wolff, in her own pursuit of a race seat at Sauber.
An 'incident' occurs in the pits at Monaco, where de Silvestro tries to sabotage the brakes of Wolff's private car.
Her plan backfires, though, and she breaks both her hands when Susie drops the car on her while she lies under it.

After Simona recovers from her severe hand injuries she plots a scheme to steal Susie's husband, Toto.
But one unexpected thing later occurs on the top of Eau Rouge, which will change their lives forever ...


Plot Keywords: formula one | rivalry | toto | secrets | rascasse
Taglines: Watch your back
Genres: Dark Comedy I Drama

Details
Official Sites: Paramount Pictures. Country: U.S.A I Switzerland I U.K.
Language: English | German | Norwegian
Release Date: 13 August 2014
Also Known As: Susie vs. Simona
Filming Locations: Malmedy, Belgium. Monte Carlo. Harlem N.Y. Abu Dhabi. Barcelona.

Box Office
Budget: US $317 000 000 (estimated)

Company Credits
Production Co: Paramount Pictures, M.G. Films, Broadway Video

Technical Specs
Runtime: 97 min
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital | DTS
Color: Black & White
Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

[FA1L]

Formula 1's Mean Girls (2014)
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writers: Rosalind Wiseman (book), Rahel Frey (screenplay)
Stars: Simona de Silvestro, Susie Wolff (formerly Stoddart), Claire Williams
Monisha Kaltenborn, Danica Patrick, Katja Poensgen & Isabelle Tremblay.


Storyline
Susie Wolff is a hit with Formula 1, the A-list girl at Williams, until she makes the mistake of crossing paths with Simona de Silvestro, the young Swiss ace who is an up-and-coming rookie during the 2014 season, who will stop at nothing to succeed.

Raised in Scotland by her dentist parents, Susie thinks she knows about survival of the fittest. But the law of the F1 paddock jungle takes on a whole new meaning when Susie enters the official Friday practice sessions for the first time and encounters psychological warfare and unwritten social rules that women drivers face today.

de Silvestro becomes increasingly jealous of Wolff, in her own pursuit of a race seat at Sauber.
An 'incident' occurs in the pits at Monaco, where de Silvestro tries to sabotage the brakes of Wolff's private car.
Her plan backfires, though, and she breaks both her hands when Susie drops the car on her while she lies under it.

After Simona recovers from her severe hand injuries she plots a scheme to steal Susie's husband, Toto.
But one unexpected thing later occurs on the top of Eau Rouge, which will change their lives forever ...


Plot Keywords: formula one | rivalry | toto | secrets | rascasse
Taglines: Watch your back
Genres: Dark Comedy I Drama

Details
Official Sites: Paramount Pictures. Country: U.S.A I Switzerland I U.K.
Language: English | German | Norwegian
Release Date: 13 August 2014
Also Known As: Susie vs. Simona
Filming Locations: Malmedy, Belgium. Monte Carlo. Harlem N.Y. Abu Dhabi. Barcelona.

Box Office
Budget: US $317 000 000 (estimated)

Company Credits
Production Co: Paramount Pictures, M.G. Films, Broadway Video

Technical Specs
Runtime: 97 min
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital | DTS
Color: Black & White
Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

This. I can already nominate Jocke1 as the poster of the year.

[dinizintheoven]

Are there subtitles for those of us who can't understand Susie's haggis-with-muesli accent?

[Jocke1]

Are there subtitles for those of us who can't understand Susie's haggis-with-muesli accent?

Müsli with haggis? I had no idea you could eat müsli with haggis.
I prefer my müsli with milk or yoghurt. The very thought of müsli with haggis makes me nauseous. Oh, hang on, are we talking about the same thing? Maybe your muesli and my müsli aren't the same?

Anyway, I understand Susie-speak just fine.
Listened to her just yesterday, in fact. http://www1.skysports.com/watch/video/s ... by-call-up

[Jocke1]

Selfish yuppie Charlie Babbitt's father left a fortune to his savant brother Kamui
and a pittance to Charlie; they travel cross-country.


Kamui Kobayashi, while not intelligent, has accidentally been present at many historic moments,
but his true love, Jenny Curran, eludes him.


Based on the true life experiences of poet Jimmy Santiago Baca, the film focuses on half-brothers Paco and Cruz,
and their bi-racial cousin Miklo. It opens in 1972, as the three are members of an East L.A. gang known as
the "Vatos Locos", and the story focuses on how a violent crime and the influence of narcotics alter their lives.
Miklo is incarcerated and sent to San Quentin, where he makes a "home" for himself.
Cruz becomes an exceptional artist, but a heroin addiction overcomes him with tragic results.
Paco becomes a cop and an enemy to his "carnal", Miklo.


A Japanese prince goes to Queens, New York City to find a wife whom he can respect for her intelligence and will.


A puppeteer discovers a portal that leads literally into the head of the F1 star, Kamui Kobayashi.


When a gigantic Japanese begins to menace the small island community of Amity, a police chief,
a marine scientist and grizzled fisherman set out to stop it.


A pair of losers try to pretend that their murdered employer is really alive, but the murderer is out to "finish him off."


