F1RMGP presents: The 24 Hour V8 Bathurst Enduro 2014

[TomWazzleshaw]

Are some of these drivers on colombian marching powder or something.

I'm not sure about other drivers but Melrose has simply raided Alain Prost's anti-depressent cabinet. Granted that half the stuff in there's 10 years out of date but that's besides the point

[MinardiFan95]

That's exactly why I hired Mitchy boy as part of the driver development program in the first place. The kid's gonna be a big star in the future. But, either way, someone remind me to set these crapboxes on fire after the race. I feel like destroying some shite.

What the... have you gone insane or something? I wouldn't want to see you burning two decent Ford V8 Supercars, so I'll just send you the Trabant that I bought for Rick to race in the REECCS in before I decided to leave that series and you can destroy that.

[TomWazzleshaw]

That's exactly why I hired Mitchy boy as part of the driver development program in the first place. The kid's gonna be a big star in the future. But, either way, someone remind me to set these crapboxes on fire after the race. I feel like destroying some shite.

What the... have you gone insane or something? I wouldn't want to see you burning two decent Ford V8 Supercars, so I'll just send you the Trabant that I bought for Rick to race in the REECCS in before I decided to leave that series and you can destroy that.

If you take these cars off my hands after the race as well, you've got yourself a deal. *Throws a dart at a dartboard with a picture that looks suspiciously like Rupert Murdoch stuck onto it*

[RonDenisDeletraz]

Are some of these drivers on colombian marching powder or something.

I'm not sure about other drivers but Melrose has simply raided Alain Prost's anti-depressent cabinet. Granted that half the stuff in there's 10 years out of date but that's besides the point

Don't worry Melrose, it is probably not as bad as getting friendzoned with someone who almost everyone in my class thought I had a chance with.

[the Masked Lapwing]

If Melrose does feel like burning some Falcons, then he can stop by the HRT garage, where Frank Zimmer is somewhat drunk out the back. He'll probably have some matches, and tips on avoiding Brazilian authorities

[MinardiFan95]

If you take these cars off my hands after the race as well, you've got yourself a deal. *Throws a dart at a dartboard with a picture that looks suspiciously like Rupert Murdoch stuck onto it*

[/quote]

So you're giving me two V8 Supercars in exchange for a half built REECCS Trabant? Best. Deal. Ever. You can have your old Wartburg back as well, I don't want the damn thing.

If Melrose does feel like burning some Falcons, then he can stop by the HRT garage, where Frank Zimmer is somewhat drunk out the back. He'll probably have some matches, and tips on avoiding an angry mob of Ford fans

Fixed.

[TomWazzleshaw]

If Melrose does feel like burning some Falcons, then he can stop by the HRT garage, where Frank Zimmer is somewhat drunk out the back. He'll probably have some matches, and tips on avoiding Brazilian authorities

I was about to ask what the muppet was up to considering this is an event virtually tailor made for the Zimmer brothers and Davies

Don't worry Melrose, it is probably not as bad as getting friendzoned with someone who almost everyone in my class thought I had a chance with.

While I do sympathise for you, young Jason, it's probably not as bad as being dumped AND friendzoned at the same time. Makes for an incredibly awkward situation the next day when she spends the best part of an hour trying to explain why she did it.

So you're giving me two V8 Supercars in exchange for a half built REECCS Trabant? Best. Deal. Ever. You can have your old Wartburg back as well, I don't want the damn thing.

Wartburg? What Wartburg? Oh, THAT Wartburg. Better add that to the bonfire as well. *Throws another dart at dartboard*

And yes, these are the first signs of a mental breakdown

[RonDenisDeletraz]

That would really suck, I personally wouldn't have listened to her explanation, but I guess that is just me.

At least I have the slight consolation of me and the girl practically being like we are brother and sisyer now.

True story.

[TomWazzleshaw]

That would really suck, I personally wouldn't have listened to her explanation, but I guess that is just me.

At least I have the slight consolation of me and the girl practically being like we are brother and sisyer now.

Fixed (Sorry, couldn't resist )

[RonDenisDeletraz]

Humourousness.

Also, I wish my phone would stop being a shitebox.

[dinizintheoven]

Are some of these drivers on colombian marching powder or something.

I don't recall seeing René Arnoux on the entry list...

