F1RWRS - A computerised F1Reject series

[Phoenix]

Holidays at last! That's great, because I have to do some shopping...

[watka]

There are rumours of unrest at the Pacchia team as prima-donna racerAshley Watkinson blamed his team manager for a cock up that cost him the chance of a decent points finish at Oschersleben. Watkinson, 21, showed impressive one lap pace in the Coswojuddhartlambo, qualifying 3rd, and holding the lead for a number of laps. After lap 20 however, Watkinson dropped way off the pace on old tyres, losing numerous places. Oddly, he did not pit until the last lap. Rumours are arising that the team had only brought enough tyres to change team manager Luca Pacchiarini's car, leaving Watkinson without fresh boots. During the mandatory pit stop, it was suspected that Watkinson actually pit Pacchiarini's used tyres on in order to fulfil the series' rules. Watkinson was not available for comment.

[TomWazzleshaw]

QANTAS to sponsor JLD for the rest of the season

Australian Flagship Carrier QANTAS today announced that a deal to be the title sponsor for JLD for the rest of the season before becoming the title sponsor for MRT next season once MRT's buyout of JLD is complete before the start of next season.

QANTAS has been copping alot of flack over the recent problems with their Airbus A380 fleet but QANTAS CEO Alan Joyce has told Autosport that "Sponsoring a team like JLD who have an Australian driver with the calibre and history like Daniel Melrose is a major coup for us and will go a long way to increase our brand recognition around the world and help repair our image.

The JLD car of Daniel Melrose is expected to run in a Red and Silver QANTAS sponsored livery for races outside Australia and a Orange and Silver JetStar livery for the Australian races in the series. Next season Melrose's car is expected to run a QANTAS livery full time while the second car will run a JetStar livery if a second driver is found.

[the Masked Lapwing]

The JLD car of Daniel Melrose is expected to run in a Red and Silver QANTAS sponsored livery for races outside Australia and a Orange and Silver JetStar livery for the Australian races in the series. Next season Melrose's car is expected to run a QANTAS livery full time while the second car will run a JetStar livery if a second driver is found.

At this point, I could be cruel and say both cars have to have the same livery, but since the livery you guys come up with makes no difference in game, and I don't want a BAR-style livery with Jet Star and QANTAS, I really don't care.

Oh, and it's a good thing that QANTAS are only sponsors, we need JLD/MRT to finish sometimes!

[Shizuka]

I'm going to use this time to kick some butt in the team.

[dr-baker]

I'm going to use this time to kick some butt in the team.

Douglas Mann is available for hire if additional butt-kicking is required at aforementioned team. It will also help his reduce the stress of being beaten by his sister this year.

[Shizuka]

What's your payment?

[Phoenix]

ORANJE KNVB F1 Team bought
The Oranje KNVB F1 Team (formerly Klok F1), which was put into liquidation by a Dutch court due to bankruptcy, has been recently bought by F1RWSRS driver Phoenix McAllister, after he claimed to have received inferior treatment at Rosenforth Engineering: "Yeah, those bastards keep favoring that idiot Frank Zimmer, who isn't worth half a penny, so I thought that if you want soemthing right you better do it yourself, so here I am." The team will make its official debut next season, with heavy Banco Santander, Shannon Group, Andrea Moda Fashion and T-Minus backing. Tom Walkinshaw has been appointed as team manager, while Nigerian Prince Malik will be the main shareholder. The team will run the old Prost AP04 chassis powered by revised versions of the 1981 turbocharged 1500cc straight-4 Hart engines, as well as Avon tyres. The team's official name will be Santander Shannon T-Minus Andrea Moda Stupid Rosenforth Engineering Phoenix F1 Enterprises-Hart (though McAllister himself conceded that the name was too large, so it'll appear as just Phoenix-Hart in the entry lists). As for the drivers, so far McAllister has declared he'll be the only driver, but if someone crooked up enough appears he may well open up a second seat. As a final anotation, McAllister declared: Go home, Colin Kolles, you moron!. He also expressed his intentions of putting a big GO HOME COLIN KOLLES! signage in the rear part of his cars rear wings, as well as deposit large quantities of elephant mess through his mailbox, regardless of he'll be home or not when he does that.