A seventeen-year-old aristocrat, expecting to be married to a rich claimant by her mother,
falls in love with a kind but poor Japanese aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.M.S. Titanic.


In 19th-century France, Jean Valjean, who for decades has been hunted by the ruthless policeman Kamui after breaking parole,
agrees to care for a factory worker's daughter. The decision changes their lives for ever.


After an encounter with UFOs, a line worker feels undeniably drawn to an isolated area in the wilderness
where something spectacular is about to happen.


A Japanese cyborg, identical to the one who failed to kill Sarah Connor, must now protect her teenage son, John,
from a more advanced cyborg, made out of liquid metal.


A physically perfect but innocent man goes in search of his long-lost twin brother,
who is a short small-time Japanese crook.


A comedic satire of films that are large in scope, reputation and popularity.


Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy with a great destiny proves
his worth while attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


A young recruit in Vietnam faces a moral crisis when confronted with the horrors of war and the duality of man.


A somewhat romanticized account of the career of the notoriously violent bank robbing couple and their gang.


A mentally challenged Japanese man fights for custody of his 7-year-old daughter, and in the process
teaches his cold-hearted lawyer the value of love and family.


The child Jiro finds his adopted family dead and is wrongfully accused of the murder. He runs from Sai village
and is found by a monk named Kamui. Kamui takes him in and Jiro is trained as a shinobi, but Kamui is not what he seems to be ...

[watka]

After that, I feel slightly bad for predicting Kobayashi would be ROTY.

[dinizintheoven]

Reject of the Oscars, though, maybe?

[Jocke1]

'Goldilocks & The Three Bears' is a survival horror video game for the PlayStation 4 published by Konami and developed by Team Super Nippon!,
a Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo group.
The first installment in the Shtoom Hill series, a follow-up to the highly popular Silent Hill series, the game is released in North America in June 2014,
and in Japan and Europe later this year. Shtoom Hill uses a third-person view, with real-time 3D environments.
Unlike earlier survival horror games that focused on protagonists with combat training, the player character of Shtoom Hill is a race driver.
Konami has a sequel already planned out for 2015, with a similarly famous yet-to-be-named race car driver.

The game follows Nico Rosberg as he searches for his missing girlfriend in the eponymous fictional Monegasque principality of Shtoom Hill.
Stumbling upon a cult conducting a ritual to revive a deity it worships, he discovers her true origin.
As the game progresses Nico's sanity rapidly diminishes.

The objective of the player is to guide main protagonist and player character Nico Rosberg through a monster-filled town as he searches for his lost
girlfriend, Vivian. Shtoom Hill's gameplay consists of combat, exploration, puzzle-solving and locking up at Mirabeau.

The rights to the game was originally held by CAPCOM, but since the CAPCOM people are previously proven idiots they lost the rights to KONAMI.

At the start of the game, Nico drives to Shtoom Hill with his girlfriend Vivian for a vacation. At the town's edge, he swerves his Mercedes at Mirabeau to avoid
hitting a man in the road; as a result, he crashes the vehicle and loses consciousness. Waking up in town, he meets police officer Susie Wolff, who works in a
nearby town, and realizes that Vivian is missing. Finding that the principality is deserted and foggy, with snow falling out of season, Nico meets several other
people in the monster-filled town: Toto Wolff, who gives him a charm, the "Flauros"; Doctor Niki Lauda, director of Shtoom Hill's Alchemilla Hospital; and nurse
Nicole Scherzinger, who worked at Alchemilla.

He also encounters a symbol throughout the town, which Toto claims will allow darkness to take over the town if it continues to multiply.
Eventually, this darkness begins taking over the town. According to Toto, the man from the road is a demon responsible for the symbol's duplication,
it's name is Lewis Hamilton. He urges Nico to stop the Hamilton demon, because if he does not, Vivian will die.
Nico soon finds himself attacked by Toto, who is parasitized by a creature; the player must choose whether to save him or not.

Nico later awakens in a logicless void known officially only as "nowhere" and encounters Lewis, who realizes he is "the same as them" and begins transforming; Nico flees, horrified.

Nico, hungry and starving looks through a window at a house at the edge of town, peeps through the keyhole, and lifts the latch. Assured that no one is home, he walks in.
Nico proceeds to eat from a bowl of porridge he finds, then settles into a chair and breaks it. Prowling about, he finds a bed and falls asleep.
Suddenly a person wearing a bear suit enters the house and, spotting Nico, he yells out "Somebody has been lying in my bed!!! and there he is!!!"
Nico starts up, jumps from the window, and runs away towards Mirabeau.

Two different endings are available depending on whether Nico saves Vivian or discovers a bottle of Aglaophotis at Niki's apartment, or both.
Aglaophotis is a red liquid which is obtained from the refinement of a plant of the same name, it has the ability to dispel demonic forces and
grant protection against such forces to those who use the item.

The "bad" ending occurs if neither is done; the demon Lewis Hamilton attacks Nico at Mirabeau, who ultimately defeats him.
Nico collapses and the game cuts to his corpse inside the #6 F1 W05 at the Mirabeau run-off area.