...though it is alleged that James Walker has shoved a ton of the stuff up his nose so that he can commentate on the entire race. Even Murray Hunt has asked for some, it is alleged, and also some petrol so he can actually set his trousers on fire.

Anyway... enough drugs and maiming references! The race is four hours in, time for a look at the standings...

[dinizintheoven]

RACE POSITIONS
Saturday, 13 December 2014 – 16:00

Code: Select all

POS +/-  NUM TEAM / CAR                                    DRIVER             LAPS  TIME
--- ---  --- ----------                                    ------             ----  ----
1   +3   7   Team James Davies / Nissan                    J. Davies II       109   04:02:08.100
2   +9   1   Viking Racing / Holden                        J. Magnussen       109   04:02:08.324
3   -2   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  D. Mann            109   04:02:44.297
4   -2   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         J-D. Délétraz      109   04:03:00.102
5   +4   32  Apollonia GT Racing by Hydook / Ford          M. Bosevic         109   04:03:33.884
6   +8   27  Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni / Holden      E. Bertaggia       109   04:03:55.877
7   +1   6   Gulf Oils Ford Australia Racing Team / Ford   R. Simpson         109   04:04:04.606
8   -3   12  Red Bull World Race Team / Holden             M. Paasonen        108   04:02:17.176
9   +1   36  Team Ultimate / Holden                        C. Johnson         108   04:02:22.046
10  +7   16  Leyton Dome Engineering / Nissan              M. Apicella        108   04:02:47.828

Code: Select all

11  +5   25  Gillet Ecurie Nationale Belge / Holden        A. Moll            108   04:03:25.973
12  +6   4   Autobacs Nippon Racing Team / Nissan          K. Oshima          108   04:04:15.339
13  +6   17  Aeroracing Engineering / Nissan               N. Bellic          108   04:04:17.444
14  -1   15  Pac Racing Team / Nissan                      S. Mackintosh      107   04:02:58.030
15  +5   29  Virgin Melrose Racing Team B / Ford           J. Cavalcanti      107   04:03:46.335
16  +5   34  Psycho Soldiers / Ford                        Y. Katayama        107   04:03:49.536
17  +5   20  Foxdale Auto Racing Team / Holden             P. Mann            107   04:04:03.904
18  -11  31  Telecom Italia Trueba Corse / Nissan          G. Roda            106   04:02:45.221
19  -13  19  Virgin Melrose Racing Team / Ford             D. O'Lauchlan      106   04:02:53.220
20  +5   13  Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team / Trabant   P. Chaves          106   04:04:16.458

Code: Select all

21  +3   21  Zombie Conglomerate / Ford                    D. Greenlaw        105   04:04:22.010
22  -7   2   Holden Racing Team / Holden                   M. Skaife          97    04:02:19.435
23  NC   33  Team Sunshine Infiniti / Nissan               K. Lon             88    04:02:58.039
24  -12  23  Scuderia Minardivas / Ford                    S. de Silvestro    80    04:02:12.005
25  -22  8   Super Aguri Enduro / Nissan                   S. Nakano          77    04:02:12.918
26  NC   11  Valkyrie Racing / Holden                      N. Lindgren        71    04:02:21.876

