F1 Rejects Microprose Grand Prix Series: the 2012 season

[dinizintheoven]

Find ye here the thread for the 2011 season, and how it all panned out!

Without further delay, something has stirred in the F1RMGP garages, some new cars have been built (you can actually see them this time), the field has expanded slightly, and this championship should be closer than ever. We now hand over to Marktin Brundell for a run-down of the competing teams...

The F1 Rejects Microprose Grand Prix Series, 2012 season: The teams and drivers (part 1)


Team name: Formula One Rejects
Chassis: F1R-12
Engine: Life W12
Home country: Australia
Driver: 1. HWNSNBM (Hungary)
Driver: 2. Jean-Denis Délétraz (Switzerland)
Team Principals: Jamie McGregor, Enoch Law
It shouldn't have worked, should it? A team run by a couple of Aussies who make a website about unsuccessful Formula 1 drivers, a chassis of unknown origin that was probably cobbled together from bits and pieces found in a skip outside the Lola and Dallara factories and then copied by a cheeky Chinese designer and built by Geely, a customer version of the most comically awful engine ever to be built... it shouldn't have worked. But it did, and F1 Rejects scooped both titles in the 2011 F1RMGP Championship, with the legendary HWNSNBM taking the Drivers' title and being raised to the level of an emperor in his native Hungary. There's no need to change anything for the 2012 season, and the team is full of confidence. And by that I mean lager.



Team name: Super Aguri Formula One
Chassis: SA12
Engine: Honda V8
Home country: Japan
Driver: 3. Marco Apicella (Italy)
Driver: 4. Yuji Ide (Japan)
Team Principal: Aguri Suzuki
Banzai! Nobody could have predicted the resounding success of Super Aguri in last year's championship, at least in the hands of the formerly incapable Yuji Ide. He raised his game immensely from what we were used to, to score almost all of Super Aguri's points and help them to sixth in the standings. It might have been more, had it not been for the limp performance of Reject Of The Year, Kazuki Nakajima, who the team had wanted to sack midway through the season only to be told they couldn't. Marco Apicella, who waited ages for his place in this team, is the replacement, and his career in this series should last for more than one corner.



Team name: Team America F1, Bathplug Yeah!
Chassis: USA=#1again
Engine: Dodge V8
Home country: United States of America
Driver: 5. Michael Andretti (USA)
Driver: 6. Scott Speed (USA)
Team Principals: Peter Windsor, Ken Anderson, Bill Gates, Colonel Sanders, Uncle Sam
Being overtaken at the last gasp in the final race of 2011 did not sit well with the American public, who demanded change at the top on pain of loaded guns being wielded around recklessly. And so, God found himself demoted from the head of the team, and the Vice-Principals step up to the top level, with original USF1 boss Peter Windsor joining them and the Pillsbury Doughboy retiring. In a move that can only be described as a piece of fierce patriotism, the team has been renamed to Team America F1, and is looking stronger than ever. The two drivers from last season both did a sterling job that Honest Abe himself would have been proud of, and have rightly kept their drives.



Team name: EuroBrun Racing (sort of)
Chassis: ER212
Engine: Judd V10
Home country: Switzerland
Driver: 7. Enrico Bertaggia (Italy)
Driver: 8. Claudio Langes (Italy)
Team Principal: Walter Brun
Regular dropouts on the Saturday afternoon in 2011, the horribly underfunded EuroBrun team - no different from their F1 days, then - are going to struggle again. Bertaggia and Langes, strangely not put off by a whole season of toil for no reward, have signed up again, presumably seeing that a drive with a relentlessly terrible team is better than no drive at all. At least the sole sponsors will keep the party going, what little reason there will be to party...



Team name: ATS Rial Racing
Chassis: ARC-3
Engine: Ford V8
Home country: Germany
Driver: 9. Pierre-Henri Raphanel (France)
Driver: 10. Volker Weidler (Germany)
Team Principal: Günther "Achtung!" Schmidt
That's right, Mad Günther is back with a new F1 car for a stab at the 2012 F1RMGP series! Figuring his reconstituted team couldn't be any worse than the EuroBruns whose numbers he took over (although he fought for 21/22 with Osella and 38/39 with Life), the German who makes Michael Schumacher at Spa in 1998 look like a hippy makes no promises except to be heard shouting above the noise of 38 F1 engines all going out together in qualifying. Former Rial driver Volker "was sagst du?" Weidler is unlikely to be troubled by the ranting and raving of his boss, even if he comes dead last in qualifying, although Pierre-Henri Raphanel may soon be wondering what he's dropped himself into and why he left Monteverdi. As for the car, Mad Günther decided to combine the colour schemes of his two old teams into what can only be described as a dog's breakfast washed down with meths.

[dinizintheoven]

The F1 Rejects Microprose Grand Prix Series, 2012 season: The teams and drivers (part 2)


Team name: Fondmetal Team Malaysia
Chassis: FTM129
Engine: Renault V8
Home country: Malaysia
Driver: 11. Andrea Montermini (Italy)
Driver: 12. Fairuz Fauzy (Malaysia)
Team Principal: Tony Fernandes
Distracted by the pressures of creating a team from scratch only to become embroiled in a lawsuit over its name, Tony Fernandes has taken the easy way out and done what Dany Bahar did before him - take over an existing team. In a blazing twist of irony, it is Pacific that he has had his sights on, possibly as a means of revenge for "Pacific Team Lotus" dragging Colin Chapman's once-proud squad through the mud in 1995. The car bears a striking resemeblance livery-wise to the Lotus T128, but Sir Bernard has objected to the team being called Lotus, and so the boss has gone with Fondmetal Team Malaysia instead, suggested by the team principals of F1 Rejects, even though they were joking. Whether this team will fare any better than the one not quite reaching the competition in F1, we will see... with Fairuz Fauzy on board, would you put a bet on them?



Team name: Stefan Grand Prix
Chassis: S-02
Engine: Toyota V8
Home country: Serbia
Driver: 13. Kazuki Nakajima (Japan)
Driver: 14. Jacques Villeneuve (Canada)
Team Principal: Zoran Stefanovic
So, Zoran Stefanovic gets his dream - sort of, as Stefan Grand Prix prepare to compete in the 2012 F1RMGP series. After being sacked by Super Aguri, Kazuki Nakajima gratefully charged into Stefan's welcoming embrace, to be teamed with the other favoured driver, Jacques Villeneuve, who nobody likes. Despite the Toyota engine, and all the other bits and pieces that have been swiped from the defunct F1 team's skip, it looks unlikely that this team will make much of an impact. And that's nothing to do with Nakajima's car being the first F1 car to take the number 13 since Divina Galica back in 1976.



Team name: Forti Corse
Chassis: FG05
Engine: Ford do Brasil straight-4
Home country: Brazil
Driver: 15. Luca Badoer (Italy)
Driver: 16. Pedro Diniz (Brazil)
Team Principal: Guido Forti, Pedro Diniz
Forti was horribly unsuccessful last season - just like the F1 team of 1995. Hope springs eternal for this second attempt, though, as the car is reported to be far faster, Ford do Brasil have managed to extract more power from the in-house straight-4, and Petrobras have supplied a new bio-ethanol fuel that they call "João's Jungle Juice". Emanuele Naspetti may have left the team after last year's fiasco, but never fear, Pedro Diniz saves the day by electing to drive and manage the team. He'd just better hope the new fuel doesn't set the car on fire.



Team name: Automobiles Gonfaronaises Sportives
Chassis: JH29
Engine: MGN W12
Home country: France
Driver: 17. Gabriele Tarquini (Italy)
Driver: 18. Joachim Winkelhock (Germany)
Team Principal: Henri Julien
AGS were another team who had a nightmare 2011, and Henri Julien figured he had nothing to lose if the whole team changed almost beyond recognition. Ted Lapidus has died (although his clothing company lives on), Fabrizio Barbazza left of his own accord, François Hesnault was dismissed for driving a crane through the pit wall at Paul Ricard in the close season, so the dream team of 1989, now with four Touring Car titles between them, have been recalled to drive the new JH29 with its... "revolutionary" W12 engine, the one that emerged before Life made theirs, but which has been heavily updated by Guy Nègre. What will become of the team from the shed in the south of France?



Team name: Scunthorpe United Team Toleman
Chassis: TG212
Engine: Renault V8
Home country: United Kingdom
Driver: 19. Chris Dagnall (UK)
Driver: 20. Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn (Switzerland)
Team Principals: Ted Toleman, Steven Wharton
Ted Toleman never forgot Ralf Schumacher's catastrophic clanger at Phoenix last year, and when the season finished to leave Ralf as the only driver who scored points that also clocked up a DNQ, he was given the boot. Unfortunately, that lost the team a lot of money. Nelson Piquet Jr. was also shown the door after crashing deliberately during the first test session for the new car, having been asked to do so by Flavio Briatore's pet gerbil. The team was saved by a bizarre link-up with Scunthorpe United Football Club, whose star striker, Chris Dagnall, has long been rumoured to be a wizard behind the wheel. He takes Ralf's seat; Barry McGuigan was considered for the other one, but in a mirroring of events in F1, the gravel-voiced Frenchman who works in a bank, Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn, has been signed instead. Grrrrjjjjnnn honours the legendary Swiss driver, Jean-Denis Délétraz, by racing under a Swiss flag, and his bank is said to be sponsoring Scunthorpe United for the 2012-13 season, which filters through to the Toleman F1RMGP team. Note also a mysterious extra sponsor known only as "Wizzie" who has promised to give away free popcorn, should Daggers win the championship - which, in this car, is not beyond the realms of possibility. The future's bright; the future's claret and blue.

[dinizintheoven]

The F1 Rejects Microprose Grand Prix Series, 2012 season: The teams and drivers (part 3)


Team name: Osella Squadra Corse
Chassis: FA1L mk.III
Engine: Alfa Romeo flat-12
Home country: Italy
Driver: 21. Piercarlo Ghinzani (Italy)
Driver: 22. Andrea Chiesa (Switzerland)
Team Principal: Enzo Osella
It was in the rules: two cars for the 2012 season, or get knotted. The Other Enzo may live to regret his decision to go ahead with a two-car team rather than pull out altogether; the FA1L mk.III is, as the name implies, merely an evolution of last year's car with the same reticent flat-12 engine, and now the resources have to be split in half. It is going to be a long, hard slog ahead for the team that never saw that chassis designation coming, and yet again the car may live up to its name...



Team name: Minardi F1 Team
Chassis: PS07
Engine: Motori Moderni V6 turbo
Home country: Italy
Driver: 23. Pierluigi Martini (Italy)
Driver: 24. Alex Yoong (Malaysia)
Team Principals: Giancarlo Minardi, Paul Stoddart
For Pierluigi Martini, it's another season in the hotseat of his favourite Italian F1(RMGP) team, reinforced with that extra Aussie grit that Paul "Motormouth" Stoddart brings with him. Unfortunately, Johnny Carwash's money ran out, and he's been dispatched to... wash cars (what else?) while one of F1's most legendary rejects takes his seat. Thing is, Alex Yoong started getting good while he was racing in A1GP, so maybe this rehashed Minardi team with a hint of Malaysian flavour could be one to watch?



Nom d'équipe: Allez Les Bleus! Prost Formule Un
Chassis: AP07
Moteur: Peugeot V10
Pays domicile: France
Pilote: 25. Olivier Grouillard (France)
Pilote: 26. Philippe Alliot (France)
Principaux d'Équipe: Alain Prost, Charles de Gaulle, Napoléon Bonaparte
(Note: the Prost team refused to give a statement. They just muttered something incomprehensible in French, then put La Marseillaise on repeat play at a volume that could have drowned out an atom bomb.)



