As we come towards the last two months of the football season, I was reminded of this exchange from 13 pages and almost four years ago:
Barbazza (4 May 2015) wrote:Delighted to see Orient go down, solely because I hate Barry Hearn. Even more delighted that Plastic FC Mk 2 (Crawley) went as well. Gutted that Plastic FC Mk 1 (MK Dons) went up.
Freeze-O-Kimi (16 May 2015) wrote:I'm just glad Fleetwood didn't make the playoffs. Plastic MK 3 in my view because you don't win 6 promotions in 10 seasons without a bit of cash.
Ataxia (16 May 2015) wrote:Nah, Fleetwood are run by a local businessman who's mad about the club. Their midfielder Nathan Pond, who's been at the club since 2003, has been with the team through all of those promotions. It's nice to see proper "Football Manager" style clubs who have rocketed through the leagues, but at the same time have shown prudent financial management.
So, AFC Fylde, then. They've been rocketing up the divisions in recent years, from the North West Counties League a decade ago to (as it stands today) fourth in the National League, in the play-off places, and with the possibility of them being the latest all-new addition to the Football League being very real. According to The All-Knowing Oracle, in 2007 they had an AGM with a 15-year plan to reach the National League by 2017 (bang on target if they meant the top division) and the Football League by 2022 - all of which sounds like they knew something the rest of us didn't even back then. In short: Plastic FC Mk 3 or a series of hard-won promotions done properly - what's the story with this lot?
Meanwhile, I'm looking through the divisions all the way through to the murky depths once again to see if I can find season-long performances that are so spectacularly cack that the team's been relegated already (not counting any clubs who have resigned from their league or been given the boot). Already I think there should be a special Reject Of Recent Years Award for North Ferriby United who are 23 points adrift of safety at the bottom of the Northern Premier league Premier Division and are on course for a third successive relegation.
And finally, for England at least... is
Hashtag United the single most rejectful idea in the whole of football history, ever?
MEANWHILE IN ITALY...
It seems that even the most rejectful performances in England's nether regions, and even the -7 points scored by perennial Highland League strugglers Fort William north of the border, are nothing in comparison to what's been going on in Italy's Serie C. Our Glorious Leader, fanatical follower of Italian football that he is, will no doubt tell us the entire Italian football system is rotten to the core, as every year, without fail, club after club after club goes to the wall and is reconstituted under a suspiciously similar name in Serie D or the Eccelenza. I could even see his blood pressure rising from afar as Rubentus' under-23 squad was admitted into Serie C for this season, with no other Galactico-level club given that option (even to put their reserves or juniors into Serie D).
Two of the four clubs unceremoniously kicked out of Serie C for this season were Vicenza and Reggiana, who I remember as being former members (if not for very long) of Serie A in the time I've kept one eye on what's happening in Italy, and they're far, far from being the only former top-division club I've seen that happening to. I wondered what had happened with another short-lived ex-member of Serie A, Piacenza, when a second club - Pro Piacenza - appeared alongside them. The newer club, by the looks of things, was more successful for a while but their fortunes have nosedived to the point where
news of their 20-0 shellacking by Cuneo in the northern Girone A made the front page of the BBC website (no, not just the football pages, not just the sports pages, I mean
the front page).
The end result is that they've been thrown out of the league mid-season with all their results wiped - which is annoying, because until that happened, the All-Knowing Oracle kept a record of several other matches in which they'd taken a double-figures leathering, and the "previous versions of this page" doesn't help because the league table and results are automatically updated. Looking on the Italian version of the page, the implication is that every match in the league versus Pro Piacenza will be credited as a 3-0 win to their opponents, which will be trouble for Cuneo - they've also had a massive 23-point deduction and although they'd retain their victory over Pro Piacenza, they've been penalised 17 goals as well for something they didn't do, whatever infraction (probably financial) caused them to lose those 23 points in the first place. And, likely as not, they''ll be relegated.
Pro Piacenza's missed fixtures and fielding of a team entirely made up of teenagers has some terrible parallels with the fate of Woodford United that I'd been reporting on a few seasons ago. Thing is, this isn't the tenth tier United Counties League Division One we're taking about here, it's the third tier of a supposedly respectable football powerhouse nation. And, further south in the parallel Girone C, much the same has happened to Matera - thrown out of the league for failing to turn up for four successive fixtures, though if they'd been on the receiving end of the same on-field punishment as Pro Piacenza, I don't blame them for staying at home (in a city where the old town looks like it comes straight out of Game Of Thrones). Oddly, both Pro Piacenza and Matera have had points deducted after their expulsion, so they're sitting on -16 and -34 points respectively, with that deduction making absolutely no difference to the remainder of their non-participation in the rest of the season.