[the Masked Lapwing]

*facepalm*

Alright then, do you wish to drive for your new team at Spa? I'm willing to do that. Because...

The end of Rosenforth?
It was recently announced that Rosenforth Engineering driver Phoenix McAllister has left the team after buying the remains of Oranje KNVB F1 to create his own F1RWRS team. It seems that Jimmy Rosenforth, team owner, has grown bored of the series, and has put the team up for sale, including the current chassis, engine deal, and driver contract. To save his own hide from some moron, the team was bought by Frank Zimmer and his brother John, and effective after the next race at the Nürburgring, will merge with John's team Fwifwi-Holden Racing. Pending the immediate departure of McAllister, John Zimmer will then drive for the team at Spa-Francorchamps, which will be known as Zimmer Racing Team. They will get rid of the Jaguar engines in favour of the supercharged HSV V8s that were used in John's team.

[the Masked Lapwing]

For the record, I did the Nurburgring race, but I decided to try again, as there were only 3 cars that crossed the line. That's right, 3. Dagnall, Douglas Mann and Cameron were those lucky bathplugs. Everyone else binned it in the growing wreckage at the first corner. Except Jones and McAllister, who made it a few hundred metres before expiring.

[simonracer]

For the record, I did the Nurburgring race, but I decided to try again, as there were only 3 cars that crossed the line. That's right, 3. Dagnall, Douglas Mann and Cameron were those lucky bathplugs. Everyone else binned it in the growing wreckage at the first corner. Except Jones and McAllister, who made it a few hundred metres before expiring.

Has there ever been anything close to that rejectful?

[Shizuka]

At least my man Mann finished that.

Three cars. That is... nice.

[the Masked Lapwing]

For the record, these ar the unofficial results (unless there are some who want them...)

Qualifying:
1st: Australian Minardi - Dave SIMPSON: 0:55.46
2nd: Team Calinetic - Gary CAMERON: +0.01
3rd: Kahama Motor Sport - Kay LON: +0.12
4th: Rosenforth Engineering - Phoenix MCALLISTER: +0.21
5th: Prospec - Nathanael SPENCER: +0.30
6th: Prospec - David KOCZO: +0.41
7th: JLD Motorsport - Daniel MELROSE: +0.50
8th: RubberTex-Jones Racing - Chris DAGNALL: +0.66
9th: Anglo-Manx Racing - Pippa MANN: +0.76
10th: Hemogoblin Autowerks - T. HEMO GOBLIN: +0.80
11th: Club Bangelia Racing - James DAVIES: +0.96
12th: Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo - Ashley WATKINSON: +1.00
13th: Fwifwi-Holden Racing - John ZIMMER: +1.11
14th: Anglo-Manx Racing - Douglas MANN: +1.24
15th: Rosenforth Engineering - Frank ZIMMER: +1.32
16th: RubberTex-Jones Racing - Sammy JONES: +1.47
17th: Pacchi-Coswojuddhartlambo - Luca PACCHIARINI: +1.63
18th: CR Motorsport - Darren OLDER JR: +1.65
19th: Team Calinetic - Thomas DE BOCK: +1.86


Race:
1st: Chris Dagnall (RubberTex-Jones Racing): 31 minutes, 44.95 seconds
2nd: Douglas Mann (Anglo-Manx Racing): +8.72
3rd*: Luca Pacchiarini (Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo)
4th: Gary CAMERON (Team Calinetic): +1 LAP
5th*: John Zimmer (Fwifwi-Holden Racing)
6th*: Daniel Melrose (JLD Motorsport)
NC: Nathanael Spencer (Prospec): +7 LAPS
DNF: Kay Lon (Kahama Motor Sport) - L22 (collision)
DNF: Pippa Mann (Anglo-Manx Racing) - L22 (collision)
DNF: Darren Older Jr (CR Motorsport) - L19 (steering)
DNF: Thomas De Bock (Team Calinetic) - L17 (collision)
DNF: James Davies (Club Bangelia Racing) - L10 (collision)
DNF: Dave Simpson (Australian Minardi) - L9 (collision)
DNF: T. Hemo Goblin (Hemogoblin Autowerks) - L7 (spun off)
DNF: Phoenix McAllister (Rosenforth Engineering) - L4 (collision)
DNF: Ashley Watkinson (Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo) - L4 (collision)
DNF: Sammy Jones (RubberTex-Jones Racing) - L1 (collision)
DNF: Frank Zimmer (Rosenforth Engineering) - L1 (collision)
DNF: David Koczo (Prospec) - L1 (accident)
* Driver did not finish, but completed 75% race distance (23 laps)

