Predicament Predictions - 2014 Malaysian Grand Prix

[TomWazzleshaw]

As always, deadline is the conclusion of FP3

Wizzie's Predictions
2014 Malaysian Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Bo77as
3. Alonso
4. Button
5. Rosberg
6. Vettel
7. Magnussen
8. Massa
9. Ricciardo
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Magnussen
Fastest Lap: Bo77as
First Retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: Perez (Continues awful Melbourne form with a lazy spin into a local gravel trap)
IIDOTR: Bo77as (Spends most of the race going punch-for-punch Hamilton)
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Gutierrez (Allowed to start)

[good_Ralf]

good_Ralf's predictions

2014 KLGP
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Magnussen
4. Massa
5. Bottas
6. Alonso
7. Button
8. Raikkonen
9. Hulkenberg
10. Kvyat

Pole: Magnussen
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Gutierrez
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Magnussen
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: 0

[Jocke1]

2014 Niki Lauda Niki Lauda Niki Lauda Niki Lauda Malaysian Grand Prix

1. Magnussen
2. Massa
3. Ericsson
4. Ricciardo
5. Hulkenberg
6. Maldonado
7. Kvyat
8. DNF
9. DNF
10. DNF

Pole: Magnussen
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Chilton & Kobayashi (goes off like Senna-Prost)
IIDOTR: Magnussen (Grand Chelem)
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: 0

[Zetec]

According to swiss newspapers the 2014 Malaysian Grand Prix is canceled. Has someone else heard anything about that?

The Formula 1 race next weekend in Malaysia and the Christina Aguilera concert are to be canceled because of the plane crash. As "a sign of respect for the families and relatives of the crew and the passengers".

[TomWazzleshaw]

According to swiss newspapers the 2014 Malaysian Grand Prix is canceled. Has someone else heard anything about that?

The Formula 1 race next weekend in Malaysia and the Christina Aguilera concert are to be canceled because of the plane crash. As "a sign of respect for the families and relatives of the crew and the passengers".

You sure someone hasn't just been spiking the fondue over there, because that's news to me

[Londoner]

According to swiss newspapers the 2014 Malaysian Grand Prix is canceled. Has someone else heard anything about that?

The Formula 1 race next weekend in Malaysia and the Christina Aguilera concert are to be canceled because of the plane crash. As "a sign of respect for the families and relatives of the crew and the passengers".

F1 raced in the middle of a civil war, there's more chance of the Sinclair C5 becoming a popular form of transportation in the next week than Bernie cancelling this race.

[Zetec]

According to swiss newspapers the 2014 Malaysian Grand Prix is canceled. Has someone else heard anything about that?

The Formula 1 race next weekend in Malaysia and the Christina Aguilera concert are to be canceled because of the plane crash. As "a sign of respect for the families and relatives of the crew and the passengers".

You sure someone hasn't just been spiking the fondue over there, because that's news to me

I don't know really. It's in the newspaper I just read a few minutes ago. But I still can't find any information on that anywhere else. The teams are obviously already at the track with all the equipment, so it seems odd.

[Zetec]

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2014/03/25/MH370-crash-F1-Grand-Prix-concert-featuring-Aguilera-cancelled/

So, obviously the newspapers misunderstood something. Too much white whine in the fondue I would say.
Only the concert to be canceled. Also the swiss newspapers has changed the news right now in the online edition.
Sorry for the wrong news.

[TomWazzleshaw]

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2014/03/25/MH370-crash-F1-Grand-Prix-concert-featuring-Aguilera-cancelled/

So, obviously the newspapers misunderstood something. Too much white whine in the fondue I would say.
Only the concert to be canceled. Also the swiss newspapers has changed the news right now in the online edition.
Sorry for the wrong news.

Ah, no worries.