Team name: Viking Racing
Chassis: MJØLNER-01
Engine: Koenigsegg twin-supercharged V8
Home country: Norway
Driver: 27. Jan Magnussen (Denmark)
Driver: 28. Þorvaldur Einarsson (Iceland)
Team Principals: Odin, Stefan Johansson, Ragnar the Forkbearded
Messrs Villeneuve (senior), Hunt and Ferrari have retreated to Motor Racing Valhalla, but in their place, bursting through the Golden Gates of the real Valhalla comes Viking Racing, wielding an axe and a supercharged Swedish engine that allegedly runs on mead. Boasting a resplendent gold car and every Scandinavian sponsor the team can get their hands on, they are ready to pillage the paddock, set it on fire and steal all the trophies. Stefan Johansson runs the team, legendary Danish reject Jan Magnussen is the lead driver, with the previously unknown Icelander, Þorvaldur Einarsson, as his wingman. Þorvaldur may not be experienced, but he does sport the biggest beard ever seen in all of motor racing history. Don't get in this team's way!



Team name: Mastercard Lola
Chassis: T12/30
Engine: Ford V8
Home country: United Kingdom
Driver: 29. Vincenzo Sospiri (Italy)
Driver: 30. Allan McNish (UK)
Team Principals: Eric Broadley, Martin Birrane
Never ones to be put off by previous failure, Lola are back for another attempt after a not particularly successful 2011. The T12/30 still looks a bit like its hateful predecessor from 1997, and another piece of their history comes back to haunt them as Allan McNish, test driver of the never-raced and airboxless T95/30, steps in to replace the sacked Ricardo Rosset. The Scot is a capable driver, but this car is reported to be in much the same league as Toyota's TF101 hack car that he also spent a year testing. Who knows if Mastercard will desert the ship again if it sinks for the second time...

[dinizintheoven]

The F1 Rejects Microprose Grand Prix Series, 2012 season: The teams and drivers (part 4)


Team name: Simtek Research F1
Chassis: S121
Engine: Ford V8
Home country: United Kingdom
Driver: 32. Taki Inoue (Japan)
Driver: 33. Paul Belmondo (France)
Team Principal: Nick Wirth
Vice Principals: Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson, Agnetha Fältskog
Simtek had a cracking season in 2011, finishing a highly commendable fourth in the standings, beating Toleman and with Slim Borgudd collecting a win at Imola. It might be a bit harder now, though, with the Swede departing to drum for Björn Again on their latest world tour; his replacement, Paul Belmondo, did occasionally put in some good performances for Pacific last year. The Swedish presence has moved from the track to the boardroom, with all four members of ABBA being announced as Team Vice Principals. Simtek's target for this season is, of course, another win, but to beat Fondmetal Team Malaysia will be another of their ambitions, given the rivalry between the other teams Nick Wirth and Tony Fernandes are involved with.



Team name: Scuderia Andrea Coloni
Chassis: SAC6
Engine: Judd V10
Home country: Italy
Driver: 34. Pedro Matos Chaves (Portugal)
Driver: 35. Perry McCarthy (UK)
Team Principals: Andrea Sassetti, Enzo Coloni
And so, the gods of racing did look down on two of the least successful teams ever to make a half-arsed attempt at Formula One, and they declared that the two should merge their resources into one fabulous pile of rejectfulness. The merger was approved, and they saw that it was good. As was the case with EuroBrun, two more cylinders were added to the Judd engine, and they saw that it was even better. Now enjoy the ride!



Team name: Montverdi Onyx Grand Prix
Chassis: ORE-4
Engine: Chrysler V8
Home country: Switzerland
Driver: 36. Gregor Foitek (Switzerland)
Driver: 37. Fabrizio Barbazza (Italy)
Team Principals: Bertrand Gachot, a gold-framed picture of Peter Monteverdi, a police mugshot of Jean-Pierre van Rossem
What is it about Switzerland and reject drivers? And why could nobody tempt Alain Menu from tin-tops to join their ranks? Never mind that, the team that could have been spectacularly successful but wasn't is back for another go, buoyed by the success of scraping onto the scoreboard at the end of the 2011 season. PHR may have decamped to ATS Rial (more fool him), but in his place comes Fabrizio Barbazza, who will be hoping for a lot more than the dreadful hand he was dealt at AGS. The engine is the same as what powered USGP almost to both titles last year, just with a different badge, and for those who need any more proof that this team's ambitions are as big as their drivers' hair, they even tried to coax Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn away from Toleman to be their official test driver. This lot should be worth watching.



Team name: Life Racing Engines
Chassis: L212
Engine: Life W12
Home country: Italy
Driver: 38. Gary Brabham (Australia)
Driver: 39. Bruno Giacomelli (Italy)
Team Principal: Ernesto Vita
There were points early in the 2011 season, but as the days drew on, this team withdrew backwards, if not quite as far as the original Limping Life of 1990. At least the L211 managed to be something more than an interesting flowerpot. F1 Rejects may have used their engine to championship-winning effect, but for this bunch of tail-end Charlies, there is a new challenge: beating the other home-brew W12, that of Moteurs Guy Nègre powering the AGS team. The fight will be fierce, it might end in tears, but will those tears be Italian or French? Or maybe, if this team loses that battle, the tears will be Albanian, given where the new source of sponsorship has come from...


And now, prepare yourselves. For tomorrow, we dine... IN PHOENIX!

[TomWazzleshaw]

This could quite possibly be the single most epic thread in history

[tommykl]

As if the 2011 season wasn't already the single most epic thread of the past, present, AND FUTCHUHRE!!

[TomWazzleshaw]

As if the 2011 season wasn't already the single most epic thread of the past, present, AND FUTCHUHRE!!

The 2011 season thread was the FORMER single most epic thread on the forum. The 2012 season has all the hallmarks of being more epic than a battle between Chuck Norris and Andrea De Cesaris.

[tommykl]

As if the 2011 season wasn't already the single most epic thread of the past, present, AND FUTCHUHRE!!

The 2011 season thread was the FORMER single most epic thread on the forum. The 2012 season has all the hallmarks of being more epic than a battle between Chuck Norris and Andrea De Cesaris.

No, right now, it's the second most epic. It'll become first at mid-season and unbeatable at the season closer. The only thread who could ever dethrone it then should only be the 2013 season.

[dinizintheoven]

This could quite possibly be the single most epic thread in history

I should hope so, after all the time I took drawing those cars!

Incidentally, both cars for each team are uploaded to the containing folder. So, where you see Chris Dagnall's #19 car in this thread: http://www.rickdangerous.co.uk/f1reject ... 012_19.png
You can also see Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn's car as well: http://www.rickdangerous.co.uk/f1reject ... 012_20.png

And I've worked out an ingenious system whereby a game that only runs 34 cars can deal with a 38-car field. I'll not let you all know just yet - but I had a few trials with the system and it's going to keep everything so interesting that even ADx_Wales won't be able to complain.

Talking of ADx_Wales, I'll also be running an Apertura championship for this season, and the seedings so far are:

(1) HWNSNBM
(NA) G. Villeneuve - gone back to Valhalla
(2) Andretti
(3) Speed
(4) Délétraz
(NA) Hunt - gone back to Valhalla
(NA) Piquet - sacked
(NA) Borgudd - on tour with Björn Again
(5) Inoue
(6) Ide
(NA) Schumacher - sacked again
(7) Belmondo
(8) Montermini
(9) Nakajima
(10) Giacomelli
(11) Martini
(NA) Carwash - doing what his name suggests
(12) Foitek
(13) Brabham
And the last three seeds, we will see when the qualifying in Phoenix gets underway.

[DemocalypseNow]

The team was saved by a bizarre link-up with Scunthorpe United Football Club, whose star striker, Chris Dagnall, has long been rumoured to be a wizard behind the wheel.

Finally, someone else noticed!!!
But I think you'll find the Daggers are in fact Dagenham & Redbridge, wrong nickname there

[shinji]

The team was saved by a bizarre link-up with Scunthorpe United Football Club, whose star striker, Chris Dagnall, has long been rumoured to be a wizard behind the wheel.

Finally, someone else noticed!!!
But I think you'll find the Daggers are in fact Dagenham & Redbridge, wrong nickname there

I noticed watching Soccer Saturday (don't judge me) a while ago, thought it rather odd. Aerond said there's a reason, I'm sure we'll find out some day.

[dinizintheoven]

But I think you'll find the Daggers are in fact Dagenham & Redbridge, wrong nickname there

I was referring to Wizzie promising to hand out free popcorn if Chris "Daggers" Dagnall wins the F1RMGP title, as opposed to Dagenham & Redbridge winning whatever division it is they're playing in now, which Wizzie probably doesn't care about.

I am in the middle of some serious video editing (evidence here - there should be eight videos in the Metieval Requiem block when I'm done, and that event took up my whole weekend bar the Chinese GP), but some time within the next 24 hours, the season will kick off. Brace yourselves!

[dinizintheoven]

Round 1: Phoenix, USA
Saturday, 10 March 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'30.490
2 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'31.054
3 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'32.512
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'32.559
5 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'32.862
6 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'32.953
7 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'33.485
8 –   39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'33.742
9 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'33.750
10 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'34.104
11 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'34.236
12 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'34.282
13 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'34.326

Code: Select all

14 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'34.370
15 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'34.625
16 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'34.686
17 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'35.166
18 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'35.167
19 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'35.438
20 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'35.696
21 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'36.007
22 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'36.356
23 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'36.524
24 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'36.670
25 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'36.757
26 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           1'36.882

Code: Select all

DNQ – 24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'37.104
DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'37.556
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'37.596
DNQ – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'37.597
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'37.598
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'37.674
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'38.043
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'38.117
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'38.163
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'38.304
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'38.391
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           no time

(Actually, that works out very well: with each code block displaying 13 lines, that's the top half of the grid in one block, the bottom half in the second, and the DNQs in the third!)

First blood to Team America, much as the case was last season, with the immediate challenge taken up by Jan Magnussen of the new Viking Racing team, with Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn and Jean-Denis Délétraz aiming to prove their continued worth. It's a good showing from Super Aguri, with AGS, Life, Forti and Lola all managing to get a car near the front after some tumultuous times last year. Decent performance from the Monteverdis, a worrying slide down the field from last year for Simtek, and a mysterious failure for reigning champion HWNSNBM. Chris Dagnall is also at the wrong end of the grid, though as a newbie I think we can let him off this once. With 12 cars not making the cut this year, there will be no presence in this race for Stefan, Minardi and ATS Rial.