Run down:
L1 - Koczo spins at first corner after touch from Melrose, and is hit by both Zimmer and Jones. Jones continues, but car gives up just before the next corner.
L4 - Watkinson can't avoid Zimmer's car while trying to pass Davies for 10th. McAllister hits the steaming wreckage, but makes it further than Jones' car.
L7 - Hemo Goblin spins while trying to avoid Watkinson's car, and can't get out from the sand.
L9 - Simpson bullseyes the rear of Koczo's car, and retires from the lead.
L10 - Davies hits Simpson's car, almost completely blocking the track (if only there was a safety car...)
L17 - Most cars get through the small gap with minor damage, till De Bock forgets that it is single file, and tries to pass Pacchiarini.
L19 - Older Jr becomes the first retirement not related to the pile-up, after a steering failure puts him into the tyre bundle on the inside of the chicane. He manages to make the pits, but can't get back out.
L22 - Mere metres from classification, Pippa Mann and Kay Lon come together at the final corner.
L23 - Spencer hits the tyre bundle too, but gets out of the pits for the last lap, finishing unclassified, 7 laps down.
L27 - John Zimmer hits his brother's car, and Melrose hits his car too.
L30 - The saddest moment for me, as Pacchiarini gets stuck in the pile up. Want to know what the sad part is? He was in the lead.

[Shizuka]

So...

I...
DIDN'T...
bathplug...
QUALIFY...
AGAIN?...

That sucks.

[Aerond]

Oh come on!! You can´t accept Dagnall winning???

The RubberTex-Jones Racing team is going to report it to the FIA

[LucaPacchiarini]

wow... that's the second time that I lead the last lap only to retire and lose the race...damn

[dr-baker]

Anglo-Manx Racing press release

The team's manager, Pippa Mann, despite the sibling rivalry, was pleased with his brother's reliability at getting to the finish line, recalling the first two lines of Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If':

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you...

Ms. Mann was about her 'incident' with K. Lon, but does not wish to discuss the matter in public.

And Douglas Mann wishes to thank Mr Shizuka for his earlier kind words.

At least my man Mann finished that.

Three cars. That is... nice.

[Phoenix]

Well, it's a shame my last race for Rosenforth (and Rosenforth's last race full stop) had to end like this. Those buggers really have no idea how to drive. I bet those fools use to drive Audi Q7s when not racing. Anyway, my team is set to debut earlier than expected, at the next round at Spa to be more precise, hence Rosenforth quitting, because Frank effing Zimmer is running like a crybaby to his brother's pitiful team. That's it. Go home, Colin Kolles!

[Aerond]

I nominate Track Marshalls as the Nurburgring ROTR for being on strike that day and not cleaning the mess

[the Masked Lapwing]

I nominate Track Marshalls as the Nurburgring ROTR for being on strike that day and not cleaning the mess

Or perhaps the game's complete lack of safety cars? Funny as hell to watch though, because eventually they were lining up to get through.

[the Masked Lapwing]

Drivers’ Championship (after Round 4 of 15)
1st: Nathanael Spencer (30)
= 2nd: Chris Dagnall (20)
= 2nd: Simon Redman (20)
= 4th: Gary Cameron (14)
= 4th: Pippa Mann (14)
6th: Frank Zimmer (13)
7th: Phoenix McAllister (11)
= 8th: Douglas Mann (10)
= 8th: Thomas De Bock (10)
= 8th: David Koczo (10)
11th: Dave Simpson (9)
12th: Luca Pacchiarini (8)
13th: Daniel Melrose (7)
14th: Hagane Shizuka (5)
= 15th: John Zimmer (4)
= 15th: T. Hemo Goblin (4)
17th: James Davies (3)
18th: Giovanni Roda (2)
19th: Darren Older Jr (1)

