F1RMGP presents: The 24 Hour V8 Bathurst Enduro 2014

[DemocalypseNow]

Did they fit stabiliers to that damn commie shitbox?! How has it not rolled over at Reid Park yet? I've even done that while driving a Commodore! Blimey...

[dr-baker]

Euuuuuggghhhh. Still recovering from all my jet-lag and severe case of Dehli belly. But it does look like most people were a bit slower today than yesterday, so I reckon our pole will be safe. I just hope I don't let the side down too much when it comes to the race. Now, please excuse me. I have a prior appointment with Thomas Crapper and Armitage Shanks....

[Salamander]

Well done, 2003 James Davies! I guess that NASCAR experience was good for something!

I'd like to thank all my sponsor's, my crew, my--

I'm sorry, that's all we have time for, we have to set up the car for the next session.

But-

No time for chit-chat.

[dinizintheoven]

Breaking after-the-last-minute news: West Cliff secure new sponsorship

After Douglas Mann's heroic performance in actually being able to drive the West Cliff DeLorean at all after his severe illness, West Cliff have been unexpectedly courted by new sponsors, in the form of Armitage Shanks. However, so as not to spoil the stainless steel bodywork of the car, the sponsor's triangular logos will only be seen in the centre of the hubcaps. So that they are actually visible during the race, the hubcaps will be mounted on spinners, in much the way that can be seen on a Rolls-Royce Phantom or a vulgar American SUV that's been tarted up by some kid "from da ghetto, innit" to look like it's been bought by a rapper.

Rumours that the West Cliff mechanics have traded in their Doc Brown wigs for yellow sunglasses, a shell suit, lots of Argos jewellery and a what looks like a rubber swimming cap are completely unfounded.

[TomWazzleshaw]

What is this bathpluggery? I moved over to the dark side for one race to get a half-decent car and I get THIS? No bathplugging wonder I hated Ford as a kid.

[Nessafox]

Things are going well here in Austria. Trabant has sold the astonishing amount of 34.433 brand new cars! Model cars, that is. Given as collector items when buying Cillit Bang! Nevertheless, our mission to eliminate capitalism, and dirt, is succeeding!

[dinizintheoven]

Aaaaaaand on to the final session. Despite the forum downtime, we're only going to be two days behind, which is good in my book.

QUALIFYING SESSION 3
Friday, 12 December 2014

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1   11  Valkyrie Racing / Holden                      R. Karlsson        2'07.278*
2   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         C. Dagnall         2'07.678
3   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  A. Powell          2'07.749
4   13  Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team / Trabant   R. Moreno          2'07.838*
5   19  Virgin Melrose Racing Team / Ford             M. Macklin         2'08.007*
6   16  Leyton Dome Engineering / Nissan              B. Giacomelli      2'08.426
7   12  Red Bull World Race Team / Holden             D. Hallenstein     2'08.435
8   33  Team Sunshine Infiniti / Nissan               F. Barbazza        2'09.076
9   1   Viking Racing / Holden                        S. Johansson       2'10.005
10  27  Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni / Holden      T. D'Alberto       2'10.135
11  23  Scuderia Minardivas / Ford                    M. Mouton          2'10.346
12  34  Psycho Soldiers / Ford                        Y. Mitsui          2'10.565*
13  15  Pac Racing Team / Nissan                      T. Glock           2'10.649

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14  7   Team James Davies / Nissan                    J. Davies III      2'10.726
15  21  Zombie Conglomerate / Ford                    P. Senerson        2'10.729
16  8   Super Aguri Enduro / Nissan                   U. Katayama        2'10.857
17  25  Gillet Ecurie Nationale Belge / Holden        L. Seron           2'10.933
18  17  Aeroracing Engineering / Nissan               R. McAllister      2'10.979
19  36  Team Ultimate / Holden                        S. Prost           2'11.116
20  6   Gulf Oils Ford Australia Racing Team / Ford   A. Yoong           2'11.244
21  4   Autobacs Nippon Racing Team / Nissan          J. Cochet          2'11.704
22  29  Virgin Melrose Racing Team B / Ford           A. Reyna-Sanchez   2'12.224
23  2   Holden Racing Team / Holden                   N. Percat          2'12.385
24  20  Foxdale Auto Racing Team / Holden             B. Fleet           2'12.517
25  32  Apollonia GT Racing by Hydook / Ford          P. Kralev          2'12.522
26  31  Telecom Italia Trueba Corse / Nissan          G. Amati           2'13.073