With this qualifying session, the three final seeds for the Apertura are:
(14) Magnussen
(15) Grrrrjjjjnnn
(16) Tarquini


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    2h 15'36.903
2 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     2h 15'53.054
3 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          2h 16'35.955
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        2h 16'57.964
5 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     + 1 lap
6 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
7 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap            
8 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
9 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
10 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           + 2 laps            
11 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 2 laps            
12 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         + 2 laps            
13 –  27 J. Magnussen      Viking         + 2 laps

Code: Select all

14 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 2 laps            
15 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   + 2 laps            
16 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 2 laps            
17 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 2 laps            
18 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 2 laps            
19 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            + 3 laps            
20 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 3 laps            
21 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 3 laps            
22 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       + 4 laps            
23 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           DNF            
24 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         DNF            
25 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          DNF            
26 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     DNF

BANZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! IDE-SAN WA FORMURA ICHI WINNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER DESU! (and other trousers-on-fire excited Japanese commentary...) Now, I'll bet nobody saw that coming, because I certainly didn't, and not even Délétraz in the mighty F1 Rejects in-house car could stop the rampant Samurai warrior. HWNSNBM staged a magnificent recovery from so far back on the grid to score some valuable points for his title defence, but couldn't stay on the lead lap - unlike Pedro Diniz, whose return to driving has netted him a podium first time out, to his utter joy, and Luca Badoer also scored for Forti. That's a seriously improved car on last year. Þorvaldur Einarsson had a quiet (for a Viking) afternoon but picked up his first points where Jan Magnussen fell away, Marco Apicella already looks to be a better team mate for Ide than Nakajima ever was, and Bruno Giacomelli in the Life rounds out the points. Team America are going to be sorely disappointed with a such a paltry return after dominating in qualifying - to have destroyed the field by as much as they did, for Scott Speed to finish 15th behind the only Andrea Coloni to qualify, and two laps down on the leader, nets him Reject Of The Race. I would say it's business as usual at the back, but really the only non-surprise was Enrico Bertaggia in the reticent EuroBrun finishing four laps behind; Sospiri and Tarquini qualified high enough to have expected more.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    25
2 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     18
3 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          15
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        12
5 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     10
6 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          8
7 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         6
8 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   4
9 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    2
10 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   F1 Rejects     28
2 –   Super Aguri    27
3 –   Forti          23
4 –   Toleman        12
5 –   Viking         6
6 –   Team America   4
7 –   Life           1

APERTURA: FIRST ROUND
(1) HWNSNBM (5th) v (16) Tarquini (21st)
(2) Andretti (8th) v (15) Grrrrjjjjnnn (4th)
(3) Speed (15th) v (14) Magnussen (13th)
(4) Délétraz (2nd) v (13) Brabham (DNF)
(5) Inoue (11th) v (12) Foitek (16th)
(6) Ide (1st) v (11) Martini (DNQ)
(7) Belmondo (DNF) v (10) Giacomelli (10th)
(8) Montermini (DNQ, 33rd) v (9) Nakajima (DNQ, 32nd)

Quarter Finals line-up:
(1) HWNSNBM v (9) Nakajima
(15) Grrrrjjjjnnn v (10) Giacomelli
(14) Magnussen v (6) Ide
(4) Délétraz v (5) Inoue

[TomWazzleshaw]

Dagnall outqualified HWNSNBM... I'm amazed the world didn't simply explode as soon as that happened.

[dinizintheoven]

Round 2: Interlagos, Brazil
Saturday, 24 March 2012

...that's right, this series is held on Saturday afternoons, with qualifying on the Friday. Apparently it's because HWNSNBM demanded to have Sundays kept clear so he could go back to his penthouse in Soho (complete with its own helipad on top of the tower) and watch re-runs of Scrapheap Challenge on More4. Which he personally ordered More4 to show.

THE GRID

Code: Select all

1 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'22.782
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'23.993
3 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'24.743
4 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'24.834
5 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'24.871
6 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'24.989
7 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'25.154
8 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'25.289
9 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'25.924
10 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'26.090
11 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'26.214
12 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'26.465
13 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'26.630

Code: Select all

14 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'26.719
15 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'26.754
16 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'26.839
17 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'26.874
18 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'27.049
19 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'27.175
20 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'27.179
21 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'27.258
22 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'27.632
23 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'27.636
24 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'27.889
25 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'28.095
26 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'28.101

Code: Select all

DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'28.129
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'28.139
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'28.211
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'28.260
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'28.429
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'28.470
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'28.639
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'28.766
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'28.885
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'29.392
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'29.679
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'30.192

Toleman are on top. A superb showing from Rrrrrmmmnnn Grrrrjjjjnnn to beat the rest of the field by over a second, and his teammate by two seconds - who still ended up fourth. It's also a fine performance from the much-improved Forti team, Viking Racing there or there abouts, F1 Rejects keeping the front of the grid in sight, but a mixed bag from Team America and a horrible split in Super Aguri - with Yuji Ide winning the last race, what's he doing down in 24th and flirting with sitting out the race? In the second half of the grid, Minardi make their first appearance of the season, qualifying both cars; FTM, Osella, EuroBrun and Lola lose one car each, while it's a double failure for Prost, Life, Stefan andf ATS Rial, the latter two teams yet to get into this race this season, or at all, given that neither were competing last year. Allan McNish is dead last, but at least managed to set a time.


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1h 48'50.788
2 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 49'07.548
3 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   1h 50'09.146
4 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 1 lap
5 –  27 J. Magnussen      Viking         + 1 lap
6 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   + 1 lap
7 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap
8 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     + 1 lap
9 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 1 lap
10 – 21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         + 1 lap
11 – 33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap
12 – 19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 1 lap
13 – 4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 – 17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 1 lap
15 – 18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 2 laps
16 – 16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 2 laps
17 – 2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 2 laps
18 – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 2 laps
19 – 34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 2 laps
20 – 15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 2 laps
21 – 24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 2 laps
22 – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        + 2 laps
23 – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       + 3 laps
24 – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 3 laps
25 – 32 T. Inoue          Simtek         DNF
26 – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF

...it's a great day to have big hair! Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn does what his less-than-capable predecessor could never do, and take a win for Toleman; Fabrizio Barbazza goes on what can only be called an Infinite Improbability Drive to take fourth in a Monteverdi that was only good for a single points finish last season; he may have been a lap down, but where did that come from? Marco Apicella, in second, steps up to the plate for Super Aguri, Ide being able to do very little from his lowly grid position; Apicella is already proving himself to be far more useful to the team than the hopeless Kazuki Nakajima, now in his rightful position in a hopeless team that has packed up and gone by the end of Friday on both occasions so far. Team America and Viking were always expected to be in the points, though why Dagnall and Délétraz faded so badly to finish only 12th and 17th respectively is a mystery. Extra shouts go to Vincenzo Sospiri and Piercarlo Ghinzani, scoring valuable points for Lola and Osella; the declining pace of Simtek can only be a worry for Nick Wirth. No points for Forti, Scuderia Andrea Coloni or Minardi, even though both cars finished, and a dishonourable mention to the Reject Of The Race who is Gregor Foitek! Dead last, three laps down, hence lapped at least once by everyone except Enrico Bertaggia in the EuroBrun, and all this in a car that was good for fourth place and 12 points in his team mate's hands! His face will be redder than the Swiss flag after that one, and he'll probably wish he was in prison with Jean-Pierre van Rossem.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        37
2 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    25
3 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    20
4 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   19
5 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     18
6 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          15
7 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     14
8 =  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         12
8 =  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     12
10 – 27 J. Magnussen      Viking         10
11 = 15 L. Badoer         Forti          8
11 = 6  S. Speed          Team America   8
13 – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2

Code: Select all

14 = 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
14 = 21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   Super Aguri    45
2 –   Toleman        37
3 –   F1 Rejects     32
4 –   Team America   27
5 –   Forti          23
6 –   Viking         22
7 –   Monteverdi     12
8 –   Lola           2
9 =   Life           1
9 =   Osella         1

APERTURA: QUARTER FINALS
(1) HWNSNBM (8th) v (9) Nakajima (DNQ)
(15) Grrrrjjjjnnn (1st) v (10) Giacomelli (DNQ) - and victories don't come any bigger than that!
(14) Magnussen (5th) v (6) Ide (13th)
(4) Délétraz (17th) v (5) Inoue (DNF)

Semi Finals line-up:
(1) HWNSNBM v (4) Délétraz
(15) Grrrrjjjjnnn v (14) Magnussen

[FMecha]

This is epic, but where's race 3?

And: 2 Fondmetal teams this season?* You gotta me to be kidding!

*in the game

[dinizintheoven]

This is epic, but where's race 3?

And now, you have your answer. There's a month's gap between the second and third races, you know...

Round 3: Imola, 60 miles north west up the A14 from San Marino
Saturday, 28 April 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'27.277
2 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'28.228
3 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'28.872
4 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'29.110
5 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'29.475
6 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'29.726
7 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'30.298
8 –   35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'30.337
9 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'30.577
10 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'30.622
11 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'30.793
12 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'30.829
13 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'30.947

Code: Select all

14 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'31.066
15 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'31.110
16 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'31.235
17 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'31.512
18 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'31.601
19 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'31.639
20 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'31.724
21 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'31.770
22 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'31.889
23 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'32.127
24 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'32.291
25 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'32.457
26 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'32.532

Code: Select all

DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'32.566
DNQ – 24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'32.778
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'32.819
DNQ – 21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'32.944
DNQ – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'33.098
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'33.297
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'33.142
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'33.914
DNQ – 37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'33.998
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'34.036
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'34.733
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'35.224

And after this session, the paddock is on fire, the garages are bereft of riches and a suspicious number of the WAGs are missing after a Viking raid from the Great Dane and his Icelandic wingman that saw only resistance from the people and team of Vinland. And while the others are still wondering what has hit them, it's champagne all round on the Friday afternoon for Scuderia Andrea Coloni, who could never have thought they would be sandwiching the two Tolemans and ahead of the champion F1 Rejects cars. Forti and Super Aguri have slid a bit but it's no disaster, AGS are vaguely in the hunt, Simtek are still hanging on and Prost are none too happy but that's it as far as two-car teams go for the Saturday afternoon. One car each drops out from EuroBrun, Minardi, Fondmetal Team Malaysia, Osella, Life and Monteverdi - Claudio Langes only just missing the cut by a whisker, and Fabrizio Barbazza following up fourth in Brazil with a mysterious and catastrophic qualifying failure - while it's Goodnight Vienna for both Lolas, and for the third time in succession there is no place on the grid for either ATS Rial or Stefan.


CLASSIFICATION

Code: Select all

1 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1h 43'36.942
2 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   1h 44'12.604
3 –  27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 44'28.571
4 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 44'30.435
5 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1h 44'42.981
6 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1h 44'50.118
7 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   + 1 lap            
8 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap            
9 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 1 lap            
10 – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 1 lap            
11 – 3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
12 – 2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
13 – 33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        + 1 lap            
15 – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          + 1 lap            
16 – 15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
17 – 18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
18 – 20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        + 1 lap            
19 – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
20 – 34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 1 lap            
21 – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         + 1 lap            
22 – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF            
23 – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          DNF            
24 – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           DNF            
25 – 32 T. Inoue          Simtek         DNF            
26 – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       DNF

The devil went down to Scunthorpe, he was looking for a soul to steal
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind, he was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young man sawing on a steering wheel, playing it hot
And the devil jumped upon an engine sump and said: Boy, let me tell you what!
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm an F1 Reject too
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you
Now you drive a pretty good race, boy, but give the devil his due
I bet a trophy of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you
The boy said: My name's Daggers and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been.

Daggers, you fire up your engine and drive your Toleman hard
'Cos hell's broke loose in Imola and the devil deals the cards
And if you win you get this shiny trophy made of gold
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.

The devil opened up his throttle and he said... I'll start this show
And sparks flew from his undertray as he powered through Tamburello
And he flung the car across the track and it made an evil hiss
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this
When the devil finished, Daggers said... well, you're pretty good ol' son
But sit down on the pit wall, there, and let me show you how its done.

Tifosi in the grandstands, run, boys, run
The devil's a true reject of Formula One
Past the blue flags backmarkers go...
Max, does your hooker bite?
No, Bernie, no.

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
He laid that golden trophy on the podium at Daggers' feet
Daggers said... Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
I told you once, you son of Balestre, I'm the best that's ever been!

