If every F1 Reject wrote their autobiography...

Post by **tommykl** » 22 Jan 2013, 14:17

...what would the titles be?

First idea:

Oliver Grouillard: the car in front is an Osella

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 22 Jan 2013, 14:23

Perry McCarthy: Flat Out, Flat Broke Oh wait...

Bernie Ecclestone: Money Makes the Cars Go Around....

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 22 Jan 2013, 15:54

Jean-Denis Deletraz - What I was doing

Monstrobolaxa · Post by **Monstrobolaxa** » 22 Jan 2013, 15:55

If every F1 Reject wrote their autobiography...

...we'd be screwed and not have time for life!

Post by **Nuppiz** » 22 Jan 2013, 16:04

Taki Inoue - Of Safety Cars and Fire Extinguishers.

dinizintheoven · Post by **dinizintheoven** » 22 Jan 2013, 16:34

Marco Apicella: "Just One Corner, Give It To Me"

Ivan "not a reject but this season certainly was" Capelli's account of his 1992 season: "Nightmare on MaranElm-o Street"

Andrea Montermini: "Out Of The Frying Pan, Into Two More Frying Pans"

Piercarlo Ghinzani: "You're Once, Twice, Three Times a Backmarker"

Anthony Davidson: "Groundhog Day"

Pedro Chaves: "A Coloni Of Errors" (afterword by Naoki Hattori)

Gabriele Tarquini: "Screw This, I'm Going To Touring Cars"

Luca Badoer: "Pointless" (foreword by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman)

Jan Magnussen: "The Exploding Suitcase (And Other Mysteries)"

Giovanni Lavaggi: "...At The Car Wash"

Fabrizio Barbazza: "Big Hair, Small Teams"

Vincenzo Sospiri: "Blink And You'll Miss It"

Timo Glock and Olivier Beretta go on a driving holiday in a Mitsubishi Colt in the southern states of America. They write a tour diary of their experience and call it, simply: "Bang!"

And finally: a best-selling book in the fiction section of all good bookstores, the enthralling read that is "My Brilliant Championship-Winning Career In Formula One (And Other Sports)"... by Adrian Shankar. Also available in other varieties, such as cricket, football, snooker, pétanque, water polo, Greco-Roman wrestling, Turkish oil wrestling, WWE wrestling, boccia, and darts.

andrew2209 · Post by **andrew2209** » 22 Jan 2013, 16:53

Some slightly cheesy names:
"Tuero-charged"
"van de Poele Position"
"Forever Yoong"
"Rosset really worth it?"
"The good, the Badoer and the ugly"

FantometteBR · Post by **FantometteBR** » 22 Jan 2013, 16:56

Pierre-Henri Raphanel: I Was at Rial, and Believe Me, Wasn't That Good...

Gregor Foitek: Please Forgive Me Johnny

Yannick Dalmas: At Least They Remind Me At Le Mans...

Alex Yoong: Sepang's Proud Son... or not...

Allen Berg: Viva La Formula 2 Mexicana!

Barbazza · Post by **Barbazza** » 22 Jan 2013, 17:55

"Martini Stole My Car!!"

Ferrarist · Post by **Ferrarist** » 22 Jan 2013, 18:11

I find it slightly boring to just do F1 Rejects (Especially since all good ideas have already been taken), so I'll do some other people:

Bruno Senna - "Names can't buy you anything"
Nicolas Prost - "At least the name Senna got him a cockpit"
Rubens Barrichello - "Screwed: The Rubens Barrichello Story"
Paul di Resta - "Why I deserve that McLaren seat, damnit!"
Timo Glock - "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
Susie Wolff - "How to get a F1 seat by marrying a team's shareholder"
Helmut Marko - "Why Ferrari sucks and Sebastian Vettel is the next coming of Jesus Christ"
Kimi Raikkonen - "Yes"

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 22 Jan 2013, 18:15

Ferrarist wrote:Susie Wolff - "How to get a F1 seat by marrying a team's shareholder"

"How to get a F1 seat by marrying a team's shareholder('s daughter)" by Christjian Albers

pi314159 · Post by **pi314159** » 22 Jan 2013, 18:25

He's not a reject, but:

Jarno Trulli - You shall not pass.

Post by **Londoner** » 22 Jan 2013, 18:51

Paul Di Resta - The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be. (ends up getting his arse sued by Bret Hart and the WWE :lol:

)

Bruno Senna - Free Riding, My Way.

Mark Webber - Not Bad For a Number 2

Rubens Barrichello - It's SO Unfair!

andrew2209 · Post by **andrew2209** » 22 Jan 2013, 18:51

pi314159 wrote:He's not a reject, but:

Jarno Trulli - You shall not pass.

Goruillard or de Cesaris anyone?

UncreativeUsername37 · Post by **UncreativeUsername37** » 22 Jan 2013, 19:31

andrew2209 wrote:
pi314159 wrote:He's not a reject, but:

Jarno Trulli - You shall not pass.

Goruillard or de Cesaris anyone?

Foreword by Al Pease and Philippe Alliot.