Teams' Championship:
1st: Prospec (40)
= 2nd: Anglo-Manx Racing (24)
= 2nd: Team Calinetic (24)
= 2nd: Rosenforth Engineering (24)
= 5th: RubberTex-Jones Racing (20)
= 5th: Kahama Motor Sport (20)
7th: Australian Minardi (10)*
8th: Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo (8)
9th: JLD Motorsport (7)*
10th: West Cliff Racing (5)*
= 11th: Fwifwi-Holden Racing (4)*
= 11th: Hemogoblin Autowerks (4)*
13th: Club Bangelia Racing (3)*
14th: Trueba Racing (2)*
15th: CR Motorsport (1)*
16th: Ecurie de Course Belge (0)*

*Denotes single car teams.

[simonracer]

2nd in the world championship? Wow!

[the Masked Lapwing]

RESULTS OF QUALIFYING HEAT #1 AT SPA-FRANCORCHAMPS:

Nathanael SPENCER: 1:39.13
Frank ZIMMER: 1:39.42
Gary CAMERON: 1:39.73
James DAVIES: 1:40.06
T. HEMO GOBLIN: 1:40.28
Giovanni RODA: 1:40.63
Darren OLDER JR: 1:40.95
Kay LON: 1:41.17
Sammy JONES: 1:41.50
Douglas MANN: 1:41.84
Luca PACCHIARINI: 1:42.06

RESULTS OF QUALIFYING HEAT #2 AT SPA-FRANCORCHAMPS:

Daniel MELROSE: 1:39.23
Thomas DE BOCK: 1:39.38
Dave SIMPSON: 1:39.69
Pippa MANN: 1:40.11
Chris DAGNALL: 1:40.22
Simon REDMAN: 1:40.54
Phoenix MCALLISTER: 1:40.74
David KOCZO: 1:41.08
Ashley WATKINSON: 1:41.28
John ZIMMER: 1:41.57
Hagane SHIZUKA: 1:41.85
Aurelian MOLL: 1:42.20

COMBINED PRE-QUALIFYING RESULTS:

Nathanael SPENCER: 1:39.13
Daniel MELROSE: 1:39.23
Thomas DE BOCK: 1:39.38
Frank ZIMMER: 1:39.42
Dave SIMPSON: 1:39.69
Gary CAMERON: 1:39.73
James DAVIES: 1:40.06
Pippa MANN: 1:40.11
Chris DAGNALL: 1:40.22
T. HEMO GOBLIN: 1:40.28
Simon REDMAN: 1:40.54
Giovanni RODA: 1:40.63
Phoenix MCALLISTER: 1:40.74
Darren OLDER JR: 1:40.95
David KOCZO: 1:41.08
Kay LON: 1:41.17
Ashley WATKINSON: 1:41.28
Sammy JONES: 1:41.50
John ZIMMER: 1:41.57
Douglas MANN: 1:41.84
Hagane SHIZUKA: 1:41.85
Luca PACCHIARINI: 1:42.06
Aurelian MOLL: 1:42.20

[Shizuka]

Douglas Mann and I are the unluckiest drivers in the championship this season.

[dr-baker]

Douglas Mann and I are the unluckiest drivers in the championship this season.

Although Douglas did luck into a 2nd place in the last race... but only through high attrition, and the fact that he was still around at the end!

[Aerospeed]

Is it too late to sign up for another car entry?

[tommykl]

I'm guessing you'll have to wait next season (Though I'm not sure...A little help, TMLW?).

[the Masked Lapwing]

Is it too late to sign up for another car entry?

If we can have team changes mid-season, we can have new drivers! I need a name, nationality, and what team you want to drive for (remember, you can make your own).
And tommy, Simon Redman missed Hockenheim last year because he joined late, so there is precedent.

[Aerospeed]

Is it too late to sign up for another car entry?

If we can have team changes mid-season, we can have new drivers! I need a name, nationality, and what team you want to drive for (remember, you can make your own).
And tommy, Simon Redman missed Hockenheim last year because he joined late, so there is precedent.

Thank you.
Name1: Jari Kekkonen
Nationality1: Finland

If possible, I'd like two drivers (the one on the top is preferred)
Name2: Nicolas Steele
Nationality2: United States

Team: ArrowTech Racing Team

Hope this helps.

