Grand Prix Rejects present: The Weekly Roast Thread

Post by **Ataxia** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:15

DISCLAIMER: This is meant to be in good fun. Please keep it comical; nothing below the belt.

You guys know how a roast works. The way this will work is as follows; you sign up to be roasted by us, the forumites. For a week, people will get to take the piss out of you. You'll then get the chance to get involved with jokes for the next roastee.

RULES:
Excessively personal remarks are unacceptable, and anything that gets too heavy will be removed (unless the roastee likes it rough).

Please don't use this as an excuse to post excessively. Although that's just a forum rule, really.

Please sign up to get roasted. If the thread descends into mayhem, I'll just delete it...so keep your zingers hilarious, on point and orderly.

Roast List:

Aerond (1/11 - 8/11)
Ataxia (8/11 - 15/11)
Simtek (15/11 - 22/11)
Klon (22/11 - 29/11)
V8fan12 (29/11 - 6/12)
tommykl (6/12 - 13/12)
Rob Dylan (13/12 - 20/12)
WaffleCat (20/12 - 27/12)

Aerond · Post by **Aerond** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:16

I'm up for it 1st

Post by **Bobby Doorknobs** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:17

Ah, why not? Sign me up!

V8fan12 · Post by **V8fan12** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:33

Alright here goes nothing

Post by **tommykl** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:44

Ah, go on, then.

Jan Magnussen · Post by **Rob Dylan** » 29 Oct 2015, 22:59

Bring it

WaffleCat · Post by **WaffleCat** » 29 Oct 2015, 23:45

I'm up for a roasting.

Post by **tommykl** » 30 Oct 2015, 17:02

Can I add one thing?

Usually, at the end of a roast, the roastee is allowed one final monologue responding to all the jokes made during the roast...

Post by **Ataxia** » 30 Oct 2015, 17:06

tommykl wrote:Can I add one thing?

Usually, at the end of a roast, the roastee is allowed one final monologue responding to all the jokes made during the roast...

I suppose we can have that...same rules apply.

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 31 Oct 2015, 21:43

As head honcho, I should probably be on the list...but leave me until the end! Season finale and all that :deletraz:

Post by **Miguel98** » 31 Oct 2015, 22:32

Why not? Get me rostaed... with some potatoes and rice if you don't mind...

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 01 Nov 2015, 03:40

Sure, why the hell not. Lot of people must have hidden frustrations which they can tell me whilst pretending it's a joke

Post by **Ataxia** » 01 Nov 2015, 10:02

I'll add you guys to the list later, just dropping in to say it's Aerond's roast this week.

You may begin.

roblo97 · Post by **roblo97** » 01 Nov 2015, 15:37

32k rel, need I say any more.

Post by **Ataxia** » 01 Nov 2015, 17:00

Aerond's wife must also suffer from 32k rel, because she never finishes either.

Post by **tommykl** » 01 Nov 2015, 17:01

As Aerond is Spanish, I get that he's entitled to a long siesta every day. It's a shame he only does it when he plans to run ARWS.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 01 Nov 2015, 17:44

Hey, old men need their sleep. You are as old as you feel, and the way aerond keeps banging on about the early 90s, he must feel like he's fifty.

Post by **Miguel98** » 01 Nov 2015, 17:59

Aerond really loves to bully me in order to feel accomplished with his life. Or maybe a lack of "power"... If you know what I mean.

Post by **Ataxia** » 02 Nov 2015, 17:49

You have to hand it to Aerond though, he's doing his best to defy the stereotype that all of the Spanish are unemployed. He works two jobs...and he STILL doesn't have any money.

Post by **tommykl** » 02 Nov 2015, 18:26

And don't forget that he's actively working on a third way to not make any money!

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 03 Nov 2015, 21:04

tommykl, you are underestimating aerond's intelligence (not that I blame you): his band are gonna make major cash. They will roll up to a shopping mall, play a song and then every store owner in the building will pay them to leave.

Post by **Ataxia** » 08 Nov 2015, 20:34

Aerond, you now have the chance to address each of those points, just keep it hilarious!

Now...it's time for...ME to be roasted. Gimme all you got.

Aerond · Post by **Aerond** » 08 Nov 2015, 20:45

roblomas52 wrote:32k rel, need I say any more.

no you don't; you just guessed RLR's future in ARWS

Ataxia wrote:Aerond's wife must also suffer from 32k rel, because she never finishes either.

and that's a good thing taxi, it allows me to spend all time I want doing what I like as I'm fortunate enough to suffer 0 rel; you know; black and white, ying and yang... you get the idea

tommykl wrote:As Aerond is Spanish, I get that he's entitled to a long siesta every day. It's a shame he only does it when he plans to run ARWS.

If I didn't I wouldn't be a true Spaniard

Klon wrote:Hey, old men need their sleep. You are as old as you feel, and the way aerond keeps banging on about the early 90s, he must feel like he's fifty.

hahahahah, spot on.

Miguel98 wrote:Aerond really loves to bully me in order to feel accomplished with his life. Or maybe a lack of "power"... If you know what I mean.

Is not lack of power; it's that I like to put people in place, therefore you must be reminded of what carrying the duncehat means in GPR. You remind me of Frodo, having to carry such a burden, with the difference yours is glued to the head, and cannot be thrown into a volcano.

