Grand Prix Rejects

Posted: **08 Nov 2012, 22:28**

HORRIBLY SERIOUS REAL-LIFE UPDATE

This series is going to have to take a break for a while. You'll have all seen the announcement on the WEC thread that says why that one's had to stop for a bit, and as the two have to run concurrently, that's why I have to slam the anchors on here as well. The reason should be obvious with a quick look at the Paul Stoddart forum. Rest assured, though, the WEC will start, this series will resume, and there's definitely another season to come on top of this one, in case anyone was wondering.

Posted: **14 Nov 2012, 03:50**

Hey Diniz, have you checked out the new wiki? It is here: http://f1alternate.shoutwiki.com

(no spamming intended)

Posted: **14 Nov 2012, 09:22**

Incredible. The whole of the old wiki has magically transferred! And the old one's even sprung back into life! That's saved a lot of work... and, also, this series can resume, as it will do... in about a week or so, as the timelines straighten themselves out.

Håpla!

Posted: **14 Nov 2012, 15:28**

dinizintheoven wrote:Incredible. The whole of the old wiki has magically transferred! And the old one's even sprung back into life! That's saved a lot of work... and, also, this series can resume, as it will do... in about a week or so, as the timelines straighten themselves out.

Håpla!

Call me a wizard and give me a pointy hat.

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 02:33**

Round 4: Monte Carlo, Monaco
Saturday, 30 May 2015

PRE-QUALIFYING

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1 –    17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'36.164
2 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'36.167
3 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'36.510
4 –    42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'37.547
5 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'37.631
6 –    36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'38.004
7 –    31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'38.094
8 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'38.340

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DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'38.555
DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'38.759
DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'39.045
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'39.187
DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'39.468
DNPQ – 13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'39.768
DNPQ – 26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'39.980

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DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'40.060
DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'40.476
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'41.015
DNPQ – 24 E. Tuero            Minardi        1'42.232
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'43.228
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'43.569
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'45.527

Sensation at Monaco! Absolute sensation, so much that Murray Hunt's pants have actually caught fire. Jan Magnussen has failed to pre-qualify. I repeat, Jan Magnussen has failed to pre-qualify, scoring him an instant Reject Of The Race. He's in the fastest car of this group by a long way. Marko Asmer showed that, even if he was beaten to the fastest time by an inspired Andrea Montermini, finally finding some speed in the Pacific. Magnussen was even beaten by Eliseo Salazar in the FIRST, and by over a second at that. The Dane complained loudly that he couldn't get a clear lap, couldn't see what he was doing in the driving rain, but this doesn't explain why all the others could get the job done, Asmer in particular doing so with consummate ease. Enrico Bertaggia could have been a fall guy today if he didn't watch his step, but sailed through the session anyway. Both Polestars and both Arrows also managed to make the cut, on a day where anything could happen (and ye gods, it did) and lower-powered cars were at much less of a disadvantage. Perry McCarthy in the Stefan was the other car to go through to the main qualifying, recording the seventh fastest time.

Salazar must wonder what he has to do to be able to qualify for a race. Ninth in the session, two and a half tenths off making the cut, maybe that is the closest FIRST will come to beating the pre-qualifying hurdle this year. Jean-Denis Délétraz still hasn't done so, neither have the two Hispanias, or Emmanuel Collard... but even they managed to record a faster lap than Jan Magnussen. That he beat Christophe Bouchut, who's got a fifth place to his name this year, will be no consolation. And the lowest of the low – Joël Camathias put in a better performance than usual but was still nowhere, the two Spykers were the wrong side of hopeless, and Esteban Tuero must surely be facing the sack now; all he could beat were the two Shekels and Milos Pavlovic, who we all expect to be occupying the bottom three places if all goes to plan, and even today, that did.

It certainly didn't go to plan for everyone. And at about 4:40 in the afternoon, as the rain eased slightly and all the engines had been switched off, all that could be heard over the remaining drizzle and the twittering of champagne-guzzling celebrities in the hospitality blocks was the raucous mirth coming from the Viking Racing garage at the fate of their former driver who had walked out on them and pointedly returned with his new team in tow, intending to beat the pants off the gold-coloured squadron. That would not be happening this weekend.

QUALIFYING

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1 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'34.243
2 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'34.574
3 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'35.422
4 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'35.585
5 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'35.780
6 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'35.920
7 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'36.166
8 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'36.254
9 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'36.332
10 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'36.665
11 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'36.751
12 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'36.756
13 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'37.382

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14 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'37.422
15 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'37.432
16 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'37.546
17 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'37.678
18 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'37.721
19 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'37.758
20 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'37.800
21 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'37.807
22 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'37.916
23 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'37.926
24 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'38.302
25 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'38.591
26 –   30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'38.797

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DNQ –  35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'38.798
DNQ –  29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'40.387

Dull, dull, dull, another Viking on pole... oh, wait, that's a number 2 on the car! So, those of you who doubted Tommy Rustad's ability to get the job done might want to rethink those views. And in a day for the number twos to shine, it was Shinji Nakano who was his nearest challenger. It reminds me a bit of F1 in 2004, when Michael Schumacher was nowhere and it left Jenson Button and Jarno Trulli to fight each other for the win, which was to be a first for either of them. That Yuji Ide is nine tenths behind his team-mate here bodes well for those two at the top to look for their first triumph. Gabriele Tarquini took fourth – he's looking for his, and Lancia's, first win in this series as well; Marko Asmer, lining up fifth, made a complete mockery of his team-mate's pre-qualifying ordeal. (Legend has it that Magnussen has already left Monaco and has made it as far as Germany, where he is drinking vast quantities of Liebfraumilch from a bucket.) Þorvaldur Einarsson might have been distracted by his former team leader's predicament, which is why he's only taken sixth and allowed Asmer to beat his time, but was at least the last to beat the 1'26 barrier. Chris Dagnall and Luca Badoer occupy row four, with Montreal winner Adrian Sutil and lead Leyton House, Hideki Noda, on row five. The power of the Suzuki engine was a bit too much for the conditions, so it seems – Noda only managed one clean lap all session. Philippe Alliot has every reason to be happy with 11th, given AGS' worries this year, with the top half of the grid rounded out by pre-qualifiers Kasper Andersen and Enrico Bertaggia, both of whom will be very keen to score this weekend.

Sebastian Hohenthal in the second Polestar took 14th, not a million miles away from his team-mate and just a hundredth ahead of Olivier Beretta, keen to put Canada behind him. Fabrizio Barbazza had even more problems with the Leyton House than Noda, and made the wrong tyre choice as well – you can't go out on inters in this weather, me old mucker! Eric van de Poele found himself in an ATS Rial sandwich, which will be sort-of-encouraging for the German team who haven't had the best of luck this year, and towards the back of the grid – Marco Apicella and Pedro Chaves will be very annoyed with their grid slots, 20th and 21st, then Andrea Montermini, the star of pre-qualifying, was sent right back down to earth in the main qualifying session – no beating Marko Asmer this time. He made it, though, as did Perry McCarthy and Vincenzo Sospiri – and on the back row, keeping Alex Yoong company, Domenico Schiattarella will finally make his race debut at the fourth time of asking, despite not having to pre-qualify. And he did so by the skin of his teeth – one thousandth of a second, which will be a disgustingly bitter pill for Vitantonio Liuzzi to have to swallow, as his pre-qualifying efforts came to nothing, and for such a minuscule margin... finally, what was Paul Belmondo doing? A 1'40 to be slowest by a second and a half? If only he could have founda second somewhere, he'd still have been dead last, but... in that case, every time posted in qualifying would have beaten Jan Magnussen's pre-qualifying time. As it was, Belmondo's was the only time to fall short of that mark.

RACE

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1 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    78   2h 09'36.584
2 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    78   2h 09'51.889
3 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           78   2h 10'11.949
4 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           77   + 1 lap                                                                      
5 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          77   + 1 lap                                                                      
6 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           77   + 1 lap                                                                      
7 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   77   + 1 lap                                                                      
8 –    42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       77   + 1 lap                                                                      
9 –    4  O. Beretta          AGS            77   + 1 lap                                                                      
10 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       76   + 2 laps                                                                      
11 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          76   + 2 laps                                                                      
12 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         76   + 2 laps                                                                      
13 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         76   + 2 laps

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14 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           76   + 2 laps                                                                      
15 –   30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         76   + 2 laps                                                                      
16 –   1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         54   oil leak                                                    
17 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         50   transmission                                                
18 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       44   loose wheel                                                 
19 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           41   crash                                                       
20 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   33   transmission                                                
21 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        32   electrical                                                  
22 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       23   water leak                                                  
23 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        19   transmission                                                
24 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           11   suspension                                                  
25 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            5    crash                                                       
26 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        3    transmission

When I say "the results do not tell the full story", then really, I mean it. They don't. Fortunately, this meant that as the rain continued to lash down on the crowd, they were treated to a sight for sore eyes... if they could see it.