Hey! Ho! Let's go! Said Ramona one day, in a sort-of-shoutout to the band with a similar name, and go she did... to the head of the timesheets for the Friday. Even though it was mildly damp, which scuppered a number of the other competitors, Ramona sailed through the testing conditions to post a time that would be good enough for fifth on the overall grid, barely half a tenth behind her more illustrious counterparts in the Viking Team. So, it was a Valkyrie on Friday's pole, Chris Dagnall doing a superb job in the F1RM Ford, and he found himself in a female sandwich, as Alice Powell did what she'd done since her entrance into the F1RMGP Women's European Cup, and pulled out a blinder of a performance – not as much as Martin McFry's, but third on this grid in a car 12 years older than she is, that's some achivement. Behind her was the other experimental car, the Cillit Bang! Trabant, driven to fourth by Roberto Moreno to improve that team's place on the overall grid. The Trabbie may be the least powerful car on the grid, but that's what having a top-drawer driver line-up will do for you. Mitchell Macklin proved his credentials from winning F2RWRS this year, shoving the Virgin MRT Ford into fifth. Leyton Dome, with the outgoing Bruno Giacomelli, were the highest-placed Nissan, all eight of them soundly thrashed by the Trabant – let's hope the management don't commit seppuku over that! Dieter Hallenstein was the last driver in the 2'08s for the Red Bull World Race Team, with Fabrizio Barbazza in the Sunshine Nissan the only driver to record a time in the 2'09s. This put the rejectful 2'10s barrier at ninth place, which was occupied by Stefan Johansson, still shaking off the rust from his time on the sidelines managing the Viking Racing team. Tony D'Alberto lined up next in the SAAC Holden, followed by Michèle Mouton in the Scuderia Minardivas Ford – just like the story of her F1RMGP WEC season, she really should have done better. Also from the WEC was Yuri Mitsui, who managed to drag the Psycho Soldiers Ford into 12th – artificially high, you'd say, given the cars behind her who had disaoopinted somewhat – but even so, that's more evidence that her time in the WEC was cut too short too soon. Timo Glock rounded out the top half of the grid, trundling around in a Marussia in F1 having not done him a power of good.

James Davies III, the latest incarnation, started the second half of the grid, beating Peter Senerson's Zombie Conglomerate Ford, Ukyo Katayama's Super Aguri-branded Nissan, the usually-rejectful Laurent Seron in the patriotically Belgian Holden, and Rory McAllister in the Aeroracing Nissan. From here started the 2'11s – Team Ultimate, the Gulf Oils Ford and the Autobacs Nissan were all mired in this band, which is now seriously reject territory, as only one team has failed to clear the 2'11 barrier over all three sessions. Terrifyingly far back were the cars in the 2'12s, affected more by the light drizzle than most, but then again, maybe they're not the world's finest drivers. Among these four we find Antonio Reyna-Sanchez in Virgin MRT's second squadron, Aussie V8 Supercars regular Nick Percat, terrifyingly far back for Holden Racing Team, which might earn him a slap from the hologrammatic hand of Peter Brock, then Ben Fleet, known for a legendary string of DNPQs in F1RGP2C in a pathetic Pacific and third from last here in the Foxdale Holden. Last of all the 2'12s was the Bulgarian with the even less enviable record in F1RMGP, the Fire King himself, Plamen Kralev, but right at the back, and the only driver over the entire three sessions to record a time in the 2'13s, stand up and be counted, or maybe run away and hide... Giovanna Amati!

So, now, we have our full grid for the race...



THE STARTING GRID

Times are given with the drivers who set them. Those who took part in Q1 will be the drivers to take the start line.