Ataxia wrote:You have to hand it to Aerond though, he's doing his best to defy the stereotype that all of the Spanish are unemployed. He works two jobs...and he STILL doesn't have any money.

aaaaaaah... the irony of life, my friend!!
by the way; I was thinking of sending you (and tommykl) this:

Klon wrote:tommykl, you are underestimating aerond's intelligence (not that I blame you): his band are gonna make major cash. They will roll up to a shopping mall, play a song and then every store owner in the building will pay them to leave.

Hey, spot on!

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 08 Nov 2015, 23:25

Ataxia wrote:Now...it's time for...ME to be roasted. Gimme all you got.

We don't call you "Taxi" because it's short for "Ataxia", we call you that because random guys ride you all day long.

Post by **tommykl** » 11 Nov 2015, 12:50

Happy birthday to you, Ataxia! Celebrating a 22nd year without a job in motorsport!

Post by **Londoner** » 11 Nov 2015, 19:43

Ataxia makes this man seem like a beacon of positivity, sunshine and happiness.

For the unknowing, that's Thom Yorke, lead singer of one hit wonder band Radiohead

Aerond · Post by **Aerond** » 12 Nov 2015, 11:40

Ataxia... uuuuuhm... yep... that guy who sits in the corner fapping at two things:
- John Frusciante playing a song to him.
- The possibility of getting a job in motorsport.

Neither of those happening in the near future.

Post by **Miguel98** » 12 Nov 2015, 14:33

If Ataxia was a mathematical function, he would tend to negative infinite.

roblo97 · Post by **roblo97** » 12 Nov 2015, 20:22

Miguel98 wrote:If Ataxia was a mathematical function, he would tend to negative infinite.

If he was a book, Jude The Obscure by Thomas Hardy.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 13 Nov 2015, 05:27

Mocking ataxia feels redundant given as life already takes care of that.

AdrianBelmonte_ · Post by **AdrianBelmonte_** » 14 Nov 2015, 05:27

Let's get roasted

WaffleCat · Post by **WaffleCat** » 15 Nov 2015, 00:59

God don't need sitcoms in heaven. He just watches Ataxia's everyday life to get his kick of comedy.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 15 Nov 2015, 13:11

WaffleCat wrote:God don't need sitcoms in heaven. He just watches Ataxia's everyday life to get his kick of comedy.

Well, thankfully the Bible never claimed that He has a particularly good taste in comedy.

Post by **Ataxia** » 15 Nov 2015, 21:29

I just have a few things to say. First, thanks for all the jokes...I feel like you were expecting me to make some myself, but I refrained from doing so; I'm only allowed to talk about interesting things at the moment!

Biscione wrote:We don't call you "Taxi" because it's short for "Ataxia", we call you that because random guys ride you all day long.

At least it's a source of income...I also keep the meter running when people have to stop for a bit.

tommykl wrote:Happy birthday to you, Ataxia! Celebrating a 22nd year without a job in motorsport!

It'll be 23 next year...what a scary thought. Eurgh.

East Londoner wrote:Ataxia makes Thom Yorke seem like a beacon of positivity, sunshine and happiness.

I...agree.

Aerond wrote:Ataxia... uuuuuhm... yep... that guy who sits in the corner fapping at two things:
- John Frusciante playing a song to him.
- The possibility of getting a job in motorsport.

Neither of those happening in the near future.

Oh, please, the first one's SO 2012. The second one though...I have tried, but to quote Homer Simpson "they wanted somebody good".

Miguel98 wrote:If Ataxia was a mathematical function, he would tend to negative infinite.

roblomas52 wrote:If he was a book, Jude The Obscure by Thomas Hardy.

I had to google that. Definitely an Obscure reference.

Klon wrote:Mocking ataxia feels redundant given as life already takes care of that.

Oh, snap.

WaffleCat wrote:God don't need sitcoms in heaven. He just watches Ataxia's everyday life to get his kick of comedy.

It's like Black Books but with only Bernard.

Klon wrote:
Well, thankfully the Bible never claimed that He has a particularly good taste in comedy.

I dunno, there's a few things in there that you Germans might find quite funny.

ANYWAY, that's me done. Simtek is the man of the week now...so knock yourselves out!

WaffleCat · Post by **WaffleCat** » 17 Nov 2015, 14:43

Simtek's life is so mundane and so boring, no one could think of a joke for him over the past few days. If all of us were to have a conversation, we'd be going like:

"Now how can we make fun of Simtek?…."
"…we know he posts on GPR…"
"…and?"
"…eh, he's Irish."
"Anything else?"
"…nope, that's pretty much it."

Post by **Miguel98** » 17 Nov 2015, 18:45

Since he's irish, he's drunk?

Post by **Ataxia** » 17 Nov 2015, 19:05

The only reason Simtek studies film is because he can't actually read the books they're based on.

V8fan12 · Post by **V8fan12** » 17 Nov 2015, 19:17

Simtek is just sort of that guy who's there and doesn't say much. He could be an IRA operative for all we know.

Post by **Londoner** » 18 Nov 2015, 17:32

Simtek, oh yes, that guy who spends all his free time reading old threads on the forum...and absolutely nothing else of note. He could make Semtex seem boring.

Post by **Ataxia** » 20 Nov 2015, 11:50

V8fan12 wrote:Simtek is just sort of that guy who's there and doesn't say much. He could be an IRA operative for all we know.

Every time Simtek watches a McLaren pull over at the side of the road, it's just another job well done for him.