Tommy Rustad led from the start, but Marko Asmer, determined to get one up on his moping team-mate and steal his thunder in his enforced absence, shot into second... where he spent 32 laps doing a fabulous impression of the Trulli Train. Try as they might, messrs. Nakano, Tarquini, Ide and Einarsson couldn't find a way past him – meanwhile, Chris Dagnall was doing much the same behind, and Rustad was streaking off into the distance. But the wet conditions meant water found its way into the engine bay, and Asmer retired on lap 32 with electrical gremlins. That should have let Nakano give chase... but Yuji Ide snuck past, and then – in a scene that could have come from a Laurel and Hardy film if only they'd been alive 70 years later – Super Aguri called both cars into the pits at the same time, neither one knowing that the other was going to be coming in as well. Nakano sat behind Ide, screamed abuse through the radio in Japanese, and when he was finally released from his stop he was sixth. What looked like a catastrophically rejectful strategy, though, turned out to be Yuji Ide's moment of triumph. Unfortunately, it had to come at the expense of Tommy Rustad, who'd built up a 54-second lead and was looking good to lap everyone off the podium. And then... crunch! A box full of neutrals, a broken Viking at the side of the road, and a steering wheel hurled at the Armco in sheer frustration. Ide didn't care – there was nobody to challenge him, with Gabriele Tarquini 13 seconds adrift and Nakano behind. Nakano, still seething with rage, overtook Tarquini in a crazily daring move round La Rascasse with three laps to go... only for Tarquini to then require a splash-and-dash the next lap, which dropped him to 20 seconds behind Nakano. So, add SAAC to the list of rejectful strategies for the day, then. With Þorvaldur Einarsson having also had to retire only four laps after Rustad with an oil leak, which amazingly took nobody else out, thus was completed a Monaco Grand Prix to forget for the Vikings. Chris Dagnall was in fourth, a lap down, and not in a position to challenge – maybe that's why SAAC decided to bring Tarquini in at that late stage. So it was Ide, Nakano, Tarquini on the podium – maximum points for Super Aguri, none for Viking or Ice One, but Nakano wore the expression of someone who'd just been told the Yakuza wanted to cut all his fingers off. Ide tried to console him, but the response was frosty at least. This had been Nakano's best chance for a win – for sure, said Rubens Barrichello, the team made him lose the race and there will almost certainly be a lot of blah blah blah blah blah. However, it was also Tommy Rustad's best chance of a win, and sheer awful bad luck robbed him.

With a lot of dropouts over the course of the race, it was a chance for smaller teams to score points, and two more teams are now on the scoresheet. Behind Chris Dagnall in fourth, came Adrian Sutil, Luca Badoer and Hideki Noda – then, in eighth, Sebastian Hohenthal, picking up four useful points for Polestar in their battle to escape pre-qualifying for the second part of the season - though they'll need a fair few more. AGS, who might be a team that slides into the Thursday afternoon lottery, scored two points with Olivier Beretta coming home ninth – that's his first score in F1RMGP after a whole year – and in tenth, Joachim Winkelhock put ATS Rial on the scoreboard, albeit with only one point. Pedro Chaves took eleventh for Forti on a day where they weren't really at the races, Sutil's positioning due more to luck than judgement, and in 12th – there's Perry McCarthy, in the Stefan, equalling the team's best ever result... but still not scoring a point. Vincenzo Sospiri, Alex Yoong and Domenico Schiattarella all managed to get to the chequered flag, two laps down, and though Schiattarella was dead last, that he finished has probably saved his bacon for now. He'll need a string of not-DNQs if he wants to hang onto the seat for the whole season, though.

To the retirements – the most significant one we've already covered was Marko Asmer, with his electrical problems on lap 33. Five cars had already vanished from underneath him, though – Andrea Montermini's Pacific lasted only three laps before the driveshaft broke – maybe he'd thrashed it too hard in pre-qualifying in that fine performance? Philippe Alliot thought he'd take a closer look at the chapel on Ste. Devote and drive into the wall next to it, Marco Apicella's suspension screamed enough after hitting a kerb too hard, and Kasper Andersen's Polestar sprang a water leak, though it was impossible to tell in these conditions until the car had been dragged into the garage. Following Asmer's demise, Fabrizio Barbazza had a box full of neutrals, Eric van de Poele overcooked it at Portier and did a brilliant impression of Ayrton Senna in 1988, Michael Ammermüller cursed his pit crew for not screwing his right rear wheel on hard enough, and finally, the two Vikings... who won't want me reminding them what happened again.

Jan Magnussen, meanwhile, had made it back to Denmark. He didn't watch the race, and was found passed out under a bridge in Aarhus, covered in empty cans of Slots Pilsener. Had he watched, he'd undoubtedly have laughed at the predicament of his former team. And then it'd have hit him that he should have been there, in the race, to take advantage...

And incidentally, Yuji Ide is in line for the very exclusive Jean-Pierre Jabouille Cup, having scored all his points from wins so far. I can't think he'll keep hold of that over another 14 races, though...

DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

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1 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           52
2 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    50
3 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          47
4 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         35
5 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        34
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           28
7 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    23
8 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           21
9 –    16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20
10 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
11 =   5  M. Apicella         Dome           15
11 =   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           15

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13 =   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   10
13 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        10
13 =   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
16 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         6
17 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       5
18 =   4  O. Beretta          AGS            2
18 =   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        2
20 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1

So... without winning a race yet, Gabriele Tarquini is leading the Drivers' Championship. Will he end up winning by consistency rather than occasional bouts of brilliance interspersed with bad luck or mediocrity? We will see...

Tommy Rustad is still on six points – it should, by all rights, be 31. And Marko Asmer, stuck on two, should be up to 20. But that's the way the cookie crumbles...

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

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1 =    Super Aguri    73
1 =    SAAC           73
3 –    Forti          65
4 –    F1RM           43
5 –    Viking         41
6 –    Ice One        36
7 –    Leyton House   30
8 –    Dome           15
9 =    SPAM           10
9 =    Minardi        10
11 –   Polestar       5
12 –   AGS            2
13 –   ATS Rial       1

THE APERTURA FINAL...

...was over before a wheel had ever been turned on the Friday! That's double Reject Of The Race for you, Mr Magnussen!

(5) Dagnall (4th) v (2) Magnussen (DNPQ)

So, Chris Dagnall wins the 2015 Apertura, without ever having come close to a win on the track yet, and without even getting on the podium. So now, PURE can say they've won a trophy. Stick that up your exhaust pipe and smoke it, naysayers...

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 04:28**

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 13:28**

Esteban Tuero wrote:*cries hysterically* For sure, the team made me lose my seat...

Rubens Barrichello wrote:Hey, that's my line! Why you steal it from me... *also cries hysterically*

Alex Zanardi wrote:Er, Signor Lindsay? No can do, I am training for the Paralympics. But, you know, I think I can go faster on my handcycle than that Tuero can in his Minardi.

Ricardo Rosset wrote:Hi.

Vittorio Zoboli wrote:My turn!

Dan Wheldon's fan club wrote:Bring back Dan! If anyone can, Bernie can!

Claude-Yves Gosselin wrote:Does anyone remember who I am?

Taki Inoue wrote:Follow me on Twitter.

Timo Glock wrote:Marussia to Minardi? Ja, I am liking this idea.

Jérôme d'Ambrosio wrote:I don't get it, Fernando, why does Timo want to take the drive that's clearly mine?

Timo Glock wrote:Because the car has my number on it, not yours.

Lucas di Grassi wrote:Does anyone remember me?

Everyone, including the staff of Pirelli and Marussia wrote:No. Who are you again?

Luiz Razia wrote:Hey, I coudn't get a drive in F1 after all my heroics in GP2. Pick me!

Davide Valsecchi wrote:No, me!

Luca Filippi wrote:Clearly it should be me.

Ricardo Teixeira wrote:Bitch, please.

Everyone in the world, especially anyone who this allegedly-Angolan clot has ever driven for, not least the defunct Mastercard Lola and GTM wrote:NO! GET HIM AWAY FROM HERE FOR EVER!

Heikki Kovalainen wrote:Timo, I hate you. You cost me my F1 drive.

Timo Glock wrote:Das ist nicht gut, ja?

Heikki Kovalainen wrote:Perkele.

Henri Karjalainen wrote:F1RMGP needs more Finns!

Mika Mäki wrote:Yes, definitely!

Harald Schlegelmilch wrote:More Baltic drivers as well.

Kazim Vasiliauskas wrote:Such as me!

Tõnis Kazemets wrote:No, me, obviously.

Robert Wickens wrote:Ra, ra, Marussia, Russia's greatest racing team!

Mikhail Aleshin wrote:Shut it, Robert, you're not even Russian.

Kirill Ladygin wrote:Slava, Rus'!

Plamen Kralev wrote:Heh. Hehhehhehhehheh. Fire. FIRE! FIRE! Heh. Heheheheheheheheh.

Daniel Riccardo wrote:Uhhhh... shut up, butthole. Don't make me kick your ass again.

Plamen Kralev wrote:Heh. Hehhehhehhehhehhehheh.

Daniel Ricciardo wrote:Huh. Huhhuhhuhhuhhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh. Huhhuhhuh.

Everyone else wrote:*changes channel*

Dennis Vitolo wrote:Y'all are not being TRUE 'MERICANS. I should get this seat, I'm rejectful enough for it! And I have an Italian name. Even though I am a TRUE 'MERICAN. Like Michael Andretti.

Michael Andretti wrote:...and we all know how it ended the last time we had an American F1RMGP team, right?

Jean-Pierre Frey wrote:If we're talking about Indy rejects, I am the greatest!

Rahel Frey wrote:*snarls*

Dr. Jack Miller wrote:Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!

Everyone else wrote:*switches off*

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 13:34**

Eddie Jordan wrote:I would just like to say if I may that I would warn Mr Lindsay not to be too hasty in his choice and to get it right first time, after all in the 1993 season when I was running my team I had five drivers in the second car and changed them too readily, compromising the team's results. Even though Marco Apicella was clearly the right choice all along. Finally, I would like to add that I got it right during the 1993 season, because any driver who wasn't performing needed to be moved on, especially Marco Apicella, I mean, crashing at the first corner, what was he thinking? This allowed me to search for the right driver which was Eddie Irvine and he scored a point for me in Japan and even got punched by the great Ayrton Senna for his troubles so I was right all along.

James Walker wrote:And all I can say to that is the title of a TV show by Penn & Teller. Get this lunatic off our transmission, now. Anyone fancy a pint? Of whisky?

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 15:29**

A mysterious lady wrote:I have a very good idea, people! We should use the second driver slot of the Hologram unit and put Lancia legend Henri Tovoinen there. This is the mightiest solution!

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 16:34**

Jean-Louis Schlesser wrote:I think that I should get the vacated Minardi spot, especially considering my sole claim to fame involves allowing an Italian team to take a 1-2 finish.

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 17:58**

Toranosuke Takagi wrote:Hi guys, I think what this series really needs is (another) Japanese driver

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 18:32**

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:*Steps out of time machine* Is someone in need of a driver? Look no furth-

Everyone else wrote:GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:Fine, fine...

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 19:04**

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:*Steps out of time machine* Is someone in need of a driver? Look no furth-

Everyone else wrote:GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:Fine, fine...

