Grand Prix Rejects

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

QuickYoda41 wrote:What about this?

Vettel-Webber-Hamilton-Button-Alonso before the last lap. That would mean Seb's title, but after the Red Bulls take the chequered flag, one of the McLarens goes out, and Alonso wins it.

Nooooo, I don't like it.

eytl wrote:If it came down to Vettel ceding a position to Webber for Mark to win the title, even I (firmly in the pro-Webber camp) would suggest that Vettel leave it as late as possible, until it seems clear that his chances have really diminished. You could have an Austria-2002 style finish. In which case Webber will take the title in very controversial circumstances, and many will always say that he only took the title with help and doesn't deserve it. Add to the fact that if Alonso pips them both then everyone will be referring back to Hockenheim. There is a high possibility that we'll end up with a points winner but, in many's eyes, a moral loser.

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

Klon wrote:

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

I like you, you have style, if you don't mind the compliment. A very tempting scenario and I would love to see it.

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

Ferrim wrote:

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

Lap 51: Vettel leads Webber by 2 seconds and Alonso by 10 seconds.

[Team Radio]
Vettel's engineer (VE): Seb, time to switch your differential settings to position 2, repeat, differential settings to position 2.
Sebastian Vettel (SV): understood.

Lap 52: Vettel suddenly slows down at the exit of the hairpin, until his car is completely stopped. Webber misses him by an inch and goes into the lead. Vettel starts pushing again, but he's clearly going slow.

[Team Radio]
VE: what's going on, Seb?
SV: the engine is losing power, the engine is losing power! [using the Buemi "noooooooooooooooo" kind of voice]
VE: we can't see anything wrong in the telemetry!
SV: I can't change gears anymore!

Alonso gets past Vettel and is now second, position that gives him the title. Suddenly, as they enter the next corner, there's a explosion and a big cloud of white smoke pops from behind his car; his engine has died. Vettel, who was right behind him, can't see anything, spins in the oil as he exits the corner and barely avoides crashing against Alonso's car.

[Team Radio]
Fernando Alonso (FA): What the hell?
Andrea Stella (AS, Alonso's engineer): Iur enyin has given ap, iur enyin has given ap! Guat a disastar! Porca miseria!
FA: To think that I've brought you my six tenths, and this is the way you pay me back? This is a conspiracy, you are supporting Hamilton! I'm gonna break a couple of doors as soon as I get back to the motorhome! You bastards!

Lap 53: Webber leads Vettel by 10 seconds.

[Team Radio]
Webber's engineer (WE): Alonso is out and we are first and second! This is all over, mate, just stay on the black!
Christian Horner (CH): I suggest a rethinking of the situation, as we let Mark through based on the fact that Alonso was third, now that Alonso's out...
WE: Are you kidding me?!
CH: Mark, change your fuel settings to position 4. Change your fuel settings to position 4.
Mark Webber (MW): Uh? That's what we use in qualifying to exploit the blown diffuser! It will kill the engine in two laps!
CH: Sorry Mark, that was a mistake. But you should know that Sebastian is faster than you, Sebastian is faster than you, do you understand that message?
MW: How on Earth can he be faster if he spun on the previous lap?
CH: I repeat, Sebastian is faster than you!

(10 seconds later)
CH: Mark? Mark, do you understand that message?
MW: Sorry, I can't hear you well, the radio is not working well!

Lap 54: Vettel sets the fastest lap of the race, his engine problems apparently cured, but he's still 8 seconds behind with 2 laps to go.

[Team Radio]
CH: Mark, we've checked the radio and all it's okay. Please, move your energetic-sponsored terrestrial vehicle to position 2 in the relative positions list of terrestrial vehicles currently holding station around the track. Please, move your energetic-sponsored terrestrial vehicle...
WE: This is outrageous! You can't do this! The FIA will punish you and...

Helmut Marko (HM) handles a punch to the engineer and takes his position at the wall

HM (with a heavily Austrian accent): I am yourr rrace engineerr, Marrk, I am yourr rrace enngineerr, the otherr guy was ann innterrferrennce. Yourr carr has some kind of trrouble and will nnot last the distannce unless you suddenly slow downn. Please slow downn.
MW: I already knew you all were a bunch of idiots, but this really goes beyond imagination!
CH: Ok Mark, let's be clear. [With an attempt at a French accent] Let Sebastian pass for the Championship, let Sebastian pass for the Championship!
MW: I can't hear you, the radio doesn't work! All I can hear is a French guy! Sorry!


Lap 55: As Webber crosses the line to start the last lap, he sees one of Vettel's mechanics up the pit wall, with a very big blackboard that reads: YOU ARE PUTTING AT A RISK YOUR POSITION ON THE TEAM.

Meanwhile, several guys from the Vettel's side of the garage jump the pit wall and start running down the track, in an attempt to stop Webber before he completes the lap. As he approaches to the final corner, Webber sees a few of them and quickly decides to enter the pitlane and complete the race through it, which he does a few seconds before the few mechanics still remaining in the garage manage to stop him.