...did something else happen in the race? Oh, right, AGS and SAC scored some points, which are worthy of some Infinite Improbability credit. And I suppose I'd better appoint a Reject Of The Race, which goes to Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn for following up a dominant performance in Brazil by being comprehensively thrashed in this race by his far less experienced team mate. As Big-Haired Barb will also testify, things can change so quickly in this series.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 =   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        37
1 =   5  M. Andretti       Team America   37
3 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    33
4 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     26
5 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    20
6 =   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        25
6 =   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         25
6 =   16 P. Diniz          Forti          25
9 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     18
10 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         16
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   14
12 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     12
13 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          8

Code: Select all

14 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
14 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
16 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
16 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
16 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   Toleman        62
2 –   Super Aguri    53
3 –   Team America   51
4 –   F1 Rejects     44
5 –   Viking         41
6 –   Forti          33
7 –   Monteverdi     12
8 =   Lola           2
8 =   AGS            2
10 =  Life           1
10 =  Osella         1
10 =  SAC            1

APERTURA: SEMI FINALS
(1) HWNSNBM (4th) v (4) Délétraz (12th)
(15) Grrrrjjjjnnn (18th) v (14) Magnussen (3rd)

The Final:
(1) HWNSNBM v (14) Magnussen

[TomWazzleshaw]

That... is... simply... BRILLIANT!!!

[dinizintheoven]

The last few days have been a vertiable orgy of fine beer, fine whisky and fine company from three different countries and in two different cities. That has delayed the publication of the next result of this series somewhat... although for one viewer, that's probably a good thing.

Round 4: Monte Carlo, Monaco
Saturday, 12 May 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'32.152
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'32.398
3 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'32.573
4 –   37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'32.663
5 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'33.330
6 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'33.338
7 –   35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'33.367
8 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'33.498
9 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'33.544
10 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'33.755
11 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'33.791
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'34.048
13 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1'34.581

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14 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'34.842
15 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'34.969
16 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'35.222
17 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'35.262
18 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           1'35.304
19 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'35.430
20 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'35.757
21 –  10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'35.848
22 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'35.928
23 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'36.100
24 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'36.185
25 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'36.274
26 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'36.341

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DNQ – 17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'36.394
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'36.692
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'36.853
DNQ – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'37.527
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'37.735
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'37.778
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'37.819
DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'37.860
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'38.066
DNQ – 19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'38.911
DNQ – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'39.033
DNQ – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'39.121

Monaco always has a habit of throwing up strange results, and this one is no different. Sticking his Super Aguri on pole has got to be the highlight of Marco Apicella's career, and certainly beats everything he never had the chance to achieve in F1. It could be argued that fourth for Big-Haired Barb is even more of an achievement, after a disappointing DNQ at Imola. Who knew the Monteverdi would be so good round those narrow streets? And sure, though we expected the likes of Viking, F1 Rejects and Team America to be up the top of the grid, who might have seen 9th and 11th coming for Scuderia Andrea Coloni? Osella also managed to get two cars into the midfield, as did Life, and can we have a round of applause for Volker Weidler for making a first appearance in the race for ATS Rial. Strangely, this was the scene of Pierre-Henri Raphanel's only ever appearance in a F1 race - for Coloni, in 1989, but this time his team mane has got the better of him. It's been a day for deadbeat-team-mate-ism, though. For Apicella's pole, Yuji Ide qualified only 19th. Jan Magnussen joins Apicella on the front row of the grid, but Þorvaldur Einarsson could only manage 23rd, and was said to be apoplectic with Viking berserker rage at Olivier Grouillard, who blocked his fastest lap; the slick-haired Frenchman would not even make the grid. Taki Inoue, in the Simtek, lines up last, with Paul Belmondo as high as 10th; Gregor Foitek must be wondering how Barb did it, failing to qualify with his team-mate in that stunning fourth place... but the biggest horror show of all is in the Toleman garage. The BBC's F1 season guide once listed one of the things you'd never see in the Monaco paddock as "Mansfield Town footballers"; I think we can now extend that definition to Scunthorpe United as well. Let us not forget that Chris Dagnall won the last race in Imola; here, he has mananged to miss the cut by 2.6 seconds and ten places, he is behing both Stefans and both ATS Rials, generally known to be the slowest cars this season, he is 5.6 seconds behind his team mate, and 6.8 seconds off the overall pace. And at no point did he ever have to deal with traffic. He must be wishing he was back in Scunthorpe now. It's the red card and an early bath for you, mate; no point waiting for the Saturday afternoon to declare it - Chris Dagnall is Reject Of The Race.

And as the mighty Asomvel would say (with evidence that I filmed myself), this is how the mighty fall...


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     2h 12'40.839
2 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   2h 14'24.960
3 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
4 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         + 1 lap            
5 –   33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap            
6 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 1 lap            
7 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
8 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        + 1 lap            
9 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap            
10 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   + 1 lap            
12 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 1 lap            
13 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 1 lap

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14 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       + 1 lap            
15 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 2 laps            
16 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 2 laps            
17 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           + 2 laps            
18 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 3 laps            
19 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 3 laps            
20 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 3 laps            
21 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            DNF            
22 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
23 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            DNF            
24 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         DNF            
25 –  10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       DNF            
26 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           DNF            

...no, there won't be any reworkings of country & western songs for this report. If there is to be a musical interlude, I suppose I might hand it to Destruction, because that's the kind of treatment that The Champ just handed to the rest of the field. Winning by a minute and 44 seconds? If there had only been a lap more or two, HWNSNBM would have lapped the entire field, and the only man who stopped that from happening is the only man who did it last season - Michael Andretti. Pleasingly, for Super Aguri, Marco Apicella managed to turh his pole on Friday into a podium on Saturday - this is definitely a two-car team now, and a shout for Yuji Ide for kamikaze-ing his way up the field after his lack of heroics in qualifying. Ditto Þorvaldur Einarsson, who used the berserker rage to fine effect, joining his more experienced team mate in the points. Paul Belmondo gave a fine account of himself in the Simtek, scoring their first points of the season, and certainly not regretting leaving his former team who are now floundering in the guise of Fondmetal Team Malaysia. Pedro Diniz was useful in the Forti, but Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn could only manage 8th place and four points for a beleagured Toleman. Big-Haired Barb couldn't do anything with his immense qualifying performance, sliding down the field to find himself only just in front of Claudio Langes. It was also a disappointing afternoon for Scuderia Andrea Coloni, who had hoped for more after their fine qualifying; reports of Andrea Sassetti throwing shoes around in frustration turned out to be absolutely correct. Most miserable of all the classified finishers must be Jean-Denis Délétraz; for those wondering what he was doing, clipping the infamous barrier at Ste. Devote on the first lap and crawling round the entire lap with a puncture didn't help, which goes some way to explaining why he found himself three laps down on his untouchable team mate, and used the race as something of an improvised test session. Weaving around in the tunnel and nearly knockling Pedro Chaves off the track didn't help Andrea Sassetti's blood pressure, though. JDD is a lucky man, you'd have to say, because the performance of a certain Scunthorpe United striker on the Friday is what spared him Reject Of The Race. Finally, what will become of Volker Weidler - his first start, and ATS Rial's first start of the season ended with a blown engine after ten laps. Boo. Will we ever see them again... and will Stefan Grand Prix ever make it at all?


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   55
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     51
3 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        41
4 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    39
5 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         37
6 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    35
7 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          33
8 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        25
9 =   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     18
9 =   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         18
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   14
12 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     12
13 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         10

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14 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          9
15 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
15 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
17 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
17 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
17 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1  –  Super Aguri    74
2  =  Team America   69
2  =  F1 Rejects     69
4  –  Toleman        66
5  –  Viking         55
6  –  Forti          42
7  –  Monteverdi     12
8  –  Simtek         10
9  =  Lola           2
9  =  AGS            2
11 =  Life           1
11 =  Osella         1
11 =  SAC            1

APERTURA: FINAL
(1) HWNSNBM (1st) v (14) Magnussen (4th)

...and the first major trophy of the season goes to the reigning series champion, who was in such scintillating form in Monaco that he could never be beaten. Magnussen vows to win the Apertura championship in 2013.

[dinizintheoven]

You all know how Jamie and Enoch make a podcast occasionally? I make one monthly, and that's what I've been up to. But despair not, because that's finished, and now I can bring you the latest thrilling instalment in the Microprose Grand Prix series for 2012...

Round 5: Montreal, Canada
Saturday, 2 June 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'26.215
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'26.762
3 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'27.264
4 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'27.769
5 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'27.889
6 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'28.033
7 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'28.347
8 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'28.659
9 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'29.026
10 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'29.240
11 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'29.295
12 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'29.384
13 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'29.520

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14 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'29.643
15 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'29.886
16 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'29.977
17 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'30.064
18 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'30.280
19 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'30.332
20 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'30.563
21 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'30.599
22 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1'30.916
23 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'31.002
24 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'31.005
25 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'31.231
26 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'31.411

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DNQ – 20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'31.507
DNQ – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'31.780
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'31.823
DNQ – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'31.952
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'32.039
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'32.352
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'32.627
DNQ – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'32.763
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'32.946
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'33.121
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'33.455
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'34.257

It's much as you'd expect at the front. HWNSNBM was in Senna-esque commanding form to grab the pole by half a second from Jan Magnussen, who was in turn half a second ahead of Michael Andretti, and half second further behind was... Pedro Chaves? No, your eyes do not deceive you, the merger of Andrea Moda and Coloni have gone some way to proving that two wrongs can make a right... at least on a Friday afternoon. Délétraz is up there to support his champion team mate, Daggers makes amends for his horrible embarrassment in Monaco, and there's a strong showing up the front from Forti, and not too bad a job from Super Aguri. Ghinzani will be happy with 12th in the reticent Osella, but a recurrent spat between Þorvaldur Einarsson and Scott Speed in which each one did a hatchet job on the other's nosecone as they kept blocking each other, saw them both at the wrong end of the grid and them nearly coming to fisticuffs in the paddock (which were averted when the hot-headed Yank saw the size of Þorvaldur's battle axe). Towards the back of the grid, it's a familiar story for all those teams who tend only to get one car into the race - Prost, Minardi, AGS and SAC doing so by the skin of their teeth. It's a double disaster for EuroBrun (for the first time this season, amazingly), Stefan (no surprises there) and ATS Rial (or there), but probably the biggest casualty of the lot... not satisfied with his team mate taking all the ignominy in Monaco, Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn, already a race winner this season, decides he too must taste the bitter pill of the DNQ and in doing so, given that he should be right up the sharp end, takes Reject Of The Race before a wheel has even been turned on the Saturday. And that's his second ROTR of the season.