The mysterious lady, out of nowhere wrote:Oh, what. James Davies AGAIN. A no-good, narrow-minded, overly-ambitious, publicocrap-loving, hypocrite racing driver trying to invade F1RMGP. What's next? Kay "Best In The World For Publicocrap" Lon? Save that for the Bathurst Enduro, guys.

Her sound is like Kendl in GTA San Andreas, but she isn't Kendl.

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 19:14**

Johnny Dumfries wrote:Oh I say. Everyone has been mentioned for this spiffing seat, and I must say that i would simply love to put my hat into the ring too, so to speak, what what.

Jan van der Maeyede wrote:Vaht is going on here then?

Luke Knight wrote:*over the squeals produced as Dennis Vitolo hits someone over the head with a MERICAHN chair* No, everyone's squabbling over the second Minardi seat

Jan van der Maeyede wrote:Didn't you try to crack this series as well?

Luke Knight wrote:Errm...yeah. They loved us but... they, errm.... run out of.....certificates

Jan van der Maeyede wrote:I can offerh my shervicesh and Jaaagermeister...

Posted: **21 Nov 2012, 20:24**

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:*Steps out of time machine* Is someone in need of a driver? Look no furth-

Everyone else wrote:GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:Fine, fine...

The mysterious lady, out of nowhere wrote:Oh, what. James Davies AGAIN. A no-good, narrow-minded, overly-ambitious, publicocrap-loving, hypocrite racing driver trying to invade F1RMGP. What's next? Kay "Best In The World For Publicocrap" Lon? Save that for the Bathurst Enduro, guys.

F1RGP2C James Davies wrote:I don't know who this Kay Lon is, but he sounds just like Zimmer - a gigantic douche. Also, all those things you accused me of? Either lies or irrelevant to the fact that I'm quite clearly the greatest driver ever. And, oh, would you look at the time, I really ought to get back to 1997. We'll continue this conversation never.

Posted: **22 Nov 2012, 03:38**

BREAKING NEWS: Minardi team principal hospitalised in driver switch altercation

Paul Stoddart is in hospital this evening after attempting to approach Dr Francesca Rimmer about using the last vacant slot in the Hologram Projection Unit. Word is she was none too happy about running the server at its maximum capacity for the first time since the 2011 season, where it nearly overheated a couple of times when the Ferrari team were on one of their winning streaks. "Do I feel like a right gollah now," Stoddart said through a spokesman as he had his jaw bandaged up and was unable to actually talk, giving the statement by writing it on the back of a cardboard box of Foster's. "Nobody told me that old witch had a temper like an angry dingo. All I did was ask if I could put a driver in the last free hologram slot... she was wearing wooden clogs, and took one off and threw it at me. Hit me square in the face and now I'm here being rebuilt. Strewth!"

The injured Aussie's pain will no doubt be eased by the fact that Dr Rimmer has agreed to load his intended driver into the Hologram Projection Unit. And so, joining Lella Lombardi and Günther Schmidt in returning from the land of the dead, will be...

...find out when the announcement comes from Il Barone Rampante.

Posted: **22 Nov 2012, 04:39**

Tuttosport wrote:Ritorna Bettega!

Former Lancia WRC tarmac specialist Attilio Bettega, with the aid of the Hologram Projection Unit, will return to motor racing with Lancia Minardi in F1RMGP, according to our sources. The move comes after Esteban Tuero was sacked by the team for recording a string of pre-qualification failures, while team-mate Enrico Bertaggia has scored 10 points in the same number of events.

Posted: **22 Nov 2012, 22:16**

Really surprised that Don Pentecost hasn't tried to jump on the bandwagon in an effort to fleece millionaires/billionaires to fund his pet project(s)!

Posted: **23 Nov 2012, 07:18**

dr-baker wrote:Really surprised that Don Pentecost hasn't tried to jump on the bandwagon in an effort to fleece millionaires/billionaires to fund his pet project(s)!

Haven't you see the 2014 thread, dr-baker?

Posted: **23 Nov 2012, 21:31**

FMecha wrote:
dr-baker wrote:Really surprised that Don Pentecost hasn't tried to jump on the bandwagon in an effort to fleece millionaires/billionaires to fund his pet project(s)!

Haven't you see the 2014 thread, dr-baker?

OK, so maybe I meant I am surprised that he hasn't been more persistent and offered himself in the recently-vacated seat...

Posted: **25 Nov 2012, 10:41**

Legend has it that the ever-delightful Dr Francesca Rimmer has a sink in her computer lab, where the hot tap dispenses nuclear-strength black coffee, and the cold tap serves supercooled vodka. This has now been confirmed officially by Sir Bernard Balthazar Shekelslike Esquire, who threatened to cut the supply line to both if her ever more erratic behaviour didn't simmer down just a little bit. For instance, she spent a day watching Happy Gilmore on repeat play, and so traded her cricket bat for a golf club - a two-iron that is hardly ever used by anyone - and the clogs that she recently used to batter a mouse to death with and hurl at Paul Stoddart have been replaced with ice skates. Sir Bernie has intervened before she cut all her hair off in an attempt to look more like Adam Sandler. So now, suitably tranquilised, the eccentric genius has returned to concentrating on her work, and has fired up the Quattro - I mean, the last remaining slot in the Hologram Projection Unit. And Tuttosport were absolutely...

...wrong.

Hoots the noo, if ye say ye kenned that wis coming, then dinnae talk pish, because ye didnae. Scotland The Brave is back.

Paul Stoddart is expected to be released from hospital in time to get to Paul Ricard for Colin McRae's hologrammatic debut in the second Minardi, though paddock entrants should be warned that his face is a bit of a mess and will be for several weeks.

Posted: **26 Nov 2012, 21:23**

Round 5: Paul Ricard, France
Saturday, 6 June 2015

PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'43.294
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'43.390
3 –    24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        1'43.428
4 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'43.479
5 –    26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'43.925
6 –    36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'44.261
7 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'44.714
8 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'45.139

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'45.176
DNPQ – 42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'45.301
DNPQ – 35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'45.308
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'46.267
DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'46.344
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'46.884
DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'46.888

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'47.258
DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'47.684
DNPQ – 31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'47.925
DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'48.798
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'50.764
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'51.840
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'52.389

The ghost of Elio de Angelis still haunts the long layout of Paul Ricard, and as F1RMGP began its first race weekend here, a different type of ghost appeared in the pit lane, with Sir Bernie's Hologrammatic wake-up machine now running at full capacity. The light shone bright from the sky on a perfect almost-summer's day in the south of France, the light hardened to a shape resembling Colin McRae, and the fully-reconstituted Scot showed that the test he'd once had for Jordan in which he proved highly competitive was no fluke. It might even be said Enrico Bertaggia was scared by suddenly having a competitive team-mate. So, for the first time this year, both Minardis cleared pre-qualifying. Even so, it was Andrea Montermini who really stole the show, topping the timesheets for the second successive race, beating even the Ice One of Jan Magnussen, fired up to bursting point after his Monégasque embarrassment. McRae ran Magnussen all the way, not quite beating the Dane but showing Marko Asmer the way regardless. In front of the expectant French crowd, Christophe Bouchut broke through the pre-qualifying barrier for the second time this year, Vincenzo Sospiri again made sure Arrows would be represented on the Friday, Kasper Andersen had a slightly nervous time but maintained his 100% pre-qualifying record, and Enrico Bertaggia... came as close as he's ever done to not making the cut.

The fall guy was Emmanuel Collard, having a better day than usual, but try as he might, he couldn't quite beat Bertaggia's time and so was eliminated yet again at the first hurdle. Less than four hundredths of a second was all he had to find but he couldn't do it. Sebastian Hohenthal tasted defeat as well, becoming the first Polestar not to make the cut, when all bets were on it being Kasper Andersen who would be the first to fail. Seven thousandths separated him from Tonio Liuzzi, who again had to watch as Sospiri was the one to take Arrows forwards. Into the 1'46s, all over a second down on what they needed to be were the two Spykers with Jean-Denis Délétraz amd Sakon Yamamoto between them, then... Chanoch Nissany, putting the Shekel in a place nobody expected it to be. He was still two seconds away from making the cut, but that'll be bad news down the rest of the two Stefans, the two FIRSTs and Norberto Fontana, all of whom were slower – as, of course, was Adrian Shankar – but, despite being painfully slow, he still wasn't last. That dishonour had to go to Joël Camathias this time – in his defence the car misfired viciously all through the session and the team was concentrating on trying to get Eliseo Salazar up to speed. That won't help them when the classification for the Grand Reversal rolls round, not even slightly...

QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'42.221
2 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'42.428
3 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'42.764
4 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'42.806
5 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'42.927
6 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'43.014
7 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'43.354
8 –    11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'43.466
9 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'43.468
10 –   8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'43.681
11 –   27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'43.720
12 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'43.763
13 –   24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        1'43.974

Code: Select all

14 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'44.011
15 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'44.354
16 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'44.519
17 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'44.559
18 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'44.808
19 –   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'44.895
20 –   30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'45.137
21 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'45.170
22 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'45.213
23 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'45.431
24 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'45.475
25 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'45.879
26 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'46.811

Code: Select all

DNQ –  20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'48.390
DNQ –  6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'48.844

The Prost team in this series were stereotypically French with their diabolical arrogance. It took three years for that to die down, with the realisation that they weren't the top dogs they thought they should be. The arrival of DAMS scared them a bit, the merger to form SPAM forced a bit of humility into them, but the ascension of AGS was what really put the kybosh on their constant, loud trumpeting of La Marseillaise. Now, after a very rocky 2014 and a suspicious start to this season, the Gonfaron squad is back. Philippe Alliot had occasionally done wonderful things for Prost and SPAM when conditions allowed, which allowed him to be "promoted" to AGS, and now that move has paid off. There's the team's first pole position, the first for a diesel in the Main Series – because, of course, the first diesel pole of all went to Alice Powell in the WEC in Monaco, which was in a year-old SPAM... either way, the representatives from PSA are now looking very smug, even if it's the Citroën-badged version of their engine that's sitting there, smoking quietly to itself.