As was widely predicted, West Cliff have lost the lead – though to give Douglas Mann credit in his incapacitated state, they've not lost it by much, and are still on the lead lap. Team James Davies, with the second incarnartion of their eponymous driver at the wheel, have inherited the lead, but crossing the line to complete 109 laps, Jan Magnussen in the Viking Racing Holden has blasted his way through the field to be only two tenths behind! If that could continue for the rest of the race, we'll be in for a cracker. That the West Cliff DeLorean's two-minute lead has been erased is a problem, but no disaster, even if the pressure behind has been slightly lowered by the F1RM Ford being driven by Jean-Denis Délétraz. It'll be Alice Powell versus Chris Dagnall in the third stint – watch that battle. Behind the lead pack, a combination of some exceptional driving and four cars experiencing problems has propelled quite a few cars into higher places. Mirko Bosevic and Enrico Bertaggia can be extremely happy with the work they've done at the wheel of the Apollonia Ford and SAAC Holden respectively, while Rick Simpson may have lost a place in the standings but has hauled the Gulf Oils Ford back onto the lead lap – just. Red Bull World Race Team have slid backwards slightly, as have Pac Racing a further lap back, and this is exacerbated by the cars which have dropped right to the rear due to mechanical problems. How else would there be a pack of seven cars who have all shot up the standings? Leyton Dome, Gillet ENB, Autobacs, Aeroracing, Virgin MRT's B-squad, Psycho Soldiers and Foxdale – credit the efforts of their drivers, certainly, but don't lose sight of those who are now condemned to run round at the wrong end of the field. The most rejectful driving from this stint of the race has come from Giovanni Roda, who has dropped the Trueba Nissan down to 18th and three laps off the leader, ditto Dean O'Lauchlan for Virgin MRT's main entry, who are now a lap behind the B-team, with the utterly unprepared David Besnard about to drive for the next two hours. Pedro Chaves has managed to drag the Cillit Bang! Trabant off the bottom of the timesheets, at least for those whose cars have not gone bang, and the "last" place is now occupied by Dan Greenlaw in the the Zombie Conglomerate Ford. Behind them, Nettan Lindgren has ploughed on in the Valkyrie Racing Holden, which hit trouble in the first stint, and she has now been joined by four others. One of these is Kay Lon in the Sunshine Nissan, who barged her very rudely out of the way within five minutes of getting on the track, and was rewarded not so long later with a transmission fault that took long enough to fix that the team lost 20 laps. The Holden Racing Team were hampered as Mark Skaife slithered off the track and hit the barriers hard enough to trash the bodywork, losing 12 laps while it was repaired to raceable standards, although the mechanicals underneath were still sound. Simona de Silvestro and Shinji Nakano were the other two drivers to hit trouble, the Minardivas Ford losing 30 laps with a terrible engine fault and the Super Aguri Nissan suffering the worst problems of all, losing 34 laps while the gremlins in its complicated electrical system were sorted out.

[Shadaza]

The pace is good, so good that we very nearly regained our lost lap, Cave hasn't quite kept pace with the Fords and Vikings around us but has climbed a single posistion. With Prost behind the wheel hopefully we can get back on the lead lap.

[Salamander]

Keep going, man, your pace is good. We should be on for a podium here if things keep up.

10-4.

What!? What the bathplug is this shite!? Your pace is not good! Go faster! I had a minute and 20 on those Vikings and you've lost all of it!

Pretty sure they're on a different strategy--

No! No strategy excuses that! GO. FASTER. That's a goddamn order! And do not let Magnussen by at any cost!

Not my fault, bud. These tyres are crap.

Then let's get them changed. But don't let Magnussen through!

10-4.

Uh, guys, the strategy says not to pit--

10-4.

Bathplug the strategy!

10-4.

You're just ignoring us now, aren't you?

10-4.

[dr-baker]

How the bathplug did I not lose a lap? I feel delirious. Must have been the urge to get my part of the race over and done with that did it... Now I need to visit my mate Armitage Shanks again!

Glad to not lose another lap and remain 2 laps from the lead. Having Douglas in the DeLorean for that stint and not the rather quiet Martin McFry must have helped, I reckon. Our aim in the Foxdale Holden is just to remain steady and to keep reliable, and hope to gain places while others falter.

[DemocalypseNow]

OK I mean for sure it's good to be in a the Top 10 now, but ok, there is a long way to go, maybe we can fall back again, I don't know, but ok, Tony [D'Alberto] knows the car and the track well, maybe this helps us, we just drive 100% and see what happen. Very good.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH NOT A CHEVROLET AGAIN NOOOO AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? Oh, scuse, I was having another bad flashback, I don'ta know how to stop it...ok, it was a little hard to focus during my stint in the car, there was vibrations and stuff and I saw the ghost of Yvan Muller which caused me to spin...it was a shame but ok, Enrico he did well, we are now Top 10 again, lets hope we can continue this progress.

I get to drive now? Bonza! Mine mine mine mineeeeeeee!

Man, these Aussies have got no balls, constantly whining and bitching about women. It makes me sick.

Now, if you'll excuse me, apparently HRT has alcohol.

[RonDenisDeletraz]

This setup is shite, the tyres are not lasting at all.

I am not changing the setup.

Bathplug this, I have to drive next.

Stop whining, Jason didn't have any problems.

zzzzz

WAKE UP!

