If the championship were decided on looks!

watka · Post by **watka** » 03 Feb 2010, 23:12

Another thumbs up for the Virgin livery. But does anyone else think that the aerodynamics look a little say... Champ Car?

Edit: I've noticed a lot of other people making the Indycar reference in the "car launch thread".

Captain Hammer · Post by **Captain Hammer** » 04 Feb 2010, 05:46

Okay, I'm going to do a livery and design review:

Ferrari F10

Design: Ferrari haven't really tried to do anything unique here. They've taken the best parts from each of the most successful cars - RB5 nose, BGP-001 sidepods and MP4-25 rear wing - and stitched them together. After last year's disaster, you can't blame them for being conservative, but it's hardly the most exciting design. C+

Livery: More of the same, but this is the Scuderia we're talking about. I don't mind the addition of white wings and Santander, but the whole thing is let down by the Malboro barcode, which makes the most famous name in the sport sport look like an under-funded GP2 team. C

McLaren MP4-25

Design: It's dramatic, but is it a step in the right direction? A lot of analogies have been made to rocket ships and organic designs, with comments that the car is the first to make a shark fin look good. True as it may be, I think shark fins that join to rear wins make the car look like a truck at times. Full marks for effort, though. B

Livery: Another case of more of the same. McLaren apparently didn't want to make too dramatic a departure from the 2009 livery because Mercedes were going to use silver and they didn't want confusion. A pretty flimsy excuse, so half a point off for that. B-

Sauber C29

Design: All of the McLaren's aggression, none of its elegance - but the C29 doesn't need to be elegant; the industrial look suits it. Probably the most interesting thing is the way the front wing is mounted to the osecone much further back than no any other design. A-

Livery: I can't really judge it, since we've been told that this is a interim livery and that once Sauber get sponsors, they'll add something new in. But if they don't get sponsors and run this livery ... well, the only thing I can say is D

Renault R30

Design: There's some contention as to whether this is a Renault R30 or a Renault R29 with R30 parts. All the same, I like it. It might not be as dramatic as the others, but it looks like the natural successor to the 2009 cars (unlike the F10, which is just Ferrari apeing the competition). B+

Livery: Also very good; it's finally nice to see some colour on the grid. It's a bit lacking in sponsors, though, and the vertical lines just look wrong; they're at odds with the direction a Formula 1 car travels. And it does look a bit like a bumblebee. A-

Mercedes W01

Design: Good points and bad. The airbox and tail fin give the car a shape that looks right (are you reading this, McLaren?), but the front wing looks chunky and the nose looks like it's been pulled down by the weight of the wing. A-

Livery: Very simply, very effective; I love the way Mercedes remember where they're coming from, because you can see influences from their old 1950s cars, the 1997 West McLaren Mercede design and Brawn. I especially like the way you can see carbon fibre in places. A-

Williams FW32

Design: Simialr to the Renault R30 in that it's an extension of the 2009 designs. There's not really a lot more than can be said about it. B

Livery: Unlikely to be the final 2010 livery, since the Williams cars always appear in an interim test livery. I do like the additio of the Williams name and logo, though. B-

Scuderia Toro Rosso STR5

Design: It's basically a Toro Rosso STR4, which means it's a Red Bull RB5. Nothing noticeably - much less dramatically - different. D+

Livery: The only new addition is a bit of red on the nose. C-

Virgin Racing VR-01

Design: Quite minimal, though Nick Wirth admits the wings and sidepods are just for show - the final version will have much more elaborate pieces attached. All the same, it's got good lines ad an interesting needle nose. A

Livery: The first and to date only legitimate challenger to the JPS Lotus black and gold paint job of the 1980s. The VR-01 is everything a livery should be: elegant and artistic, but without taking the focus away from the car or trying to be a work of art in its own right. A+

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 04 Feb 2010, 08:46

Thank you for that Captain. You've just put the finger on what's been bothering me about the Renault all this time: the vertical black lines. Here's hoping they get rid of it.

