The Preposterous Pastor Penalty Predicter Posting

[WeirdKerr]

Ok bit of fun for the summer break, Lets have your most preposterous penalties that you can think of for the master of disaster (or any other driver)

[Collieafc]

Penalty for winning another race - the FIA are so enraged/puzzled by Pastor winning they put a penalty down in fustration

[dr-baker]

He is able to pass so many cars in one race uneventfully that the stewards reckon that they must have missed something so penalise him anyway...

[shinji]

10 place grid penalty for marrying a woman who looks distressingly similar to himself.

[Londoner]

The Reverend finally concedes defeat in his battle with his receding hairline, and rocks up to Belgium with a close shaven head .The stewards DSQ him from FP1 for being underweight.

[AustralianStig]

Pastor gets a penalty for criticising the stewards for giving him a penalty.

[Alextrax52]

Pastor spills a drink in the Lotus Hospitality area. A fine for trying to damage paddock property

[Bobby Doorknobs]

The Reverend has a clean, consistent run of points finishes - gets banned after the points are mistaken for penalty points.

[FullMetalJack]

Pastor tweets about the penalty system

Gets a penalty

[LeytonHouse]

Saves another tank slapper vs Verstappen, gets a penalty for pointing his car at a dangerous 45 degree angle on the main straight.

[DanielPT]

Looks in the direction of the stewards somewhere in the race weekend, is slapped with a 5 seconds penalty.

Is called Pastor Maldonado? Drive-through penalty.

After retiring is somehow nominated steward for a race, eventually issuing a fine to himself for dishing out too many penalties.

[WeirdKerr]

After having a weekend where he is getting penalties, he is asked why do you think you are getting all these penalties the rev replies "is it cause I is pastor..." then gets slapped with a 10 place grid drop for the following race

[Fetzie]

Pastor turns up to watch a GP3 race, and the stewards penalize him for a crash because the TV director cuts to a camera on him while a crash happens. This penalty puts him over the points limit on his FIA super-licence, and he is banned for the next F1 race.

[tommykl]

A random driver causes an accident. When asked by the stewards what his excuse was, he jokes "I wanted to channel by inner Maldonado."

Pastor is deemed responsible and docked ten grid positions for the next race.

[CoopsII]

Each season the race circuits are contractually obliged to provide someone to stand on the pit straight and shoot at Maldonado as he drives past. This does not include free practice and is optional for qualifying.

[dinizintheoven]

This thread, and the race immediately before it, reminds me of an intended piece of comedy from They Think It's All Over that was more a piece of incisive commentary on the state of the Premiership at the time. It was something like:

"Arsenal 0, Liverpool 0, with two minutes of stoppage time to go at the end of the match. Thierry Henry had a clear run on goal, Jamie Carragher fouled him in the box! The referee blew his whistle, and awarded a penalty... to Manchester United."

All through the Hungarian Grand Prix I found myself thinking: what will happen for the incident between Rosberg and Ricciardo for "causing a collision"? What will happen to Max Verstappen for speeding in the pit lane? And what of all the transgressions in the GP2 race? The stewards looked at the evidence, and awarded a drive-through penalty... to Pastor Maldonado.

[Rob Dylan]

Each season the race circuits are contractually obliged to provide someone to stand on the pit straight and shoot at Maldonado as he drives past. This does not include free practice and is optional for qualifying.

I'm just imagining now Ben Edwards commenting on the FIA's positioning of the Tusken Raiders this year in relation to the DRS activation point compared to previous years, etc, etc.

[WeirdKerr]

Each season the race circuits are contractually obliged to provide someone to stand on the pit straight and shoot at Maldonado as he drives past. This does not include free practice and is optional for qualifying.

I'm just imagining now Ben Edwards commenting on the FIA's positioning of the Tusken Raiders this year in relation to the DRS activation point compared to previous years, etc, etc.

no, tusken raiders aren't accurate enough, what is needed is imperial stormtroopers....

[CoopsII]

Each season the race circuits are contractually obliged to provide someone to stand on the pit straight and shoot at Maldonado as he drives past. This does not include free practice and is optional for qualifying.

I'm just imagining now Ben Edwards commenting on the FIA's positioning of the Tusken Raiders this year in relation to the DRS activation point compared to previous years, etc, etc.

I had that in mind, actually. But then I thought if I go off on yet another Phantom Menace tangent I may end up suffering The Wrath Of Kh- Biscione.

[Rob Dylan]

Each season the race circuits are contractually obliged to provide someone to stand on the pit straight and shoot at Maldonado as he drives past. This does not include free practice and is optional for qualifying.

I'm just imagining now Ben Edwards commenting on the FIA's positioning of the Tusken Raiders this year in relation to the DRS activation point compared to previous years, etc, etc.

I had that in mind, actually. But then I thought if I go off on yet another Phantom Menace tangent I may end up suffering The Wrath Of Kh- Biscione.

All conversations lead to the Phantom Menace. It is known.

[Bobby Doorknobs]

All conversations lead to the Phantom Menace. It is known.

And so the forum has a new law to join HWNSNBM's Law, Baker's Law, Hughes' Law, Mecha's Law and any other laws I may have forgotten/never heard of:

Dylan's Law: The theory that, given enough time, all forum topics will ultimately descend into a discussion about the first Star Wars prequel.

[Rob Dylan]

All conversations lead to the Phantom Menace. It is known.