Post by **Ataxia** » 22 Jan 2013, 20:22

Paolo Barilla: A Chequered Past(a)
James Hunt: Sex and Drugs and Provisional Pole
Bertrand Gachot: 50 Shades of Spray (or the alternative title, Taxi!)
Jos Verstappen: Rolling with the Punches
Mark Blundell: I Done It What Was, In Fairness, My Way
Tomas Enge: Toking the Competition

Ferrarist · Post by **Ferrarist** » 22 Jan 2013, 20:23

East Londoner wrote:Paul Di Resta - The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be. (ends up getting his arse sued by Bret Hart and the WWE )

So does it make Sergio Perez di Resta's Shawn Michaels? :mrgreen:

Gerudo Dragon · Post by **Gerudo Dragon** » 22 Jan 2013, 20:37

Gary Brabham - That's Life (afterword by Bruno Giacomelli)

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 22 Jan 2013, 21:04

Ferrarist wrote:Collin Kolles - "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Fixed

Ferrarist wrote:Kimi Raikkonen - "Yes"

Foreword by Daniel Bryan

Earnard Beccelstone · Post by **Earnard Beccelstone** » 22 Jan 2013, 22:44

Markus Winkelhock - 'At The Front'

Kazuki Nakajima - 'Out For a Spin'

Sakon Yamamoto - 'Rear View Mirror Unnecessary'

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 23 Jan 2013, 12:15

dinizintheoven wrote:And finally: a best-selling book in the fiction section of all good bookstores, the enthralling read that is "My Brilliant Championship-Winning Career In Formula One (And Other Sports)"... by Don Pentcost.

Fixed.

Ferrarist wrote:Kimi Raikkonen - "Yes"

This'll be a rather short book, won't it?

I'm know what to do. I was having a shite.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 23 Jan 2013, 12:57

-The Earl of Oversteer, by Tora Takagi.
-Punch me, I'm Irish, by Eddie Irvine.
-OhSella Mia, by Piercarlo Ghinzani.
-You Spin Me Round Like a Record, by Stephane Sarrazin.
-The God of The Rats, by Huub Rothengatter.
-Lipstick Drive, by Desiré Wilson.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 23 Jan 2013, 13:52

'Going Outta' - Shinji Nakano

FantometteBR · Post by **FantometteBR** » 23 Jan 2013, 15:27

Paollo Barilla - It Lacks Sauce...

Mike Thackwell - Racing Sucks, Surfing is Better

Mauro Baldi - I Had Spirit, the car... not so much...

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 23 Jan 2013, 20:51

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 24 Jan 2013, 18:24

Eliseo Salazar “I don’t take no hit from anyone” :lol:

Philippe Adams “Who says money can’t buy you happyiness”

Giovanna Amati “Sleeping my way into F1”

pasta_maldonado · Post by **pasta_maldonado** » 24 Jan 2013, 19:09

ibsey wrote:Eliseo Salazar “I don’t take no hit from anyone”

I'm thinking more along the lines of

Eliseo Salazar - "I'm afraid of no Piquet"

nigellamansell · Post by **nigellamansell** » 25 Jan 2013, 02:19

Nick Wirth: If at first you don't succeed, try again

Bertrand Gachot: Get "the knowledge"

Post by **Ataxia** » 25 Jan 2013, 12:23

Narain Karthikeyan: Around the Track in 80 Days
Rene Arnoux: Learning My Lines
Nicolas Kiesa: Bringing Home The Bacon

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 25 Jan 2013, 13:49

Tarso Marques “Arriving with a bang”

Esteban Tuero “Leaving with a bang”

Jean Louis Schlesser “How to get noticed”

nigellamansell · Post by **nigellamansell** » 25 Jan 2013, 19:00

Luigi Colani - Up Periscope!

FantometteBR · Post by **FantometteBR** » 25 Jan 2013, 22:21

Philippe Adams - Rule the field in the supporting race, do nothing at the proper race

Onxy Wrecked · Post by **Onxy Wrecked** » 27 Jan 2013, 20:10

Eliseo Salazar: Of Piquet and Greasy Old Salad Bars.

Aerond · Post by **Aerond** » 28 Jan 2013, 01:01

Jean-Christophe Boullion -- Wine, Cigarettes, and a Canadian with glasses.
Adrian Campos -- Racing Barbeque
Jaime Alguersuari -- Scratching heads

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 28 Jan 2013, 09:58

Lucas di Grassi "Just a another virgin man who failed to score"

Post by **Ataxia** » 28 Jan 2013, 14:15

Aerond wrote:Jean-Christophe Boullion -- Wine, Cigarettes, and a Canadian with glasses.

Or the alternative title, Rising Stock...

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 28 Jan 2013, 16:58

Allan McNish "10 years too late"

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 29 Mar 2013, 02:10

Here are mine:

Gary Brabham- Pre-qualifying sucks in a Life.
Gaston Mazzacane- Hey, I keep my car on the road.
Olivier Groulliard- Prepare to be blocked!
Ricardo Rossett- A Senna wannabe.
Bertrand Gachot- I helped Schumacher get into F1.
Volker Wiedler- I did win Le Mans.
Tarso Marques- Can I get out of this Minardi?

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 29 Mar 2013, 02:24

Gary Brabham: "Life? Don't talk to me about Life..."

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 29 Mar 2013, 02:27

Stramala [kostas22] wrote:Gary Brabham: "Life? Don't talk to me about Life..."

I worship Douglas Adams.

Life, the Universe, and everything? 42