And for that, The Star now gets a 1 million point penalty for being muppets

[Aerospeed]

So, anyway,

2014 Bone Driest GP Ever GP
1. Hamilton
2. Raikkonen
3. Hulkenberg
4. Button
5. Perez
6. Magnussen
7. Massa
8. Alonso
9. Sutil
10. Bottas

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First DNF: Kvyat
ROTR: Weathermen wombles
IIDOTR: Raikkonen
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez
MLP: Magnussen... Obviously
DNQ: Both Caterhams (allowed to race)

[watka]

Watka's Predictions
2014 Aquaplane City Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Alonso
4. Button
5. Hulkenberg
6. Raikkonen
7. Magnussen
8. Sutil
9. Vergne
10. Perez

Pole: Lewis
Fastest Lap: The Hulk
First Retirement: Bo77as
ROTR: Williams
IIDOTR: The Hulk
DBTMOTR: Kvyyvyyvyivkovyvivat
MLP: Mag-num PI
DNQ: Nope, just Chuck Testa

[Shizuka]

2014 Durch Den Monsun

1. Hamilton
2. Alonso
3. Vettel
4. Ricciardo
5. Rosberg
6. Button
7. Massa
8. Räikkönen
9. Bottas
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: GutSquared
ROTR: The Mexican Duo - GutSquared bins it in lap 1, Perez still can't get himself into shape and finishes outside the points, while Hulk runs in the points until his retirement
IIDOTR: Williams-Mercedes
DBTMOTR: GutSquared
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[UncreativeUsername37]

2014 Malaysian RAIN Grand Prix Ha Ha See What I Did There

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Massa
5. Magnussen
6. Button
7. Alonso
8. Raikkonen
9. Hulkenberg
10. Perez

Pole: Hamilton
F. Lap: Hamilton
First Ret: Maldonado
ROTR: Everyone involved in modern F1's unwillingness to run wet races
IIDOTR: Kobayashi
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Achille Varzi

[SeedStriker]

2014 Way Too Humid! GP

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Rosberg
4. Raikkonen
5. Massa
6. Hulkenberg
7. Perez
8. Kobayashi
9. JB
10. Gutiérrez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Mastercard Loltus
IIDOTR: Williams Martini Racing
DBTMOTR: Chilton
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Renngeist]

2014 Malaysian Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Button
5. Vettel
6. Raikkonen
7. Magnussen
8. Ricciardo
9. Alonso
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Bottas
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Grosjean
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Grosjean

[tommykl]

2014 Where the Streets Have no Rain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Bottas
3. Magnussen
4. Hamilton
5. Ricciardo
6. Alonso
7. Vettel
8. Massa
9. Hülkenberg
10. Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: Toro Rosso
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Räikkönen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: nope

[SgtPepper]

SafetyCarWinsLol Grand Prix

2014 Malaysian Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Ricciardo
5. Magnussen
6. Vettel
7. Button
8. Kimi
9. Bottas
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Ricciardo
First Retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: Maldonado
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Massa
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Maldonado (EDIT - But allowed to race)

[DOSBoot]

DOSBoot's Predictions


2014 FAN-DAM-TASTIC Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Button
4. Alonso
5. Magnussen
6. Raikkonen
7. Bottas
8. Vettel
9. Hulkenburg
10. Riccardo

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Chilton
ROTR: Marussia
IIDOTR: Alonso
DBTMOTR: Riccardo
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[go_Rubens]

go_Rubens's Predictions

2014 Race of Hotness GP

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Magnussen
5. Massa
6. Button
7. Alonso
8. Ricciardo
9. Hülkenberg
10. Kvyat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Ferrari
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Räikkönen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[dinizintheoven]

Right, I'd been wondering when this thread would be launched. And seeing as we're here...

2014 "What is David Leslie doing embarrassing himself in a Proton?" Grand Prix

1. Britney "Nico Rosberg" Spears
2. Lewis "Mr Scherzinger" Hamilton
3. Valtteri "Valerie" Bottas
4. Kevin "who's yer father" Magnussen
5. Nico "The Incredible" Hülkenberg
6. Sebastian "bring that finger anywhere near me and I'll snap it off" Vettel
7. Daniel "walking advert for new and improved Colgate Total" Ricciardo
8. Fernando "I give up!" Alonso
9. Felipe "mind that Caterham" Massa
10. Jenson "there's no grip" Button

