... if Formula One used the NASCAR points system

[Aislabie]

So the NASCAR points system is a silly, silly thing. It's something that we all just kind of assume without looking into it, because to look into it we'd have to look into NASCAR and that's a decidedly stressful endeavour for anyone who likes order and common sense.

But what if someone was daft enough to make their point by trying to apply their points system to our beloved Formula One?

First of all, The Playoff System, by which NASCAR ensures that every Championship battle goes down to the final race of the season, regardless of how wildly illogical that may be. In NASCAR, the playoffs run for the final ten races, which is roughly a third of the Championship season. For the Formula One playoffs, we will have them run for the final seven races, which is a third of the Formula One season. It has four parts: the Round of Sixteen lasts two rounds, after which the bottom four drivers are eliminated. The same thing happens after the Round of Twelve and the Round of Eight, which leaves The Final Four to do battle for the Championship title in the final race of the season at Abu Dhabi.

2019 Formula One Calendar:

Regular Season

1. Australian Grand Prix
2. Bahrain Grand Prix
3. Chinese Grand Prix
4. Azerbaijan Grand Prix
5. Spanish Grand Prix
6. Monaco Grand Prix
7. Canadian Grand Prix
8. French Grand Prix
9. Austrian Grand Prix
10. British Grand Prix
11. German Grand Prix
12. Hungarian Grand Prix
13. Belgian Grand Prix
14. Italian Grand Prix
    
    Round of Sixteen
15. Singapore Grand Prix
16. Russian Grand Prix
    
    Round of Twelve
17. Japanese Grand Prix
18. Mexican Grand Prix
    
    Round of Eight
19. United States Grand Prix
20. Brazilian Grand Prix
    
    Final Four
21. Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

However, understanding the playoff system is just one piece in the puzzle. Next step, the points system - something so complicated that I literally couldn't build a working, aesthetically pleasing spreadsheet to account for it in its entirety.

[Aislabie]

The NASCAR points system doesn't make very much sense.

First up, Stage Racing is a thing. It's so successful that it exists in precisely no other motorsport series anywhere in the world. The idea is that it rewards drivers who drive well throughout the race, but get binned off by some redneck who's decided to turn them up into a superspeedway wall. F1 doesn't have many rednecks, or superspeedway walls, or stage points. But if it did, this is how they would work:

• Stage One comprises the first 30% of the race distance. At Melbourne, it occurs after 17 laps.
• Stage Two is the same length as Stage One. So at Melbourne, it occurs after 34 laps.
• Stage Three completes the race distance. So at Melbourne, it will occur at the end of the 58th and final lap. Invariably, Stage Three is the longest of the stages.

At the end of Stage One and Stage Two, points are assigned as follows:

1. 10 points
2. 9 points
3. 8 points
4. 7 points
5. 6 points
6. 5 points
7. 4 points
8. 3 points
9. 2 points
10. 1 point
    Stage Winners also carry forward one point to their points tally for the Playoffs.

At the end of the race, points are assigned as follows:

1. 40 points
2. 35 points
3. 34 points
4. 33 points
5. 32 points
6. 31 points
7. 30 points
8. 29 points
9. 28 points
10. 27 points
11. 26 points
12. 25 points
13. 24 points
14. 23 points
15. 22 points
16. 21 points
17. 20 points
18. 19 points
19. 18 points
20. 17 points
    In NASCAR this points system carries on to far lower positions, but this Formula One season only has a twenty-car grid.
    All cars are classified, regardless of whether they finish the race. So if Romain Grosjean were to bin his Haas on the opening lap, he would be classified in 20th place.
    Also, race winners carry an extra five points into their playoff tally.

At the start of each round of the Playoffs, a points reset occurs. At the start of the Round of Sixteen, drivers are set onto 2,000 plus their bonus points for race and stage wins. At the start of the Round of Twelve, drivers are reset onto 3,000 plus their bonus points for race and stage wins. At the start of the Round of Eight, drivers are reset onto 4,000 plus their bonus points for race and stage wins. And at the start of the Final Four, drivers are reset onto 5,000 without any bonus points, ensuring that the leading finisher of the Final Four wins the Championship.

To add an extra layer of complexity, the real life NASCAR Championship re-resets eliminated drivers' points to 2,000 plus their bonus points for race and stage wins in the regular season, plus all points earned for post-season races. In effect, this creates a three-tier Championship with the top four, then the next twelve, then whoever's left.

