Grand Prix Rejects

Maybe we can have Symmonds and Briatore in now?

CarlosFerreira wrote:Maybe we can have Symmonds and Briatore in now?

After Spygate, Liegate and Crashgate, here it comes:

Colgate F1 Team!
Team Director: Flavio Briatore
Team Managers: Pat Symmonds, Dave Ryan
Head Engineer: Mike Coughlan
Chief Mechanic: Nigel Stepney
Drivers: Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso (oh boy, I'd love to see that)
Car sponsors: Colgate, Cheatos
Driver sponsors: Teflon (cause nothing ever sticks to them)
Car livery: Teeth white, with Aquafresh red/white/blue stripes

muttley wrote:

CarlosFerreira wrote:Maybe we can have Symmonds and Briatore in now?

After Spygate, Liegate and Crashgate, here it comes:

Colgate F1 Team!
Team Director: Flavio Briatore
Team Managers: Pat Symmonds, Dave Ryan
Head Engineer: Mike Coughlan
Chief Mechanic: Nigel Stepney
Drivers: Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso (oh boy, I'd love to see that)
Car sponsors: Colgate, Cheatos
Driver sponsors: Teflon (cause nothing ever sticks to them)
Car livery: Teeth white, with Aquafresh red/white/blue stripes

I just loved the team main sponsor. The ConMen Colgate F1 Team it is, then!

CarlosFerreira wrote:I just loved the team main sponsor. The ConMen Colgate F1 Team it is, then!

no one can resist a conman with flasing teeth and fresh breath!

TEAM NAME: XYZ-VW

Engine Manufacturer: VW Diesel (they finally enter F1, but it has to be eco-friendly, and runs off used chip fat as a result)

Team Principal: That crazy bloke who used to run Onyx

Head Designer: None. Rejected designs from other teams simply stolen from trash cans outside their HQs. Early leaked photos indicated a squarish design with huge wings, but this was later found to be a photo of David Coulthard hang-gliding.

Head Mechanic/s: Outsourced to Kwik-Fit

Driver 1: Zsolt Baumgartner. Becuase I look for any excuse to Mention HWNSNBM

Driver 2: Winner of 'Race Idol 2010' on ITV

Test Driver: Me. Cause I'm pretty handy on Geoff Crammonds F1 sims.

Car Liveries and Sponsors. Mastercard. Team utilised black magnetic strip on back of car to trigger timing beam early, saving 2secs per lap. In a search for minor sponsors, team also achieves some funding from Iceland, though this merely turns out to be complementary packs of frozen peas to stuff into the sidepods in place of dry ice before the race. Tom-Tom SatNavs are official supplier, so drivers know whether to turn left or right at next corner.

Tyres: Unable to afford a Bridgestone contract, they simply scavange them from tyre barriers at races.

I think perhaps the previous post is a little harsh on HWNSNBM - he wasn't THAT bad that he would merit a place in such a team, surely...

jonnyeol wrote:TEAM NAME: XYZ-VW

Engine Manufacturer: VW Diesel (they finally enter F1, but it has to be eco-friendly, and runs off used chip fat as a result)

Team Principal: That crazy bloke who used to run Onyx

Head Designer: None. Rejected designs from other teams simply stolen from trash cans outside their HQs. Early leaked photos indicated a squarish design with huge wings, but this was later found to be a photo of David Coulthard hang-gliding.

Head Mechanic/s: Outsourced to Kwik-Fit

Driver 1: Zsolt Baumgartner. Becuase I look for any excuse to Mention HWNSNBM

Driver 2: Winner of 'Race Idol 2010' on ITV

Test Driver: Me. Cause I'm pretty handy on Geoff Crammonds F1 sims.

Car Liveries and Sponsors. Mastercard. Team utilised black magnetic strip on back of car to trigger timing beam early, saving 2secs per lap. In a search for minor sponsors, team also achieves some funding from Iceland, though this merely turns out to be complementary packs of frozen peas to stuff into the sidepods in place of dry ice before the race. Tom-Tom SatNavs are official supplier, so drivers know whether to turn left or right at next corner.

Tyres: Unable to afford a Bridgestone contract, they simply scavange them from tyre barriers at races.

Driver 2 would be me, because I has mad skills man. No-one is gonna believe it but I beat Jos The Boss at GP4. Because I once visited Leafield, had a shot of their rudimentary simulator (basically GP4) and beat his time around Imola! Though it is my best track by miles
Can't believe I forgot to mention that on the "How close are you to F1" thread!

jonnyeol wrote:TEAM NAME: XYZ-VW

Wouldn't it be better to pull of a BMW-Williams solution and call the team VW-XYZ

TEAM NAME: F1-R (Sounds racy, little does the media know what the "R" REALLY stands for)

TEAM Principal: An entire internet forum group.

Manager of day-to-day operations: Keith Wiggins

Engines: Yamaha

Head designer: Andrew Tilley

Technical director: Gabriele Tredozi

Head Mechanic: Nigel Stepney

Race Drivers:
Jean-Denis Delatraz
Ricardo Rossett

Test/Reserve drivers:
Gaston Mazzacane (low speed testing)
Yuji Ide (crash testing)
Alex Yoong (patience testing)

Team PR/spokesperson: James Allen

Primary sponsor: Mastercard, then Lleyton House, then Enron, then George Foreman Grill, Then a Russian "adult themed" site, then some suspicious looking guy who will only bring money in briefcases.

HQ: Leafield, England. Former factory of Arrows then Super Aguri.

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On another note: It's my first post here, nice to meet you all!
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Pacifics only fan wrote:-------------------
On another note: It's my first post here, nice to meet you all!
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Welcome! Your name is untrue. Your with like-minded people here.

P-O-Fan, you'll like my website link.

As a hardcore Simtek fan, I hate Pacific F1. Andrea Montermini is the biggest traitor ever.

watka wrote:As a hardcore Simtek fan, I hate Pacific F1. Andrea Montermini is the biggest traitor ever.

I loved Simtek, but didn't hate Pacific - I saved that for Forti...

tristan1117 wrote:Head Designer: Whoever designed that.

By the looks of it 'twas probably George Lucas.