Tommy Rustad, meanwhile, proved his pole in Monaco was no fluke, because he's appeared on the front row of the grid again, with the resurgent Jan Magnussen behind him, fully recovered from his Monaco mauling. Luca Badoer, in fourth, never wanted to be the number two driver in the SAAC team – likewise, Shinji Nakano for Super Aguri, lining up fifth, will not want a repeat of the Monaco disaster that many say cost him a win. The current champion and his predecessor are next – Þorvaldur Einarsson and Chris Dagnall, followed by Pedro Chaves, Hideki Noda and Yuji Ide – Noda looks particularly low down in ninth, given that the severe power of the Suzuki engine should blow away the competition on the Mistral Straight. Still, straightline speed is one thing, cornering ability is quite another...

Gabriele Tarquini, the current championship leader, will be disappointed with 11th, especially if starting in the middle of that pack ultimately costs him that lead. Marko Asmer desperately wants more points than he has, whereas the hologrammatic Colin McRae will be looking to erase the memory of Minardi's toils with Esteban Tuero by scoring at the first opportunity. From the top half of the grid – just – it's certainly possible. Meanwhile, in the second half, Marco Apicella in the slightly awkward Dome has found himself on row seven, with Kasper Andersen in the horribly underpowered (and lone) Polestar somehow managed to beat Fabrizio Barbazza in the tremendously powerful Leyton House – he must have been having an off-day. As was Olivier Beretta, clearly, but he may suggest that Aslliot has punched well above the AGS' weight, because after all, he's the one with the points on the board. He also has a DNQ this year, mind...

18th place went to Andrea Montermini, who was again unable to replicate his pre-qualifying heroics in the main qualifying draw; Christophe Bouchut followed him, so that made three French diesels on the grid in total, and behind him was Domenico Schiattarella – 20th isn't great, but is a hell of a lot better than he's managed so far this year. Maybe the sacking of Esteban Tuero has made him realise he was in danger. Adrian Sutil, Paul Belmondo and a strangely off-key Enrico Bertaggia followed – nothing like your new team-mate who's been dead for eight years handing you a trouncing to give you a wake-up call, is there, Bertie? Finally, in the last three places were Vincenzo Sospiri, Eric van de Poele – terrifyingly perched on the back row of the grid for the once-mighty F1RM – and Joachim Winkelhock, last of all and fourth of the diesels.

That Smokin' Jo was on the grid at all was something of a mystery. Rumours of sabotage spread round the paddock as Michael Ammermüller not only failed to qualify, but did so by a huge margin. Winkelhock was a secong behind van de Poele as well. Had some representatives of PSA been carrying out their own version of Meat-Pie-Gate? Ammermüller should not have been on the radio complaining of a severe lack of power when the other diesels were sailing past him on a circuit that suits them, as Alliot proved. All will soon be revealed. As for Alex Yoong, he was all at sea and was just plain slow...

RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    3  P. Alliot           AGS            53   1h 36'54.112
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        53   1h 37'36.950
3 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         53   1h 37'56.842
4 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   53   1h 38'28.927
5 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        53   1h 38'36.398
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           52   + 1 lap                                                     
7 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           52   + 1 lap                                                     
8 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    52   + 1 lap                                                     
9 –    5  M. Apicella         Dome           52   + 1 lap                                                     
10 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            52   + 1 lap                                                     
11 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       52   + 1 lap                                                     
12 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   52   + 1 lap                                                     
13 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          52   + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         52   + 1 lap                                                     
15 –   17 A. Montermini       Pacific        52   + 1 lap                                                     
16 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        51   + 2 laps                                                    
17 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           51   + 2 laps                                                    
18 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       51   + 2 laps                                                    
19 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           49   + 5 laps (DNF)                                              
20 –   24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        44   suspension                                                  
21 –   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           34   transmission                                                
22 –   8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    20   suspension                                                  
23 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         19   crash                                                       
24 –   30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         19   crash                                                       
25 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          11   water leak                                                  
26 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         4    crash

Sacre Bleu!

We were, actually, all set for a titanic battle of a race. And then Philippe Alliot took a hammer to that plan and smashed into little bits. When he sprinted off from the line, with only an equally fast-starting Jan Magnussen for company, the fuel strategies leaked. Magnussen was light; Alliot was very light. So, surely, the rest of the field would catch them up later? Not a bit of it. As the race progressed, Þorvaldur Einarsson looked like the only potential challenger – he'd been making his way up through the field slowly but surely, baulked by a lot of slow traffic but battering past them on the straights, and he'd started on a heavy fuel load. So it was assumed he was on two stops, Alliot and Magnussen were on three...

...wrong. Not only were they both on two stops, but AGS trounced Ice One in every category, Alliot driving out of his skin, the pit crews working with the kind of accuracy only usually seen on a Swiss watch, and at the end of it all, Alliot was not just the winner, but he'd streaked away from Magnussen by 40-odd seconds. That win that AGS had been so desperate for ever since they started to climb the field in 2012, that had so far eluded them even when Gabriele Tarquini was driving, finally it had come – in their own backyard, with the team's headquarters in Gonfaron just a stone's throw away (relative to Magny-Cours, at least). It was a day for age over youth – Philippe Alliot is 60 and the oldest driver in the field, with Þorvaldur Einarsson the youngest at a mere 28 – and for Gallic diesel power over Nordic petrol-with-a-hint-of-ethanol, but all three podium-sitters sprayed the champagne with the fervour we'd expect.

Having looked like he'd be nowhere all weekend, Hideki Noda sprang into life on race day to salvage fourth for Leyton House – aided and abetted by a few retirements, but also by the power of the Suzuki engine. Marko Asmer, who'd also quietly made his way through the traffic, was the last to finish on the lead lap, so far into the zone was the victorious Alliot. So Chris Dagnall came home sixth but a lap down, chased all the way by Gabriele Tarquini, and also by Shinji Nakano who'd had a second successive race to forget, though for different reasons this time – his hatchet job on Tommy Rustad on lap 5 gave him a puncture and put him stone dead last, but confined the Norwegian to another frustrating early bath. In ninth, Marco Apicella rescued a bit of pride for Dome, the only car of its kind in the field, and the final points place went to Olivier Beretta, who had obligingly let his team-mate lap him and then done everything he could to block the competition, especially if it was gold or garish black and green. Beretta had to fend off Kasper Andersen for that final point, the Dane determined to get himself on the scoresheet and really rub battery acid into his team-mate's wounds, but it was not to be, and Sebastian Hohenthal raised a wry smile from the pit wall as Beretta crossed the line tenth. Fabrizio Barbazza was a lowly 12th, having not make the kind of progress Noda did, ahead of Adrian Sutil, Vincenzo Sospiri – still no closer to scoring a point for Arrows – and ditto for Pacific, Andrea Montermini. How has he not been able to turn his recent pre-qualifying performances into something convincing on race day? Is he all burnt out after the Thursday nerve-jangler?

Two laps down, the real stragglers were Enrico Bertaggia and Eric van de Poele, strangely off the pace for most of the weekend (though, fortunately for Bertie, not on the Thursday), and last of all, Joachim Winkelhock – he'd brought the ATS Rial to the finish, but was a long way back, almost three laps adrift. Investigations as to what might have happened to the Audi diesel engine will no doubt continue into the night. Luca Badoer was officially the last classified finisher, but his Lancia engine had expired five laps from the finish. As for the other retirements: Tommy Rustad was, as mentioned, the first to drop out, being Shinjinated after four laps. Mirror, signal, bash, straight into a tyre wall. Pedro Chaves' Forti decided to spray water everywhere after 11 laps, then after 19 came the Reject Of The Race moment: what's the golden rule of racing, what do you not do? Crash into your team-mate, that's what, and that's exactly what the two Simtek drivers did, both going for the Saint-Beaurne corner at the same time, two into one won't go, and Simtek have an expensive repair bill. Nick Wirth might think about replacing both driver at once at this rate. Yuji Ide followed a lap later with suspension failure, also at Saint-Beaurne – maybe debris from the Simtek crash was involved. And it wasn't all good news for the French, as Christophe Bouchut's gearbox failed after 34 laps, thus robbing SPAM of more potential points, if only he could have brought the car home as he did in Mexico. And finally, debutant Colin McRae was on course to prove that his selection ahead of the sacked Esteban Tuero was an inspired one, as he was running ninth – which would have been eighth when Luca Badoer retired in the closing stages – but his Minardi's suspension couldn't handle the job anymore and his race was run. Still, that certainly gives the Italian team with the Aussie flavour hope that their future is rather brighter now.

DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           58
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        52
3 =    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         50
3 =    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    50
5 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          47
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           36
7 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    27
8 –    3  P. Alliot           AGS            25
9 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   22
10 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           21
11 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20
12 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
13 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           17

Code: Select all

14 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           15
15 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        12
16 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        10
16 =   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
18 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         6
17 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       5
18 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            3
20 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    SAAC           79
2 –    Super Aguri    77
3 –    Forti          65
4 –    Ice One        64
5 –    Viking         56
6 –    F1RM           51
7 –    Leyton House   42
8 –    AGS            28
9 –    Dome           17
10 =   Minardi        10
10 =   SPAM           10
12 –   Polestar       5
13 –   ATS Rial       1

Posted: **26 Nov 2012, 21:39**

dinizintheoven wrote:Nick Wirth might think about replacing both driver at once at this rate.

I guess you could say they were Wirthless :mrgreen:

Sorry...

Posted: **29 Nov 2012, 17:54**

J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:F1RM to close after this season?

The alarming decline of F1RM has led to rumors that the team will be closed at the end of this year. Indeed, the team laid off 25 employees due to team's debt. The team is now going uncompetitive for the top-field, although the team is currently blaming it on the PURE engine and van de Poele. No-one from F1RM were available for comment - although we understand that Kay Lon's "Best in the World" brand is reported to sign a deal with them.

Fire breaks out at AGS garage

Just after the podium sequence at the French GP - a race that Philippe Alliot, of AGS wins today - a fire broke out in the AGS garage. An AGS pit crew team member, who witnessed the incident, said that the fire apparently broke out from the fuel rig, although others claimed it came from spare fuel from Beretta's car. The issue is under investigation.

