Grand Prix Rejects

You know the deal. You get two picks, first receives 10pts for biggest screw-up of the day, and 6pts to the second biggest screw-up.

Polling closes Tue 19th @ 1800 BST!


Biscione's picks;
1. Jolyon Palmer
2. Chinese marshals

10. Palmer. Dead last.

6. Nico Hulkenberg - Penalty for holding someone up.

1. Renault - they claimed they would score points if they didn't get any sort of problems. They didn't get any problems, and finished absolutelly nowhere.
2. Jolyon Palmer - Absolutelly uninspiring.

1. Reno - Magnussen claimed they'd be scoring points this weekend. The team claimed their race pace would be strong. That car is just a complete toilet.

2. Sebastian Vettel - Daniil no-selling Seb's whinging post-race was fantastic. Kvyat vs Vettel in a no-holds-barred match at the next WWE PPV, book it Hunter.

Honourable mentions to Lewis Hamilton's fanboys, because you just know we'll get stuff like "MERCEDES IS FAVOURING THE NAZI CHEATSBURG OVER OUR LEWIS" for the next few weeks. The joys of social media.

1. Lewis Hamilton - Yeah, he started in last. Yeah, he had wing problems right of the start. But on lap 20 he was, albeit a little out of sync, racing in third position. What the HELL has he been doing in the second half of the race? Appalling. Not getting past Massa was the icing on the cake.

2. Renault - Lol.

Also Haas wasn't having the greatest of weekends seeing their pace in Bahrain, but well that can happen, they're new to this, etc.

1. Debris on the track
2. Reno

1. Sebastian Vettel & Kai Ebel for the postrace cringe
2. Renault for being depressing

ed: Can't not give the Marshals a HM

1. Chinese marshals: Provided the most entertainment on Saturday. Laughably bad!
2. Renault: Absolutely nowhere all weekend.

1. Hamilton's luck. Is he really the last two years champion? What a turnaround really.
2. Renault. Urmmm

HM: Mercedes' clutch or start. So bad that it's actually gives us good race.

1. Chinese GP Marshals - Not much work to do for them during the race, and it was better this way. Their Saturday performance was incredibly amateurish. It took them a long time to move Wehrlein's car away, followed by a comedic attempt to dry the puddles on the start/finish straight. Subsequently, they parked their car in a runoff area (WTF?), and in the middle of qualifying they decided to put a tyre stack into the hairpin when it was only intended for the Porsche Cup.

2. Renault. Just no pace at all this weekend.

1. Renault - Good lord they suck
2. Sebastian Vettel

HM - Reliability

10: Jolyon Palmer gets a little bit in the way there, that's Palmer and he's getting even more in the way there! Now, he really should be moving on, moving out of the way, he's desperately slow, he's there because of his... er... wait a minute...

...Pastor...

Pastor! Come back, all is forgiven, and I'm sure there are a few other companies in Venezuela that have a few pesos left to spare... right?

6: Me for losing my analysis sheet before the race - I print out one of these for every race and fill in the gaps while it's going on, I've done this since the start of the 1997 season, and I can't for the life of me work out where I've put them all... I've printed out every for up to Italy for this year so far, but stopped because the printer went completely mental and hasn't worked at all since then. So I had to go with the hind of ugly-hand-drawn version I'd made do with when I was much younger. It's not satisfying, and I've lost the clipboard that goes with it as well. I'll be glad when this house renovation is over and everything can be put back in the right place (including me as I'm temporarily displaced to the spare room). Bah!

East Londoner wrote:Honourable mentions to Lewis Hamilton's fanboys, because you just know we'll get stuff like "MERCEDES IS FAVOURING THE NAZI CHEATSBURG OVER OUR LEWIS" for the next few weeks. The joys of social media.

More people seem to be complaining about the potential complaints from Hamilton's fans or are goading those fans into reacting in that way right now, which frankly is just as bad.

1. Hulkenberg - I appreciate that this might be a bit controversial, but he was somewhat lucky that he didn't get a harsher penalty for deliberately backing up drivers in the pit lane given that the resultant queue of traffic nearly caused several accidents (Button nearly crashed into the back of him about halfway down the pit lane).

