Grand Prix Rejects

Posted: **08 May 2012, 11:34**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Takagi is negotiating with Ferrari for 1996.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 11:40**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Pippa Mann is currently without a drive...

Posted: **08 May 2012, 11:49**

dr-baker wrote:
the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Pippa Mann is currently without a drive...

Interesting. If Pippa Mann can drag crapboxes into places they shouldn't see, we might have a deal

Posted: **08 May 2012, 11:54**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:
dr-baker wrote:
the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Pippa Mann is currently without a drive...

Interesting. If Pippa Mann can drag crapboxes into places they shouldn't see, we might have a deal

Prince Walik wrote:If Pippa is anything like her brother she will probably ragequit if she doesn't win the championship.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 16:44**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:
dr-baker wrote:
the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Pippa Mann is currently without a drive...

Interesting. If Pippa Mann can drag crapboxes into places they shouldn't see, we might have a deal

May I throw Éadbhard "Renaissance" O'Caiomhín into the mix, fresh from his self-imposed academic sabbatical?

Posted: **08 May 2012, 19:22**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Meerwick would be a perfect ROTY candidate in the Benetton! :lol:

Posted: **08 May 2012, 19:23**

The Duel in the Desert

Prologue:
The F1RGP2C heads to Phoenix for the biggest exhibition race of the season. Several extra guest drivers have been added in a last-minute change after the organizers found out a way to cram more cars into qualifying on Saturday. Those drivers are: Prince Walik, Jean-Denis Deletraz and Tristan Jung. The entry list can be found here but the teams drivers are racing for are purely arbitrary; all drivers will be given nearly-identical cars and their mechanics can adjust the setup to their liking. Williams will be on equal footing with Forti. The race itself will consist of 69 laps and with intense battles expected throughout the grid. Since the cars are so reliable, there will be no retirements due to mechanical failure (good news for Douglas Mann) although cars can crash out of the race. Lastly, the winner's purse has been announced. The winner of the race will receive a tidy 5 million dollar bonus to go with the usual prize money.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 21:04**

Ligier has a contractual solution: Megumi will drive all non-european races, Valsattis all european races. (the contract said that Valsattis would be lead driver, not that he would drive all races)
and Mann will drive whenever he feels like, because sacking him will turn out to be more expensive than running him.

Then of course, this is Ligier, an incompetent French team, run by an incompetent Belgian, anything can happen.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 21:10**

The Duel in the Desert
Qualifying

Grid:

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1. John Zimmer (Benetton) - 1.33.000
2. Kazuhiko Takagi (Benetton) - 1.33.085
3. Masta Valsattis (Forti) - 1.33.221
4. Rory McAllister (McLaren) - 1.33.310
5. Leonhard von Gottorp (Jordan) - 1.33.353
6. Dennis Mignolet (Ligier) - 1.33.932
7. Chris Dagnall - 1.33.953
8. Daniel Moreno (Williams) - 1.34.110
9. Samael Meerwick (Footwork) - 1.34.404
10. Sebastian Gazurek (Forti) - 1.34.509
11. Tom Douglas (Ferrari) - 1.34.594
12. Anton Kaliniczenko (Pacific) - 1.34.629

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13. Poppy Whitechapel (Tyrrell) - 1.34.813
14. Giovanni Roda - 1.34.853
15. Padraig O'Connell (Ferrari) - 1.34.982
16. George Tramontani (Simtek) - 1.34.985
17. Damon Cannon (Jordan) - 1.35.156
18. Jorg Scrattenheim (Simtek) - 1.35.296
19. Martin McFry (Delorean) - 1.35.338
20. Niko Nurminen - 1.35.431
21. Pieter Kickert (Sauber) - 1.35.466
22. Pippa Mann (DAMS) - 1.35.906
23. Prince Walik - 1.36.004
24. Tristan Jung - 1.36.131
25. James Davies (McLaren) - 1.36.173
26. Gio van Dycke (Tyrrell) - 1.36.267

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DNQ Clivio Durand - 1.36.289
DNQ Ben Fleet (DAMS) - 1.36.430
DNQ Douglas Mann (Williams) - 1.36.682
DNQ Kazuyoshi Hoshino (Footwork) - 1.36.873
DNQ Reiko Megumi (Ligier) - 1.37.014
DNQ Andrew Spokes (Minardi) - 1.37.340
DNQ Miko Fakkinen (Minardi) - 1.37.593
DNQ Pablo da Silva (Sauber) - 1.37.892
DNQ Jean-Denis Deletraz - 1.38.091
DNQ Artiom Zielenkovski (Pacific) - 1.38.132