I hate it. Passionately. Especially (but not only) the five different points resets; it is also possible for the sixteenth place finisher to outscore the race winner in the unlikely event that the former won the first two stages and the latter did not score.

But so long as that's all clear as mud, let's get started.

[Aislabie]

Hello and welcome to the Australian Grand Prix!

Normally for a Championship like this, I'd put a bunch of words, but this is going to be purely a numbers exercise. So let's just get onto that.

Stage One Results (after 17 laps)

1. Valtteri Bottas - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Max Verstappen - 9 points
3. Charles Leclerc - 8 points
4. Lewis Hamilton - 7 points
5. Sebastian Vettel - 6 points
6. Lance Stroll - 5 points
7. Daniil Kvyat - 4 points
8. Pierre Gasly - 3 points
9. Antonio Giovinazzi - 2 points
10. Kevin Magnussen - 1 point

Stage Two Results (After 34 laps)

1. Valtteri Bottas - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Lewis Hamilton - 9 points
3. Max Verstappen - 8 points
4. Sebastian Vettel - 7 points
5. Charles Leclerc - 6 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 5 points
7. Kevin Magnussen - 4 points
8. Nico Hulkenberg - 3 points
9. Kimi Raikkonen - 2 points
10. Lance Stroll - 1 point

Race Results (After 58 laps)

1. Valtteri Bottas - 40 points (Total: 60) [+5 PO points]
   Valtteri Bottas qualifies for the Round of Sixteen as a race winner.
2. Lewis Hamilton - 35 points (Total: 51)
3. Max Verstappen - 34 points (Total: 51)
4. Sebastian Vettel - 33 points (Total: 46)
5. Charles Leclerc - 32 points (Total: 46)
6. Kevin Magnussen - 31 points (Total: 36)
7. Nico Hulkenberg - 30 points (Total: 33)
8. Kimi Raikkonen - 29 points (Total: 31)
9. Lance Stroll - 28 points (Total: 34)
10. Daniil Kvyat - 27 points (Total: 31)
11. Pierre Gasly - 26 points (Total: 34)
12. Lando Norris - 25 points
13. Sergio Perez - 24 points
14. Alexander Albon - 23 points
15. Antonio Giovinazzi - 22 points (Total: 24)
16. George Russell - 21 points
17. Robert Kubica - 20 points
18. Romain Grosjean - 19 points
19. Daniel Ricciardo - 18 points
20. Carlos Sainz - 17 points

And therefore, the Championship Standings after 1 of 14 regular season races are:

1. Valtteri Bottas - 60 points [+5 PO points]
2. Lewis Hamilton - 51 points
3. Max Verstappen - 51 points
4. Sebastian Vettel - 46 points
5. Charles Leclerc - 46 points
6. Kevin Magnussen - 36 points
7. Lance Stroll - 34 points
8. Pierre Gasly - 34 points
9. Nico Hulkenberg - 33 points
10. Kimi Raikkonen - 31 points
11. Daniil Kvyat - 31 points
12. Lando Norris - 25 points
13. Antonio Giovinazzi - 24 points
14. Sergio Perez - 24 points
15. Alexander Albon - 23 points
16. George Russell - 21 points
    - - The Elimination Zone - -
17. Robert Kubica - 20 points
18. Romain Grosjean - 19 points
19. Daniel Ricciardo - 18 points
20. Carlos Sainz - 17 points

Not doing a team classification because it's NASCAR and nobody cares. Also because doing that as well will make me have an aneurysm.

[Aislabie]

Hello and welcome to the Bahrain Grand Prix!

Stage One Results (after 17 laps)

1. Charles Leclerc - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Lewis Hamilton - 9 points
3. Sebastian Vettel - 8 points
4. Daniel Ricciardo - 7 points
5. Valtteri Bottas - 6 points
6. Max Verstappen - 5 points
7. Kimi Raikkonen - 4 points
8. Nico Hulkenberg - 3 points
9. Lando Norris - 2 points
10. Sergio Perez - 1 point

Stage Two Results (After 34 laps)

1. Charles Leclerc - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Sebastian Vettel - 9 points
3. Lewis Hamilton - 8 points
4. Valtteri Bottas - 7 points
5. Max Verstappen - 6 points
6. Lando Norris - 5 points
7. Pierre Gasly - 4 points
8. Daniel Ricciardo - 3 points
9. Nico Hulkenberg - 2 points
10. Antonio Giovinazzi - 1 point