He was trying to avoid getting to his pit box too quickly given Perez was still being serviced, but the way he backed the traffic up may have caused an unsafe release for Perez, effectively getting the team penalised twice. Even allowing for the time penalty, his pace wasn't that great either.

2. Palmer - his pace was terrible (he didn't even get that close to Haryanto) and, judging by some of the complaints over the radio, he was a bit clueless when being lapped by other cars as well. It's true that Renault were pretty terrible here, but even so his performance was clumsy.

1) McLaren - Showed a lot of promise, still no points for their regular drivers.

2) Super-reliabilty - Not a single retirement, even in the opening laps.

Honorable Mention to Haas - This was what I was expecting from them in the first place, hopefully this was a one-off weekend.
I could nominate the on-track debris but it helped make the race as interesting as it was.

1. Renault in general and Jolyon Palmer in particular. Beaten by Haryanto on merit. I was unaware Renault was racing at all until Kvyat had trouble lapping him.

2. Sebastian Vettel for disgraceful and girly whining and trying to pass the guilt to someone else.

1) Jolyon Palmer: Magnussen had no dry running until qualifying, but kept his head down and worked hard all afternoon. Palmer was absolutely nowhere, except in the way.

2) Marshals: Echoing what pi said, really.

I would like to nominate myself for missing the start.... that's all

1. Marshals
2. Renault

1. Palmer - getting beaten on merit by HARYANTO of all people.

2. Vettel. Enough whinging about Kvyat already.

1) Renault - worst performance since the Benetton years in 2001

2) Sebastian Vettel - Caused an accident then had the effrontery to blame Kvyat

1. Jolyon Palmer = dead last + beat by Haryanto

2. Debris and more debris

1)Renault: No pace, no talent... nothing

2)Marshalls: Comedy all weekend

1. Renault - I know they'll need time to rebuild themselves, but seeing where they are compared to the Red Bulls throws a lot of shades on the work Enstone's doing. Plus, ROTR for giving a seat to Jolyon Palmer.

2. Haas - Gene's spent the last two weeks bragging around about how cool and strong his team was. Well, this race should be an awakening for them.

HM to tyres and front wings falling off the whole weekend - I don't remember this happening so frequently last year.

EDIT - another HM to Force India: remember when they wanted to fight for third place in the constructors' championship? Neither do I.

10) Renault - Obvious reasons are obvious. They might as well be driving an edam.

6) Jenson Button's strategist - Seriously, was he EVER on the right tyre, or for the right amount of time?

1: Vettel: That First Turn stuffed up Kimi's race, and the whining didn't help >_>
2:Hamilton: Considering that Räikkönen finished 2 spots higher than he did despite the two of them being nose to tail after the Safety Car, and Mercedes being the superior car... Uninsipired is barely a strong enough word. Not being able to pass Massa was just pathetic

1- Renault- totally useless. Pointless season beckoning?
2- Vettel- Oh get over it man. It wasn't that bad. As I recall you did worse (turkey 2010).

1 - Raikkonen: Because it was his fault the first corner crash. He misjudged the speed of Rosberg and Ricciardo in the corner and had to brake to avoid a contact, which resulted in Vettel braking too, creating all the mess with Kvyat jumping inside of Vettel and the German crashing into Kimi.

2 - Palmer: Last, nothing more to say. Renault made a mistake in firing Pastor Maldonado.


HM to Hamilton and the "Felipe is faster than you" and Grosjean (Haas is right, F1 is full of whiner, starting with his drivers, Grosjean ).

1st: Renault - Previous races showed me that they could get a sniff of the points. This race, no freaking way were they even close. Palmer came stone dead last, behind Haryanto in a damn Manor no less. Magnussen looked much better, but appeared to be just as useless on track due to that apparent trash heap dubbed the RE16.

2nd (shared): McLaren-Honda's Strategists and Nico Hulkenberg - There were a number of moments while watching where I wanted to scream "PIT BUTTON/ALONSO YOU BATHPLUGS" but couldn't without waking up the neighbors since it was 2AM in the States. By the time McLaren finally pitted their cars, they lost too much time. Minor points could have been on the table, but McLaren found it more in their interests to be like Williams for a day and choose a rather asinine strategy. At least the Honda PU didn't blow up this time. As for Nico, where the hell was he the entire race? Also, that penalty was pretty humorous.