And what a qualifying session that was! Two hours of running produced an all-Benetton front row with Zimmer and Takagi separated by only .033 seconds. However, this was completely overshadowed by MASTA VALSATTIS in the FORTI going third, only two tenths behind the Benettons! McAllister, von Gottorp and Mignolet proved performed up to expectations and so did Chris Dagnall; seventh place in your series debut isn't bad! Next up was Daniel Moreno in the Williams followed, :shock:

by Samael Meerwick! Spectacular qualifying effort from the Footwork driver. Next up was :shock:

Sebastian Gazurek in the second Forti! What on earth? He was followed by Douglas, Kaliniczenko, Whitechapel, (still stuck in 13th, even with random settings), and Giovanni Roda. O'Connell was a disappointing 15th, barely pipping George Tramontani's Simtek and Damon Cannon's Jordan.

Scrattenheim qualified 18th for his last race at Simtek; he was followed by Martin McFry's Delorean. McFry will start alongside the venerable Niko Nurminen. Kickert, Pippa Mann, Prince Walik, Tristan Jung, James Davies and Gio van Dycke round out the grid. The first of the non-qualifiers was Clivio Durand who missed out by 0.027 seconds. Ben Fleet joined him on the sidelines. Then it was the big disaster of the weekend, Douglas Mann, failing to qualify by almost four tenths. Complete disaster for D. Mann. Hoshino, Megumi, Spokes (surprisingly), Fakkinen, da Silva and Deletraz all failed to qualify and Artiom Zielenkovski was the last placed driver in qualifying. The grid was very tight on Saturday so we'll see what happens tomorrow.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 21:31**

Rory McAllister wrote:Equal cars, I like this! The prospect of fighting for the podium with a Forti driver is truly exciting!

Posted: **08 May 2012, 21:55**

Niko Nurminen wrote:20th is certainly not the best possible place to start from, but I was only a second away from the top 10. If I get a good start, chances are that I'll also get a good result.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 22:11**

Prince Walik wrote:Everyone in equal euipment and I am ahead on Douglas Mann.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 22:11**

Poppy Whitechapel wrote:Take a bathplug guess where I qualified.

Damon Cannon wrote:Mer, I just couldn't hook the car up for a good lap. Let's hope that tomorrow will bring a more competitive showing.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 22:36**

James Davies wrote:Yeah, figured I might as well give everyone else a fighting chance and qualify dead last. No biggie, not like any points are at stake.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 23:13**

James Davies wrote:Yeah, figured I might as well give everyone else a fighting chance and qualify dead last. No biggie, not like any points are at stake.

Rory McAllister wrote:Ease it off, man, you know you're mortal.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 23:29**

Masta Valsattis:
3rd in a Forti whilst Megumi DNQ's. And the team wish for me to share the seat with her next year *rolls eyes*. Still, whatever Ligier wishes to happen will happen, although I'm far from happy. 1996 will be my breakthrough year so having to share the drive is disappointing but I'm happy to be given a decent chance anyway.

Posted: **08 May 2012, 23:54**

the Masked Lapwing wrote:
dr-baker wrote:
the Masked Lapwing wrote:Takagi will not have his Benetton contract renewed for next season. Benetton are now assessing drivers for the second seat. Anyone want to volunteer?

Pippa Mann is currently without a drive...

Interesting. If Pippa Mann can drag crapboxes into places they shouldn't see, we might have a deal

Simtek into a point a year or so ago? I think she can do it! (Plus in her time-travelling past, she got a Lola into 2nd place in 1997...)

Prince Walik wrote:Everyone in equal euipment and I am ahead on Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Yeah, do you think I was even trying? I was only in this Williams due to contractual obligations. I did not choose to do it, BUT I could choose to DNQ it. So I did. Take that! And I see you were out-qualified by by sister in a DAMS. Interesting. And by Martin McFry in a DeLorean. It must be about 20 years old, mustn't it?

Posted: **09 May 2012, 06:01**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 08:08**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 08:13**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.

Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 08:19**

Okay, this is getting interesting, so it seems like Meerwick was hampered by poor machinery, or it's just a one-time miracle, which I believe it is?
Also, DAMS is doing pretty good.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 10:11**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.

Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Posted: **09 May 2012, 10:24**

dr-baker wrote:
Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.
Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.
Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Prince Walik wrote:20 years eh, you do know that we are in 1995 you stupid crybaby.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 10:29**

eurobrun wrote:
dr-baker wrote:
Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.
Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.
Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Prince Walik wrote:20 years eh, you do know that we are in 1995 you stupid crybaby.