[TomWazzleshaw]

What the bathplug is this bathplugging shite? Dean, you're so bathplugging useless it's not bathplugging funny. Hell, my ex bathplugging girlfriend could drive better than you. And she damn near killed me the one time I got into a bathplugging car with her at the wheel. If you're gonna keep this bathplugging crap up, you can take your sorry arse back to the US of bathplugging A.

[FMecha]

The Valkryie was utter mobile chicane. It is worse than those at this year's South City Sprint (RoLFS) race.

I feel a bit faster here than in the Mecha.

Hiroto-kun and Mac(kintosh) seems to show that they aren't reject punks - but they seems like the second (Pac Racing) car when I was in 1999 RRR season. Glock should able to show his maximum performance and not Marussian-ish anonymous performance.

-------------
Meanwhile, at Psycho Soldiers garage...

The second MRT car bathplugged Ogawa, but I know that, had Ogawa did not have his accident in 1992 (Ogawa was an hologram driver) he would became a reject if he goes into F1. And Yuka is at least better than Shinobu here. I expect many from Mitsui - her time at F1RMWEC was cut short by the idiots at Reppu. I'm conquering the World of Rejects! MAKE YURI MITSUI BETTER THAN BEFORE!!

Also, I know everything: Lindsay is a publicocrapper, the main Melrose is equipped with (non-functioning) 'easy-difficulty' system, and the West Cliff was equipped with a (non-functioning) time-travel system. HAHAHAHA~!

(Psycho Soldiers' team manager is simply known as Ai. She is a psycho empress of the Rejectuniverse - or as Ai said - World of Rejects. )

[Salamander]

The second MRT car bathplugged Ogawa, but I know that, had Ogawa did not have his accident in 1992 (Ogawa was an hologram driver) he would became a reject if he goes into F1. And Yuka is at least better than Shinobu here. I expect many from Mitsui - her time at F1RMWEC was cut short by the idiots at Reppu. I'm conquering the World of Rejects! MAKE YURI MITSUI BETTER THAN BEFORE!!

Also, I know everything: Lindsay is a publicocrapper, the main Melrose is equipped with (non-functioning) 'easy-difficulty' system, and the West Cliff was equipped with a (non-functioning) time-travel system. HAHAHAHA~!

Put a sock in it, you old bat, the good teams are trying to win!

[FMecha]

The second MRT car bathplugged Ogawa, but I know that, had Ogawa did not have his accident in 1992 (Ogawa was an hologram driver) he would became a reject if he goes into F1. And Yuka is at least better than Shinobu here. I expect many from Mitsui - her time at F1RMWEC was cut short by the idiots at Reppu. I'm conquering the World of Rejects! MAKE YURI MITSUI BETTER THAN BEFORE!!

Also, I know everything: Lindsay is a publicocrapper, the main Melrose is equipped with (non-functioning) 'easy-difficulty' system, and the West Cliff was equipped with a (non-functioning) time-travel system. HAHAHAHA~!

Put a sock in it, you old bat, the good teams are trying to win!

Nah, Ai is a, simply put, troll.


PROBLEM, DAVIES?

[dr-baker]

The second MRT car bathplugged Ogawa, but I know that, had Ogawa did not have his accident in 1992 (Ogawa was an hologram driver) he would became a reject if he goes into F1. And Yuka is at least better than Shinobu here. I expect many from Mitsui - her time at F1RMWEC was cut short by the idiots at Reppu. I'm conquering the World of Rejects! MAKE YURI MITSUI BETTER THAN BEFORE!!

Also, I know everything: Lindsay is a publicocrapper, the main Melrose is equipped with (non-functioning) 'easy-difficulty' system, and the West Cliff was equipped with a (non-functioning) time-travel system. HAHAHAHA~!

Put a sock in it, you old bat, the good teams are trying to win!

The bad teams are trying to win too, you know! Look at how the DeLorean is going, for crying out loud! AND that's with a driver with Dehli Belly!