Pole: Hamilton (but not by much)
Fastest lap: Bottas (going to be a bit like Canada last year, except this time he has a car that won't go backwards off the line)
First Retirement: Pastor "going to Team Enstone was the best move I ever made, except that one I made on Lewis at Spa" Maldolan
ROTR: The team from Enstone with Mastercard in their name... sort of
IIDOTR: Red Bull - no, seriously, IIDOTR for coming sixth and seventh, especially after the Melbourne debacle, is a measure of how far they fell over the winter...
DBTMOTR: Kimi "perkele to this for game of soldiers" Räikkönen, after an early retirement
MLP: The younger Magnussen, by default
DNQ: No. I don't think so...

Extra prediction for fun: Esteban "Gutiérrez" Gutiérrez Gutiérrez will be outqualified by at least one of the CRTs again. And maybe he'll be the one causing the start line mayhem this time, not good old Kamui.

[Klon]

Klon's Predictions
2014 THEM RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Massa
3. Räikkönen
4. Alonso
5. Vettel
6. Ricciardo
7. Kwyat
8. Bottas
9. Button
10. Pérez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Magnussen
ROTR: Hamilton's Engines (again taken out by an early failure)
IIDOTR: Kwyat (completely dominates Vergne all weekend long)
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Kwyat
DNQ: Nope

[Jocke1]

go_Rubens's Predictions

2014 Race of Hotness GP

This kind of hotness?

[go_Rubens]

go_Rubens's Predictions

2014 Race of Hotness GP

This kind of hotness?

I guess you can call it a mixed message, not only the really hot temperatures and high humidity, but you have the surrounding details as well! I guess I was acting similarly to a certain dr-baker

[watka]

2014 "What is David Leslie doing embarrassing himself in a Proton?" Grand Prix

I like this title.
At least Perodua never entered the BTCC.

[More_Blue_Flags]

More_Blue_Flags Predictions
2014 Malaysian Monsoonal and Possibly Cut Short Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Hulkenberg
3. Button
4. Magnussen
5. Rosberg
6. Alonso
7. Vettel
8. Massa
9. Ricciardo
10. Kyvat

Pole: Hamilton.
Fastest Lap: Hamilton.
First Retirement: Maldonaldo.
ROTR: Lotus. Again, neither car will look remotely like being classified, let alone getting in the points.
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg - the weather will suit the Force Indias better than the Williams and Hulkenberg's driving will be as exciting as Bottas' in Melbourne.
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen, although Perez and Gutierrez will be contenders. Massa will be looking slow and ordinary compared to Bottas until Bottas pushes too hard in the rain for the FW36 and comes off in spectacular fashion.
MLP: Magnussen.
DNQ: None, but Lotus won't be too far off 107%.

[AxelP800]

AxelP800's Predictions

2014 MH370 Memorial Grand Prix
1. Massa
2. Bottas
3. Magnussen
4. Alonso
5. Raikkonen
6. Ricciardo
7. Kvyat
8. BIANCHI
9. KOBAYASHI
10. Sutil

Pole: Hamilton.
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Mercedes (team) - Both engine seizes after 3 laps
IIDOTR: Bottas - Super many overtakings
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez - Slow as anonymous
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Lotus (both)

[the Masked Lapwing]

TMLW's predictions
2014 GP of Clear Skies

1. Ricciardo
2. Button
3. Vettel
4. Alonso
5. Bottas
6. Magnussen
7. Massa
8. Perez
9. Vergne
10. Raikkonen

Pole: Vettel
FLAP: Vettel
First DNF: Rosberg
ROTR: Mercedes
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[dr-baker]

MH370 Memorial Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Bottas
4. Magnussen
5. Massa
6. Button
7. Grosjean
8. Alonso
9. Raikkonen
10. Vergne

Pole: Hamilton
FL: Rosberg
First DNF: Maldonado
ROTR: Red Bull
IIDOTR: Grosjean
DBTMOTR: Maldonado
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Maldonado

[FMecha]

2014 "370 Means I'm Going To Hell For That Since It's Way Too Soon" Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Bottas
3. Magnussen
4. Raikkonen
5. Grosjean
6. Sutil
7. Alonso
8. Kyvat
9. Hamilton
10. Chilton

Pole: Magnussen
FL: Rosberg
First DNF: Maldonado
ROTR: Whine & Bullshits Racing (Red Bull - fuel flow still at illegal rates, DSQing Vettel and Ricciardo which actually had a fine drive, followed by the team being banned for few next races, much like BAR in 2005 )
IIDOTR: Chilton
DBTMOTR: Maldonado
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Number of survivors of the fateful MH370 flights (possibly)

[Jocke1]

Maldolan

Where/when did this originate?