Diniz, can you comment on this and the previous rumors?

Posted: **02 Dec 2012, 01:27**

F1RMGP News Round-Up with Excitable Jimmy Allinson

...who isn't quite so excitable anymore since starting a course of tranquilisers. I knew his radio commentary in France wasn't quite what it should have been.

F1RM: "We're not going anywhere!"

And thus it was that His Holiness HWNSNBM appeared before the amassed throngs, in a glowing shower of light (that one of the not-sacked employees had left on behind him). And the lord spake, with the help of his trusty Hungarian-English phrasebook that was further translated from the bawdy gibberish innuendo that it would inevitably come out as, saying: "Where in the name of a king-sized bathplug did that come from? We're the in-house team. We have a guaranteed spot on the entry list that even Viking Racing don't have, the 2013 Drivers' Champion in one of the cars, we're still ahead of Leyton House, and we have our collective eyes on something big. We're just not going to tell you what it is. You'll have to wait for the 2016 season for that... and we'll be there."

His Holiness refused to be drawn to an answer on what "something big" was, but given the nature of his phrasebook, it was probably better not to ask. Rumours by one journalist that it was a sponsorship deal with Futha Mucka Piney Shine floor polish, imported from some tin-pot South American dictatorship that does not appear on any map, were defused with a swift clout to the back of the head.

PURE, meanwhile, were adamant that they were not at fault, fully expecting Shell JLD Motorsport to win a race in the WEC this year with their old engine, and expecting Chris Dagnall to come through this year's chaos and mount a late challenge with the uprated engine which is definitely more powerful than the previous incarnation. Even the engine run by Pacific, which is last year's, has had enough tweaks for them to be packing more of a punch than the pathetic Kia as run by FIRST and, as everyone has worked out by now, also by Polestar.

Eric van de Poele would like to remind everyone that he was on pole in Canada.

AGS not very good at lying

Someone from a rival team caught sight of what the AGS mechanics were actually doing after Philippe Alliot brought the team their first win. If you must celebrate with flaming absinthe shots, at least make sure the fuel leaks have been fixed first.

Tuero embarrasses himself further

Esteban Tuero is already looking for new ways to get back to F1RMGP after his contract was terminated by Minardi after the Monaco Grand Prix. Word is, he is trying to oust Adrian Shankar from the seat at Shekel. Even though Shankar's motorsport career was as much of a fabrication as his exploits in cricket, I can't help thinking that if Tuero couldn't get the job done in a Lancia-powered Minardi, what hope would he have at the least organised team on the grid?

An imposter in the media?

It is now suspected that the journalist who operates under the name Not Joe Saward is, in fact, Joe Saward. Suspicions were aroused when NJS published an article criticising the entire F1RMGP setup, the Arrows Grand Prix team, and Neotech, all for sabotaging Vitantonio Liuzzi's chances this year. Liuzzi has done far better than anyone could have thought, with the tumultuous last-minute accession of the team to this series with only the ashes of EuroBrun to give them a heads-up, but apparently that's not enough for NJS - the fact that Tonio hasn't won all five races this season by a clear lap (something that Þorvaldur Einarsson did in Brazil, remember...) is evidence in his book of unfair treatment.

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 02:14**

Round 6: Silverstone, England
Saturday, 20 June 2015

PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'30.909
2 –    23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'31.803
3 –    18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'32.123
4 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'32.456
5 –    33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'32.697
6 –    14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'32.773
7 –    22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'32.975
8 –    36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'33.101

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       1'33.142
DNPQ – 25 E. Collard          SPAM           1'33.179
DNPQ – 17 A. Montermini       Pacific        1'33.256
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         1'33.422
DNPQ – 31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         1'33.496
DNPQ – 26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           1'33.777
DNPQ – 41 K. Andersen         Polestar       1'33.864

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        1'33.869
DNPQ – 39 E. Salazar          FIRST          1'34.191
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       1'34.303
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         1'35.517
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          1'35.679
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         1'36.889
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         1'37.255

Some of these teams will be participating in pre-qualifying for the last time. One of those, to nobody's surprise, will be Ice One – unless the race is totally bonkers, even more so than Hungary last year, I don't think there's any way they will not escape. The session will probably be saying arrivederci to Minardi as well, as Enrico Bertaggia continues to pull more out of that car than was ever thought possible. Those two were clearly out in front, Jan Magnussen breaking the 1'31 barrier and Bertaggia the 1'32, with 1'33 effectively the target for survival. Jean-Denis Délétraz finally showed some form, and will be Pacific's sole representative on the grid for qualifying proper, instead of Andrea Montermini. Tonio Liuzzi was fourth for Arrows, the second team to get both cars through pre-qualifying, followed by Gregor Foitek, another debutant in qualifying proper for this season, and the second appearance for a Spyker. Marko Asmer trailed in sixth, nervously far back given the car he was in, but still, he's made it through six times out of six, like Bertaggia but unlike Magnussen. Norberto Fontana managed to get just enough performance out of Hispania to make their first break through the pre-qualifying barrier, and Vincenzo Sospiri was the last to beat the clock – not quite breaking 1'33 but still above the cut. Just below it, by four hundredths, was Sebastian Hohenthal – this wasn't Polestar's day, and they're packing up and going home on the Thursday for the first time this season, which definitely means that'll be participating here for another six races.

Emmanuel Collard was tenth, but that makes it six Thursday washouts out of six for him, and with Christophe Bouchut also not making the cut, that keeps SPAM in this session as well – they're even on points with Minardi but have more DN(P)Qs, so thanks to the efforts of Enrico Bertaggia, they must stay here. Andrea Montermini and Karun Chandhok were next, but aren't too anxious about their teams' chances, given that both have one representative for the Friday. Perry McCarthy initially looked to be on form, but was too slow to make the cut in the underperforming Stefan, so they're gone, and with Bouchut and Andersen behind, as mentioned it's goodnight Vienna for SPAM and Polestar and their chances of escaping pre-qualifying. Amazingly, Colin McRae not only didn't make it in front of a large contingent of Scots who had made the long trek to Silverstone to cheer him on, but he was miles away in a Tuero-esque performance. Still, barring a total disaster he'll never have to do this session again, so no big loss. And the last six, no surprises – the two FIRSTs, Sakon Yamamoto, Milos Pavlovic, and the two Shekels, right at the back where they belong and cast considerably adrift from the pack.

QUALIFYING

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1 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    1'30.186
2 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           1'30.306
3 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    1'30.957
4 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           1'31.233
5 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        1'31.237
6 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           1'31.392
7 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         1'31.797
8 –    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           1'32.002
9 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         1'32.130
10 –   15 H. Noda             Leyton House   1'32.155
11 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           1'32.280
12 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          1'32.404
13 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            1'32.482

Code: Select all

14 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         1'32.535
15 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        1'32.571
16 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          1'32.668
17 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   1'32.893
18 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       1'33.012
19 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1'33.170
20 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        1'33.209
21 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            1'33.218
22 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1'33.740
23 –   18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        1'33.939
24 –   33 G. Foitek           Spyker         1'34.097
25 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           1'34.257
26 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         1'34.667

Code: Select all

DNQ –  22 N. Fontana          Hispania       1'34.874
DNQ –  30 D. Schiattarella    Simtek         1'35.715

Fans flocked from all corners of the Not-as-united-as-it-once-was Kingdom to cheer on their heroes. English fans turned out in droves to support Chris Dagnall, Scots painted their faces in Braveheart blue and white and slunk off home after the Thursday afternoon blaming Colin McRae's failure on the English, and the Welsh... well, it's no bother. But happiest of all would be the Japanese, with Yuji Ide knocking most of the field into next week to take pole, and Shinji Nakano right up the sharp end of the action, with a resurgent Luca Badoer between them, desperate to prove that Gabriele Tarquini has just been lucky. Such is the competitive nature of this season that the definition of "a really fast car" is one that generally qualifies in the top ten, and looking at that top ten, you can see why. Chris Dagnall found some speed in the F1RM, cheered on by the home crowd, Jan Magnussen sailed to fifth, while Gabriele Tarquini, in sixth, was no slouch. The Vikings took seventh and ninth, unusually low for them but still well in contention, with Eric van de Poele between them; stung by recent criticism, he and the F1RM team are coming out fighting, make no mistake. Rounding off the top ten was Hideki Noda – you'd have thought that the Leyton House would have a distinct advantage on this track, but yet again they let it slip somewhat. Slightly down on power but no less determined, Marco Apicella took 11th for Dome, with {edro Chaves and Paul Ricard winner Philippe Alliot completing the top half of the grid.

Fourteenth and starting the second half was Tonio Liuzzi, Joe Saward having turned out personally for this race with a banner declaring him the winner. He'll need to put big points on the board to get Arrows out of pre-qualifying, though. Marko Asmer was too low down for where his car should be, especially given that he can win in a Simtek; ditto Adrian Sutil, a winner this year, and Fabrizio Barbazza, a winner last year in the non-championship Grand Reversal – they occupied 15th to 17th places. ATS Rial are in serious trouble of sliding right down the field, but Michael Ammermüller tried his best to arrest that slide, qualifying 18th with no perfidery obvious from other teams. Then came Vincenzo Sospiri in the second Arrows and Enrico Bertaggia in the sole Minardi; it is worth noting that from Sospiri downwards, all these drivers who came through pre-qualifying posted a qualifying time that would have handed them the dreaded DNPQ the day before. Olivier Beretta and Joachim Winkelhock, 21st and 22nd, didn't have to go through that ordeal but Smokin' Jo soon will, unless ATS Rial get a huge result here. Jean-Denis Délétraz finally made his first appearance in a race this year at the sixth time of asking, as did Gregor Foitek, and the last row consisted of Alex Yoong and Paul Belmondo. So, that meant Norberto Fontana's efforts on the Thursday were all in vain, as after pre-qualifying for the first time, he couldn't get the job done on the Friday and crashed out of the reckoning. Ditto Domenico Schiattarella – Simtek will now almost certainly slide into pre-qualifying, and with four DNQs out of six when he hasn't had to clear the Thursday hurdle, we may not see any more of him on race day this year.