Kobacrashi · Post by **Kobacrashi** » 04 Feb 2010, 09:21

There is a video interview with the maestro Nick Wirth on the bbc sport website and he is basically saying that they stole all the aero parts at the moment and he will be glueing all the Manor/Simtek/Lola/Computer designed parts on for the first test and the car will look radically different. Hopefully they all fit on and the car manages to perform slightly better than the previous CFD designed car.

Still should get a lot of screen time if it looks half as good as the launch car/canvas.

When was the last time we got some nice swirly patterns on the body work? I for one can't remember!

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 09:39

If the Championship were decided on looks, I've got Robert Kubica for ROTY.

madcat · Post by **madcat** » 04 Feb 2010, 09:58

Roty or not, I'm not following you down that male bonding type of route... Next you'll be telling us who would win the championship based on his looks.... :twisted:

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 10:04

madcat wrote:Roty or not, I'm not following you down that male bonding type of route... Next you'll be telling us who would win the championship based on his looks....

And you know what? I'm a moderator! I can do that if I want!

Danica Patrick!

Chewie · Post by **Chewie** » 04 Feb 2010, 10:21

thehemogoblin wrote:
madcat wrote:Roty or not, I'm not following you down that male bonding type of route... Next you'll be telling us who would win the championship based on his looks....

And you know what? I'm a moderator! I can do that if I want!

Danica Patrick!

Danica driving the virgin car would be my idea of the perfect car/driver combo......

...and also trigger a million innuendo jokes!!!

DonTirri · Post by **DonTirri** » 04 Feb 2010, 10:57

Chewie wrote:
Danica driving the virgin car would be my idea of the perfect car/driver combo......

...and also trigger a million innuendo jokes!!!

"This isn't the first time Danica has ridden a Virgin"?
"And the Virgin explodes in the hands of Danica Patrick!"?
"Patrick really knows how to handle the Virgin"?
"Not even Danica Patrick can take the Virgin all the way"?

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 04 Feb 2010, 11:48

DonTirri wrote:
Chewie wrote:
Danica driving the virgin car would be my idea of the perfect car/driver combo......

...and also trigger a million innuendo jokes!!!

"This isn't the first time Danica has ridden a Virgin"?
"And the Virgin explodes in the hands of Danica Patrick!"?
"Patrick really knows how to handle the Virgin"?
"Not even Danica Patrick can take the Virgin all the way"?

"Danica Patrick is slipping herslf into the Virgin's cockpit."
"She enjoys manhandling that Virgin..."
"And there she goes, sliding a move up the inside of..."
"And Danica's Virgin gets rear-ended.."

fjackdaw · Post by **fjackdaw** » 04 Feb 2010, 12:18

Jeez, Danica, get some dignity.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 14:32

Someone should block this thread to shinji.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 04 Feb 2010, 15:33

dr-baker wrote:
"This isn't the first time Danica has ridden a Virgin"?
"And the Virgin explodes in the hands of Danica Patrick!"?
"Patrick really knows how to handle the Virgin"?
"Not even Danica Patrick can take the Virgin all the way"?

"Danica Patrick is slipping herslf into the Virgin's cockpit."
"She enjoys manhandling that Virgin..."
"And there she goes, sliding a move up the inside of..."
"And Danica's Virgin gets rear-ended.."

While we're at it...

"The tunnel is wide enough for the Virgin" (Monaco)
"The Virgin stops shortly before the finish"
"What a strong result. Virgin must be really pleased"
"The Virgin driver just didn't had enough space for another driver to enter"

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 04 Feb 2010, 18:17

Phoenix wrote:Someone should block this thread to shinji.

You so funny, Phoenix!

Not.

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 04 Feb 2010, 18:36

I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

Waris · Post by **Waris** » 04 Feb 2010, 18:39

CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She is going with the sexist habits of this sexist society, and shamelessly exploits her femininity in order to get more attention (and it'll likely bring her more attention than her driving will ever bring her).

In case you hadn't noticed, in addition to being a feminist, I am not a big fan of Danica Patrick.