Race Results (After 57 laps)

1. Lewis Hamilton - 40 points (Total: 57) [+5 PO points]
   Lewis Hamilton qualifies for the Round of Sixteen as a race winner.
2. Valtteri Bottas - 35 points (Total: 48)
3. Charles Leclerc - 34 points (Total: 54)
4. Max Verstappen - 33 points (Total: 44)
5. Sebastian Vettel - 32 points (Total: 49)
6. Lando Norris - 31 points (Total: 38)
7. Kimi Raikkonen - 30 points (Total: 34)
8. Pierre Gasly - 29 points (Total: 33)
9. Alexander Albon - 28 points
10. Sergio Perez - 27 points (Total: 28)
11. Antonio Giovinazzi - 26 points (Total: 27)
12. Daniil Kvyat - 25 points
13. Kevin Magnussen - 24 points
14. Lance Stroll - 23 points
15. George Russell - 22 points
16. Robert Kubica - 21 points
17. Nico Hulkenberg - 20 points (Total: 25)
18. Daniel Ricciardo - 19 points (Total: 29)
19. Carlos Sainz - 18 points
20. Romain Grosjean - 17 points

And therefore, the Championship Standings after 2 of 14 regular season races are:

1. Valtteri Bottas - 108 points [+7 PO points]
2. Lewis Hamilton - 108 points [+5 PO points]
3. Charles Leclerc - 100 points [+2 PO points]
4. Max Verstappen - 95 points
5. Sebastian Vettel - 95 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 67 points
7. Lando Norris - 63 points
8. Kevin Magnussen - 60 points
9. Nico Hulkenberg - 58 points
10. Lance Stroll - 57 points
11. Daniil Kvyat - 56 points
12. Kimi Raikkonen - 55 points
13. Sergio Perez - 52 points
14. Antonio Giovinazzi - 51 points
15. Alexander Albon - 51 points
16. Daniel Ricciardo - 47 points
    - - The Elimination Zone - -
17. George Russell - 43 points
18. Robert Kubica - 41 points
19. Romain Grosjean - 36 points
20. Carlos Sainz - 35 points

Not doing a team classification because it's NASCAR and nobody cares. Also because doing that as well will make me have an aneurysm.

I mean, I'm making this as simple as I possibly can for myself and it's still devastatingly confusing.

[Aislabie]

Hello and welcome to the Chinese Grand Prix!

Stage One Results (after 16 laps)

1. Lewis Hamilton - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 9 points
3. Sebastian Vettel - 8 points
4. Charles Leclerc - 7 points
5. Max Verstappen - 6 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 5 points
7. Daniel Ricciardo - 4 points
8. Sergio Perez - 3 points
9. Kimi Raikkonen - 2 points
10. Lance Stroll - 1 point

Stage Two Results (After 32 laps)

1. Lewis Hamilton - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 9 points
3. Sebastian Vettel - 8 points
4. Max Verstappen - 7 points
5. Charles Leclerc - 6 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 5 points
7. Daniel Ricciardo - 4 points
8. Sergio Perez - 3 points
9. Kimi Raikkonen - 2 points
10. Romain Grosjean - 1 point

Race Results (After 56 laps)

1. Lewis Hamilton - 40 points (Total: 60) [+7 PO points]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 35 points (Total: 53)
3. Sebastian Vettel - 34 points (Total: 50)
4. Max Verstappen - 33 points (Total: 46)
5. Charles Leclerc - 32 points (Total: 45)
6. Pierre Gasly - 31 points (Total: 41)
7. Daniel Ricciardo - 30 points (Total: 38)
8. Sergio Perez - 29 points (Total: 35)
9. Kimi Raikkonen - 28 points (Total: 32)
10. Alexander Albon - 27 points
11. Romain Grosjean - 26 points (Total: 27)
12. Lance Stroll - 25 points (Total: 26)
13. Kevin Magnussen - 24 points
14. Carlos Sainz - 23 points
15. Antonio Giovinazzi - 22 points
16. George Russell - 21 points
17. Robert Kubica - 20 points
18. Lando Norris - 19 points
19. Daniil Kvyat - 18 points
20. Nico Hulkenberg - 17 points

And therefore, the Championship Standings after 3 of 14 regular season races are:

1. Lewis Hamilton - 168 points [+12 PO points]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 161 points [+7 PO points]
3. Charles Leclerc - 145 points [+2 PO points]
4. Sebastian Vettel - 145 points
5. Max Verstappen - 141 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 108 points
7. Kimi Raikkonen - 87 points
8. Sergio Perez - 87 points
9. Daniel Ricciardo - 85 points
10. Kevin Magnussen - 84 points
11. Lando Norris - 82 points
12. Lance Stroll - 76 points
13. Alexander Albon - 76 points
14. Nico Hulkenberg - 75 points
15. Daniil Kvyat - 74 points
16. Antonio Giovinazzi - 73 points
    - - The Elimination Zone - -
17. George Russell - 64 points
18. Romain Grosjean - 63 points
19. Robert Kubica - 61 points
20. Carlos Sainz - 58 points

Not doing a team classification because it's NASCAR and nobody cares. Also because doing that as well will make me have an aneurysm.

Even stage points couldn't save that absolute wet tissue of a race.

[Aislabie]

Hello and welcome to the Azerbaijan Grand Prix!

Stage One Results (after 15 laps)

1. Charles Leclerc - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 9 points
3. Lewis Hamilton - 8 points
4. Sebastian Vettel - 7 points
5. Pierre Gasly - 6 points
6. Max Verstappen - 5 points
7. Sergio Perez - 4 points
8. Lando Norris - 3 points
9. Romain Grosjean - 2 points
10. Carlos Sainz - 1 point

Stage Two Results (After 30 laps)

1. Charles Leclerc - 10 points [+1 PO point]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 9 points
3. Lewis Hamilton - 8 points
4. Sebastian Vettel - 7 points
5. Max Verstappen - 6 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 5 points
7. Sergio Perez - 4 points
8. Lando Norris - 3 points
9. Carlos Sainz - 2 points
10. Daniil Kvyat - 1 point

Race Results (After 51 laps)

1. Valtteri Bottas - 40 points (Total: 58) [+5 PO points]
2. Lewis Hamilton - 35 points (Total: 51)
3. Sebastian Vettel - 34 points (Total: 48)
4. Max Veratappen - 33 points (Total: 44)
5. Charles Leclerc - 32 points (Total: 52) [+2 PO points]
6. Sergio Perez - 31 points (Total: 39)
7. Carlos Sainz - 30 points (Total: 33)
8. Lando Norris - 29 points (Total: 35)
9. Lance Stroll - 28 points
10. Kimi Raikkonen - 27 points
11. Alexander Albon - 26 points
12. Antonio Giovinazzi - 25 points
13. Kevin Magnussen - 24 points
14. Nico Hulkenberg - 23 points
15. George Russell - 22 points
16. Robert Kubica - 21 points
17. Pierre Gasly - 20 points (Total: 31)
18. Romain Grosjean - 19 points (Total: 21)
19. Daniil Kvyat - 18 points (Total: 19)
20. Daniel Ricciardo - 17 points

And therefore, the Championship Standings after 4 of 14 regular season races are:

1. Lewis Hamilton - 219 points [+12 PO points]
2. Valtteri Bottas - 219 points [+12 PO points]
3. Charles Leclerc - 197 points [+4 PO points]
4. Sebastian Vettel - 193 points
5. Max Verstappen - 185 points
6. Pierre Gasly - 139 points
7. Sergio Perez - 126 points
8. Kevin Magnussen - 118 points
9. Lando Norris - 117 points
10. Kimi Raikkonen - 114 points
11. Lance Stroll - 104 points
12. Daniel Ricciardo - 102 points
13. Alexander Albon - 102 points
14. Nico Hulkenberg - 98 points
15. Antonio Giovinazzi - 98 points
16. Daniil Kvyat - 93 points
    - - The Elimination Zone - -
17. Carlos Sainz - 91 points
18. George Russell - 86 points
19. Romain Grosjean - 84 points
20. Robert Kubica - 82 points

Not doing a team classification because it's NASCAR and nobody cares. Also because doing that as well will make me have an aneurysm.

[FortiWinks]

Just shows how unlucky Charles was at the start of the year...

[UncreativeUsername37]

It's like a worse version of the lap points championship.

[LadyMarussia295]

It looks great from a statistics point of view. Crazy to see Sainz between the lattest in the standings.