Larry Koopaling, Mario Kart's newest world champion
As the global recession hits the Marioverse, the series that has everyone and their dog talking is back to blow the minds of the racing fans of the world. It's alt-Mario Kart, and nothing bad ever happens in Alt-Mario Kart!
News
As mentioned, the biggest news that has come since the end of 2008, and the success of a brand new team and driver, is the global recession. Prices are skyrocketing and business stocks are plummeting. Mario Kart, in all its excess, is going to have to do some navel-gazing. As the MIA looks at cost-saving measures, let's look at how the teams are shaping up for the new season.
Galactic won the championship in their "debut" season, having risen from the ashes of Koopra Kids to do their own thing. The nearlyman for about a decade, Larry Koopa finally caught his big break and took it with both hands to convincingly win the Mario Kart championship on his first real try. His teammate Goombella started off a little rough, and never looked like she was within a chance of taking the championship herself. However, some late-season heroics and two wins out of 16 meant that Chunky Kong was happy enough to re-sign both her and Larry for the new season. They are the most confident team coming into the new year, as well as the first one to have both drivers signed.
Mitsuyoshi didn't dominate the way that they had done in 2007. They did well to best the new rules, even if there was mid-season development necessary to really get the best out of the kart. In the hands of Toad Toadstool they were quite the menace of the mid-season, and in his hands they took five wins in seven races. However, at the death, his challenge unravelled and he had to settle for second place overall for the third time in his career. Defending champion Dixie Kong only took three podiums and a pole, and all of those in the second half of the season. She failed to get on top of the new regulations, and was quite soundly defeated by her teammate. Will the temperamental relationship between herself and her boss Yoshisaur continue to erupt, or will they go for someone new?
Red Bowser inherited third place overall after SOP-M's disqualification, meaning that they were a distant third. However, they are surely happy to take the money. Bowser Jr. again led the team in the points, but it was Mark Wiggler who took the highest highs, winning from pole at Moo Moo Meadows in only his second race after returning to the championship. One assumes that Jr.'s name is already on the contract, but will RB continue with Wiggler? Will they genuinely improve enough to fight for this year's championship? Time will tell.
Équipe Luigier had yet another one of their seasons. Princess Daisy von Sarasaland returned and had a fantastic run with multiple podiums and even a pole, before calling it a day in motorsport altogether and retiring. Her husband and team owner Luigi Mario had a less than stellar season, with a surprise win at Koopa Cape being the team's only victory all year. Like RB, they are there or thereabouts, and really need some kind of inspiration to get back to the top of the championship table for 2009. Who will be their next star? Rumours say Sonic...
One of the biggest shocks in a shocking 2008 season was the great run for King Boo Motorsports. KBM, after dropping 2005 MK champion Pipsy Astromouse, replaced her with 2006 champion Banjo-Kazooie. B-K rewarded King Boo with a pole at the opening round, while Boo himself managed another two podiums in the later stages of the year. A top ten finish overall in the championship, and with momentum on their side, KBM are hoping to at the very least hold on to their position as they perfect their chassis under the new rules. Surprisingly uncontroversial for MK's most controversial character (since Mario left).
Another team to shock at the opening round was Birdette Saurian. Rumours abounded that Mitsuyoshi, having taken partial control of the team, was going to run it into the ground and use it as a pen for its young drivers. However, with top-flight engines and tyres, the team took a podium and sixth place, beating former giants DPRK over a full season. Neither Toadette nor Mitsuyoshi's preferred Yellowsaurus disappointed, and Birdo had her strongest season in quite many years. Another team whose future is completely uncertain for the coming year.
DPRK were probably the biggest losers in the regulation changes. After challenging for multiple championships in a row, this time they were lucky to finish seventh. Both drivers seemed to hate qualifying, and would spend most of their races having incidents in the midfield. A podium at Rainbow Road was a lovely way to end the season, but it did nothing to mask that DPRK have gone backwards massively. They are the team to watch, whether or not they can recover their pace and their dignity. Much like with Luigier, their star drivers is now retiring, so who will take Peach's place?
Crygorti Corse scored points and even beat the hapless Koopra Sport. It wasn't quite as strong as their amazing 2006 debut year, but it might just be enough to see them through to another season. The main question is how much of their independence can they afford to keep, given the financial crisis and their slim budget? Will ROB return? Will he seek other offers? The team has had a useful bubble of isolation as they have tried to perfect managing themselves, but that honeymoon looks to be coming to an end soon.