[dinizintheoven]

RACE POSITIONS
Saturday, 13 December 2014 – 18:00

Code: Select all

POS +/-  NUM TEAM / CAR                                    DRIVER             LAPS  TIME
--- ---  --- ----------                                    ------             ----  ----
1   +1   1   Viking Racing / Holden                        S. Johansson       162   06:00:02.158
2   +1   22  West Cliff Racing / DeLorean                  A. Powell          162   06:00:12.109
3   +1   9   Formula One Rejects Motorsport / Ford         C. Dagnall         161   06:00:38.104
4   +2   27  Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni / Holden      T. D'Alberto       161   06:01:07.018
5   +3   12  Red Bull World Race Team / Holden             D. Hallenstein     161   06:01:14.148
6   +5   25  Gillet Ecurie Nationale Belge / Holden        L. Seron           161   06:01:56.542
7   +3   16  Leyton Dome Engineering / Nissan              B. Giacomelli      160   06:00:45.130
8   +1   36  Team Ultimate / Holden                        S. Prost           160   06:01:11.257
9   -2   6   Gulf Oils Ford Australia Racing Team / Ford   A. Yoong           160   06:01:22.072
10  +4   15  Pac Racing Team / Nissan                      T. Glock           160   06:01:42.962

Code: Select all

11  -6   32  Apollonia GT Racing by Hydook / Ford          P. Kralev          160   06:02:01.543
12  NC   4   Autobacs Nippon Racing Team / Nissan          J. Cochet          160   06:02:10.001
13  NC   17  Aeroracing Engineering / Nissan               R. McAllister      159   06:02:06.832
14  +3   20  Foxdale Auto Racing Team / Holden             B. Fleet           158   06:00:55.946
15  +5   13  Cillit Bang! Trabant Factory Team / Trabant   R. Moreno          158   06:01:34.805
16  -1   29  Virgin Melrose Racing Team B / Ford           A. Reyna-Sanchez   158   06:02:01.664
17  -1   34  Psycho Soldiers / Ford                        Y. Mitsui          157   06:00:48.524
18  +1   19  Virgin Melrose Racing Team / Ford             D. Besnard         157   06:01:00.607
19  -1   31  Telecom Italia Trueba Corse / Nissan          G. Amati           157   06:01:54.149
20  +1   21  Zombie Conglomerate / Ford                    P. Senerson        157   06:02:06.008

Code: Select all

21  +1   2   Holden Racing Team / Holden                   N. Percat          150   06:01:46.083
22  -21  7   Team James Davies / Nissan                    J. Davies III      142   06:01:27.917
23  NC   33  Team Sunshine Infiniti / Nissan               F. Barbazza        140   06:00:32.138
24  NC   23  Scuderia Minardivas / Ford                    M. Mouton          133   06:01:49.894
25  NC   8   Super Aguri Enduro / Nissan                   U. Katayama        130   06:00:22.453
26  NC   11  Valkyrie Racing / Holden                      R. Karlsson        123   06:00:47.202

Six hours into the race, and Stefan Johansson is leading for what must be the first time in a hundred and twenty billion years, sternly resisting the pressure that was relentlessly applied by 21-year-old Alice Powell in the 33-year-old DeLorean which Douglas Mann had done his best to not leave in a fearful state (and failed). These two were now the only cars on the lead lap, as Team James Davies suffered transmission trouble while in a comfortable lead, and had to crawl back to the pits for a fix that lost the team 21 laps, and which might still be fragile for the rest of the race. Leading the charge for those one lap down was Chris Dagnall in the F1RM Ford, chased by three Holdens – those of SAAC, Red Bull and Gillet ENB, driven by Tony D'Alberto, Dieter Hallenstein and Laurent Seron – none of them highly rated drivers but all doing a superb job in this section of the race, particularly the last two. Nissan were already having a bad day, as their lead entry was now the Leyton Dome Engineering car, driven expertly by Bruno Giacomelli to keep it within two laps of the leaders. Sebastian Prost in the Team Ultimate Holden was holden' steady (see what I did there?), Alex Yoong had allowed the Gulf Oils Ford to slide down the rankings slightly, whereas Timo Glock was doing a fine job dragging the Pac Racing Nissan back up the standings into the top ten. Joining them on 160 laps were the Apollonia Ford, now in a downward spiral with the Fire King at the wheel, and Jonathan Cochet for Autobacs. Rory McAllister was a lonely figure in the Aeroracing Nissan, the only car to have covered 159 laps, while back in reject territory, Ben Fleet in the Foxdale Holden and Antonio Reyna-Sanchez in the second Virgin MRT Ford had been split by the Cillit Bang! Trabant, with Roberto Moreno using all his vast experience of rejectful cars to excellent effect. Mired on 157 laps and not really going anywhere were the Psycho Soldiers Ford, Virgin MRT's A-team with a thoroughly unprepared David Besnard driving, though he'd soon get used to it, a catastrophically rejectful stint from Giovanna Amati that was threatening to send the Trueba Nissan hurtling backwards, and last of the untroubled runners, the Zombie Conglomerate Ford in Peter Senerson's hands. It was now not beyond the realms of possibility that Holden Racing Team could make up enough ground to overtake some of the stragglers, with Nick Percat driving well enough to keep them on the radar. Team James Davies now found themselves (himself?) eight laps behind HRT, and with the field spread amongst the other problem-hampered runners, there was no change in the running order, although Ukyo Katayama and Ramona Karlsson have both been driving the wheels off their cars in an attempt to salvage some pride from the race. Onwards we go, as the drivers who took the start get back behind the wheel for their second two hours of on-track action.