Honorable Mentions:

Kai Ebel - Jesus H. Christ... the moment he spoke Chinese pretty much summed the podium interviews up.

Haas - What a fall from grace after Grosjean's 5th and 6th in the last two races. I can't give them a full finger wag because Grosjean's race was completely screwed after T1 and T2. Gutierrez looked as unknown as ever, which I honestly expected. At least it's better than driving like a reckless moron.

I will give ROTR to my Laptop for not working meaning that the first time since Australia 2002 i havent seen Grand Prix.

Dj_bereta wrote:1 - Raikkonen: Because it was his fault the first corner crash. He misjudged the speed of Rosberg and Ricciardo in the corner and had to brake to avoid a contact, which resulted in Vettel braking too, creating all the mess with Kvyat jumping inside of Vettel and the German crashing into Kimi.

2 - Palmer: Last, nothing more to say. Renault made a mistake in firing Pastor Maldonado.


HM to Hamilton and the "Felipe is faster than you" and Grosjean (Haas is right, F1 is full of whiner, starting with his drivers, Grosjean ).

Raikonen caused that? Are you being serious!

10pts: Palmer. That was awful.

6pts Vettel. Hitting Kimi at turn 1 and causing a chain reaction in which 4 front wings were damaged. Then complained about Kvyat the entire race,

1. Vettel, for the whining.
2. I'll go with Palmer even though he was hardly shown.

1. Palmer - dead last and defeated by INDONESIA'S RIO HARYANTO (couldn't resist )
2. Haas - that was a slump.

Dishonorable mentions to my school and Haryanto DOTD brigade.

10 Jolyon Palmer: Finished behind Haryanto and in last place with no apparent problem, What more can I say?

6 Sebastian Vettel: For his best Montoya San Marino 2004 impression

FMecha wrote:
Dishonorable mentions to my school and Haryanto DOTD brigade.

...yet you vote for Haryanto in the IIDOTR thread?

Ataxia wrote:

FMecha wrote:
Dishonorable mentions to my school and Haryanto DOTD brigade.

...yet you vote for Haryanto in the IIDOTR thread?

Damn straight. Wehrlein was in freaking unrejectification territory.

Which only lasted like, three minutes after the safety car.

1. Lewis; Just because it probably is he's only shot at ROTR this season :p

2. Renault; They sucked. Period.

Honorable mention: Chinese Marshalls, providing us with comedy on Saturday

andrew wrote:

Dj_bereta wrote:1 - Raikkonen: Because it was his fault the first corner crash. He misjudged the speed of Rosberg and Ricciardo in the corner and had to brake to avoid a contact, which resulted in Vettel braking too, creating all the mess with Kvyat jumping inside of Vettel and the German crashing into Kimi.

2 - Palmer: Last, nothing more to say. Renault made a mistake in firing Pastor Maldonado.


HM to Hamilton and the "Felipe is faster than you" and Grosjean (Haas is right, F1 is full of whiner, starting with his drivers, Grosjean ).

Raikonen caused that? Are you being serious!

Yes. He was too fast in the first corner and his lockup to avoid crashing into Rosberg and Ricciardo triggered everything. He indirectly caused all the mess.

I forget to say Raikkonen returned to the track in front of Nasr which resulted in a contact between the Brazilian and Hamilton.

No one really stood out for me, so I'm going to give 10 points to the one thing that meant we didn't get a decent race for the lead:

1. Ricciardo's puncture

1. Renault - awful pace

2. Hamilton. Car damaged or not, the fact he floored it at the start with his front wing under the car, causing him to go off and cause further damage is not smart. Letting Rosberg slip out of his sights at this rate.

1. Sebastian Vettel - Seb showed today with Kvyat he is still the same spoiled brat from Malaysia 2013

2. Chinese Marshalls - The incompetence in qualifying (indirectly) made my boss shout at me

Honourable Mentions:
Jolyon Palmer - Beaten on merit by Rio Haryanto (and literally everyone else)
Ricciardo's Puncture - Fate appears to have him confused with Mark Webber