RACE

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1 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    60   1h 36'18.629
2 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           60   1h 36'40.708
3 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        60   1h 36'41.765
4 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           60   1h 36'48.921
5 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         60   1h 37'02.695
6 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   60   1h 37'48.555
7 –    3  P. Alliot           AGS            59   + 1 lap                                                     
8 –    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           59   + 1 lap                                                     
9 –    5  M. Apicella         Dome           59   + 1 lap                                                     
10 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         59   + 1 lap                                                     
11 –   20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       59   + 1 lap                                                     
12 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          59   + 1 lap                                                     
13 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        59   + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        59   + 1 lap                                                     
15 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         59   + 1 lap                                                     
16 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            59   + 1 lap                                                     
17 –   29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         58   + 2 laps                                                    
18 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       58   + 2 laps                                                    
19 –   33 G. Foitek           Spyker         56   + 4 laps                                                    
20 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           46   engine                                                      
21 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   46   loose wheel                                                 
22 –   6  A. Yoong            Dome           36   engine                                                      
23 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         23   engine                                                      
24 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          21   supercharger                                                
25 –   8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    19   transmission                                                
26 –   18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        15   engine

Every dog has its day. Today's the day, and Shinji Nakano's the dog.

Right at the start of the race, it looked like it would be a two-way battle between Yuji Ide and Luca Badoer for the win. As they swapped places constantly over the first few laps, with Nakano and Tarquini keeping a watch on proceedings, Ide eventually came out on top, pulling away slowly but steadily to what everyone thought would be an easy win. His engine, though, had other ideas – whether Mugen have been trying some experimental parts in an attempt to thrust him forwards at the front, or whether they've turned up the gas so much the engine is too stressed, nobody knows, but everyone could see the cloud of white smoke, and everyone could see Ide's frustration at even more points lost. SAAC, meanwhile, were in fits of delight. Badoer was up the front, and looking like he was cruising to SAAC's first win in the Il Barone Rampante guise, and also Lancia's first win of all. Instead... three quarters of the way through the race, his engine had other ideas as well. Boom. Poweful the Lancia engine may be, but this one was also rather fragile, even though Badoer wasn't exactly thrashing it to within an inch of its life, because he didn't have to. So this left the Shinjinator out in front – and he didn't have it all his own way, because Gabriele Tarquini could see his first win on the horizon instead, and Jan Magnussen, desperate to prove that leaving Viking wasn't an error, could smell the blood of both of them, and set about chasing them down like a hungry wolf. But it wasn't to be for him, or Tarquini. Nakano held on, eventually winning by 22 seconds when it became obvious to Tarquini that it was all over, and so he won his first F1RMGP race, considering this karmic payback for the race he should have won at Monaco. Still, Silverstone's a pretty good place to do that. Tarquini, also, held on for second and so increases his championship lead to nine points – even though he hasn't won a race yet. And Jan Magnussen took third, showing that the aberration in Monaco was exactly that, and had he not had that embarrassing DNPQ, it would probably be him that was leading the championship having scored points in every race. He hasn't, but Tarquini has and is the only driver to have done so.

So, below the podium, the home favourite and 2013 champion, Chris Dagnall, who was a mere seven seconds behind Magnussen, was followed home by 2014 champion, Þorvaldur Einarsson – who's kept himself in contention for this year's title, and in third place is the highest-placed driver in the championship who actually has a win this year. Weird, that, isn't it? Sixth was Hideki Noda, somewhat fortunate to be that high up due to the retirements ahead of him but who should have been there or there abouts anyway; Philippe Alliot helped his and AGS' cause coming home in seventh, while Eric van de Poele, Marco Apicella and Tommy Rustad completed the points. Rustad in particular cursed his bad start which had dropped himself down to 13th, and he had to spend most of the race compensating for that... if only those brilliant performances in Monaco and France could have actually had a result tied to them, but such is fate... Eleventh, and not too far short of bashing Rustad off the road to take that final point was Michael Ammermüller, who did everything he could to keep his team out of that dreaded Thursday afternoon trial by fire, but it was not to be – the car isn't really up to it this year. Pedro Chaves, Marko Asmer, Enrico Bertaggia, Vincenzo Sospiri and Olivier Beretta trundled in a lap down, Beretta almost having his gearbox felt by Shinji Nakano as the race ended. Paul Belmondo and Joachim Winkelhock were the only two drivers to finish two laps down, and... with no obvious problems, how Gregor Foitek turned his first start into a miserable four-lap-gone finish is anyone's guess – but at least he brought the Spyker to the chequered flag for the first time this year. Neotech's main team they may be, but Arrows are giving them a thrashing this year, even though neither have scored.

So to the retirements. In a largely processional race, only the steady stream of retirements provided any mystery, particularly those at the front. Jean-Denis Délétraz did what he could in his Pacific until the PURE engine – the old one – gave up the ghost after only 15 laps; Yuji Ide's transmission failure threw him out of the lead, Adrian Sutil found it's not all good to have a supercharger at your disposal when it breaks down for no good reason, Tonio Liuzzi saw his engine explode which made the mysterious Not Joe Saward cry, not to mention the rest of his team who had hopes for a point or two, Alex Yoong suffered the same fate but was nowhere at the time, Luca Badoer was the last of the engine detonation retirements when he was on the road to victory, and Reject Of The Race goes to Leyton House's pit crew for taking Fabrizio Barbazza out of a charge to the major points by failing to tighten a wheel nut properly, leaving the once-big-haired Italian fuming at the side of the track.

Six rounds down, it's time for the pre-qualifying shuffle. And also, if we keep a check on all the trophies, Yuji Ide is still in contention for the Jean-Pierre Jabouille Cup! Philippe Alliot isn't, though, after his six points for seventh, but AGS need those to go with his win. Ide, I suspect, would gratefully trade that cup for more points where his car has let him down.

DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           76
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        67
3 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         60
4 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    52
5 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    50
6 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           48
7 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          47
8 –    3  P. Alliot           AGS            31
9 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   30
10 –   28 L. Badoer           SAAC           21
11 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20
12 =   5  M. Apicella         Dome           19
12 =   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           19

Code: Select all

14 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
15 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        12
16 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        10
16 =   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
18 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         7
17 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       5
18 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            3
20 –   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    Super Aguri    102
2 –    SAAC           97
3 –    Ice One        79
4 =    Viking         67
4 =    F1RM           67
6 –    Forti          65
7 –    Leyton House   50
8 –    AGS            34
9 –    Dome           19
10 =   Minardi        10
10 =   SPAM           10
12 –   Polestar       5
13 –   ATS Rial       1

This table also shows who's escaped pre-qualifying for the next six races. Ice One are, obviously, well clear. But... with Minardi and SPAM tied for tenth place, the number of DN(P)Qs determines the position. Minardi have five (four of them courtesy of Esteban Tuero), SPAM have ten (including six from Emmanuel Collard who hasn't cleared that hurdle yet). So, Minardi escape pre-qualifying, along with Ice One. And into the pit fall ATS Rial and Simtek.

The next six races determine who escapes for the last third of the season.

THE QUALIFYING CUP

Time for the latest check on how this minor trophy is progressing...

1. Ide 81; 2. Einarsson 67; 3. Nakano 56; 4. Badoer 50; 6. Dagnall 48; 6. Rustad 45; 7. Magnussen 44; 8=. Chaves & Tarquini 39; 10. van de Poele 29; 11. Alliot 25; 12. Sutil 24; 13. Apicella 12; 14=. Noda & Asmer 10; 16=. Barbazza & Bouchut 8; 18. Bertaggia 6; 19. Belmondo 4; 20. Liuzzi 1.

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 18:29**

J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Super Aguri dossier found in Polestar engineer's house

A dossier containing hundreds of photocopied secret and vital data regarding Super Aguri SA15 was found in a Polestar Racing enginner's house. The engineer, idenitity unknown, is one of two Danish enginners that Super Aguri once fired. The pages were apparently photocopied in a local photocopier shop, and the engineer taken it away with him when he was fired from Super Aguri. No one from Super Aguri or Polestar were available for comment.
---
Follow @JOURNAL-GPNews on Twitter for latest rumors and news from F1RWRS, F1RMGP and more as it happened.

OOC: The Twitter account is fictional.

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 18:50**

The Daily Evening Sun Standard Times wrote:J.O.U.R.N.A.L. PERSONNEL SEIZED
Several J.O.U.R.N.A.L. employees, including 5 reporters, editor, and editor-in-chief have been arrested by police today at J.O.U.R.N.A.L. offices off the M25 in Hertfordshire. The newspaper, which reports on all motorsport series, has become increasingly scandalous with it's accusations, and some hard line press reformists claim the entire newspaper should be shut down.

The Metropolitan Police have issued a statement: "We have arrested 7 J.O.U.R.N.A.L. employees after reports of slander and false stories. We wish to further question them about the reported fabrication of information."

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 18:57**

Catalyst Media Inc would like to note that J.O.U.R.N.A.L 's editorial offices is NOT located at M25 in Hertfordshire, UK, contary to what The Daily Evening Sun Standard Times reported.

[OOC: Catalyst Media Inc is the company that owns J.O.U.R.N.A.L and some other journalistic publications, including The Daily Catalyst, an international newspaper with occasional bias-shift,

]

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 18:58**

FMecha wrote:Catalyst Media Inc would like to note that the editorial office of J.O.U.R.N.A.L 's editorial offices is NOT located at M25 in Hertfordshire, UK, contary to what The Daily Evening Sun Standard Times reported.

[OOC: Catalyst Media Inc is the company that owns J.O.U.R.N.A.L and some other journalistic publications, including The Daily Catalyst, an international newspaper with occasional bias-shift, ]

Just for your information, the M25 is a major orbital motorway around London, so if your offices were located there it'd be a bit of a problem :lol:

Posted: **04 Dec 2012, 19:00**

pasta_maldonado wrote:
FMecha wrote:Catalyst Media Inc would like to note that the editorial office of J.O.U.R.N.A.L 's editorial offices is NOT located at M25 in Hertfordshire, UK, contary to what The Daily Evening Sun Standard Times reported.