Don Rennis wrote:You guys are all a bunch of Jabronies. What you guys should all do, and I quote, is know your damn role, and shut your damn mouth as you watch Daggers Dagnall absolutely thrash the lot of you

Posted: **09 May 2012, 10:36**

dr-baker wrote:
Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.
Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.
Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Prince Walik wrote:20 years eh, you do know that we are in 1995 you stupid crybaby.

Douglas Mann wrote:You just don't understand time travel, do you? 14 years of standard passing of time, plus 6 years of time travel, equals a 20 year old DeLorean. Geez...

Posted: **09 May 2012, 10:59**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.

Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Prince Walik wrote:20 years eh, you do know that we are in 1995 you stupid crybaby.

Douglas Mann wrote:You just don't understand time travel, do you? 14 years of standard passing of time, plus 6 years of time travel, equals a 20 year old DeLorean. Geez...

Prince Walik wrote:I suppose you still believe in santa claus as well Douglas.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 13:09**

Prince Walik wrote:I would like to see anyone else in their 2nd ever race beat me.

Niko Nurminen wrote:I've already beaten you in my first qualifying session ever. Your argument is invalid.

Prince Walik wrote:And all I can say to that is bullsh*t. Anyway, you are still 259 times more talented than that pathetic lowlife Douglas Mann.

Douglas Mann wrote:Martin McFry, in a 20+ year old DeLorean, in his FIRST ever race, has beaten you. Go figure...

Prince Walik wrote:20 years eh, you do know that we are in 1995 you stupid crybaby.

Douglas Mann wrote:You just don't understand time travel, do you? 14 years of standard passing of time, plus 6 years of time travel, equals a 20 year old DeLorean. Geez...

Prince Walik wrote:I suppose you still believe in santa claus as well Douglas.

Douglas Mann wrote:Yes, of course, but by a different name. Struggling to tell the difference between fact and pure fiction are we? By the way, I do NOT believe in tooth fairies...

Posted: **09 May 2012, 15:41**

Tristan, can you post drivers with AWOL owners?

Posted: **09 May 2012, 19:06**

AdrianSutil wrote:
Masta Valsattis:
3rd in a Forti whilst Megumi DNQ's. And the team wish for me to share the seat with her next year *rolls eyes*. Still, whatever Ligier wishes to happen will happen, although I'm far from happy. 1996 will be my breakthrough year so having to share the drive is disappointing but I'm happy to be given a decent chance anyway.

Dennis Mignolet wrote:What can we do? Race without engines? We got a long-term plan with you, you will have to trust me!

°camera zooms in on Ron Mignolet, in a Ligier outfit°

Posted: **09 May 2012, 19:25**

And after 12 laps, Chris "Daggers" Dagnall leads John Zimmer by 9 seconds! However, Dagnall is currently stuck behind Giovanni Roda and can't seem to lap him. Kaliniczenko and Giovanni Roda collided on Lap 6 and both well out of contention. Top 10:

(GP1 doesn't have a good live timing app. These are approximated.)

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(+6) 1. Chris Dagnall 
(-1) 2. John Zimmer +9.0 (
(+2) 3. Leonhard von Gottorp +15
(NC) 4. Rory McAllister +16
(+4) 5. Samael Meerwick +17
(NC) 6. Dennis Mignolet +17.3
(+8) 7. Padraig O'Connell +17.8
(+2) 8. Sebastian Gazurek +18.6
(+8) 9. Damon Cannon +22.1
(+1) 10. Tom Douglas +23

Clearly the big winners so far are Dagnall, O'Connell and Cannon. (-20) Valsattis, (-11) Takagi and (-9) Moreno are the biggest losers.

Posted: **09 May 2012, 20:32**

WTF happened to Valsattis?!

Posted: **09 May 2012, 21:50**

AdrianSutil wrote:WTF happened to Valsattis?!

I think he got totally balked at the start and got passed by everyone at the first few turns before losing even more position on the track. Sort of like what Riccardo did at Bahrain a few weeks ago.