[tommykl]

OK Laurent, you're doing a great job. Keep it up, but don't overdrive. We need the car in one piece for Thomas and Aurelien.

Roger that. Keep it up and overdrive.

No, I said don't overdrive, we need you to bring back the car in one pie-

*badly faked static*Wait, wha-? I can't hear what you're say-*badly faked static*

*sighs*

[Pointrox]

What is this Bulgarian fool doing? Step on it for Pete's sake!

[dr-baker]

Looking forward to my next stint in the car. Even with Douglas's dodgyness, we're still only 10 seconds off the lead and one of only two on the lead lap. Of course, being a time traveller, I already know how this race ends up for us, but I am not going to let the cat out of the bag just yet!

I am happy for the West Cliff team. I am just hoping that we at Foxdale end up with a top-10 finish. I don't think that we can aim for anything more with our pace, but that seems a realistic target.

[DemocalypseNow]

OK Tony, great stint, time for driver change to Gabriele. Box this lap, box this lap.

NO! Still Tony's turn. Tony wanna play some more.

We went over this already Tony, every driver gets four 2 hour stints in the race...you will get your turn again after Gabi and Enrico.

I DON'T CARE! TONY WANT CAR. NYYYYAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oi, f**kface, do you want us to hire Pedobear? Get off the f***ing track you f***ing moron.

NYYYAAAAHHHHH NOT LISTENING NANANANANANANANAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I wonder if EuroBrun will take me back next season, I can't live like this...

[FMecha]

Good! I'm happy to see Glock doing it well. Keep it up when it's your turn, Timo!

Bathplug, bathplug, bathplug, just bathplug. You should drive a bit harder and push it into overdrive, Yuri.

Ogawa, get ready to return to the Ford. And shut up, Alasdair, your are just a hypocrite publicocrapper*.

*Only intended as a joke, kostas. Note that Ai is highly critical person...

[Salamander]

Holy shite, we're leading by miles, we might actually pull this off!

Of course we'll pull it off, we're all the single greatest driver of all time.

Amen to that.

Alright, let's see if I can't stretch this lead before... oh bathplug.

What? What!? You better not've broken anything!

The gearstick's come off! I'm stuck in 4th!

BATHPLUG! BATHPLUG! BATHPLUG! BATHPLUG!

Okay, dude, come on, bring it in, we can fix that.

WHAT'S THE POINT!? WE'VE LOST NOW, THANKS A BATHPLUGGING LOT 14.

Hey, I'm not the one who picked a Japanese econo-crapbox. I told you we should've tried to enter something else. But no! You had to get a nice garage!

BATHPLUG YOU!

Shut up both of you! Here, 95, take some eggs and throw them at the Psycho Soldiers pit or something, calm yourself down.

Fine.

Wish I'd thought of that earlier. Okay, 14, let's get to fixing this crapbox. Maybe, if we're lucky, a meteor shower'll hit the track, all the other cars will go out, and we can still win... actually, we do have a time machi--

That would be cheating.

Man, you are no fun.

[FMecha]

Shut up both of you! Here, 95, take some eggs and throw them at the Psycho Soldiers pit or something, calm yourself down.

What you have did to us? What you did is completely unacceptable. TAKE THIS! HEYAAA~!!