A few meters down the road, Vettel's engine explodes, as he was making his way between the mechanics.

Alonso arrives to the motorhome and punches Domenicali on the face.

Webber announces his retirement.

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:

Ferrim wrote:

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

Lap 51: Vettel leads Webber by 2 seconds and Alonso by 10 seconds.

[Team Radio]
Vettel's engineer (VE): Seb, time to switch your differential settings to position 2, repeat, differential settings to position 2.
Sebastian Vettel (SV): understood.

Lap 52: Vettel suddenly slows down at the exit of the hairpin, until his car is completely stopped. Webber misses him by an inch and goes into the lead. Vettel starts pushing again, but he's clearly going slow.

[Team Radio]
VE: what's going on, Seb?
SV: the engine is losing power, the engine is losing power! [using the Buemi "noooooooooooooooo" kind of voice]
VE: we can't see anything wrong in the telemetry!
SV: I can't change gears anymore!

Alonso gets past Vettel and is now second, position that gives him the title. Suddenly, as they enter the next corner, there's a explosion and a big cloud of white smoke pops from behind his car; his engine has died. Vettel, who was right behind him, can't see anything, spins in the oil as he exits the corner and barely avoides crashing against Alonso's car.

[Team Radio]
Fernando Alonso (FA): What the hell?
Andrea Stella (AS, Alonso's engineer): Iur enyin has given ap, iur enyin has given ap! Guat a disastar! Porca miseria!
FA: To think that I've brought you my six tenths, and this is the way you pay me back? This is a conspiracy, you are supporting Hamilton! I'm gonna break a couple of doors as soon as I get back to the motorhome! You bastards!

Lap 53: Webber leads Vettel by 10 seconds.

[Team Radio]
Webber's engineer (WE): Alonso is out and we are first and second! This is all over, mate, just stay on the black!
Christian Horner (CH): I suggest a rethinking of the situation, as we let Mark through based on the fact that Alonso was third, now that Alonso's out...
WE: Are you kidding me?!
CH: Mark, change your fuel settings to position 4. Change your fuel settings to position 4.
Mark Webber (MW): Uh? That's what we use in qualifying to exploit the blown diffuser! It will kill the engine in two laps!
CH: Sorry Mark, that was a mistake. But you should know that Sebastian is faster than you, Sebastian is faster than you, do you understand that message?
MW: How on Earth can he be faster if he spun on the previous lap?
CH: I repeat, Sebastian is faster than you!

(10 seconds later)
CH: Mark? Mark, do you understand that message?
MW: Sorry, I can't hear you well, the radio is not working well!

Lap 54: Vettel sets the fastest lap of the race, his engine problems apparently cured, but he's still 8 seconds behind with 2 laps to go.

[Team Radio]
CH: Mark, we've checked the radio and all it's okay. Please, move your energetic-sponsored terrestrial vehicle to position 2 in the relative positions list of terrestrial vehicles currently holding station around the track. Please, move your energetic-sponsored terrestrial vehicle...
WE: This is outrageous! You can't do this! The FIA will punish you and...

Helmut Marko (HM) handles a punch to the engineer and takes his position at the wall

HM (with a heavily Austrian accent): I am yourr rrace engineerr, Marrk, I am yourr rrace enngineerr, the otherr guy was ann innterrferrennce. Yourr carr has some kind of trrouble and will nnot last the distannce unless you suddenly slow downn. Please slow downn.
MW: I already knew you all were a bunch of idiots, but this really goes beyond imagination!
CH: Ok Mark, let's be clear. [With an attempt at a French accent] Let Sebastian pass for the Championship, let Sebastian pass for the Championship!
MW: I can't hear you, the radio doesn't work! All I can hear is a French guy! Sorry!


Lap 55: As Webber crosses the line to start the last lap, he sees one of Vettel's mechanics up the pit wall, with a very big blackboard that reads: YOU ARE PUTTING AT A RISK YOUR POSITION ON THE TEAM.

Meanwhile, several guys from the Vettel's side of the garage jump the pit wall and start running down the track, in an attempt to stop Webber before he completes the lap. As he approaches to the final corner, Webber sees a few of them and quickly decides to enter the pitlane and complete the race through it, which he does a few seconds before the few mechanics still remaining in the garage manage to stop him.

A few meters down the road, Vettel's engine explodes, as he was making his way between the mechanics.

Alonso arrives to the motorhome and punches Domenicali on the face.

Webber announces his retirement.

This is the most hilarious thing I've ever read! Who wound up winning?

Wizzie wrote:Schumacher

Klon wrote:

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

I like you, you have style, if you don't mind the compliment. A very tempting scenario and I would love to see it.