And so the forum has a new law to join HWNSNBM's Law, Baker's Law, Hughes' Law, Mecha's Law and any other laws I may have forgotten/never heard of:

Dylan's Law: The theory that, given enough time, all forum topics will ultimately descend into a discussion about the first Star Wars prequel.

I'm not familiar with ALL of these laws. Is one of them to do with the swimming horses, because I feel that law is necessary to mention

[wmetcalf7 4]

10 place grid penalty - Winning a GP (Stewards: "Wait, so you're telling me this guy has won a GP? ")

[Bobby Doorknobs]

All conversations lead to the Phantom Menace. It is known.

And so the forum has a new law to join HWNSNBM's Law, Baker's Law, Hughes' Law, Mecha's Law and any other laws I may have forgotten/never heard of:

Dylan's Law: The theory that, given enough time, all forum topics will ultimately descend into a discussion about the first Star Wars prequel.

I'm not familiar with ALL of these laws. Is one of them to do with the swimming horses, because I feel that law is necessary to mention

HWNSNBM's Law - Same principle as Dylan's Law, only with HWNSBM instead of The Phantom Menace.
Baker's Law - Same again, only with dr-baker's female predicament: http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law
Hughes' Law - And once again, the same idea, only with Jonathan Legard's commentary.
Mecha's Law - A departure from the other laws, this is more PMMF-related: Everything/Everyone that is inactive, that is related with the Perry McCarthy Memorial Forum, even for a short time, could be labeled by FMecha as AWOL.

As far as I know, there was no declaration of a Watka's Law...

[Nessafox]

I'm not familiar with ALL of these laws. Is one of them to do with the swimming horses, because I feel that law is necessary to mention

HWNSNBM's Law - Same principle as Dylan's Law, only with HWNSBM instead of The Phantom Menace.
Baker's Law - Same again, only with dr-baker's female predicament: http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law
Hughes' Law - And once again, the same idea, only with Jonathan Legard's commentary.
Mecha's Law - A departure from the other laws, this is more PMMF-related: Everything/Everyone that is inactive, that is related with the Perry McCarthy Memorial Forum, even for a short time, could be labeled by FMecha as AWOL.

As far as I know, there was no declaration of a Watka's Law...

The swimming horses one?

[WeirdKerr]

Maldonado get's a 10 place grid penalty at spa because this thread has gone off topic....

[FullMetalJack]

Maldonado announces his retirement.

Gets a 10-second penalty, and must wait 10 seconds to retire.

[dr-baker]

HWNSNBM's Law - Same principle as Dylan's Law, only with HWNSBM instead of The Phantom Menace.
Baker's Law - Same again, only with dr-baker's female predicament: http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law
Hughes' Law - And once again, the same idea, only with Jonathan Legard's commentary.
Mecha's Law - A departure from the other laws, this is more PMMF-related: Everything/Everyone that is inactive, that is related with the Perry McCarthy Memorial Forum, even for a short time, could be labeled by FMecha as AWOL.

As far as I know, there was no declaration of a Watka's Law...

Mine's the only one with a Wiki page?!

[Rob Dylan]

HWNSNBM's Law - Same principle as Dylan's Law, only with HWNSBM instead of The Phantom Menace.
Baker's Law - Same again, only with dr-baker's female predicament: <a class="linkification-ext" href="http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law" title="Linkification: http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law">http://formularejects.com/wiki/Baker%27s_Law</a>
Hughes' Law - And once again, the same idea, only with Jonathan Legard's commentary.
Mecha's Law - A departure from the other laws, this is more PMMF-related: Everything/Everyone that is inactive, that is related with the Perry McCarthy Memorial Forum, even for a short time, could be labeled by FMecha as AWOL.

As far as I know, there was no declaration of a Watka's Law...

Mine's the only one with a Wiki page?!

I'm just honoured to have a law named after me

[Fetzie]

To get this back on track:

Pastor Maldonado gets his normal driving license revoked due to excessive and repeated speeding up to 330 kph, and is fined and handed down a custodial sentence for reckless driving (cutting corners to hit the apex and causing the occasional collision). During Formula 1 races.

[DemocalypseNow]

Maldonado comes up behind lapped traffic, and is hindered as they continue to ignore the blue flags waved. Pastor is forced to consecutively serve three drive-through penalties, one for each backmarker that was blocking him. He is adjudged to have been speeding during the three penalties, and picks up another three drive-throughs. Disheartened by being many laps down at this point, he peels off into his garage, and is fined for parking in a restricted zone outwith allowed hours.

[AdrianSutil]

Paston turns up to the paddock in a hire-car driven by someone else, car parks in wrong place, gets a 5 place grid penalty

The chef in the Lotus hospitality area burns a steak that was meant for Pastor, gets a 10 place grid penalty

Pastor is doing a post-qualifying interview and another journalist sneezes near him, briefly halting his responce. Gets a drive-thru penalty.

Pastor's car develops a small misfire on race-day morning. The team quickly diagnose the problem and fix it without having to change any parts. Gets a 10 second stop-go penalty.

During the warm-up lap, a car stalls and is unable to be cleared from the grid in time, delaying the start. Gets 3 penalty points.

After the race, in which Paston has a very quiet drive to last place and 3 laps down due to penalties, he is disqualified for not winning the race.

[WeirdKerr]

Arrives at Spa but has to start the race from Zolder because Pastor reasons....