*shoots a papaya juice gun, doing a beam spam*

[Salamander]

Shut up both of you! Here, 95, take some eggs and throw them at the Psycho Soldiers pit or something, calm yourself down.

What you have did to us? What you did is completely unacceptable. TAKE THIS! HEYAAA~!!

*shoots a papaya juice gun, doing a beam spam*

*Dodges all but the last shot*

... You got papaya juice on my firesuit.

Oh God.

*Gets into time machine*
*Returns with 12 cartons of eggs*
*Throws every single egg at Ai*
HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!?
*Throws watermelon as well, for good measure*

[FMecha]

Shut up both of you! Here, 95, take some eggs and throw them at the Psycho Soldiers pit or something, calm yourself down.

What you have did to us? What you did is completely unacceptable. TAKE THIS! HEYAAA~!!

*shoots a papaya juice gun, doing a beam spam*

*Dodges all but the last shot*

... You got papaya juice on my firesuit.

Oh God.

*Gets into time machine*
*Returns with 12 cartons of eggs*
*Throws every single egg at Ai*
HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!?
*Throws watermelon as well, for good measure*

MORE PAPAYA JUICE GUNS!

*facepalms* For bathplugging good riddance, stop it Ai, Davies(es)! This is bathplugging ridiculous - you aren't kids anymore, this is professional racing. Motor racing is a serious thing. I'm at phone now, calling the security. *calls track security*

[tristan1117]

We're really slow, aren't we.

[dr-baker]

Wish I'd thought of that earlier. Okay, 14, let's get to fixing this crapbox. Maybe, if we're lucky, a meteor shower'll hit the track, all the other cars will go out, and we can still win... actually, we do have a time machi--

That would be cheating.

Man, you are no fun.

Mr James Davies, Sir. May I politely remind you that there is another who would be able to pull the same trick as you, if youwere to try it? It would not guarentee you victory, that's all I'm saying. (There again, I'm so good, I imagine I wouldn't need to use the flux capacitor anyway, even if you were to attempt time travel to win...)

[TomWazzleshaw]

Bathplug this. Time to tear shite up. *Heads over to the AI garage with what looks like a potato Gatling Gun*

[Nessafox]

Unlike West Cliff and Davies who are capable to bend space and time, Trabant are able to bend logic, beat that!

[DemocalypseNow]

Unlike West Cliff and Davies who are capable to bend space and time, Trabant are able to bend logic, beat that!

If Trabant wins this race, Scuderia Alitalia will abandon their Ladas in favour of Trabants for the REECCS...

[dr-baker]

Unlike West Cliff and Davies who are capable to bend space and time, Trabant are able to bend logic, beat that!

If Trabant wins this race, Scuderia Alitalia will abandon their Ladas in favour of Trabants for the REECCS...

Yeah, but that'll never happen...

[Salamander]

Mr James Davies, Sir. May I politely remind you that there is another who would be able to pull the same trick as you, if youwere to try it? It would not guarentee you victory, that's all I'm saying. (There again, I'm so good, I imagine I wouldn't need to use the flux capacitor anyway, even if you were to attempt time travel to win...)

You can't tell me what to do!

I think 03 was just joking around, Mr McFry.

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were.

No, he wasn't. Let's get to the time machine guys.

Wait, it's locked.

Shite. I've lost the keys.

Well, they have to be here somewhere...

You're wasting your time. With the help of a future Mr McFry, I've left the keys in 1985. Where they'll remain until the race is over.

You dick! It's like you don't even want to win!

Yeah, what the hell, man.

If we can't win legitimately, then what's the point?

We could time travel back here after we get the keys back.

You're not helping your case, you know.

True, besides, you want to screw up reality even more? We nearly caused a time paradox just by being here, you want to piss off Dr Rimmer even more?

Point.

Besides, guys, once we get the keys back, we can just time travel forward another year and enter the next race.

I suppose that'll have to do.

[FMecha]

Bathplug this. Time to tear shite up. *Heads over to the AI garage with what looks like a potato Gatling Gun*

Hey! Easy-difficulty Melrose, are you attempting to do espionage against us? *shots Melrose with papaya-juice-and-milk-gun*

And Davieses, your time-travel keys are mine. :Next is to bathplug up Alasdair... Shift into overdrive, Ogawa-san!!