[dr-baker]

Maldolan

Where/when did this originate?

It's been around a while, but I still haven't jumped on that bandwagon/don't fully get it.

[dinizintheoven]

I don't "read" (for want of a better word) the original source of the joke, but somehow, it stuck... in much the same way I've kept on referring to that Italian football team that play in black and white as Rubentus.

[Londoner]

East Londoner's Predictions

2014 Playing game with the changing clocks Grand Prix

1. Bo77as (I believe!)
2. Hamilton
3. Magnussen
4. Button
5. Rosberg
6. Massa
7. Alonso
8. Perez
9. Vettel
10. Grosjean

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Massa
First retirement: Ricciardo (Red Bull ensure that Ricky gets the engine that Vettel had in Melbourne, and it does the exact same thing as it did two weeks earlier )
ROTR: Sauber (Yeah, they collide. And they were miles from the points)
IIDOTR: Bo77as (hangs onto Hamilton and a slight cock-up at the Mercedes pit leaves the way clear for a popular first victory)
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen (not at all comfortable at any point in the weekend, eventually the turbo gives up)
MLP: K-Mag
DNQ: Nada

[Meatwad]

Meatwad's predictions

2014 Malaysian Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Button
4. Vettel
5. Alonso
6. Magnussen
7. Ricciardo
8. Bottas
9. Massa
10. Räikkönen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Gutiérrez
ROTR: Renault
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Maldonado
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Dj_bereta]

1. Rosberg
2. Magnussen
3. Massa
4. Ricciardo
5. Button
6. Bottas
7. Alonso
8. Hulkenberg
9. Perez
10. Kobayashi

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Hamilton
ROTR: Hamilton (Another bad start + crashes with Maldonado)
IIDOTR: Kobayashi (A deserved point!)
DBTMOTR: Vettel
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Enforcer]

1) Hamilton
2) Button
3) Rosberg
4) Alonso
5) Vettel
6) Massa
7) Magnussen
8) Perez
9) Ricciardo
10) Bottas

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Button
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Raikkonen
IIDOTR: Kobayashi
DBTMOTR: Perez (yes, I put him in the points with Hulkenberg nowhere to be found, but I'm spread betting)
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Ataxia]

Ataxia's Predictions
2014 Lumpy Koala Grand Prix

1) Hamilton
2) Rosberg
3) Massa
4) Alonso
5) Bottas
6) Magnussen
7) Kvyat
8) Hulkenberg
9) Raikkonen
10) Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Massa
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Vettel
IIDOTR: Kvyat
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[GwilymJJames]

2014 Weather Forecasting Grand Prix

1. Button
2. Rosberg
3. Massa
4. Bottas
5. Hamilton
6. Vergne
7. Magnussen
8. Vettel
9. Raikkonen
10. Perez

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: Lotus
IIDOTR: Vergne
DBTMOTR: Kvyat
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Alextrax52]

2014 Petronas GP

1 Bottas
2 Rosberg
3 Button
4 Magnussen
5 Massa
6 Vettel
7 Raikkonen
8 Vergne
9 Hulkenberg
10 Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Hamilton/Alonso (Repeat their 2011 clash with both out this time)
ROTR: Hamilton (Weaves aggressively in the clash)
IIDOTR: Bottas (Wins from 9th on the grid)
DBTMOTR: Kvyat (14th and 35 seconds off Vergne)
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: The percent that I love curling (0%)

[Londoner]

DNQ: The percent that I love curling (0%)

Just for that, you're getting a penalty.