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 47'01.236
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 47'40.839
3 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 48'08.275
4 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 48'09.262
5 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
6 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 1 lap            
7 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
8 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
9 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 2 laps            
10 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 2 laps            
11 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 2 laps            
12 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          + 2 laps            
13 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         + 2 laps

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14 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 2 laps            
15 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 2 laps            
16 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 2 laps            
17 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 3 laps            
18 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 3 laps            
19 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        DNF            
20 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          DNF            
21 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            DNF            
22 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        DNF            
23 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          DNF            
24 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           DNF            
25 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            DNF            
26 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           DNF

VIKING POWER! That's the message delivered to the world of F1RMGP as Jan Magnussen gets the better of the Hungarian Grandmaster to take a first-corner-to-flag victory, cheered on by an army of fans wearing plastic horned helmets with lemon-yellow plaits crudely glued on the side. Jackie Stewart must be regretting sacking him now. Jan tries to express how pleased he is with the victory, but being Danish, can't pronounce any consonants and sounds instead like he's had a skinful of Odin's favourite mead and Kimi Räikkönen's favourite vodka - which isn't too far from the truth. HWNSNBM and the very impressive Marco Apicella joined him on the podium, although the Italian was being caught at a vast rate of knots towards the end by Scott Speed, definitely living up to his name after that eventful qualifying session. Jean-Denis Délétraz, the ever-faithful wingman, scores more valuable points for F1 Rejects in the title hunt, Chris Dagnall salvages some pride for himself and the Toleman team as Grrrrjjjjnnn watches from the sidelines (and tests some new hairspray), Luca Badoer gets on the scoresheet again, and Þorvaldur Einarsson scrapes a point after the berserker rage from Friday causes him to lose enough focus to spin off twice over the course of the race. Coincidentally, he also had to scrape his paralytic team mate off the tarmac outside the Viking Racing motorhome. Just out of the points is Perry McCarthy, which is doubly frustrating for SAC as Pedro Chaves never made it to the end of the race, and really could have scored well after his heroics the day before. The highly unsatisfactory season for Simtek continues unabated, with Taki Inoue not even getting on the scoresheet yet - while for Prost, Minardi and FTM, it's still a blank for the year.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1  –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     69
2  –  27 J. Magnussen      Viking         62
3  –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   59
4  –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    50
5  –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    45
6  –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        41
7  =  16 P. Diniz          Forti          33
7  =  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        33
9  –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     28
10 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   26
11 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         19
12 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     12
13 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          11

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14 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         10
15 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
15 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
17 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
17 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
17 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   F1 Rejects     97
2 –   Super Aguri    95
3 –   Team America   85
4 –   Viking         81
5 –   Toleman        74
6 –   Forti          44
7 –   Monteverdi     12
8 –   Simtek         10
9 =   Lola           2
9 =   AGS            2
11 =  Life           1
11 =  Osella         1
11 =  SAC            1

[DanielPT]

What could've been for Chaves! I hope he can unrejectify himself this season given SAC top performances !

[dinizintheoven]

For reference, these are the unrejectified drivers from the current crop:
Andretti, Speed (USA 11); HWNSNBM (Brazil 11); Inoue (San Marino 11); Ide (Monaco 11); Délétraz (Canada 11); Diniz, Grrrrjjjjnnn (USA 12); Apicella, Barbazza (Brazil 12); Dagnall, Magnussen (San Marino 12); Belmondo (Monaco 12)

Nearly unrejectified drivers (ongoing):
Montermini, Badoer (1 × 6th)

if you're wondering, Belmondo had a 6th place for Pacific in 2011, followed by a 5th in Monaco 2012 for Simtek.

[dinizintheoven]

Round 6: Mexico City, Mexico
Saturday, 16 June 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'23.611
2 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'24.704
3 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'25.096
4 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'25.463
5 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'25.504
6 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'25.603
7 –   32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'25.783
8 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'25.786
9 –   29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'26.153
10 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'26.464
11 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'26.507
12 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'26.599
13 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'27.000

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14 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'27.190
15 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'27.270
16 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'27.366
17 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'27.495
18 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'27.549
19 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'27.956
20 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'28.001
21 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'28.276
22 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'28.361
23 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'28.725
24 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'28.804
25 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'28.903
26 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'28.986

Code: Select all

DNQ – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'29.208
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'29.216
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'29.251
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'29.255
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'29.261
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'29.265
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'29.583
DNQ – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'29.802
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'30.260
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'30.623
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'31.440
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'31.473

VIKING POWER strikes again! Continuing where he left off in the land of maple syrup, Jan Magnussen shrugs off the searing Mexican heat to absolutely cream the entire field. Better still for the Viking Racing team, Þorvaldur Einarsson finds his form at last and locks out the front row, despite being more than a second behind. Immediately behind them is the team Stefan Johansson has taken to calling "The Vinlanders" - Team America, not far off Þorvaldur's pace, and it looks to be a straight fight between those teams over the bumpy Circuit Hermanos Rodríguez. Chris Dagnall leads the fight from the other teams, which include Vincenzo Sospiri in the Lola thrown into the mix - ahead of the two F1 Rejects cars. Further down the grid, it's another mysteriously anonymous performance from Yuji Ide - what happened to the driver who won the opening race? - in amongst all those teams who only managed to get one car into the race. SAC and AGS managed two, but only just, as did Forti - again, why Pedro Diniz is so far back is anyone's guess. Of the non-qualifiers, Allan McNish must be kicking himself after seeing his team mate's performance, and it's the end of the weekend already... again... for ATS Rial and Stefan.


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1h 42'47.121
2 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 43'00.015
3 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1h 43'09.395
4 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1h 43'10.016
5 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 44'01.516
6 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 44'18.358
7 –   24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 1 lap            
8 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
9 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
10 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
11 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 1 lap            
12 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 2 laps            
13 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           DNF

Code: Select all

14 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          DNF            
15 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    DNF            
16 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            DNF            
17 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            DNF            
18 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            DNF            
19 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    DNF            
20 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           DNF            
21 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         DNF            
22 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            DNF            
23 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            DNF            
24 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
25 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          DNF            
26 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       DNF

A report in the style of Hávamál, verses 145-164: The Song Of Spells

This race I know, which nor sons of Bernie
nor Max in a Nazi orgy knows.

The first is of a warrior from the Land Of Ice
and volcanoes which erupt in triumph.
He who has come of age to dine
at the High Table of his own team boss.

A second I know, who is of Vinland,
and shows mighty Speed to match his name.
He sings not that song, for he is not first,
but challenged to the last.

A third I know: if sore throat should come
when I speak his name of no vowels,
then may his hair also fly
in a shock of orange in the Great Hall.

A fourth I know, a reject true,
of legends of ten laps in arrears.
What does he do? Never us mind:
his day will come again.

A fifth I know; the right-hand man
also of the Hall On High.
He who starts the battle first,
may fall away from the challenge ahead.

A sixth I know; he whose name
is forbidden to be mentioned.
And he whose place is as the last
on the same lap as the first.

A seventh I know, from the Far East;
slow he is usually in his progress,
but he may rise in infinite improbability,
to mark six times his rune stone.

An eighth I know, a man of luck
and parentage improper.
Whose star may be falling in this battle;
of this race he is the Reject.

A ninth I know: in another life
his rune stone has been unscored.
Yet he who can raise his game may find solace
that this reality is vastly different.

A tenth I know, a head of hair of plenty
that writhes like Niðhöggr at the roots of Yggdrasil.
But he who may keep his head
may take the final reward.

An eleventh I know, athlete of the other world,
has missed the share of the spoils.
And of the twelfth, he who is far behind
may also leave empty handed.

Of fourteen further warriors, the field they took
with courage, intent and honour;
but they who fall in this battle will dine only
honourless, in an empty Hall.

Now the sayings of the High One are uttered in the hall
for the saga-writings of the press, for the woe of Bernie,
Hail, those who have raced! Hail, those who succeed!
Hail, for the glory of the Norsemen!


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   1  HWNSNBM            F1 Rejects     77
2 –   27 J. Magnussen       Viking         72
3 –   5  M. Andretti        Team America   63
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn    Toleman        56
5 –   3  M. Apicella        Super Aguri    50
6 –   4  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    45
7 =   28 Þ. Einarsson       Viking         44
7 =   6  S. Speed           Team America   44
9 –   2  J-D. Délétraz      F1 Rejects     40
10 =  19 C. Dagnall         Toleman        33
10 =  16 P. Diniz           Forti          33
12 =  37 F. Barbazza        Monteverdi     13
12 =  15 L. Badoer          Forti          13

Code: Select all

14 –  33 P. Belmondo        Simtek         10
15 –  24 A. Yoong           Minardi        6
16 =  29 V. Sospiri         Lola           2
16 =  17 G. Tarquini        AGS            2
18 =  39 B. Giacomelli      Life           1
18 =  21 P. Ghinzani        Osella         1
18 =  35 P. McCarthy        SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   F1 Rejects     117
2 –   Viking         116
3 –   Team America   107
4 –   Super Aguri    95
5 –   Toleman        89
6 –   Forti          46
7 –   Monteverdi     13
8 –   Simtek         10
9 –   Minardi        6
10 =  Lola           2
10 =  AGS            2

Code: Select all

12 =  Life           1
12 =  Osella         1
12 =  SAC            1

Þorvaldur Einarsson is unrejectified at this race.

[dinizintheoven]

No comments? After I slaved over that Hávamál-style report for an hour and a half? Don't know you're born, some of you. Anyway, on with the show...

Round 7: Magny-Cours, France
Saturday, 7 July 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'21.232
2 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'21.842
3 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'22.116
4 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'22.700
5 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'22.734
6 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'22.778
7 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'23.076
8 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'23.262
9 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'23.304
10 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'23.438
11 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'23.759
12 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'23.837
13 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'24.487

Code: Select all

14 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'24.496
15 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'24.690
16 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'24.825
17 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'24.933
18 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'24.943
19 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'25.061
20 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'25.192
21 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'25.433
22 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'25.550
23 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'25.664
24 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'25.799
25 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'25.838
26 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'25.876

Code: Select all

DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'26.045
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'26.171
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'26.248
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'26.281
DNQ – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'26.336
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'26.823
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'27.019
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'27.266
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'27.309
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'27.312
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'27.420
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'27.597

Freedom Fries, anyone? The antipathy for all things French amongst overly patriotic Americans - especially those in the Team America management - was all swept away by a masterful performance from Michael Andretti. Even the complete absence of soap throughout the Magny-Cours paddock couldn't dampen the spirits of the whooping Yanks as they charged up and down the motorhomes informing all the other teams that America was number one and America would kick all yo' asses. Someone should have told them it was only Friday qualifying. Equally ecstatic were Gabriele Tarquini, sticking the AGS in fourth place on the team's home soil - or at least it would be if the race was at Paul Ricard - and Luca Badoer, who probably can't remember the last time he qualified on the front row! Both cars from F1 Rejects, Team America and Toleman (of the title contenders) are there or there abouts, but there has to be one fall guy, and this time it's Viking Racing's Þorvaldur Einarsson, stuck in 18th after getting his beard stuck in the gear change paddles on his qualifying lap. Simtek's alarming slide backwards continues unhindered, but at least they managed to get both cars in the race; you'd have to say it's the usual suspects who have one car knocked out in EuroBrun, Prost, Lola and Osella... but it's double-DNQ misery for the first time for Fondmetal Team Malaysia, the second time for Life, and the same situation for ATS Rial and Stefan is getting depressingly familiar... Stefan have yet to make it to the grid at all this year, as is the case for Pierre-Henri Raphanel for ATS Rial and, amazingly, Allan McNish in the Lola, who has far from the worst car in the field...