[the Masked Lapwing]

And added. 25 drivers in pre-quali now. That should get interesting!

[Aerospeed]

And added. 25 drivers in pre-quali now. That should get interesting!

Both or just Kekkonen?

[the Masked Lapwing]

And added. 25 drivers in pre-quali now. That should get interesting!

Both or just Kekkonen?

Both, check the opening post.

[Aerospeed]

And added. 25 drivers in pre-quali now. That should get interesting!

Both or just Kekkonen?

Both, check the opening post.

DDUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH

Well thank you for doing this.

[the Masked Lapwing]

Both or just Kekkonen?

Both, check the opening post.

DDUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH

Well thank you for doing this.

No problem. The more the merrier, as I almost never say. They won't be competing until the next race at Silverstone, because I've already done pre-qualifying for Spa, but hopefully they do well.

[the Masked Lapwing]

RACE #5 - SPA-FRANCORCHAMPS
Qualifying:
Nathanael Spencer nets his first point that didn't come from a win by scoring pole position, with Daniel Melrose to line up alongside him.The ex-Rosenforth drivers of Frank Zimmer and Phoenix McAllister will start from the second row.

1st: Prospec - Nathanael SPENCER: 1:36.10
2nd: JLD Mototsport - Daniel MELROSE: +0.20
3rd: Zimmer-Holden Racing - Frank ZIMMER: +0.44
4th: Phoenix-Hart - Phoenix MCALLISTER: +0.52
5th: Prospec - David KOCZO: +0.75
6th: Hemogoblin Autowerks - T. HEMO GOBLIN: +0.83
7th: Team Calinetic - Gary CAMERON: +1.09
8th: Team Calinetic - Thomas DE BOCK: +1.22
9th: CR Motorsport - Darren OLDER JR: +1.33
10th: RubberTex-Jones Racing - Chris DAGNALL: +1.52
11th: Kahama Motor Sport - Kay LON: +1.76
12th: Zimmer-Holden Racing - John ZIMMER: +1.84
13th: RubberTex-Jones Racing - Sammy JONES: +2.02
14th: Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo - Ashley WATKINSON: +2.20
15th: Australian Minardi - Dave SIMPSON: +2.39
16th: Anglo-Manx Racing - Pippa MANN: +2.54
17th: Trueba Racing - Giovanni RODA: +2.79
18th: Kahama Motor Sport - Simon REDMAN: +2.98
19th: Club Bangelia Racing - James DAVIES: +3.07