Posted: **10 May 2012, 00:38**

25 laps in and the action has intensified! Chris Dagnall was horribly blocked by Roda, letting Zimmer catch up to him. John Zimmer took the lead on Lap 23 but he spun off half a lap later! Because of GP1's idiocy, Zimmer ran straight into Samael Meerwick, breaking both drivers' suspensions. Then Meerwick turned around and ran straight into James Davies, breaking Davies' wing and Sebastian Gazurek's wing (he had nowhere to go). Now both of Meerwick's suspensions were broken but he still managed to drive the car around and go back to the pits. Disaster for Zimmer. Meanwhile, Dagnall had fallen back into the hands of von Gottorp who overtook Dagnall for second at the beginning of Lap 24 and ended up in the lead. However, he was closely followed by Rory McAllister and Padraig O'Connell as all four drivers began to scrap for the lead! Great stuff.

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(+4) 1. Leonhard von Gottorp 
(+2) 2. Rory McAllister +0.4
(+4) 3. Chris Dagnall +0.5
(+11) 4. Padraig O'Connell +0.7
(+1) 5. Dennis Mignolet +5.7 (app.)
(+14) 6. Niko Nurminen 
(+10) 7. Damon Cannon
(+18) 8. Gio van Dycke
(+2) 9. Tom Douglas 
(+14) 10. Tristan Jung
(-2) 11. Samael Meerwick
(+9) 12. Pieter Kickert
(-12) 13. John Zimmer
(+11) 14. James Davies
(-5) 15. Sebastian Gazurek

van Dycke, Jung and Douglas are all currently battling for position. Obviously, the biggest mover has to be van Dycke who has come up from last on the grid! James Davies must be absolutely furious after coming up from the back row only to get punted off by Meerwick's idiotic maneuver. On the other hand, John Zimmer has no one to blame but himself. O'Connell, Nurminen, Cannon, Jung and Kickert have definitely benefited from attrition but they have all done a stellar job. So far. We're still not even halfway through the race and more action has occurred than in half the '95 season!

Posted: **10 May 2012, 00:45**

James Davies wrote:MEERWICK YOU ABSOLUTE BATHPLUGGING MORON! YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T CATCH YOU!

Posted: **10 May 2012, 08:22**

tristan1117 wrote:(+14) 6. Niko Nurminen

Posted: **10 May 2012, 08:29**

Suspension problems... seriously Meerwick's trademark for 1995

Posted: **10 May 2012, 11:48**

Douglas Mann wrote:And Prince Wally, sorry Walik, is nowhere to be seen near the top-15 as yet.

Posted: **10 May 2012, 23:30**

39 laps completed and we still have a great race on our hands. Several drivers have pitted for fresh tyres, leaving Rory McAllister with a five second lead over Leonhard von Gottorp and Niko Nurminen. McAllister went by von Gottorp on Lap 37 and has already put a substantial gap between the two but Nurminen is doing faster lap times and should breeze past von Gottorp soon. However, the race will definitely depend on how all three drivers manage their tyres as Chris Dagnall, Padraig O'Connell and Dennis Mignolet ran their tyres into the ground and were all forced to pit. They have now dropped back off the lead. Tristan Jung has managed his tyres carefully and come from nowhere to fifth place. Polesitter John Zimmer has been bogged down in midfield traffic and is currently running in a lowly 14th place.

(finally got accurate timing)

Code: Select all

(+3) 1. Rory McAllister 
(+3) 2. Leonhard von Gottorp +5.626
(+17) 3. Niko Nurminen +6.822
(+11) 4. Padraig O'Connell +21.296
(+19) 5. Tristan Jung +30.453
(+19) 6. James Davies +32.122
(NC) 7. Chris Dagnall +38.419
(+9) 8. Damon Cannon +48.185 
(-4) 9. Dennis Mignolet +48.577
(-1) 10. Samael Meerwick +48.914

Absolutely brilliant drive from Davies so far; he came from 25th on the grid to seventh before he was knocked off by Meerwick (breaking both suspensions, mind you). He dropped back again and found his way back through the field to sixth! He is now 16 seconds clear of Meerwick so he probably won't have to worry that much. Damon Cannon did not stop but he did have a big spin at Turn 1 which is why he is 48 seconds off the lead.

Posted: **11 May 2012, 02:16**

James Davies wrote:It's just gone half-way? Hmmm, wonder if I can snatch 4th... podiums probably out of reach now - thanks a lot, Meerwick. You douche.

Posted: **11 May 2012, 02:22**

James Davies wrote:It's just gone half-way? Hmmm, wonder if I can snatch 4th... podiums probably out of reach now - thanks a lot, Meerwick. You douche.

Don Rennis on the radio to Davies wrote:Keep pushing James, 12 seconds to Padrig.

Don Rennis on the radio to McAllister wrote:Great job Rory, keep going. Fuel Position three. Fuel Position three

Yes, I is bored

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