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 04 Feb 2010, 18:48

Waris wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She is going with the sexist habits of this sexist society, and shamelessly exploits her femininity in order to get more attention (and it'll likely bring her more attention than her driving will ever bring her).

In case you hadn't noticed, in addition to being a feminist, I am not a big fan of Danica Patrick.

Yeah, I know. But that sort of thing doesn't last; my dad (and my mom!) still remember Michelle Mouton because she won the Portugal Rally in 1982 or whenever it was - and they care absolutely nothing about cars, motorsports or rallying. I always remember Jutta Kleinschmitt, despite the fact that I can neither spell nor pronounce her name, because she won the Dakar. They made history by driving, not by stripping.

The reason why no-one will remember Danika Patrick years from now is that there will be more women stripping. So, looking good while scantily clad isn't really an Unique Selling Point. Her marketing people should start looking into that fact.

LucaPacchiarini · Post by **LucaPacchiarini** » 04 Feb 2010, 19:02

I still prefer Lella Lombardi

and also kudos to Giovanna Amati who slapped a track marshal in his face, during the practice sessions of the South African GP...he was trying to "touch" her

Waris · Post by **Waris** » 04 Feb 2010, 19:07

CarlosFerreira wrote:
Waris wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She is going with the sexist habits of this sexist society, and shamelessly exploits her femininity in order to get more attention (and it'll likely bring her more attention than her driving will ever bring her).

In case you hadn't noticed, in addition to being a feminist, I am not a big fan of Danica Patrick.

Yeah, I know. But that sort of thing doesn't last; my dad (and my mom!) still remember Michelle Mouton because she won the Portugal Rally in 1982 or whenever it was - and they care absolutely nothing about cars, motorsports or rallying. I always remember Jutta Kleinschmitt, despite the fact that I can neither spell nor pronounce her name, because she won the Dakar. They made history by driving, not by stripping.

The reason why no-one will remember Danika Patrick years from now is that there will be more women stripping. So, looking good while scantily clad isn't really an Unique Selling Point. Her marketing people should start looking into that fact.

Of course you are right, however, Danica's marketing people are dumb.

LucaPacchiarini wrote:I still prefer Lella Lombardi

Lella Lombardi was epic, the only driver ever with a points total of 0.5.

and also kudos to Giovanna Amati who slapped a track marshal in his face, during the practice sessions of the South African GP...he was trying to "touch" her

HA! Served him right!

DonTirri · Post by **DonTirri** » 04 Feb 2010, 19:22

CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She's American and She's Female. Not to mention She's a celebrity.

Back there, thats all the reason you need.

fjackdaw · Post by **fjackdaw** » 04 Feb 2010, 19:45

Waris wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She is going with the sexist habits of this sexist society, and shamelessly exploits her femininity in order to get more attention (and it'll likely bring her more attention than her driving will ever bring her).

In case you hadn't noticed, in addition to being a feminist, I am not a big fan of Danica Patrick.

Totally. She's completely selling out any other female competitors who want to get taken seriously as sports people as opposed to just being "token babe".

P_Friesacher · Post by **P_Friesacher** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:10

CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

Sutil does. Well, not quite...

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:26

P_Friesacher wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

Sutil does. Well, not quite...

Yes, but that wasn't just blatantly taking advantage of his gender and sexually to pursue notability in a world where doing that is one of the most hazardous activities possible. It was posing with dolphins.

Post by **mario** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:27

fjackdaw wrote:
Waris wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

She is going with the sexist habits of this sexist society, and shamelessly exploits her femininity in order to get more attention (and it'll likely bring her more attention than her driving will ever bring her).

In case you hadn't noticed, in addition to being a feminist, I am not a big fan of Danica Patrick.

Totally. She's completely selling out any other female competitors who want to get taken seriously as sports people as opposed to just being "token babe".

