If you were Bernie...

[Ferrarist]

...and try to be like Vince McMahon, Dana White or Don King and put up actual fights between drivers on PPV, what would you book? Here's my card:

Loser has to retire forever
Rubens Barrichello vs. Michael Schumacher

Formula One World Championship
Sebastian Vettel (C) vs. Mark Webber

Tag Team Match
Mclaren (Lewis Hamilton/Jenson Button) vs. Ferrari (Fernando Alonso/Felipe Massa)

Barroom Brawl
Adrian Sutil vs. Eric Lux

Winner gets the right for the "Lotus" name
Team Lotus (Heikki Kovalainen/Jarno Trulli) vs. Lotus-Renault (Vitaly Petrov/Nick Heidfeld)

Formula One Reject Championship*
Vitantonio Liuzzi (C) vs. Narain Karthikeyan

*The Formula One Reject Championship is not held by the winner of each bout, but by the loser. That means the champ doesn't lose the championship until he wins a championship match. Because the winner doesn't deserve to hold a Reject Championship.

[FullMetalJack]

This made me lmao. The reject championship obviously being the most prestigious.

[TomWazzleshaw]

Money in the Bank ladder match
Narain Karthikeyan vs Pastor Maldonado

The winner is the first to put all the money INTO the suitcase.

[Phoenix]

Sergio Pérez and Rey Mysterio vs Nelson Piquet and Batista

[FullMetalJack]

What are you doing Deletraz

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING

[Ferrarist]

I have to bump this thread, because I got a few more ideas coming up, which deserve to be written down:

Flowerbed Wrestling Match for the 1997 True Value 500 Trophy
Arie Luyendyk vs. A.J. Foyt

Pit Lane Brawl
Paul Tracy vs. Alex Tagliani

Grudge Match
Adrian Sutil vs. Lewis Hamilton

Cucumber-on-a-Pole-Crybaby-Match*
Sebastian Vettel vs. Narain Karthikeyan

Formula One Reject Championship
Romain Grosjean (C) vs. Narain Karthikeyan

* The goal in this match is to get the cucumber-on-a-pole first. The loser is then dressed in a diaper (Hence the "crybaby").

I'd watch this on PPV for sure, although the prospect of either Vettel or Karthikeyan wearing Pampers...eew.

[Sunshine_Baby_[IT]]

I have to bump this thread, because I got a few more ideas coming up, which deserve to be written down:
Grudge Match
Adrian Sutil vs. Lewis Hamilton

The winner is the one who glasses the other one?

[pasta_maldonado]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

[Salamander]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

what is this i dont even

[DemocalypseNow]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

Alternative thought process;
Bernie is an Ecclestone >> Petra Ecclestone. D'Ambrosio >> Ambrosia. Ambrosia is a brand of custard >> custard creams >> cream. Pu...WOAH WOAH WOAH BACK UP THE TRUCK, FAMILY FORUM

[RonDenisDeletraz]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

Okay. O_o

[Sunshine_Baby_[IT]]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

Alternative thought process;
Bernie is an Ecclestone >> Petra Ecclestone. D'Ambrosio >> Ambrosia. Ambrosia is a brand of custard >> custard creams >> cream. Pu...WOAH WOAH WOAH BACK UP THE TRUCK, FAMILY FORUM

[TomWazzleshaw]

If I were Bernie, I'd hold an all-night custard party with Jerome D'Ambrosio. Just because I can.

Alternative thought process;
Bernie is an Ecclestone >> Petra Ecclestone. D'Ambrosio >> Ambrosia. Ambrosia is a brand of custard >> custard creams >> cream. Pu...WOAH WOAH WOAH BACK UP THE TRUCK, FAMILY FORUM

*Cowers in a corner at the mere thought of that*