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 47'35.197
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 47'55.238
3 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 48'30.662
4 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1h 48'44.788
5 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1h 48'49.914
6 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 48'59.154
7 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
8 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        + 1 lap            
9 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
10 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
11 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 1 lap            
12 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
13 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
15 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 1 lap            
16 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         + 1 lap            
17 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 1 lap            
18 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 2 laps            
19 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 2 laps            
20 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          + 2 laps            
21 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 2 laps            
22 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 2 laps            
23 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            DNF            
24 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         DNF            
25 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        DNF            
26 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       DNF

YEAH! IN YOUR FACE, WORLD! AMERICA IS NUMBER ONE! AMERICA KICKS YO' ASS! But did anyone honestly expect it to be Scott Speed taking the spoils, while his more illustrious team mate had an absolute shocker of a race and could only finish 12th, a lap down? In fact, it wasn't a great day to be up the front of the grid at all; Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn and Luca Badoer also dropped down the field to finish only eighth and ninth... seventh, fifth and sixth on the grid translated to the podium places. Aguri Suzuki will be rather happy with that performance - fourth for Ide, sixth for Apicella, that's a hatful of points even if the team doesn't look too likely to repeat their heroics in the opening round of the season. It was a quiet afternoon for Jean-Denis Délétraz, a lap down on the frontrunners, but Gregor Foitek will be beside himself with joy after picking up his first point of the season. Pedro Chaves, unfortunately, just misses out, leaving Scuderia Andrea Coloni still stuck on one solitary point. Andretti, in twelfth, has already been mentioned and his performance was terrible enough to earn him an ignominious second Reject Of The Race in a row! Nothing else in the results would be considered too startling, other than the depressing sight of Gabriele Tarquini finishing two laps down after such a promising qualifying due to Taki Inoue trying to use him as a brake at the Adelaide hairpin, with the Japanese driver retiring and Tarquini having to limp back to the pits with a flapping left rear tyre that was torn to shreds.

With this result, Scott Speed jumps up to third in the driver rankings, with the current champ still on top, but second for Jan Magnussen and a spirited drive to fifth from Þorvaldur Einarsson has put Viking Racing at the top of the Constructors' Championship. Team Principal Odin has been spotted obtaining an extra case of his favourite mead.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   1  HWNSNBM            F1 Rejects     92
2 –   27 J. Magnussen       Viking         90
3 –   6  S. Speed           Team America   69
4 –   5  M. Andretti        Team America   63
5 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn    Toleman        60
6 –   3  M. Apicella        Super Aguri    58
7 –   4  Y. Ide             Super Aguri    57
8 –   28 Þ. Einarsson       Viking         54
9 –   2  J-D. Délétraz      F1 Rejects     46
10 =  19 C. Dagnall         Toleman        33
10 =  16 P. Diniz           Forti          33
12 –  15 L. Badoer          Forti          15
13 –  37 F. Barbazza        Monteverdi     13

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14 –  33 P. Belmondo        Simtek         10
15 –  24 A. Yoong           Minardi        6
16 =  29 V. Sospiri         Lola           2
16 =  17 G. Tarquini        AGS            2
18 =  39 B. Giacomelli      Life           1
18 =  21 P. Ghinzani        Osella         1
18 =  35 P. McCarthy        SAC            1
18 =  36 G. Foitek          Monteverdi     1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   Viking         144
2 –   F1 Rejects     138
3 –   Team America   132
4 –   Super Aguri    115
5 –   Toleman        93
6 –   Forti          48
7 –   Monteverdi     14
8 –   Simtek         10
9 –   Minardi        6
10 =  Lola           2
10 =  AGS            2

Code: Select all

12 =  Life           1
12 =  Osella         1
12 =  SAC            1

[DanielPT]

That SAC reliability still worries me. It was so close for Chaves first deserved point!

[dinizintheoven]

Round 8: Silverstone, Great Britain
Saturday, 14 July 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'28.850
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'28.922
3 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'29.007
4 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'29.064
5 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'29.181
6 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'29.345
7 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'29.347
8 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'29.566
9 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'29.610
10 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'29.986
11 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'30.036
12 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'30.661
13 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'30.703

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14 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'30.704
15 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'30.789
16 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'30.907
17 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'31.040
18 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'31.159
19 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'31.712
20 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'32.010
21 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'32.214
22 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'32.837
23 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'32.967
24 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'33.089
25 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'33.190
26 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'33.216

Code: Select all

DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'33.393
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'33.427
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'33.435
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'33.727
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'33.896
DNQ – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'33.937
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'33.949
DNQ – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'34.102
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'34.613
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'35.662
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'35.832
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         no time

It's coming home, it's coming, F1RMGP's coming home... to Silverstone! And as the leading British driver in the field, Chris Dagnall went out with high hopes of taking pole and then a lights-to-flag victory - except that he could only manage 11th and was probably wishing for a rainy Tuesday night in Scunthorpe instead. Scott Speed lived up to his name, taking pole but not in the dominant fashion this series has so often thrown up - HWNSNBM was less than a tenth behind, and a second covered the top nine - including a valiant performance from Pedro Chaves in the SAC. Team America, F1 Rejects, Super Aguri and one of the Vikings and Fortis round out the top ten, with a creditable performance from Pedro Diniz, but there are envious looks at his team mate from Luca Badoer, and Þorvaldur Einarsson was seen grumbling through his beard about a failure of one of his Koenigsegg superchargers. Further down the field, Osella and Prost will be the happiest of the lower-division teams, getting two cars into the race which is a rare occurrence for them; SAC, AGS and Monteverdi usually do that anyway. One Minardi and one FTM drop out, and it's double-DNQ misery as usual for ATS Rial and Stefan, where they are joined this time by EuroBrun, Life and Lola. As his team packs up on the Friday night, Allan McNish scowls furiously after his eighth DNQ out of eight, wonders where it all went wrong, and hatches a plan to petition Bernie to get shot of Silverstone and instead hold a Scottish Grand Prix at Knockhill.


CLASSIFICATION

Code: Select all

1 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1h 46'08.553
2 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1h 46'20.942
3 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 46'25.782
4 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1h 46'44.348
5 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1h 47'13.649
6 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1h 47'26.397
7 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1h 47'29.582
8 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1h 47'41.847
9 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 48'03.455
10 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
11 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
12 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 1 lap            
13 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          + 2 laps            
15 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 2 laps            
16 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
17 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     DNF            
18 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        DNF            
19 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            DNF            
20 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     DNF            
21 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF            
22 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         DNF            
23 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    DNF            
24 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   DNF            
25 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          DNF            
26 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     DNF   

Round Brooklands, round Luffield 1, round Luffield 2, round Woodcote, here he comes... and CHRIS DAGNALL WINS THE BRITISH GRAND PRIX! Or at least the F1RMGP version, and Murray's got to stop, because he's got a lump in his throat, and Wizzie may well be finding himself sending popcorn half way round the world is his lead driver keeps this up. It's been an inconsistent season, but Daggers becomes the first driver to win two races in 2012, and he celebrates by spraying his Scandinavian podium-mates with a bottle of Natterjack, from the Frog Island brewery just down the road in Northampton. Just before the podium ceremony, he'd carried HWNSNBM half way round the track on his lap of honour, after the Hungarian hero's Life engine decided to end its life four laps from the finish, grenading itself spectacularly into Stowe. So it was left to Jean-Denis Délétraz to salvage pride and points for F1 Rejects, which he did as best he could when Daggers and the Vikings were on such fine form. It was a great day for Forti, bringing both cars home in the points - if not quite as much of a result as at the opening round in Phoenix - but happiest of them all must be Pedro Chaves, who finally steered the fast-ish but fragile SAC to a sixth place finish, and a step towards unrejectification at that. Andrea Sassetti and Enzo Coloni hugged each other in the paddock, then argued with their hands waving in the air as to whose former team had actually contributed the most to this joint effort. Pedro didn't care, but did at least spare a thought for Perry McCarthy, who had been in the running for the final point on home turf before a wild lunge from Gregor Foitek sent them both into the gravel trap at Priory, completing a miserable day for Monteverdi, after Big-Haired Barb's car had exploded on the first lap. For that, Gregor Foitek is awarded Reject Of The Race. AGS, about on par with SAC for performance, couldn't translate that into race pace and ended up line astern just outside the points. That final slot was taken by Michael Andretti, who had had an anonymous afternoon, only getting the point by default after the McCarthy/Foitek crash. Osella would have been hoping for more after getting both cars into the race, unusually for them - as would Prost, but of those four cars, only Olivier Grouillard could finish, two laps down on the leaders, not looking very fast at all, and being barged forcibly out of the way by an irate Þorvaldur Einarsson while being lapped for the second time.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         105
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     92
3 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         72
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        70
5 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   69
6 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   64
7 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    60
8 =   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        58
8 =   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     58
10 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    57
11 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          37
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          21
13 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     13

Code: Select all

14 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         10
15 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            8
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        6
17 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
17 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
19 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
19 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
19 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1
19 =  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   Viking         177
2 –   F1 Rejects     150
3 –   Team America   133
4 –   Toleman        128
5 –   Super Aguri    117
6 –   Forti          58
7 –   Monteverdi     14
8 –   Simtek         10
9 –   SAC            9
10 –  Minardi        6
11 =  Lola           2
11 =  AGS            2

Code: Select all

13 =  Life           1
13 =  Osella         1

[DanielPT]

YES! Point for Chaves! Next step unrejectification!

[dinizintheoven]

Round 9: Hockenheim (the proper one), Germany
Saturday, 28 July 2012

THE GRID

Code: Select all

1 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'44.320
2 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'44.609
3 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'46.637
4 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'46.709
5 –   11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'47.353
6 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'47.392
7 –   23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'47.552
8 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'47.978
9 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'47.986
10 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'48.028
11 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'48.404
12 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'48.786
13 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1'48.819

Code: Select all

14 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'48.874
15 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'48.941
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'49.370
17 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'49.616
18 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'50.514
19 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'50.560
20 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'50.634
21 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'50.727
22 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           1'50.760
23 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'50.810
24 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'50.884
25 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'50.975
26 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'51.478

Code: Select all

DNQ – 33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'51.483
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'51.606
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'51.895
DNQ – 32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'53.376
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'53.408
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'53.742
DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'54.050
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'54.134
DNQ – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'54.668
DNQ – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'54.887
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'55.347
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'55.680

HWNSNBM ate the field for dinner, again, like a giant bucket of Hungarian bread and butter pudding - except for Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn, who chased him down like an angry bear who hasn't had any dinner. In the end, it was the champion who prevailed in the private battle, with the two drivers beating the rest of the field by two seconds. Pedro Diniz was third, with another hugely strong performance in the ever-improving Forti. Viking and Team America couldn't quite take the fight to F1 Rejects or Toleman - Jan Magnussed would be particularly disappointed with 8th, three and a half seconds off the pace. Over the moon, though, were Pierluigi Martini, and in particular, Andrea Montermini - dragging his reticent Malaysian heap of junk to 5th with an ingenious low-downforce and low-drag setup that worked miracles on the long Hockenheim straights. He would have Dagnall and Délétraz for company in the race. Both drivers would consider themselves on for a hatful of points, if only there weren't four cars not far behind that would usually be a lot faster.

Something odd happened at the back of the grid. The lower half of the starting line-up consists of all the teams you'd usually expect to find there - with the exception of Super Aguri who would hope to be higher up. SAC, AGS, Monteverdi, Minardi, FTM (star performances from the other drivers in those last two teams notwithstanding), Osella, Life... hang, on, what's happened to Simtek? Their car was unusually slow in practice, and proved to be even slower in qualifying; other teams around them in the neighbouring garages were watching their concern as they crashed down the time sheets turn to outright panic when even the two ATS Rials managed to get in front of them! Belmondo eventually managed to beat the German crapboxes, but even so, they were both sent packing on the Friday night, something which ATS Rial are well used to, and there really can be no other contender for Reject Of The Race than Simtek. Their car is nowhere near as good as last year's winning model (I wonder if any Honda executives are having nightmares about the RA107 all over again?) but it should not be failing to qualify. Amazingly, all the DNQs were both cars of six teams; the others were EuroBrun, Prost, Lola and, unsurprisingly, Stefan, who have still not made it into a race yet, and being stone dead last, eleven seconds off the pace, will test Zoran Stefanovic's patience ever further. A word for Lola as well - ten seconds down on HWNSNBM's pole time will give them horrible memories of 1997.