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1   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  M. McFry           2'04.855
2   2   Holden Racing Team / Holden                   P. Brock (H)       2'06.986
3   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         HWNSNBM            2'07.074
4   1   Viking Racing / Holden                        Þ. Einarsson       2'07.233
5   11  Valkyrie Racing / Holden                      R. Karlsson        2'07.278
6   4   Autobacs Nippon Racing Team / Nissan          K. Tsukakoshi      2'07.411
7   8   Super Aguri Enduro / Nissan                   Y. Ide             2'07.465
8   12  Red Bull World Race Team / Holden             J. Hamilton        2'07.490
9   27  Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni / Holden      G. Tarquini        2'07.547
10  31  Telecom Italia Trueba Corse / Nissan          F. Giovanardi      2'07.707
11  13  Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team / Trabant   R. Moreno          2'07.838
12  7   Team James Davies / Nissan                    J. Davies I        2'07.913
13  16  Leyton Dome Engineering / Nissan              M. Apicella        2'07.921

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14  36  Team Ultimate / Holden                        C. Johnson         2'07.959
15  19  Virgin Melrose Racing Team / Ford             M. Macklin         2'08.007
16  21  Zombie Conglomerate / Ford                    J. Plaza           2'08.054
17  33  Team Sunshine Infiniti / Nissan               K. Lon             2'08.469
18  15  Pac Racing Team / Nissan                      H. Tojo            2'08.569
19  17  Aeroracing Engineering / Nissan               N. Bellic          2'09.114
20  32  Apollonia GT Racing by Hydook / Ford          M. Bosevic         2'09.498
21  6   Gulf Oils Ford Australia Racing Team / Ford   D. Simpson         2'09.875
22  25  Gillet Ecurie Nationale Belge / Holden        T. de Bock         2'10.089
23  23  Scuderia Minardivas / Ford                    S. de Silvestro    2'10.183
24  20  Foxdale Auto Racing Team / Holden             S. Wolff           2'10.514
25  34  Psycho Soldiers / Ford                        Y. Mitsui          2'10.565
26  29  Virgin Melrose Racing Team B / Ford           J. Cavalcanti      2'11.835

This should be an interesting race – the grid's been formed by a 1981 DeLorean up front, ahead of all the 2012-spec V8 Supercars, a deceased-and-resurrected legend alongside two F1RMGP champions and a blonde Swedish lass who's spent her life rallying, the lowest-ranked Nissan beating the highest, a Trabant in 11th, three James Davieses in the same car, and seven of the eight Fords mired in the bottom half of the grid when power really isn't everything in this race.

Start your engines.

[TomWazzleshaw]

Actually, can MRT have Macklin start the #19 car instead? I think all the teams should have a choice as to who will start the car.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

Both cars solidly in the top 10.

[MinardiFan95]

Those training wheels the Cillit BANG! team won at the end of the last REECCS season are working quite well I see...

If it was any other race I'd be extremely disappointed with 21st on the grid, however the grid position really doesn't matter too much in an endurance race like this, and if the car is as reliable as I hope it is, then we should have a good shot at a top 10 finish. I can't exactly see the Trabant finishing the race unscathed, surely the training wheels will fall off coming down the Dipper.

[dr-baker]

The two teams with the smallest budget in the top 11 !!! And the DeLorean 10 places ahead of the Trabant !!! But the Foxdale Holden is just hoping to have a steady race to the finish, based upon their qualifying performance.

[dinizintheoven]

Denied!

Virgin MRT's request to change their driver order has been personally turned down by Sir Bernard Shekelslike. Word is the bowl-haired scarecrow has had a bit of a disagreement with a bizarre sponsor that appeared on Chris Dagnall's cars in the 2012 and 2013 F1RMGP seasons, and is now prominently featured on both Virgin MRT's cars. Wizzie's Free Popcorn promised a year's supply of popcorn to Sir Bernie if Chris Dagnall won the Driver's Title, which he did in 2013; the popcorn never arrived, despite the sponsors leaving a note by the Series Management's head offices, possibly because it never existed. Sir Bernie has never forgotten this, and has decided that the mild inconvenience of not allowing Virgin MRT to change their driver order, even though that was locked in as soon as the first qualifying session started, is a small price to pay. He would also like to remind the other teams that they too will be driving in the order that they participated in the qualifying sessions in.

Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team come clean on the car's performance

How, you are all asking yourselves, can a Trabant possibly be keeping pace with V8 Supercars that are 30 years newer than it is? The secret lies in the strange lack of Wartburgs in the 2012 REECCS season; several cars were impounded and assessed for future use in other series, and now, the chance has been offered. Under the bonnet of the Trabant, the 595 cc two-cylinder smoke machine has been replaced by Wartburg's 993 cc straight-three - still a two-stroke job, hence the continuing cloud of oily smoke out the exhaust. However, what's that under that lump of carpet where the rear seats should be? It's another Wartburg engine, connected to the rear wheels! So, what the resultant machine is, is a 1986 cc six-cylinder, four-wheel-drive, two-stroke mad-mobile, with a violent thirst for oil and its own smokescreen which will give the Australian Green Party a heart attack.

The Trabant is able to post half-decent lap times with a capable driver who can thrash the dual-engined car as hard as it needs, and though it is still immensely down on power in comparison with the rest of the field, it weighs the same as a paper bag, whereas a massive Holden or Ford... doesn't. There is only one disadvantage - only one engine can initially be used as the car accelerates, with the driver having to engage fourth gear on the second engine at above 50 mph to allow the second engine to bumpstart. Once it is running (e.g. on a qualifying out lap), it stays running until it's time for a driver change.

Fatality at Bathurst!

A man who had a heart attack during qualifying has died, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported. Daniel O'Brien, a prominent member of the Australian Green Party, was at the Mount Panorama circuit protesting about the presence of the race and had attempted to set up an "Occupy Bathurst" camp on a grass bank with an excellent view of the action at Quarry Corner. The sight of the smoking Cillit Bang! Trabant was what had caused Mr O'Brien to suffer the heart attack, and all attempts by his fellow campers to revive him with healing crystals, acupuncture and homeopathic "remedies" as well as the power of music and dance and shaking a tambourine were doomed to failure. Doctors tried to intervene but were initially beaten back by the stench of hippies who had not had a wash in twenty years and were all liberally doused in patchouli oil; returning with breathing apparatus on loan from the Bathurst Fire Department, the hippies broke out into a violent confrontation of non-violence, attacking the doctors with lighted joss sticks, screaming pre-prepared slogans about how Western medicine is deliberately killing everyone.

Mr O'Brien's body was eventually removed from the circuit, as well as the protesting hippies being chased away by police with nightsticks. The body was examined, and the coroner reported that Mr O'Brien could have been saved via a simple five-minute medical procedure. Three of the hippies have been charged with Mr O'Brien's manslaughter by negligence, for deliberately obstructing the medical staff and allowing him to die, and all three have declared that they were right all along and the doctors should be charged with murder instead. A hand the size of New South Wales was seen slapping itself to a head the size of Australia.

[Nessafox]

Rumours: Cillit Bang! Trabant are possibly using a non-homologated rear mirror...

[TomWazzleshaw]

Virgin MRT would like to make a second, much more serious request to have Macklin start the car as Melrose has, quite frankly, left the building citing 'personal issues'

[FMecha]

Virgin MRT would like to make a second, much more serious request to have Macklin start the car as Melrose has, quite frankly, left the building citing 'personal issues'

Nah, the Psycho Soldiers would like to file a complaint that MRT A-car was running with a (non-functioning) 'easy difficulty' system

[TomWazzleshaw]

Virgin MRT would like to make a second, much more serious request to have Macklin start the car as Melrose has, quite frankly, left the building citing 'personal issues'

Nah, the Psycho Soldiers would like to file a complaint that MRT A-car was running with a (non-functioning) 'easy difficulty' system