Sadly true - the problem with Danica Patrick is that she has stolen the limelight from other female drivers. She isn't even that good - ok, so she did well in the Indy 500 last year, getting 3rd - but she isn't that great at road courses (ok, she did come 4th at Long Beach in 2009, but that was down to a lucky pit stop just before a safety car to clear up an accident - she started down in 22nd place, which says a lot).
After all, take her final points tally - 393 points, and 5th place, over 220 points down on Franchitti, who won the title with 616 points. A better finish, compared to her earlier results, but then again, she is racing with Andretti Racing, who are one of the better funded teams (and aiming to cash in on Danica mania).
Overall, she does seem to strike me as, at best, an average driver getting exceptional media coverage because she looks good in a bikini - if we were to go on looks alone, all the drivers would be left holding the number cards and it'd be the grid girls driving the cars.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:28

shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:Someone should block this thread to shinji.

You so funny, Phoenix!
Not.

What? You're only fifteen, and you're Irish! (don't take this joke unkindly please)

fjackdaw · Post by **fjackdaw** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:30

shinji wrote:
P_Friesacher wrote:
CarlosFerreira wrote:I sort-of resent the fact she'll pose like that. You'd never get Schumacher to do it, so why does she?

Sutil does. Well, not quite...

Yes, but that wasn't just blatantly taking advantage of his gender and sexually to pursue notability in a world where doing that is one of the most hazardous activities possible. It was posing with dolphins.

Yeah, he was just in his trunks. If Danica was in her swimming costume frolicking with dolphins, it would be a different matter (though in my minds eye, I can only picture her trying to harpoon them), it'd just be a photo op. The equivalent photo would be Adrian seductively opening his trousers to reveal his y-fronts!

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:30

I agree with those comments. If you're more worried about those fidgety things, you should ask yourself what you're doing there.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:32

Phoenix wrote:
shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:Someone should block this thread to shinji.

You so funny, Phoenix!
Not.

What? You're only fifteen, and you're Irish! (don't take this joke unkindly please)

Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:37

thehemogoblin wrote:Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

You should pay then, because I'm dire straits.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:39

Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

You should pay then, because I'm dire straits.

Have you tried converting dollars into Euros recently?

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:39

Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

You should pay then, because I'm dire straits.

Hemo's like the mommy and Phoenix is like the daddy.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:41

shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

You should pay then, because I'm dire straits.

Hemo's like the mommy and Phoenix is like the daddy.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. No. I'm the one in charge.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:44

thehemogoblin wrote:Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. No. I'm the one in charge.

Exactly. The mommy.

You made the ice cream suggestion and are the one I love more.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:45

shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Phoenix, if he does take unkindly to the joke, we can just take him out for ice cream afterward and he'll forget everything that happened.

You should pay then, because I'm dire straits.

Hemo's like the mommy and Phoenix is like the daddy.

My incipient Mansellesque moustache proves his point :lol:

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:48

Phoenix wrote:
shinji wrote:Hemo's like the mommy and Phoenix is like the daddy.

My incipient Mansellesque moustache proves his point

Probably means I should shave then...

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:54

shinji wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. No. I'm the one in charge.

Exactly. The mommy.

You made the ice cream suggestion and are the one I love more.

You've broken my heart, shinji. I was going to take you to a rugby match, with some lent money.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:55

Phoenix wrote:
shinji wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. No. I'm the one in charge.

Exactly. The mommy.

You made the ice cream suggestion and are the one I love more.

You've broken my heart, shinji. I was going to take you to a rugby match, with some lent money.

Lent money as in someone lent it to you, or as in money you got for Lent?

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 04 Feb 2010, 20:56

I was going to ask you the money while I looked up for a job to make my own money.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 04 Feb 2010, 21:08

Phoenix wrote:I was going to ask you the money while I looked up for a job to make my own money.

Dollar to Euro exchange rate is very prohibitive to me lending you money.

So is being in college.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 04 Feb 2010, 21:21

thehemogoblin wrote:
Phoenix wrote:I was going to ask you the money while I looked up for a job to make my own money.

Dollar to Euro exchange rate is very prohibitive to me lending you money.

So is being in college.

Here, out of all of us, I'm probably the wealthiest (not boasting, just a fair assumption), so I'll just pay for the ice cream myself.