CLASSIFICATION

Code: Select all

1 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 25'15.281
2 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1h 25'51.392
3 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 25'59.041
4 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1h 25'59.166
5 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1h 26'02.013
6 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          1h 26'07.572
7 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1h 26'31.613
8 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1h 26'34.046
9 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 26'35.954
10 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1h 26'38.590
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 27'03.442
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 1 lap            
13 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap

Code: Select all

14 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 1 lap            
15 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 1 lap            
16 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 1 lap            
17 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
18 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
19 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            + 1 lap            
20 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            + 2 laps            
21 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 2 laps            
22 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           DNF            
23 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        DNF            
24 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
25 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         DNF            
26 –  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           DNF

...and on race day, it rained. We all know what that means at the proper Hockenheim - the trees turned the rain into a mist that meant the whole field could barely see through it. Not that this was a problem for the mighty and almost superhuman HWNSNBM, who drove through the bleak weather for a lights-to-flag victory in much the same way as he had driven in the dry in qualifying. The Vikings didn't so much find speed as everyone else lost it, Þorvaldur Einarsson being at a distinct advantage in having lived through Iceland's berserk weather conditions for his whole life. Délétraz ran Magnussen close, and crossed the line within a tenth of a second of the Dane... by slipstreaming him in a desperate attempt to get onto the podium, and crashing into him just afster the chequered flag. Daggers and Diniz weren't far behind, but this was no Senna-esque performance in the rain from Toleman, and the team were sorely disappointed with Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn after his qualifying heroics. Pedro Chaves celebrated another hatful of points as if it was his last day on Earth, Michael Andretti salvaged a bit of pride for Team America, and Marco Apicella just managed to get Super Aguri on the scoresheet.

Spare a thought, if you will, for those drivers in the smaller teams who were eyeing up points through the storms after Friday. Pedro Chaves actually managed to finish better than his qualifying position, but it was not to be for Pierluigi Martini, who was let down by his Motori Moderni engine which seized on the way towards the stadium complex and set itself on fire. As for Andrea Montermini, his low-downforce setup that had made headlines on the Friday was well and truly thwarted in the race, as he was left bereft of grip, spent most of the race spinning like Torvill & Dean, and ended up two laps down on the leaders. Tony Fernandes must also be cursing his luck, as this was FTM's best chance ever to get off the dreaded blank.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         120
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     117
3 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         90
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        71
5 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     70
6 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   69
7 =   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        68
7 =   5  M. Andretti       Team America   68
9 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    62
10 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    57
11 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          45
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          21
13 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            14

Code: Select all

14 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     13
15 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         10
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        6
17 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
17 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
19 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
19 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
19 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1
19 =  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

Code: Select all

1 –   Viking         210
2 –   F1 Rejects     187
3 –   Toleman        139
3 –   Team America   137
5 –   Super Aguri    119
6 –   Forti          66
7 –   SAC            15
8 –   Monteverdi     14
9 –   Simtek         10
10 –  Minardi        6
11 =  Lola           2
11 =  AGS            2

Code: Select all

13 =  Life           1
13 =  Osella         1

[DanielPT]

Unlucky for Chaves to finish seventh. He will be looking for that magic unrejectification 5th place next time around.

[dinizintheoven]

...and where's Wizzie gone? He should be watching to see if he's going to owe me free popcorn. Especially since his favourite's won two races.

[TomWazzleshaw]

...and where's Wizzie gone? He should be watching to see if he's going to owe me free popcorn. Especially since his favourite's won two races.

I have been keeping track of this championship. I just don't want to say anything because it'll probably involve alot of popcorn.

[SuperAguri]

Great series so far, although annoyed that Super Aguri have plummeted down the table. No way an bunch of Americans that can only design cars that go fast turning left can be doing so well. I am surprised that Stefan has not fired someone yet, I am sure a better known name would bring qualifying times to the team.

[dinizintheoven]

So... I've been away for a bit, spraying champagne. This next thrilling instalment was supposed to be posted on Saturday morning before I set off for t'grey stone walls of Yorkshire, home of the Virgin rejects, but I ran right out of time and had to set off instead of posting it then. I think it's a good one, though, and immediately one of the concerns above is addressed...

...but don't forget Team America (in their previous guise as US Grand Prix "Engineering") were leading the Constructors' Championship last year from the second to the fifteenth rounds, and were only beaten to the title at the last race by F1 Rejects. And Super Aguri haven't really crashed down the table, it's just Yuji Ide has been less consistent. At least he has a worthy team mate this year, and has had a win at Phoenix.

On with the show!


Round 10: Hungaroring, Hungary
Saturday, 11 August 2012

THE GRID

Code: Select all

1 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'26.232
2 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'26.355
3 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'26.963
4 –   34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'27.006
5 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'27.208
6 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'27.451
7 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'27.733
8 –   33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'27.771
9 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'27.903
10 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'28.105
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1'28.117
12 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'28.364
13 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'28.559

Code: Select all

14 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'28.933
15 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'29.009
16 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'29.048
17 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'29.213
18 –  9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'29.289
19 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'29.497
20 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'30.026
21 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'30.056
22 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'30.311
23 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           1'30.314
24 –  14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'30.357
25 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'30.509
26 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'30.522

Code: Select all

DNQ – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'30.637
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'30.916
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'30.997
DNQ – 32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'31.121
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'31.125
DNQ – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'31.126
DNQ – 37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'31.286
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'31.457
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'31.617
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'32.187
DNQ – 2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'32.828
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         no time

So, Hungary, then, and HWNSNBM's home race, which must have left the opposition wondering if the crowds were worth a second a lap to him as they always used to be for Moaning Nige. In qualifying, it didn't show, as Yuji Ide pulled out a BANZAI! of a lap to take pole from Michael Andretti and Jan Magnussen, the only drivers who could record a 1'26 time. Pedro Chaves in the SAC will be chuffed to pieces with fourth, Gabriele Tarquini won't be too miffed with ninth, but it's unlikely that Scott Speed, Chris Dagnall and The Home Boy in 11th, 13th and 14th respectively will be having any wild celebrations. Those are to be found further down the grid; some may say Hungary makes boring races, but it's thrown up its fair share of surprises in its time. This time, those surprises come in the form of both EuroBruns making the grid, which doesn't happen every day, as well as Pierre-Henri Raphanel and Jacques Villeneuve both mananging to qualify for the first time this season - which means it's a first ever appearance for Stefan Grand Prix in the F1RMGP series! Zoran Stefanovic will be beside himself with joy. Relatively. Those who won't, though, are some notable non-qualifiers: Taki Inoue fails to make the grid for the second race in succession - what is going on at Simtek? Perry McCarthy also wonders how it all went wrong for him when his team mate has managed to score 4th on the grid, and there's no way that Pierluigi Martini should have been so far away from making the field. But... who's that, dead last of all those who actually set a time, and what's he doing there? In short, WHAT IS DÉLÉTRAZ DOING? Picking up a very well-deserved Reject Of The Race, that's what he's doing. How can he, in the fastest car in the field, be 2.3 seconds away from 26th place, 2.5 seconds behind a Stefan that's never managed to qualify before, and 3.5 seconds behind Raphanel, who is in a car that is almost as hopeless as the Stefan? Nobody knows. Either way, that is a season's worth of rejectfulness in one afternoon.


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   16 P. Diniz          Forti          2h 05'55.560
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         2h 06'07.108
3 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        2h 06'22.741
4 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
5 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
6 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
7 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   + 1 lap            
8 –   24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 1 lap            
9 –   33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap            
10 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
11 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
12 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 1 lap            
13 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap

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14 –  38 G. Brabham        Life           + 1 lap            
15 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
16 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 1 lap            
17 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       + 2 laps            
18 –  9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       + 2 laps            
19 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       + 2 laps            
20 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 2 laps            
21 –  14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         DNF            
22 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
23 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          DNF            
24 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF            
25 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          DNF            
26 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         DNF

What did I say in qualifying? Strange things happen at Hungary. More specifically, João's Jungle Juice plus a four-cylinder Ford engine can be a winning combination in the right hands - Pedro Diniz' hands, to be precise. I know some of you will have been willing the first Forti victory to have been delivered by Luca Badoer, but that was never going to happen after an awfully slow start that saw him punted off the track on the first lap by the hapless Andrea Chiesa. In a way it was right that the Brazilian driver and team co-owner was the one who delivered the victory to the Brazilian team with the Brazilian engine, fuelled by Brazilian alcoholic fuel - which resulted in the drinking of some very non-Brazilian champagne on the podium. Jan Magnussen didn't mind too much - he was ahead of all his main competitors, with HWNSNBM having an uncharacteristic off-day (as with the day before), Þorvaldur Einarsson finishing an anonymous 13th, Chris Dagnall one place ahead but still out of the points, and only Grrrrjjjjnnn and Andretti showing any sort of fight. Alex Yoong, Paul Belmondo and Gregor Foitek all managed to score valuable points for their teams, ahead of some rather larger and faster outfits, so they should be content with that. Yuji Ide, though, couldn't turn his pole into another sensational win the way he'd done around the streets of Phoenix, Michael Andretti's lapped drive to fourth was solid but unspectacular, but the most annoyed driver of them all will be Pedro Chaves - fourth on the grid, and finishing last after the SAC mechanics inexplicably put wet tyres on his car when the sun was out - that's the kind of mistake that can only be a hangover from the Andrea Moda days. Keeping Pedro company were the two EuroBruns and Pierre-Henri Raphanel in the ATS Rial, all of which managed to get to get to the chequered flag, two laps down - but spare a thought for Jacques Villeneuve, on what might prove to be the only sight of a Stefan on the Saturday afternoon, as his Toyota engine conked out four laps from the finish. He was already four laps down, though.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         138
2 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     125
3 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         90
4 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        86
5 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   80
6 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   75
7 =   16 P. Diniz          Forti          70
7 =   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     70
9 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        68
10 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    67
11 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    62
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          21
13 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            14

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14 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     13
15 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         12
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        10
17 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
17 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
17 =  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     2
20 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
20 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
20 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

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1 –   Viking         228
2 –   F1 Rejects     195
3 –   Team America   155
4 –   Toleman        154
5 –   Super Aguri    129
6 –   Forti          91
7 =   SAC            15
7 =   Monteverdi     15
9 –   Simtek         12
10 –  Minardi        10
11 =  Lola           2
11 =  AGS            2

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13 =  Life           1
13 =  Osella         1

[dinizintheoven]

Been rather busy this past week or so, but I can now present the next episode... at everyone's favourite track. In the rain, as ever. I'll be leaving the internet soon for a while (again), so I'll attempt to wrap up a few more races before I go...