In that case

Melrose sent home for Bathurst 24 hours

Extraordinary scenes took place in the MRT garage as MRT boss Daniel Melrose was sent home by his own team on the eve of the Bathurst 24 hour race. After an application by the team to have Mitchell Macklin start the number 19 MRT car were rejected twice by the F1RMGP management, MRT technical director Willy Rampf and Driver Consultant Alex Zanardi decided it was best if the former world champion was removed from the entry list for the race altogether. While the official line from the team was 'personal issues', there have been unconfirmed reports that Melrose has in fact been dumped by his manager in the last 24 hours and the team decided it would have been a safety hazard to put him in the car in the state of mind he's allegedly in. A replacement driver for Melrose is expected to be announced within the next few hours should the race organisers allow for a replacement.

[dinizintheoven]

In that case, I'd nominate a reserve driver... fast! Presumably an Aussie, most likely an NSW resident, because the chances of getting anyone else in faster will be low.

Statistics will be ten below Melrose's for skill and consistency.

[DemocalypseNow]

In that case, I'd nominate a reserve driver... fast! Presumably an Aussie, most likely an NSW resident, because the chances of getting anyone else in faster will be low.

Statistics will be ten below Melrose's for skill and consistency.

Warren Luff!

[dinizintheoven]

He was originally considered for one of the teams...

[DemocalypseNow]

He was originally considered for one of the teams...

If you were willing to widen the net to Victoria, he could sign up such morons as Luke Youlden or Michael Patrizi

[TomWazzleshaw]

He was originally considered for one of the teams...

If you were willing to widen the net to Victoria, he could sign up such morons as Luke Youlden or Michael Patrizi

Youlden's actually half-decent... Sometimes.

Seriously though, MRT will enter John Zimmer in Melrose's place with the permission of the Holden Racing Team.

[the Masked Lapwing]

He was originally considered for one of the teams...

If you were willing to widen the net to Victoria, he could sign up such morons as Luke Youlden or Michael Patrizi

Youlden's actually half-decent... Sometimes.

Seriously though, MRT will enter John Zimmer in Melrose's place with the permission of the Holden Racing Team.

Once again: I refuse to drive a Ford, ever. That extends to my virtual drivers. Try again

[dr-baker]

If it turns out that Douglas Mann's "Dehli belly" is incapacitated too much to continue during the race, could Martin McFry do double stints, or would he need to be replaced by somebody new, who had not yet been in the car? And would they have the same stats as D. Mann?

[TomWazzleshaw]

If you were willing to widen the net to Victoria, he could sign up such morons as Luke Youlden or Michael Patrizi

Youlden's actually half-decent... Sometimes.

Seriously though, MRT will enter John Zimmer in Melrose's place with the permission of the Holden Racing Team.

Once again: I refuse to drive a Ford, ever. That extends to my virtual drivers. Try again

Hmm... Shove David Besnard in the car instead. He's alright as an endure driver when he's not too busy crashing.

[TomWazzleshaw]

If it turns out that Douglas Mann's "Dehli belly" is incapacitated too much to continue during the race, could Martin McFry do double stints, or would he need to be replaced by somebody new, who had not yet been in the car? And would they have the same stats as D. Mann?

You can hire a replacement but he'll have slightly lower stats than Mr Mann. May I recommend John Zimmer for the drive?

Oh and Melrose says hi and that you shouldn't worry about being single because love's a b**** and cupid is *Rant censored to save the Metcalfs of this world*

[dinizintheoven]

Hmm... Shove David Besnard in the car instead. He's alright as an endure driver when he's not too busy crashing.

Done and dusted.

Douglas Mann has also been declared fit to drive, and will do so... probably loaded on Imodium and three different types of painkillers, but maybe the DeLorean will whick him back in time to before he ate all those extra onion bhajis covered in that day-glow green sauce that nobody can identify, even in India.

Oh and Melrose says hi and that you shouldn't worry about being single because love's a b**** and cupid is *Rant censored to save the Metcalfs of this world*

And that, we can all get behind. Unfortunately, the Metcalfs of this world can't be saved forever. Maybe another five years or so...

