But, I digress. It's the Italian Grand Prix this weekend, and the grandstands at Monza are historically bedecked in Rossa Corsa in deference to the Ferrari team - or in other words, more red than an elevator at the Overlook Hotel.
![Image](http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/nhpr/files/styles/medium/public/201404/tumblr_m067y75GXP1rnn734o1_500.jpg)
The grandstands at Monza, 2016.
Italy is a world-renowned boot-shaped country - in fact, the first high-heeled boots were invented when Professor S. Hughes stared at a globe and thought "this would look perfect on my wife's foot". The sport of football was also invented when Prof. Hughes returned to his globe-based musings and thought "yes, this would make for an entertaining past-time". God knows what he thought when he got to Sardinia.
![Image](https://www.truthdig.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/111111-c_s-500.jpg)
Is this one of them satires? I'm not smart enough to know.
The home to many famous culinary exports, Italy is world-renowned for its pasta, pizza and gelato. However, if you ask for Dolmio they'll probably punch you in the face. Pesto was also invented in Italy, and it's the best thing ever so shut up it's amazing.
![Image](http://www.simplyrecipes.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/basil-pesto-horiz-b-600-dm.jpg)
bae
![Image](http://s3.amazonaws.com/pix.iemoji.com/twit33/0752.png)
![Image](http://s3.amazonaws.com/pix.iemoji.com/twit33/0752.png)
In motorsport, Italy has a rich and varied history. Formula 1 played host to successful, luxurious marques such as Ferrari, Alfa Romeo and Maserati, and affluency-challenged teams such as Minardi, Forti, Osella, Coloni, Life, Scuderia Italia, Eurobrun and Fondmetal...there wasn't ever really a middle-ground team, was there?
![Image](http://www.forzaminardi.com/test/img/home/1996-1.jpg)
And that's Lavaggi getting into the post there. The Minardi M195B was a beautiful piece of kit and I dare anyone else to tell me otherwise.
Currently, Italy fields no F1 drivers, although Antonio Giovinazzi took part in a pair of races at the start of the season when Pascal Wehrlein had a hairline...fracture. For the purposes of that joke, I hope it was that. God, that sounds awful. I'm horrible. Gio - as he's known to everyone who can't get over the fact that his name ends with "nazzi" - had a scintillating debut with Sauber, before dropping it in the same place at Shanghai, earning him the nickname "bull in a China shop".
![Image](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/854954579431231488/sbTDgdD9.jpg)
Am I the only one who thinks Gio looks a little bit like Harry Kane?
However, Ferrari's the team that all the locals root for. After years of hating Sebastian Vettel, his move to Ferrari prompted the fans to make a bigger U-turn than Theresa May on...well, most parliamentary issues, really. (Again with the politics...)
Monza often produces the shortest races on the calendar and, in recent years at least, haven't really yielded anything interesting. I remember two Saubers battling once in 2015. That's genuinely about it.
So, there's your whistle-stop tour of Italia, not to be confused with Bella Italia or italics. Prego.