Rejects Monopoly

[dr-baker]

While it remains the off-season (albeit with team launches already taking place and pre-season testing fast approaching), I was wondering what a Rejects Monopoly set would look like. After all, there are so many variations of the game now, surely there would be space for an F1-themed one too?

So there were some things that I thought would be obvious. The 'GO' square would obviously be the Start/Finish line. The stations would be unpopular tracks or those which had only ever held one race. The utilities would be represented by the sport's behind-the-scenes organisations: GPDA/FOTA/FOCA/FIA. The coloured properties would represent reject teams and drivers. It was deciding which go where that was interesting to consider. And what would jail and free parking be representing in this scenario? And I haven't even thought about rewriting the Chance/Community Chest cards yet. (I would probably leave the names of those alone - after all, chance always plays a part, and Bernie used to have a community chest in years gone by for struggling teams, in the 1990s. Sometimes.)

With the property groups below, I tried to match the teams and drivers with the colour group that that team predominantly raced in where possible. So Simtek were dark blue/purple, Caterham were green, Forti were yellow, etc. I was considering that the team would occupy the more expensive square in each colour group, while the drivers would be reject drivers that were closely linked to each team. As there are few pink-themed team in F1 (barring the 1992 MRD Brabham), I went for the obvious alternative. I could have ranked the teams and drivers in terms of rejectfulness, in which case the most rejectful would be Andrea Moda and Al Pease, and someone could continue with that idea if they like, but below is what made sense to me (and please suggest answers to the gaps below).

So this is what I have so far:

Stations: Le Mans Bugatti, AVUS, Pescara, Morocco (Also considered: India, South Korea)
Utilities: GPDA, FIA
Jail: pit lane (for time penalties and/or car repairs)
Free Parking: either the gravel trap or Paddock Hospitality, depending on interpretation
GO: start line

Brown:
Light blue: Pacific, Paul Belmondo, Jean-Denis Deletraz/Giovanni Lavaggi/Andrea Montermini
Pink: Desire Wilson, Giovanna Amati, Davina Galica
Orange: MasterCard Lola, Vincenzo Sospiri, Riccardo Rosset OR Spyker, Markus Winkelhock, Sakon Yamamoto
Red: Life, Gary Brabham, Bruno Giacomelli (OK, maybe not a reject but...)
Yellow: Forti, Luca Bodoer, Andrea Montermini (possibly Roberto Moreno as an honorary reject?)
Green: Caterham, Charles Pic/Guido van der Garde/Marcus Ericcson
Dark blue: Simtek, David Brabham or Roland Razenberger

Any comments?

[Nessafox]

The Go to Jail spot should obviously be reserved for Gachot (even though he's not a reject)

[UncreativeUsername37]

People didn't hate Pescara and Morocco. I'd do Zeltweg and either Nivelles-Baulers or Caesars Palace. Or Fair Park, if you want to stick to one race.

[dr-baker]

The Go to Jail spot should obviously be reserved for Gachot (even though he's not a reject)

And Andrea Sassetti?

People didn't hate Pescara and Morocco. I'd do Zeltweg and either Nivelles-Baulers or Caesars Palace. Or Fair Park, if you want to stick to one race.

Caesar's Palace would be a good choice. It would fit in well alongside the Buddhoir, Le Mans Bugatti and South Korea.

[Barbazza]

Surely Dallas has to get a look in for Stations?

As for Brown, the most brown cars I can think of would be the Team Gunston Lotus entries, which would give you Ian Scheckter and any number of other South African drivers (but not John Love presumably, since he once finished 2nd, albeit in a Cooper rather than a Lotus)

[dr-baker]

Surely Dallas has to get a look in for Stations?

As for Brown, the most brown cars I can think of would be the Team Gunston Lotus entries, which would give you Ian Scheckter and any number of other South African drivers (but not John Love presumably, since he once finished 2nd, albeit in a Cooper rather than a Lotus)

I'm split on customer teams, because they would be reject teams, but not reject chassis. But it would be as close to a brown-liveried team as ever, and it would be good not to have this too Eurocentric.

[TheFlyingCaterham]

I was thinking that maybe the free parking spot should be DNPQ or something like that. And for orange I reckon Mastercard Lola would be better off there, mainly because IMO they're more rejectful than Spyker.

[Bobby Doorknobs]

Surely Dallas has to get a look in for Stations?

As for Brown, the most brown cars I can think of would be the Team Gunston Lotus entries, which would give you Ian Scheckter and any number of other South African drivers (but not John Love presumably, since he once finished 2nd, albeit in a Cooper rather than a Lotus)

I'm split on customer teams, because they would be reject teams, but not reject chassis. But it would be as close to a brown-liveried team as ever, and it would be good not to have this too Eurocentric.

The Caterham CT03 livery looks brown to people with red/green colour blindness.

I somehow remember this from a comment made on F1 Fanatic four years ago...

EDIT: Or you could just go for Rebaque:

You may have to squint, but I assure you that is brown.

[dr-baker]

I was thinking that maybe the free parking spot should be DNPQ or something like that. And for orange I reckon Mastercard Lola would be better off there, mainly because IMO they're more rejectful than Spyker.

Oh, I definitely agree that MasterCard Lola are much more worthy than Spyker - after all, look at who did all that research into the team and did a gigantic-sized post/thread about them!

And I had not considered DNPQ as an option - I like that idea very much!

EDIT: Or you could just go for Rebaque:

You may have to squint, but I assure you that is brown.

I like that suggestion. It helps that they only had the one driver that at the time was a reject driver. Sadly, he unrejectified himself in his final season in 1981, but we could overlook that, couldn't we?