Race:
Lap 1:
A brilliant start from Gary Cameron saw him get to 5th place. That was before La Source, where he passed Zimmer and McAllister too. Spencer got the jump on Melrose, while teammate David Koczo passed McAllister going into Les Combes. Spencer held the lead until Melrose passed him under braking for the chicane, and made it stick. Zimmer, Cameron and Hemo Goblin all pitted.
Lap 2:
Koczo passes Spencer at La Source, but Spencer goes full throttle through Eau Rouge and Raidillon, passing him again down the straight. Darren Older Jr was now in 5th place, defending from F1 World Champion Chris Dagnall. As they went through Blanchimont, a mistake from Spencer saw Koczo get through and almost pass Melrose at the chicane. McAllister missed the braking zone and lost a few spots, dropping well behind the Prospecs, and allowing Older Jr into 4th. Simon Redman pits.
Lap 3:
Koczo is right behind Melrose, until he is passed by Spencer again. McAllister makes his back to 5th, with Dave Simpson now up to 6th after an ordinary qualifying.
Lap 4:
Melrose runs very, very wide at La Source, and hits the outside wall. However, he manages to hold the lead.
Lap 5:
This is becoming a four-way battle for the lead, as Melrose, Spencer, Koczo and Older Jr trade positions. Behind them is a pack of 15 cars, led by Dagnall, with Redman way behind after his stop. McAllister pits, falling behind even Redman.
Lap 6:
Melrose is passed by both Prospecs, as Spencer and Koczo muscle their way past at Les Combes and Bruxelles. Dave Simpson is now fourth, as a mistake from Older Jr at Blanchimont sees him lose a lot of places.
Lap 7:
A few bits of front wings come flying off as there is some push and shove in the pack at La Source. Melrose is now going backwards as he drops behind Simpson and Older Jr. Koczo and Spencer are still battling, with Koczo crossing the line in first. The top 10 is now:
Koczo, Spencer, Simpson, Older Jr, Melrose, J. Zimmer, Lon, Dagnall, Roda and De Bock.
Lap 8:
Much cleaner at La Source this time around, although Redman has caught the pack and is forced wide by Hemo Goblin. McAllister, despite being in open air, almost has a repeat of his accident last year, but manages to pull it up. Ashley Watkinson runs off the road at Bruxelles, dropping behind McAllister.
Lap 9:
None of the stoppers have reached the top 10 yet, although Cameron and Zimmer are right in the middle of the pack. Older Jr gets to second place, behind Koczo. Melrose pits from 4th, and Frank Zimmer now takes his spot.
Lap 10:
McAllister has now caught the pack, but runs close to the wall again at La Source. Pippa Mann and Ashley Watkinson are the two slowest cars, miles behind even McAllister now, although both pass Melrose, only because Melrose had a suspension repair after his brush with the wall. Zimmer and Redman are now 3rd and 4th, but Cameron has been stuck in traffic, and unable to make gains.
Lap 11:
Zimmer passes both Prospecs at Les Combes, while Redman still has ground to make. As they head down the straight, he is right behind Spencer, looking to pass at La Source…
Lap 12:
But can’t, as Spencer shuts the door. 45 seconds later, Watkinson comes within centimetres (or inches, depending on the system) of putting the Pacchia in the wall, as the car seems to have some major suspension damage.
Lap 13:
Redman passes the Prospecs to take second place, but is still 5 seconds away from Zimmer. Cameron is the next best stopper, in 11th, with Hemo Goblin 14th, McAllister 15th and Melrose 17th.
Lap 14:
There is a level of carnage to rival the ‘Ring and there is catastrophe for Kay Lon, as he gets a touch from Cameron and is sent into the wall! He can continue, but has received heavy damage, as has Cameron, and both get black and orange flags, forcing them to pit, when they eventually get there. Giovanni Roda also has damage and gets flagged, while Jones hits the floundering Lon, trying to pass a faster Melrose. Koczo and John Zimmer both pit. Confirmation arrives as Jones is also awarded a black and orange flag. Both he and Lon are travelling ridiculously slowly, and should just retire now.
Lap 15:
As he leaves the pits and takes Eau Rouge, John Zimmer becomes the next victim of the slow Lon, as he hits him too! He gets a flag as well. Cameron and Harvey make it to the pits. Whether they get out again is yet to be seen.
Lap 16:
Kahama Motor Sport will be so angry now, as Lon hits his own teammate! At this point, Lon is still on Lap 14, and not even at Bruxelles yet. It seems that McAllister must have hit him too, as he has heavy damage, and can’t get the car turned at all for La Source, yet didn’t get flagged. He hits the wall, receives the flag, and starts to crawl slower than Lon was!
Lap 17:
Cameron and Roda still haven’t emerged as Zimmer laps them, but can leave when he passes. The other drivers who have received the flag haven’t got back yet. McAllister then decides to say “Bathplug you all!” and you will never guess which driver was the next one to get a black and orange flag. Curse you Phoenix!!! With Zimmer and Redman crawling around, the next undamaged car is that of Hemo Goblin. Pippa Mann hits Lon and gets flagged at Stavelot, so at least Lon is making progress. Giovanni Roda also hits Lon, and gets the flag for the second time in 4 laps! Ashley Watkinson, already a lap down, hits McAllister too. That leaves only about 9 drivers who haven’t been forced to pit.
SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, STILL ON LAP 17:
Maybe I should revise that, since no one seems to be coming, and Zimmer is still classified first, although Redman is 6th, without having stopped yet. No, wait! There’s Simpson, ahead of Spencer and Melrose, who promptly puts it into the wall at La Source. Yep, they are only now starting Lap 17. Zimmer is still first, but not for long… Hemo Goblin is also in the pits, but that would have been on the last lap… Hang on a second… He’s already stopped! Older Jr files in behind him, as does Davies. And Gary Cameron goes into the wall at La Source, and gets another flag. This is a problem now…
Lap 18:
And the pits are now the busiest I’ve ever seen them, as Roda, Mann, Watkinson, McAllister, Redman, Lon, Jones, Dagnall and both Zimmers all go in at once! Add to that Older Jr and Davies, who still haven’t left, and there are 12 drivers in at onceMelrose now leads, finally. Well, until he hits Cameron, who hasn’t made it very far after his most recent excursion into the wall. His car splays across the track and collects Frank Zimmer, who is just exiting the pits. Dave Simpson is also caught up in it. And James Davies. OK. I’m now lost. The official order is:
Simpson (just got flagged), Melrose (just got flagged), Zimmer (just got flagged), Spencer (apparently in pits), Hemo Goblin (apparently in pits), Koczo (no idea where he is), Older Jr (in pits?), De Bock (talk about anonymous), John Zimmer (?), Watkinson (in pits), Davies (just got flagged), Cameron (in pits), Pippa Mann (in pits), Giovanni Roda (in pits), Phoenix McAllister (in pits), Simon Redman (in pits), Kay Lon (in pits), Chris Dagnall (in pits, but not for damage), and Sammy Jones (in pits). I have also completely lost track of what lap it is. It might L18, it might be L19, it might be L20, I have no idea. From now on, only incidents. In chronological order, that is…
McAllister must not be in the pits, because he just got a flag from P13 (must’ve hit Davies).
Hemo Goblin gets flagged (hits Zimmer and Melrose at the same time. Win!)
Lon gets flagged (no idea where he even is).
Pippa Mann gets flagged (no idea where she is).
The four above I assume happened together, because they were simultaneous.
Spencer gets a flag (I think he hit Melrose).
Koczo gets a flag (hits Spencer).
^^Wow…
Older Jr gets a flag (hits Koczo)
The three above were at the same time too.
Melrose and Zimmer are conformed in the pits, along with at least 7 others.
Scratch that, Zimmer is still on track, but at pit lane speeds! So are McAllister and a few others, moving at precisely the same speed. But none of them sound too healthy…
Hehe, Zimmer’s car looks like a Formula Ford without its wings.
And then Gary Cameron hits him while exiting the pits…
At this point, the race leader is Thomas De Bock. Melrose is 3 seconds behind. Giovanni Roda is 3rd, margin unknown. Might be in the pits, actually…
Davies gets flagged. He hit someone, most likely Zimmer.
De Bock hits McAllister. Melrose hits McAllister. Lon hits McAllister. Roda hits McAllister. Mann hits McAllister. John Zimmer hits McAllister. Simpson hits McAllister. Spencer hits Zimmer. Koczo hits Spencer. Older Jr hits Spencer. (Zimmer and McAllister were effectively racing each other at 40km/h, blocking the track. McAllister was on the racing line, Zimmer perpetually trying to overtake. Lon was a lap down, as was Spencer. Hemo Goblin and Watkinson got through.)
There are at least three cars that haven’t moved from the pits for a few minutes. I can’t tell who yet.
McAllister gets yet another flag.
There are a lot of drivers in the pits now. Zimmer goes in and comes out without stopping at all. So he still has damage. Davies does the same. Koczo hits Davies and gets flagged, as does Zimmer. Spencer gets flagged when he hits. Davies gets a flag. John Zimmer gets a flag. Gary Cameron gets a flag. Dave Simpson gets a flag. All three had just left the pits. Older Jr also gets one. Watkinson does too. De Bock as well. Roda gets a flag.
Anyone see the pattern yet?
OK, let’s confirm who’s still on the road. Melrose leads, with a slower Lon at least one lap down (in 16th). Then it is Hemo Goblin (2nd) and Mann (11th). That means Lon is at least two laps down. Hemo Goblin gets a flag, possibly hitting Roda. Mann does too, seconds later. Frank Zimmer is still on the road for some reason, in 12th. I give up on this…
Melrose, De Bock, Simpson, Davies, Lon, Koczo, J. Zimmer, and Hemo Goblin all got flagged. 3 drivers left the pits without fixing their damage. Simpson then got a second one. Older Jr got another one, and Mann.
What? It’s over? Awesome…
1st: Daniel Melrose (JLD Motorsport): 1 hour, 1 minute, 20 seconds
2nd: T. Hemo Goblin (Hemogoblin Autowerks): +1:36.28
3rd: Thomas De Bock (Team Calinetic): +1 LAP
4th: Giovanni Roda (Trueba Racing): +1 LAP
5th: Ashley Watkinson (Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo): +1 LAP
6th: Nathanael Spencer (Prospec): +3 LAPS
7th: John Zimmer (Zimmer-Holden Racing): +3 LAPS
8th: David Koczo (Prospec): +3 LAPS
9th: Darren Older Jr (CR Motorsport): +3 LAPS
10th: Dave Simpson (Australian Minardi): +3 LAPS
11th: Pippa Mann (Anglo-Manx Racing): +3 LAPS
12th: Phoenix McAllister (Phoenix-Hart): +3 LAPS
13th: James Davies (Club Bangelia Racing): +4 LAPS
14th: Frank Zimmer (Zimmer-Holden Racing): +4 LAPS
NC: Gary Cameron (Team Calinetic): +8 LAPS
DNF: Simon Redman (Kahama Motor Sport): Collision (L22)
DNF: Chris Dagnall (RubberTex-Jones Racing): Collision (L21)
DNF: Sammy Jones (RubberTex-Jones Racing): Collision (L18)
DSQ: Kay Lon (Kahama Motor Sport): Careless Driving
Fastest Lap: Daniel Melrose: 1:36.40