The worst of all teams was Koopra Sport. Something happened that they forgot to design a decent car for 2008. Kokkoro had taken three consecutive podiums in 2007, and had been leading the championship at times in 2006. Last season, she took two points finishes and was last overall, never even troubling the worthwhile positions all year. It's been a dramatic downhill spiral for her, and she scored three points to Pacman's 18. Pacman is in a similar boat to ROB in that he might start to seek work elsewhere if things are going to continue as they are this season.
While they were not the slowest team, SOP-M were morally the worst team of 2008. They cheated for 13 races by copying Mitsuyoshi's designs of their kart. They lied about Sonic's age to get him into the sport a year early. They employed Mario Mario to do this. And Para Troopa, team principal, won the MKDA election and so got away with his own fraud Scot-free. The team at least was demoted to last, and they will not receive prize money. The team will also be forced to continue where they left off with their own subpar chassis. Mario is out, and Sonic is out. It can only get better.
Meanwhile, in the junior series, Candy Kong won the MotoFP championship in 2007 after a sixteen-race campaign. It was a year-long fight between herself, Lemmy Koopa, and Estela Rosalina. All three drivers towered above the rest of the competition, and this writer imagines that they will be hot stuff to teams eager to hire new blood. Mark Wiggler showed that these junior series do provide top-tier talents.
The Grid
Galactic Kong Racing
Team Principal: Chunky Kong
#1: Larry Koopa
#2: Goombella
Mitsuyoshi Buntai
Team Principal: Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas
#3: Toad Toadstool
#4:
Red Bowser Racing
Team Principal: Donkard Kong Jr.
Senior Advisor: Bowser Koopa
#5:
#6:
Équipe Luigier
Team Principal: Luigi Mario
#7:
#8:
King Boo Motorsports
Team Principal: King Boo
#9: King Boo
#10:
Birdette Saurian
Team Principal: Birdetta Birdo
#11: Birdetta Birdo
#12: Yellowsaurus H. Koopabitas
Donkard Peach Racing Kongection
Team Principal: Peach Toadstool
Technical Director: Funky Kong
#14:
#15:
Crygorti Corse
Team Principal: Victor Crygor
#16:
#17:
Koopra Sport
Team Principal: Kooper Troopa
#18: Kokkoro Toudou
#19:
Unnamed Para Troopa team
Team Principal: Para Troopa
#20:
#21:
MotoFP riders:
#22: Ludwig Koopa (spons. Galactic)
#23:
#24:
#25:
#26:
#27:
#28:
#29:
#30:
#31:
#32:
#33:
New Rules
- As a bid to save money, Mario Kart and MotoFP are going to be combining both their drivers/riders and their calendars. From 2009, Mario Kart will have 12 riders competing for the same set of positions, with a planned 32-race championship.
- Teams will get to sponsor a junior driver that they see promise in, to run them as riders in the MotoFP class.
Calendar
Mushroom Cup
1. Luigi Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
2. Moo Moo Meadows [Mushroom Kingdom]
3. Mushroom Gorge [Mushroom Kingdom]
4. Moo Moo Meadows [Mushroom Kingdom]
Shell Cup:
5. Peach Beach [Mushroom Kingdom]
6. Yoshi Falls [Yoshi's Island]
7. Ghost Valley 2 [Yoshi's Island]
8. Mario Raceway [Mushroom Kingdom]
Flower Cup:
9. Mario Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
10. Coconut Mall [Mushroom Kingdom]
11. DK Summit [Donkey Kong Country]
12. Wario's Gold Mine [Diamond City]
Banana Cup:
13. Sherbet Land [Sherbet Land]
14. Shy Guy Beach [Yoshi's Island]
15. Delfino Square [Isle Delfino]
16. Waluigi Stadium [Mushroom Kingdom]
Star Cup:
17. Daisy Circuit [Sarasaland]
18. Koopa Cape [Koopa Kingdom]
19. Maple Treeway [Gold Leaf Galaxy]
20. Grumble Volcano [Donkey Kong Country]
Leaf Cup:
21. Desert Hills [Yoshi's Island]
22. Bowser's Castle [Koopa Kingdom]
23. DK's Jungle Parkway [Donkey Kong Country]
24. Mario Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
Special Cup:
25. Dry Dry Ruins [Yoshi's Island]
26. Moonview Highway [Mushroom Kingdom]
27. Bowser's Castle [Koopa Kingdom]
28. Rainbow Road [Space]
Lightning Cup:
29. Mario Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
30. Peach Gardens [Mushroom Kingdom]
31. DK Mountain [Donkey Kong Country]
32. Bowser's Castle [Koopa Kingdom]
Phase 1 (1992-1995) records
Phase 2 (1996-2002) records
Phase 3 (2003-2007) records
Phase 4 (current) records