[OOC: Catalyst Media Inc is the company that owns J.O.U.R.N.A.L and some other journalistic publications, including The Daily Catalyst, an international newspaper with occasional bias-shift, ]

Just for your information, the M25 is a major orbital motorway around London, so if your offices were located there it'd be a bit of a problem

So what TDESST reported was an "Yo Dawg" situation, eh?

Posted: **09 Dec 2012, 16:32**

News hot off the press: Schiattarella sacked!

With barely a day to go until the practice sessions for the Belgian Grand Prix, Domenico Schiattarella has found himself surplus to requirements at Simtek. The team have to pre-qualify at this race and for the following five at least, and with Schiattarella's record of four DNQs out of six, when only the bottom two drivers are eliminated from the main qualifying session, was a huge hindrance to the team's efforts and was too much for Nick Wirth to tolerate. So he's joined forces with a driver he worked with at Virgin - step forward Jérôme d'Ambrosio, who should also bring sponsorship from an English manufacturer of custard. d'Ambrosio had no chance to get near the unrejectification places in the MVR-02 during 2011, and thoughts that he might stun everyone in his one-off race in the 2012 F1 season came to nothing. The Simtek machinery is nowhere near as competitive as it has been in previous seasons - just ask Slim Borgudd and Marko Asmer what can be done with a good car and a healthy dose of luck - but the signs say d'Ambrosio will put a far better showing in than Schiattarella ever threatened to do.

Meanwhile, the Italian with the unpronounceable name is looking for an alternative drive when one of the other teams inevitable run out of patience with an underperforming driver, the way he did in 1995. Oh, wait...

Posted: **10 Dec 2012, 04:25**

Round 7: Spa-Francorchamps, Belgium
Saturday, 4 July 2015

PRE-QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    25 E. Collard          SPAM           2'09.875
2 –    30 J. d'Ambrosio       Simtek         2'09.928
3 –    31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         2'10.255
4 –    20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       2'10.978
5 –    35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         2'11.015
6 –    36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         2'11.110
7 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       2'11.312
8 –    39 E. Salazar          FIRST          2'11.562

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       2'11.964
DNPQ – 17 A. Montermini       Pacific        2'13.064
DNPQ – 42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       2'13.141
DNPQ – 34 K. Chandhok         Spyker         2'13.270
DNPQ – 26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           2'13.436
DNPQ – 18 J-D. Délétraz       Pacific        2'14.337
DNPQ – 29 P. Belmondo         Simtek         2'14.860

Code: Select all

DNPQ – 22 N. Fontana          Hispania       2'14.896
DNPQ – 21 S. Yamamoto         Hispania       2'16.128
DNPQ – 33 G. Foitek           Spyker         2'16.128
DNPQ – 40 J. Camathias        FIRST          2'18.080
DNPQ – 32 M. Pavlovic         Stefan         2'18.208
DNPQ – 37 C. Nissany          Shekel         2'21.028
DNPQ – 38 A. Shankar          Shekel         2'23.509

The weather was very much not kind to the first pre-qualifying session after the reshuffle. And, so far, Emmanuel Collard had never made it past this first hurdle – but if you're going to do that, then do it in style, and he stormed through the relentless rain to record the fastest time of the session – miles off a dry pole, but fastest nonetheless, and that'll be a boost for SPAM, who should have it a lot easier getting at least one car through this session from now on. Newboy Jérôme d'Ambrosio made mincemeat of his predecessor's reputation, just about matching Collard corner for corner, and ending up only half a tenth behind, while Perry McCarthy quietly put in a lap that he hoped would see him all the way into the race. Like Stefan, ATS Rial have also dropped into pre-qualifying, but this barely troubled Michael Ammermüller, who was fourth, followed by the two Arrows – always there or there abouts, but will they be able to get a score on the board come Saturday? The final two places were taken by Kasper Andersen, and... can you believe it... Eliseo Salazar, who's finally dragged the FIRST out of pre-qualifying! He'll be even more desperate than the Black Stig to get the car into the race properly in the upcoming qualifying session.

As ever, there were those who had to fall, and only Joachim Winkelhock was in with a should of doing so – he didn't, and Andrea Montermini's recent upturn in form dropped abruptly – he's ended up a second behind Smokin' Jo. Third of the failures was Sebastian Hohenthal, and that's three in a row for him – he's scored the points for Polestar, but is his Danish team-mate getting the upper hand now after a very slow start? Karun Chandhok still couldn't drag his Spyker back into a qualifying position, Christophe Bouchut must be wondering where that early-season burst of form has gone, JDD was back to his old tricks again, and Paul Belmondo's first taste of pre-qualifying saw him left for dead – so who knows what Domenico Schiattarella would have done in this session. Behind them, we see what are turning out to be the usual suspects – the two Hispanias, Gregor Foitek in the other Spyker, Joël Camathias, Milos Pavlovic, and the Shekels – dead last and so far adrift as to cause wonderment that they're allowed to compete in this league.

The rain would not relent by much the next day...

QUALIFYING

Code: Select all

1 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    2'05.674
2 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        2'06.249
3 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         2'06.412
4 –    10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           2'06.857
5 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           2'07.358
6 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    2'07.389
7 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   2'07.678
8 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           2'08.082
9 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           2'08'096
10 –   1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         2'08.494
11 –   24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        2'08.775
12 –   30 J. d'Ambrosio       Simtek         2'08.782
13 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          2'09.561

Code: Select all

14 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         2'09.597
15 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       2'09.633
16 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   2'09.889
17 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         2'10.085
18 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            2'10.209
19 –   25 E. Collard          SPAM           2'10.334
20 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          2'10.411
21 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        2'10.462
22 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        2'10.646
23 –   39 E. Salazar          FIRST          2'11.100
24 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            2'12.009
25 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           2'12.823
26 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         2'13.353

Code: Select all

DNQ –  20 M. Ammermüller      ATS Rial       2'13.594
DNQ –  6  A. Yoong            Dome           2'16.576

Qualifying brought no end to the downpour, so that great equaliser of performance was there to stay. Nobody told Yuji Ide, though, the fearless Super Aguri driver attacking every corner of the circuit with the fervour that would have seen him crash out 99% of the time, but he held it together to post a pole time six tenths quicker than his nearest competitor. That was Jan Magnussen, freed from the shackles of pre-qualifying and any further unwanted embarrassments, but he was rather surprised to find that the Viking directly behind him was not his old team-mate, but his replacement. Tommy Rustad has been getting a lot better recently, though he hasn't had the luck to go with it, and will be hoping the rain doesn't throw him any curve balls for the race. Eric van de Poele has had a tough introduction to F1RMGP as well, bar that pole which he turned into a podium finish – F1RM's only podium so far this year, and he'll want more. Chris Dagnall lines up just behind him, desperate for an excellent result in the rain, with Silverstone winner Shinji Nakano in sixth. Hideki Noda's power advantage was erased in the conditions but he still made seventh, ahead of the two SAACs and a somewhat subdued Þorvaldur Einarsson, who admitted he hadn't been concentrating properly on the job in hand. Three tenths behind, the other slice of bread making up the Lancia sandwich, was Colin McRae, making up for his DNPQ at Silverstone which there'll be no chance of now for the forseeable future – that's something Jérôme d'Ambrosio does have to deal with, but he did so with aplomb and put in a shining performance at his home circuit on his F1RMGP debut to line up the lumbering Simtek 12th. Adrian Sutil and Vincenzo Sospiri were charged with keeping him company, followed by Kasper Andersen, putting in a mid-table performance in the underpowered Polestar – from here, if the conditions are right, he might finally score a point and get back on level terms with his Swedish team-mate for that coveted Viking drive.

Further down, and the last driver to break the 2'10 barrier was Fabrizio Barbazza – we must wonder if, after last year's Grand Reversal win and an early-season burst or form, he's developing a terrible case of Fisichellitis. Consider that Perry McCarthy was right behind him, two tenths away... you see what I mean, because that Stefan is nothing to shout about. Olivier Beretta was the lead AGS in 18th – how they've fallen again since Paul Ricard – with Emmanuel Collard finally getting himself on the grid this year, even if he only made 19th. Pedro Chaves and Enrico Bertaggia, 20th and 21st, aren't used to being this low down – certainly not this year, anyway, and neither is Marko Asmer – 22nd, in a car with a Koenigsegg engine? Even Plamen Kralev could've done that. Watch your back, there, Marko... just to hammer it home, the driver immediately behind him was Eliseo Salazar. Yes, the ancient Chilean in the awful FIRST not only managed to drag it onto the grid, he beat three other cars to it when all the commentators said he'd DNQ or at the very best scrape onto the grin in 26th. But, French Grand Prix winner Philippe Alliot, serial podium-sitter Marco Apicella and Joe Saward's chosen one, Tonio Liuzzi, all sat behind him. So, spare a thought for Michael Ammermüller, who had to miss out after getting through his first pre-qualifying, but spare very little for Alex Yoong, who was three seconds off Ammermüller and won't have to do much more of this to be the third driver to get the axe this year.

RACE

Code: Select all

1 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           44   1h 40'02.129
2 –    2  T. Rustad           Viking         44   1h 40'04.151
3 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           44   1h 40'30.303
4 –    24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        44   1h 40'39.296
5 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           44   1h 41'08.844
6 –    30 J. d'Ambrosio       Simtek         44   1h 41'28.399
7 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    44   1h 41'30.371
8 –    41 K. Andersen         Polestar       44   1h 41'38.316
9 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   44   1h 41'40.802
10 –   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         44   1h 41'49.450
11 –   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        44   1h 42'03.701
12 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   43   + 1 lap                                                     
13 –   25 E. Collard          SPAM           43   + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          43   + 1 lap                                                     
15 –   12 A. Sutil            Forti          43   + 1 lap                                                     
16 –   1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         43   + 1 lap                                                     
17 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            43   + 1 lap                                                     
18 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            43   + 1 lap                                                     
19 –   5  M. Apicella         Dome           42   + 2 laps                                                    
20 –   7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    40   + 4 laps (DNF)                                              
21 –   35 V. Liuzzi           Arrows         38   engine                                                      
22 –   31 P. McCarthy         Stefan         31   loose wheel                                                 
23 –   39 E. Salazar          FIRST          21   transmission                                                
24 –   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           19   transmission                                                
25 –   13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        12   loose wheel                                                 
26 –   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        6    crash

That was an eventful race, and the weather played its part. But, what played even more of a part – conspiracy nuts get your tinfoil hats on – was the "bash the big boys" attitude that prevailed in the opening laps. It shouldn't have happened like this, really, but within the first 11 laps, Jan Magnussen, Yuji Ide and Þorvaldur Einarsson were all on the receiving end of blatant hatchet-jobs that put all three in the gravel trap. Fortunes from here on were mixed; Magnussen had to pit for new tyres, but some inept work from his pit crew saw him dumped out of the race with three wheels on his wagon. Þorvaldur continued, and made it to the end of the race, but found himself blocked at every corner by other drivers determined to prove they could live with the champion by fair means or foul. And Ide... made a kamikaze drive which saw him blast his way up to seventh, possibly because he hasn't won a championship yet.