Drivers’ Championship (after Round 5 of 15)
1st: Nathanael Spencer (34)
2nd: Daniel Melrose (23)
= 3rd: Simon Redman (20)
= 3rd: Chris Dagnall (20)
5th: Thomas De Bock (18)
= 6th: T. Hemo Goblin (14)
= 6th: Pippa Mann (14)
= 6th: Gary Cameron (14)
9th: Frank Zimmer (13)
= 10th: David Koczo (11)
= 10th: Phoenix McAllister (11)
12th: Douglas Mann (10)
13th: Dave Simpson (9)
14th: Luca Pacchiarini (8)
15th: Giovanni Roda (7)
16th: John Zimmer (6)
17th: Hagane Shizuka (5)
18th: Ashley Watkinson (4)
19th: James Davies (3)
20th: Darren Older Jr (1)

Teams' Championship:
1st: Prospec (45)
2nd: Team Calinetic (32)
= 3rd: Anglo-Manx Racing (24)
= 3rd: Rosenforth Engineering (24)^
5th: Qantas JLD Motorsport (23)*
= 6th: RubberTex-Jones Racing (20)
= 6th: Kahama Motor Sport (20)
8th: 4 Loko Hemogoblin Autowerks (14)*
9th: Pacchia-Coswojuddhartlambo (12)
10th: Australian Minardi (10)*
11th: Trueba racing Team (7)*
12th: West Cliff Racing (5)*
13th: Fwifwi-Holden Racing (4)*^
14th: Club Bangelia Racing (3)*
15th: Zimmer-Holden Racing (2)
16th: CR Motorsport (1)*
17th: Ecurie de Course Belge (0)*

*Denotes single car teams.
^Denotes defunct team.
At least the Nurburgring race was interesting…

[AndreaModa]

That is the single best piece of motorsport reporting I've ever seen!!

Brilliant stuff, even if the RubberTex-Jones Team had a double DNF!

[TomWazzleshaw]

What the bathplug?

[the Masked Lapwing]

Well, that sure was something... But this just proves that F1RWRS needs yellow flags. Everytime I got a message that someone was in the wall I went "Bathplug". But why was Lon disqualified? Sure, he was the first to bin it, but that was Cameron's fault. And Moron McAllister needs to learn the meaning of "get out of the way."

I felt that was a good race... at least, I got some practice at dodging mobile chicanes. I know my brother thinks Lon was undeserving of that penalty, but I don't think he got cleaned up by him! If a driver gets that much damage, he should just pull off. No one went straight ahead at Eau Rouge! He could have stopped there! What happened to everyone just stopping, like at the 'Ring? *random, incomprehensible grumbling*

[Shizuka]

I'm so, going to, leave, West Cliff.

[the Masked Lapwing]

I'm so, going to, leave, West Cliff.

It took you this long to decide that?