And with that, no more changes, so the race can finally get underway. At least it will... (REAL LIFE INTERLUDE) when I wake up again. Three in the morning grumble grumble.

[TomWazzleshaw]

Hmm... Shove David Besnard in the car instead. He's alright as an endure driver when he's not too busy crashing.

Done and dusted.

Douglas Mann has also been declared fit to drive, and will do so... probably loaded on Imodium and three different types of painkillers, but maybe the DeLorean will whick him back in time to before he ate all those extra onion bhajis covered in that day-glow green sauce that nobody can identify, even in India.

Chances are it's probably some sort of Mint Chutney

[dr-baker]

If it turns out that Douglas Mann's "Dehli belly" is incapacitated too much to continue during the race, could Martin McFry do double stints, or would he need to be replaced by somebody new, who had not yet been in the car? And would they have the same stats as D. Mann?

You can hire a replacement but he'll have slightly lower stats than Mr Mann. May I recommend John Zimmer for the drive?

Nah, Douglas will just put up with the Immodium and Heaven help Alice Powell, who will be getting in the car after him...

Douglas Mann has also been declared fit to drive, and will do so... probably loaded on Imodium and three different types of painkillers, but maybe the DeLorean will whick him back in time to before he ate all those extra onion bhajis covered in that day-glow green sauce that nobody can identify, even in India.

Chances are it's probably some sort of Mint Chutney

Well, if it's mint, at least it'll have a fresh smell.

Oh and Melrose says hi and that you shouldn't worry about being single because love's a b**** and cupid is *Rant censored to save the Metcalfs of this world*

Douglas would have to agree with that. This Dehli Belly has killed any chance that he would have had with the charming young Alice...

[dinizintheoven]

The Management relents...

...and Mitchell Macklin will be taking the start line for Virgin MRT. After careful consideration by the Management, there was no way that David Besnard could just jump into the car and start the race - the decision was taken so late that it was likely to take more than two hours to get his seat fitting done perfectly. Hence, rather than have 25 cars at the start and one sitting hopelessly in the garage for 100 laps or so, the order had been reversed for Virgin MRT: Macklin to start, O'Lauchlan to continue, Besnard to drive third.

It is nearly midday on Saturday, 13 December, 2014. The sun is out, the cars are on the grid, all 26 of them, despite the upheaval in garage F5.

Time to get this race underway.

[TomWazzleshaw]

I guess it's a small moral victory for us. Not that it matters much as we'll probably end up with two bent motorcars by the end of tomorrow anyway to put the icing on the cake for what has been an absolutely fanTAStic weekend. *Rolls eyes*

[dinizintheoven]

RACE POSITIONS
Saturday, 13 December 2014 – 14:00

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POS +/-  NUM TEAM / CAR                                    DRIVER             LAPS  TIME
--- ---  --- ----------                                    ------             ----  ----
1   NC   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  M. McFry           56    02:00:53.008
2   +1   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         HWNSNBM            56    02:02:48.307
3   +4   8   Super Aguri Enduro / Nissan                   Y. Ide             56    02:02:59.801
4   +8   7   Team James Davies / Nissan                    J. Davies I        55    02:01:04.705
5   +3   12  Red Bull World Race Team / Holden             J. Hamilton        55    02:01:16.058
6   +9   19  Virgin Melrose Racing Team / Ford             M. Macklin         55    02:01:26.741
7   +3   31  Telecom Italia Trueba Corse / Nissan          F. Giovanardi      55    02:01:37.325
8   +13  6   Gulf Oils Ford Australia Racing Team / Ford   D. Simpson         55    02:01:58.967
9   +11  32  Apollonia GT Racing by Hydook / Ford          M. Asmer           55    02:02:01.144
10  +4   36  Team Ultimate / Holden                        A. Beatriz         55    02:02:09.775