[Rob Dylan]

- You told Charlie Whiting to &@%k off: go back 2 places
- You glassed a Renault employee in a Turkish bar. Go back to Lewis Hamilton's position, do not pass go, do not collect £200.
- You ignored the advice of your team and decided not to come in to the pits to refuel. Miss a turn.


The game basically writes itself

[dr-baker]

- You told Charlie Whiting to &@%k off: go back 2 places
- You glassed a Renault employee in a Turkish bar. Go back to Lewis Hamilton's position, do not pass go, do not collect £200.
- You ignored the advice of your team and decided not to come in to the pits to refuel. Miss a turn.


The game basically writes itself

Yeah, we do need to look at the Chance and Community Chest cards!

-You have won 2nd prize at a Tilkedrome Grand Prix. Collect £10.
-You have been shown the black flag. Go straight to the pits. Do not pass the Start/Finish line. Do not collect £200.
-You are Jean-Denis Deletraz. You are only here because of your money. Collect another £100.

[Barbazza]

Yeah, we do need to look at the Chance and Community Chest cards!

-You have won 2nd prize at a Tilkedrome Grand Prix. Collect £10.
-You have been shown the black flag. Go straight to the pits. Do not pass the Start/Finish line. Do not collect £200.
-You are Jean-Denis Deletraz. You are only here because of your money. Collect another £100.

-Murray Walker has called you 'undoubtedly the best Formula One driver that Grand Prix racing has ever produced'. Collect £50.
-You win 2nd place in a Pastor Maldonado lookalike contest. Win £10.
-Philippe Alliot comes out of the pits in front of you. Miss 2 turns trying to get past.

[dr-baker]

-The backmarkers ahead of you are shown the blue flags, allowing you to lap them easily. Advance 3 spaces.
-Thousands share images of the launch of your new car on Twitter. Receive £20.
-Pay repairs on your property. £50 per race car and £100 per motorhome.

[This Could Be You]

Some more chance cards;

~ You have been caught in a French lorry driver blockade and miss the race - miss a go

~ Your new car's fuel tank is too small the finish a race; Miss two turns while redesigning you chassis.

[Ataxia]

[Ciaran]

The Go to Jail spot should obviously be reserved for Gachot (even though he's not a reject)

Hey, at least he's not a child molester. *glares at Google Image Search results for Gary Brabham*

[dr-baker]

The Go to Jail spot should obviously be reserved for Gachot (even though he's not a reject)

Hey, at least he's not a child molester. *glares at Google Image Search results for Gary Brabham*

If both ended up in the same prison cell, I could imagine Gachot spraying Gary Brabham in the face with pepper spray (with Sutil in the background giving Brabham a sinister look, with a glass bottle in hand).

[Ataxia]

The Go to Jail spot should obviously be reserved for Gachot (even though he's not a reject)

Hey, at least he's not a child molester. *glares at Google Image Search results for Gary Brabham*

If both ended up in the same prison cell, I could imagine Gachot spraying Gary Brabham in the face with pepper spray (with Sutil in the background giving Brabham a sinister look, with a glass bottle in hand).

Family. Forum.

[dr-baker]

Family. Forum.

Where?




Oh. Right. Ok guys, back to the family-friendly game of Monopoly!

[dinizintheoven]

Really nasty Chance cards:

- You take Carmen Jordá on a date. Miss a turn.
- You go out for a drink with the ghost of James Hunt. Miss four turns.
- You go out for dinner with Alan Jones. Miss ten turns.
- You hire Pastor Maldonado as one of your drivers. Remove one race car from one of your properties*.
- You hire Esteban Gutiérrez as one of your drivers. Remove one motorhome from one of your properties* and scream in sheer frustration at money badly spent.
- You enter a Reliant Robin race. From now on, only progress if you roll one to five.
- You enter a roller-skating race at the Le Mans Bugatti Circuit. If you can roller-skate, progress as normal. If you can't roller-skate, progress only in single squares and occasionally miss a turn when you fall over.
- You are allegedly caught in bed with Enzo Ferrari's granddaughter with some suspicious white powder scattered everywhere, though nobody has ever managed to prove anything. Move to the DNPQ square every time you roll a one.
- Your once-proud team is sold to Pacific Grand Prix. Miss a turn while you spin in your grave.
- You decide to revive the name of a once-proud team. Miss a turn due to legal action.
- You decide it isn't worth trying to revive the name of the once-proud team after all and rename it after a company that builds ancient super-light track-day cars based on that once-proud team's original model. Miss three turns due to legal action and hand £100,000,000* back to the bank.
- You are a pay-driver in the Argentine Grand Prix. Receive £100,000,000* but set the board on fire to continue.
- You are caught spying on your opponents when one of your ex-employees rats on you. If you are McLaren, upgrade all the other players' properties* to motorhomes, and give all your £500,000,000** notes back to the bank. If you are Ferrari, just continue as if nothing had happened. If you are Nelson Piquet Jr, leave the game and play NASCAR Monopoly or Formula E Monopoly instead.
- You release a terrible, terrible acoustic guitar album. Shout to all the other players about how great it is, then hand all your money back to the bank, including that £500,000,000* note you thought nobody saw you stash in your back pocket. Also, play a game of Formula E Monopoly some time in the future, but leave the game after two turns.
- You release a terrible, terrible rap album. Shout to all the other players about how well blingin' it is, and amazingly double the amount in your bank account when all the squealing fanboys buy it despits its obvious awfulness to anyone with functioning ears.
- You are Zoran Stefanovic. Roll a seven to continue.


* ...or whatever the driver squares are being referred to as in this version of the game.
** every note in standard Monopoly has been multiplied by "a Bernie" to make this more authentic to F1 budgets.