Aerond wrote:Better yet, in that same scenario, vettel and webber crash in last lap with vettel trying to have the win back, and hamilton wins the race and the championship

I AM OK WITH THIS

LionZoo wrote:If you want drama, imagine a scenario where Vettel is first, Webber second, and Alonso third with a few laps remaining in Abu Dhabi. In order to bring the driver's championship home, Red Bull reluctantly has Vettel switch positions with Webber. Then, two laps from the end Alonso's engine blows up which results in Helmut Marko frantically trying to order Webber to cede the position back to Vettel, which Webber ignores. The race and (most exciting) season (ever) ends with a brawl on the podium between Vettel, Webber, Marko, and Horner.

CarlosFerreira wrote:

eytl wrote:If it came down to Vettel ceding a position to Webber for Mark to win the title, even I (firmly in the pro-Webber camp) would suggest that Vettel leave it as late as possible, until it seems clear that his chances have really diminished. You could have an Austria-2002 style finish. In which case Webber will take the title in very controversial circumstances, and many will always say that he only took the title with help and doesn't deserve it. Add to the fact that if Alonso pips them both then everyone will be referring back to Hockenheim. There is a high possibility that we'll end up with a points winner but, in many's eyes, a moral loser.

We certainly will, but you won't find me, personally, in that camp. The winner of a Formula 1 World Driver's Championship is the person with the most points in the end, or on count-back. F1 is a team sport; F1 Championships are won by a combination of drivers, cars and teams. To say the contrary is to posit that men such as Mansell, Hill, Villeneuve, Button, even Mika Hakkinen didn't deserve their championships. Wrong. The person with the most points is a worthy victor, even if it's Sebastien "who-hoo" Vettel

watka wrote:Lap 1: Jenson Button accidentally on purpose makes a false start from 10th on the grid, outbrakes himself into the first corner, and slams into both Red Bulls and Alonso to instantly take them out of the race.

Lap 2-55: Lewis Hamilton coasts to an easy victory and world championship number 2.

madmark1974 wrote:With the way the McLarens have been performing recently, I can't see either of them managing to get / stay ahead of Alonso, but similarly, I can't see Alonso finishing
higher than 3rd unless something happens to the Red Bulls. It has to be Webber's title, doesn't it?

Does anyone think he will stay with Red Bull if he wins the title? Alienated by the team management, wouldn't he like to take the No. 1 (& 2) plate to a different team?

> Renault in place of Petrov????

DonTirri wrote: Or do a Prost and retire as the champ? That way we'd see Vettel on the no.0 car next year (Fun Fact: Damon Hill is the only driver ever to have driven the No.0 car, and he had to do it twice in a row )

DonTirri wrote: Or do a Prost and retire as the champ? That way we'd see Vettel on the no.0 car next year (Fun Fact: Damon Hill is the only driver ever to have driven the No.0 car, and he had to do it twice in a row )

F1000X wrote:

Aerond wrote:Better yet, in that same scenario, vettel and webber crash in last lap with vettel trying to have the win back, and hamilton wins the race and the championship

I AM OK WITH THIS

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

Shizuka wrote:But Ferrari gives them their engines, so this is a lose-lose situation.

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

Benetton wrote:

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

What?? They'd hold up the Ferraris of course. Because if they already have an engine deal with them for next year, Ferrari would have to terminate the contract illegally if they don't want to continue to supply engines. And hah, Red Bull can always get Toro Rosso some new engines.

dr-baker wrote:

Benetton wrote:

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

What?? They'd hold up the Ferraris of course. Because if they already have an engine deal with them for next year, Ferrari would have to terminate the contract illegally if they don't want to continue to supply engines. And hah, Red Bull can always get Toro Rosso some new engines.

Eh? A new engine contract this late into developing next year's car? Brawn admitted that there were compromises made forcing a Merc into the 2009 car. Do you think STR would want to risk that?

eagleash wrote:

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

Everyone. Same as usual.

Wizzie wrote:

eagleash wrote:

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

Everyone. Same as usual.

Or they'll find a way to take all 3 of them out.

CarlosFerreira wrote:

Wizzie wrote:

eagleash wrote:
Everyone. Same as usual.

Or they'll find a way to take all 3 of them out.

I wouldn't trust those two spanners to block a pipe with a cork. Besides - are Buemi and the Saurus running their last F1 races on Sunday?

Wizzie wrote:

CarlosFerreira wrote:
I wouldn't trust those two spanners to block a pipe with a cork. Besides - are Buemi and the Saurus running their last F1 races on Sunday?

Unless someone buys STR and fires the pair of them no. Either way both of them have shown that Red Bull are doing absolutely nothing to refine either of them... the same could apply to Sebastien Vettel...

eagleash wrote:

dr-baker wrote:Hypothetical situation:

The two Red Bulls and Alonso are running a very close 1-2-3, seperated by less than 2 seconds, and they come to lap the two Toro Rosso-Ferraris, both also running in close proximity to each other. Let's say, to make it plausible and intersting, there are only 5-10 laps of the race left. In previous years, customer teams would be called upon to "delay" the rivals of their "parent" team, particularly in a championship-deciding situation. Who do the two Toro Rosso Feraris "accidently" hold up in this situation?

Everyone. Same as usual.