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11  -7   1   Viking Racing / Holden                        Þ. Einarsson       55    02:02:26.829
12  +11  23  Scuderia Minardivas / Ford                    V. Ickx            55    02:02:53.744
13  +5   15  Pac Racing Team / Nissan                      H. Tojo            55    02:02:58.850
14  -5   27  Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni / Holden      G. Tarquini        54    02:00:53.138
15  -13  2   Holden Racing Team / Holden                   P. Brock (H)       54    02:00:55.281
16  +6   25  Gillet Ecurie Nationale Belge / Holden        T. de Bock         54    02:01:19.746
17  -4   16  Leyton Dome Engineering / Nissan              H. Noda            54    02:01:20.317
18  -12  4   Autobacs Nippon Racing Team / Nissan          K. Tsukakoshi      54    02:01:39.231
19  NC   17  Aeroracing Engineering / Nissan               P. McAllister      54    02:01:49.596
20  +6   29  Virgin Melrose Racing Team B / Ford           V. Reyna-Sanchez   54    02:02:02.283

Code: Select all

21  +4   34  Psycho Soldiers / Ford                        H. Ogawa (H)       53    02:00:54.372
22  +2   20  Foxdale Auto Racing Team / Holden             S. Wolff           53    02:00:54.982
23  -6   33  Team Sunshine Infiniti / Nissan               S. Katayama        53    02:01:33.086
24  -8   21  Zombie Conglomerate / Ford                    J. Plaza           52    02:01:32.139
25  -14  13  Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team / Trabant   P. McCarthy        52    02:01:58.002
26  -21  11  Valkyrie Racing / Holden                      E. Kimiläinen      19    02:00:53.008

I said it before, I'll say it again: Great Scott! If that DeLorean isn't bending time, then Martin McFry must be one of the finest drivers ever to take the wheel at a Formula One Rejects race. Pulling out a two-minute lead over his nearest competitor, the legendary HWNSNBM, in that old bucket of bits is some feat. So commanding has his performance been that the experimental entry at the wrong end of the pit lane is beating the top teams soundly, but as the first changeover approaches and Douglas Mann will be taking the wheel, will it last? HWNSNBM in the F1RM Ford and Yuji Ide in the Super Aguri Nissan are the nearest challengers, with James Davies I the first a lap behind. F2RWRS whizzkid Jason Hamilton, in the Red Bull Holden, is locked in a duel with fellow Aussie, Virgin MRT's Mitchell Macklin, unexpectedly promoted to lead driver, and Touring Car legend Fabrizio Giovanardi in the Trueba Nissan. A brilliant drive in this stint by Dave Simpson has launched the Gulf Oils Ford forwards, and just behind him it's the same story for Apollonia's Marko Asmer, now locked in a three-way battle with Ana Beatriz in the Team Ultimate Holden, and Þorvaldur Einarsson, who's already been on the radio wondering why his Holden isn't handling properly. WEC champion Vanina Ickx is salvaging a bit of pride for Scuderia Minardivas, holding off Pac Racing's Hiroto Tojo for 13th. Two laps down are Gabriele Tarquini, bizarrely, given that SAAC looked so strong, reconstituted legend Peter Brock, taking a bit of time to warm up again, the the Belgian Gillet ENB car driven by Thomas de Bock, Hideki Noda in a strangely ailing Leyton Dome Nissan, and Koudai Tsukakoshi in the Autobacs Nissan, who hasn't repeated his stunning qualifying performance and has plummeted down the field. That team is still beating two other Nissans, though, one of which is the Aeroracing car driven by Phoenix McAllister, which leaves Vidal Reyna-Sanchez in Virgin MRT's second car as the last to have competed 54 laps. At the wrong end of the standings are Psycho Soldiers with the hologrammatic Hitoshi Ogawa, Foxdale's Susie Wolff, and Team Sunshine Infiniti's Shinobu Katayama, and duking it out at the back are Jesus Plaza in the Zombie Comglomerate Ford, and Perry McCarthy in the valiant Trabant. The Eastern commie-box would undoubtedly be last, had the Valkyrie Racing Holden not been sidelined for an hour and 20 minutes, losing 37 laps, as a critical suspension piece snapped and required severe surgery to put it right. Emma Kimiläinen may have looked like she'd found a penny and lost a tenner, but the Valkyrie Holden's race will continue.