Once Magnussen had been dealt with, the early lead was taken by Yuji Ide, but his demise left Eric van de Poele up front and pulling away. The PURE engine was working well, so it seemed. And then... crunch, box full of neutrals, shattered cogs and bits of gearbox casing on the track, and his home race was run. As he had at Silverstone, Shinji Nakano took up the mantle of leader, which he held for a large proportion of the race. Chris Dagnall, though, could see glory, and fought with Nakano over the lead, which changed hands three times over the course of one lap. All this time, Tommy Rustad, who had also been given some very heavy-handed treatment at the start that had put him back to eleventh, had beein making his way back through the field, and could see both of them. For some unknown reason, Nakano slowed. Daggers passed, Rustad passed, Nakano dropped to fifth. In the end it was an engine misfire that would see him retire on lap 41,
officially the last classified finisher but not at the chequered flag, and Nakano was gutted to lose out on what would have been a second successive win. But the race at the front wasn't done. Both the top two had suffered criticism this year – F1RM and PURE in particular had taken a pasting, whereas Rustad was seen as making up the numbers at Viking. Both wanted to win so desperately. On lap 41, Rustad lunged at Dagnall at the Bus Stop. He came close... but not close enough, and lost enough time that Daggers pulled away, and the Norwegian could not come close again. The 2013 champion reminded everyone of his class. Craig Cod celebrated wildly, finally seeing this as a vindication for his engine partnership with F1RM. Jamie and Enoch sprayed cans of XXXX all over anyone in the vicinity. F1RM were back, who knows if they're to stay at the top, but write them off at your peril.

Tommy Rustad found solace in his first podium, finally getting the stroke of luck he'd needed, and of course, instant unrejectification that should have been his in Monaco, should have been his in France, but now he had. Luca Badoer had also been on the receiving end of some recent frustration, which third place halped him unwind a bit, even though he'd barely featured in all the action. Fourth... SAAC on the podium, but more points for Lancia, this time in the form of the reconstituted Colin McRae making everyone at Minardi forget about the Tuero nightmare. It was his best result, obviously, and instant unrejectification came with it; it was also Minardi's best result, beating Enrico Bertaggia's sixth in Mexico this year. Gabriele Tarquini took fifth, continuing his record of scoring in every race so far, and sixth – at the first time of asking – Jérôme d'Ambrosio brought his Simtek home to score eight points for Simtek which probably made the ousted Domenico Schiattarella cry into his alphabet soup. It was a great day all round for other who hadn't scored; Yuji Ide came in seventh after a stunning recovery drive, which he'll take even though the Jean-Pierre Jabouille Cup is now lost, and in eighth, Kasper Andersen scored his first points. It's still 5-4 in favour of Sebastian Hohenthal in the intra-Polestar battle, but the Dane looks to be in the ascendency here. And finally, after Hideki Noda trundled in ninth, Vincenzo Sospiri did what his team had been threatening to do for a while – score a point.

So someone had to lose out, and it was Marko Asmer – never really on form all weekend, but still the last driver not to be lapped. Fabrizio Barbazza was bewilderingly slow to finish 12th, Emmanuel Collard brought the SPAM home in his first start, Pedro Chaves finally overtook Adrian Sutil at the death for intra-team superiority but this only happened as Sutil's car developed a throttle problem, and in 16th, Þorvaldur Einarsson couldn't for the life of him hack through the field, so midway the team advised him to pay back the others up front by hindering them as much as the rules would allow... which, of course, didn't apply to Tommy Rustad who was given a gap as wide as a fjord to cruise through. The two AGSs rolled in even further back, and then, stone dead last and the only driver to end up two laps down – Marco Apicella, who never had any mechanical problems, he was just plain slow. And so, this ignominious end to an utterly miserable weekend for Dome earns them Reject Of The Race – there were a few other strong candidates, but throw in Alex Yoong's catastrophic qualifying and this was a team performance of Andrea Moda proportions.

To the retirements. Enrico Bertaggia seems to have been frightened by his new hologrammatic team-mate's fine form, and flinging himself in the gravel trap, utterly unaided by anyone, unlike the front runners, was not the way to cover himself in glory. Jan Magnussen, having survived the gravel trap himself, then succumbed to poor pit work and lost a wheel. Eric van de Poele was sidelined with gearbox problems – as, unfortunately, was Eliseo Salazar, his FIRST grinding to a halt after 21 laps – it must have taken a right pasting just to get through pre-qualifying the way it did. Only two further cars perished – Perry McCarthy also had a loose wheel, Stefan deciding this was the best way to simulate a top team, much to the Englishman's fury, and finally, Tonio Liuzzi was followed down the road at the end of the race by a trail of white smoke, though he was never really at the races on a day when Vinnie was, and was the hero of the team.

Next up, from the Ardennes forest to the sand dunes of the Netherlands: F1RMGP goes to Zandvoort!

DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Carel Godin de Beaufort Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    27 G. Tarquini         SAAC           86
2 –    9  C. Dagnall          F1RM           73
3 –    13 J. Magnussen        Ice One        67
4 –    1  Þ. Einarsson        Viking         60
5 –    8  Y. Ide              Super Aguri    56
6 –    7  S. Nakano           Super Aguri    52
7 –    12 A. Sutil            Forti          47
8 –    28 L. Badoer           SAAC           36
9 –    15 H. Noda             Leyton House   32
10 –   3  P. Alliot           AGS            31
11 –   2  T. Rustad           Viking         25
12 –   16 F. Barbazza         Leyton House   20

Code: Select all

13 =   5  M. Apicella         Dome           19
13 =   10 E. van de Poele     F1RM           19
15 –   11 P. Chaves           Forti          18
16 =   14 M. Asmer            Ice One        12
16 =   24 C. McRae (H)        Minardi        12
18 =   23 E. Bertaggia        Minardi        10
18 =   26 C. Bouchut          SPAM           10
20 –   30 J. d'Ambrosio       Simtek         8
21 –   42 S. Hohenthal        Polestar       5
22 –   41 K. Andersen         Polestar       4
23 –   4  O. Beretta          AGS            3
24 =   19 J. Winkelhock       ATS Rial       1
24 =   36 V. Sospiri          Arrows         1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
for the Willi Kauhsen Cup

Code: Select all

1 –    SAAC           122
2 –    Super Aguri    108
3 –    F1RM           92
4 –    Viking         85
5 –    Ice One        79
6 –    Forti          65
7 –    Leyton House   52
8 –    AGS            34
9 –    Minardi        22
10 –   Dome           19
11 –   SPAM           10
12 –   Polestar       9
13 –   Simtek         8

Code: Select all

14 =   ATS Rial       1
14 =   Arrows         1

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 10:13**

...nowhere near as many comments on here as there are on the WEC thread. How about a bit of wild speculation from one of the motorsport publications?

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 10:30**

I'm wondering if Shekel Racing could do better with some decent drivers. Nissany was 7 seconds behind his teammate in his only training session, and Shankar has no motorsport experiance at all. And a driver who would be 4 seconds faster than Nissany would have topped the pre-qualifying results at Paul Ricard.

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 10:35**

I am shocked that Pedro Chaves going to Forti instead of trying to stay at SAAC backfired horribly and I think he might be the Jean Alesi of F1RMGP...

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 12:30**

dinizintheoven wrote:...nowhere near as many comments on here as there are on the WEC thread. How about a bit of wild speculation from one of the motorsport publications?

Afraid not, the Italian press is too busy covering the David Koczo debacle to give any column inches to F1RMGP at the moment.

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 13:21**

pi314159 wrote:I'm wondering if Shekel Racing could do better with some decent drivers. Nissany was 7 seconds behind his teammate in his only training session, and Shankar has no motorsport experiance at all. And a driver who would be 4 seconds faster than Nissany would have topped the pre-qualifying results at Paul Ricard.

Guy Nègre was always aware of this - hence the choice of Shekel for the new five-pot turbo once the drivers had been confirmed (i.e. before the car even had an engine). The cars will be getting better drivers when the Grand Reversal rolls round - either a Tarquini/Badoer or Ide/Nakano line-up at this stage looks the most likely. Then we'll see what the car is really capable of!

DanielPT wrote:I am shocked that Pedro Chaves going to Forti instead of trying to stay at SAAC backfired horribly and I think he might be the Jean Alesi of F1RMGP...

...so what of Gabriele Tarquini, who hasn't won a race at all in this series? Leading the championship he might be, but there's still that blank in the top column...

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 13:52**

dinizintheoven wrote:
DanielPT wrote:I am shocked that Pedro Chaves going to Forti instead of trying to stay at SAAC backfired horribly and I think he might be the Jean Alesi of F1RMGP...

...so what of Gabriele Tarquini, who hasn't won a race at all in this series? Leading the championship he might be, but there's still that blank in the top column...

He's the ultimate Nick Heidfeld.

Posted: **12 Dec 2012, 14:49**

That's one for F1RM!

J.O.U.R.N.A.L is currently trolling F1RWRS instead, but stay tuned...

Grand Prix Rejects

F1RMGP 2015: The Fifth (season) and the Fury

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