[dr-baker]

RACE POSITIONS
Saturday, 13 December 2014 – 14:00

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POS +/-  NUM TEAM / CAR                                    DRIVER             LAPS  TIME
--- ---  --- ----------                                    ------             ----  ----
1   NC   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  M. McFry           56    02:00:53.008
2   +1   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         HWNSNBM            56    02:02:48.307

I said it before, I'll say it again: Great Scott! If that DeLorean isn't bending time, then Martin McFry must be one of the finest drivers ever to take the wheel at a Formula One Rejects race. Pulling out a two-minute lead over his nearest competitor, the legendary HWNSNBM, in that old bucket of bits is some feat. So commanding has his performance been that the experimental entry at the wrong end of the pit lane is beating the top teams soundly, but as the first changeover approaches and Douglas Mann will be taking the wheel, will it last?

That two minutes is actually 2 minutes and 55 seconds... Which Douglas Mann will probably lose, unless something fortuitous happens? But with only three cars on the lead lap after the first two hours, West Cliff Racing team are quietly confident at this point of the race.

[Salamander]

Shite. I didn't expect him to do that well.

Me too. You do realise something, though?

What?

If we finish lower than he is now, he's going to blame us.

More than he does already? Anyway, I'm not worried. These things are just like slinging a NASCAR around the shop. You, on the other hand...

Christ why did I ever agree to this

Because it's better than continually failing to pre-qualify?

Ah, yes, of course.

Stop wittering, ladies, and start practising for your stints. Much as I'd like to, I can't actually drive this car for 24 hours. Also switch the radio off, you're wasting the batteries.

Oh God.

[dinizintheoven]

That two minutes is actually 2 minutes and 55 seconds... Which Douglas Mann will probably lose, unless something fortuitous happens? But with only three cars on the lead lap after the first two hours, West Cliff Racing team are quietly confident at this point of the race.

Correction: one minute and 55 seconds, if you do the maths. Race lap times, I've found, are varying between the 2'07s and the 2'14s, so if HWNSNBM was 2'55 behind, he'd be a lap down. He isn't. Our hero is no slouch!

I've now updated the Wiki to show the qualifying times (should have done that earlier but Messrs. Brewer and China caused me to get a bit carried away), and if all goes to plan, there should be daily updates as the race develops.

[Shadaza]

We are happy to see Bea manage to work the car in to the top 10, we believe a top 10 finish is our goal today, with 3 solid drivers this should be achievable. Hopefully othercars will fall away around us. Two Fords ahead and the Viking car behind seems to be a good group to be in, hopefully we can leap ahead of the Fords if the slow us down but for now, hold station, a long way to go yet.

Fire up the lemons!

Funny how we don't see Perry McCarthy or Cave *Black Stig* Johnson in the same room...

[dinizintheoven]

Incidentally, this will be playing in my head for quite a while.

And everyone else's, now. Heh.

[dr-baker]

That two minutes is actually 2 minutes and 55 seconds... Which Douglas Mann will probably lose, unless something fortuitous happens? But with only three cars on the lead lap after the first two hours, West Cliff Racing team are quietly confident at this point of the race.

Correction: one minute and 55 seconds, if you do the maths. Race lap times, I've found, are varying between the 2'07s and the 2'14s, so if HWNSNBM was 2'55 behind, he'd be a lap down. He isn't. Our hero is no slouch!

Ahh crap. My mistake. Damn physiology revision distracting me from the important things in life!

Incidentally, this will be playing in my head for quite a while.

And everyone else's, now. Heh.

For a long time (until just now, when I looked it up), I thought this was the theme tune to the BBC's Clothes Show. But apparently it isn't.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

The car is relatively fast, that is good.

[TomWazzleshaw]

That's exactly why I hired Mitchy boy as part of the driver development program in the first place. The kid's gonna be a big star in the future. But, either way, someone remind me to set these crapboxes on fire after the race. I feel like destroying some shite.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

Are some of these drivers on colombian marching powder or something.