Round 11: Spa-Francorchamps, Belgium
Saturday, 25 August 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'58.183
2 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'58.185
3 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'58.410
4 –   15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'58.614
5 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'58.895
6 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'59.785
7 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        2'00.034
8 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     2'00.062
9 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2'00.156
10 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            2'00.324
11 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    2'00.408
12 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            2'00.741
13 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          2'00.862

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14 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    2'00.943
15 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         2'00.988
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        2'01.446
17 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            2'01.835
18 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            2'02.243
19 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         2'02.408
20 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            2'02.411
21 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         2'02.414
22 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     2'02.756
23 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     2'02.802
24 –  30 A. McNish         Lola           2'02.914
25 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       2'03.121
26 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        2'03.290

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DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          2'03.369
DNQ – 5  M. Andretti       Team America   2'04.301
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       2'04.335
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         2'04.342
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           2'04.453
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       2'04.547
DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          2'04.714
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           2'05.130
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       2'05.213
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         2'08.390
DNQ – 29 V. Sospiri        Lola           no time
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         no time

There's something about that innate ability to handle the bleakest of weather conditions that makes Scandinavian drivers so useful, and when it became obvious that it was going to tip down with rain in the Ardènnes forest, Stefan Johansson was seen doing a merry dance of celebration, in anticipation of a fine qualifying performance. And so it was that Jan Magnussen took pole... but only by two thousandths of a second from Jean-Denis Délétraz, who will also have seen his fair share of foul weather in Switzerland - and he didn't half make up for that utterly inept display at Hockenheim. It could be argued, though, that Luca Badoer was the star of the show - the 2012 Forti is no slouch, but Pedro Diniz has so far been taking all the credit, and Luca could hope for a shedload of points here. Scott Speed and Chris Dagnall were the only two other drivers to beat the two-minute mark in such revolting conditions, but it's unlikely that Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn and HWNSNBM will be too disappointed with the times. It's the likes of SAC, AGS and Super Aguri next in the pecking order, with Diniz, Yoong and a revitalised Taki Inoue in the mix, as well as a fine performance from Fondmetal Team Malaysia, who aren't used to having both cars qualify, and certainly not in the midfield. Monteverdi won't be too happy about 22nd and 23rd, although just behind them, Allan McNish will probably be content just to get into the race. Prost and Life seem to have slid backwards into the regular double-DNQ slots, ATS Rial still show no signs of moving out of that mire, and you'd have to say it was just plain humiliation for Stefan, when Jacques Villeneuve could not eveg get within three seconds of the next slowest car, and yet again Kazuki Nakajima did not record a time. Neither did Vincenzo Sospiri, who binned it without even reaching Eau Rouge on his first out-lap.

I have saved the worst until last, though. There have been some big-name scalps amongst the DNQs this season, and this time, yet again we will have to award Reject Of The Race on the Friday afternoon. No stranger to this award after some awkwardly poor races earlier in the season, Michael Andretti would still never expect to rack up a DNQ, certainly not when Scott Speed was comfortably in the top ten. And he wasn't happy. "GODDAMN IT! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN! THIS IS TOTAL BULL-BATHPLUG, DUDE!" (Yes, he really did say "bull-bathplug".) "I'M GONNA SUE ALL YOUR ASSES FOR NOT GIVING ME A WINNING CAR! GODDAMN IT, MY NAME IS MICHAEL ANDRETTI! I AM A GODDAMN AMERICAN HERO! I'M GOING BACK TO AMERICA!"

He would not carry out his threat, and was seen on the pit wall on the Saturday, ostensibly to cheer on his team mate and limit the damage to Team America's weekend.


CLASSIFICATION

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1 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1h 44'12.628
2 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1h 44'27.149
3 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1h 44'30.728
4 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1h 44'43.957
5 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1h 45'02.882
6 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 45'18.187
7 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1h 45'24.447
8 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 45'33.066
9 –   37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1h 45'34.379
10 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1h 45'44.084
11 –  6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 45'48.549
12 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1h 45'51.972
13 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1h 46'02.269

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14 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1h 46'31.589
15 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1h 46'37.503
16 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 1 lap            
17 –  30 A. McNish         Lola           + 1 lap            
18 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 1 lap            
19 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 1 lap            
20 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
21 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
22 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            DNF            
23 –  23 P. Martini        Minardi        DNF            
24 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF            
25 –  11 A. Montermini     FTM            DNF            
26 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         DNF

Stefan Johansson should have gone on doing his rain dance. On race day, it all went wrong for Viking Racing - or, at least, as wrong as sixth and seventh can be, for a team that fully expected to win, and blow everyone else into some soaking wet weeds. Instead, spurred on by the experience of playing football on far too many rainy Tuesday nights in Scunthorpe, Chris Dagnall triumphed on a rainy Saturday afternoon in Spa-Francorchamps, becoming the first driver to take three wins this season. There were dances of joy from Aguri Suzuki as well, as his main man, Yuji Ide, launched the Japanese team back into form with a well-deserved second place, with a fearless banzai run through the rain that nobody saw coming. Jean-Denis Délétraz finished off the job of burying the bad memories of Hockenheim, finishing in the final spot on the podium, not all that far behind Ide; HWNSNBM consolidated his championship charge, though not quite as much as he'd have hoped for on a day when the Vikings couldn't get their raids in gear. With Grrrrjjjjnnn finishing 5th and Apicella 8th, that wrapped up the top eight places amongst four teams; how Luca Badoer would have been hoping for so much more than 10th, even being beaten to 9th spot by Big-Haired Barb who took his first points since Mexico, and put Monteverdi ahead of SAC in the championship. For all the "encouragement" from the pit wall, Scott Speed couldn't keep up with the rest, and he fell back to 11th, ensuring Team America scored their first blank of the year - something F1 Rejects, Viking and Toleman have yet to do. Equally annoyed was Perry McCarthy, who had started 10th, and with some not unreasonable pace from the SAC in recent races, he might have hoped for more, but slid down the field the way Scott Speed did, and ended up a lap down. Even one point would be enough to send Fondmetal Team Malaysia into wild celebrations, but it was not to be, as a fine qualifying was reduced to rubble when their two cars retired on successive laps (the 11th and 12th, neatly matching the car numbers...) And, finally, Taki Inoue's recent revival would also come to nothing, as he was the casualty of the usual bumping and barging on the run to La Source on the first lap. What he said as he left the car was unrepeatable even in the original Japanese.




DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Five races left and 125 points are still available: drivers who can still win the title are shown with a star.

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1 *   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         146
2 *   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     137
3=*   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         96
3=*   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        96
5 *   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        93
6=*   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     85
6=*   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    85
8 *   5  M. Andretti       Team America   80
9 *   6  S. Speed          Team America   75
10 *  16 P. Diniz          Forti          70
11 *  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    66
12 *  15 L. Badoer         Forti          22
13 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     15

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14 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            14
15 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         12
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        10
17 =  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           2
17 =  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            2
17 =  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     2
20 =  39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1
20 =  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
20 =  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Five races left and 215 points are still available: teams who can still win the title are shown with a star.

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1 *   Viking         242
2 *   F1 Rejects     222
3 *   Toleman        189
4 *   Team America   155
5 *   Super Aguri    151
6 *   Forti          92

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7 –   Monteverdi     17
8 –   SAC            15
9 –   Simtek         12
10 –  Minardi        10
11 =  Lola           2
11 =  AGS            2
13 =  Life           1
13 =  Osella         1

[dinizintheoven]

Round 12: Monza, Italy
Saturday, 8 September 2012

THE GRID

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1 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'27.257
2 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'27.498
3 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'27.580
4 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'27.658
5 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'27.941
6 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'29.064
7 –   32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'29.467
8 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'29.494
9 –   37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'29.619
10 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'29.820
11 –  18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'29.942
12 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'30.272
13 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'30.630

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14 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'30.897
15 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'31.224
16 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'31.239
17 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          1'31.263
18 –  30 A. McNish         Lola           1'31.436
19 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'31.551
20 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'31.581
21 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'31.659
22 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'31.790
23 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'31.873
24 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'31.947
25 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'32.591
26 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'32.600

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DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'33.396
DNQ – 24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'33.549
DNQ – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'33.669
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'33.674
DNQ – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'34.033
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'34.078
DNQ – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'34.158
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'34.637
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'35.599
DNQ – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'36.319
DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'36.364
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'38.645

It's the Viking and Vinland Saga on Friday afternoon, as Viking Racing take the front row, and Team America line up just behind them, making for joyous celebrations all round - most of all, from Gabriele Tarquini who split the Team America cars and put himself in huge contention for a shedload of points for the team from the shed. Michael Andretti put his Belgian embarrassment well and truly behind him, and Þorvaldur Einarsson roaring a dedication to Odin for his first ever pole position could be heard as far away as Valhalla. At least, Odin, watching via ValhallaCom, was happy enough, and fed Hugin and Munin a couple of extra-large and juicy worms each. Super Aguri were highly satisfied with their performance as well, despite being the first team not to crack the 1'29 barrier, and being a second off the pace of Scott Speed - and Japanese joy did not end there, Taki Inoue throwing away his recent troubles to line up 7th. Others who had every right to be happy were Vincenzo Sospiri, whose repaired car from Spa seems to be running even better than usual, and team mate Allan McNish who put in his best performance of the season; also, both Prosts and both EuroBruns made it into the race again. On the downside, the reigning champions couldn't string anything together this Friday, and there were long faces amongst the F1 Rejects pit crew as HWNSNBM and Délétraz could only manage 15th and 20th - although that's better than what JDD did in Hungary. Forti weren't too thrilled at 23rd and 26th for their cars which have been going so well recently, and SAC didn't take it well to see Pedro Chaves in 24th after his recent heroics, with Perry McCarthy not even making the grid. FTM's brief resurrection came to a grinding halt with both cars eliminated on the Friday, ditto Minardi, and it was business as usual for Stefan and ATS Rial - although Günther Schmidt's hapless team had their turn to be tail-end Charlies this time round. Accompanying them were the two Lifes, putting in their worst performance of the year, hopelessly off the pace at a circuit where that is damn near suicidal. That W12 engine is just not working well at Monza, even the tweaked version that F1 Rejects have used to such great effect over the last year and a half was not up to the job this time...


CLASSIFICATION

Code: Select all

1 –   5  M. Andretti       Team America   1h 23'08.088
2 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1h 24'03.516
3 –   17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1h 24'15.092
4 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1h 24'36.011
5 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1h 24'36.179
6 –   4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
7 –   18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            + 1 lap            
8 –   37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 1 lap            
9 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap            
10 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         + 1 lap            
11 –  26 P. Alliot         Prost          + 1 lap            
12 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 1 lap            
13 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 2 laps

Code: Select all

14 –  20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        + 2 laps            
15 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 2 laps            
16 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     + 2 laps            
17 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        + 2 laps            
18 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         + 3 laps            
19 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 3 laps            
20 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 3 laps            
21 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 3 laps            
22 –  7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       DNF            
23 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     DNF            
24 –  25 O. Grouillard     Prost          DNF            
25 –  30 A. McNish         Lola           DNF            
26 –  8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       DNF

"YEAH! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? IN YOUR FACE, WORLD! AMERICA KICKS YO' ASS!"

It's a startling contrast from Spa, isn't it? An increasingly stressed Michael Andretti let his mouth run riot again, but for very different reasons this time. Remember, this is the man who lapped the entire field in Mexico last year. This time, it was a mere 55-second victory... but I doubt he will care for those statistics, bouncing back so brilliantly from that Friday afternoon in Spa, and spraying champagne on the podium as enthusiastically as a Brooklynese hipster wouldn't. To have his team mate on the podium with him, even though the margin of victory had been so huge, was even more of a boost. But possibly happiest of all, the third placed man, Gabriele Tarquini, who drank all his champagne in one gulp and passed out in the press conference afterwards after declaring that Michael Andretti was hisssh bessssht friend innnthe world, si. You've got to let him get away with that - it's the sixth time he's qualified in the top ten, but only once, in San Marino, has this been converted into points. Until now, that is. It's a place on the podium, champagne, a trophy, 15 points, and best of all - unrejectification for the bald Italian! Let us also not forget this is AGS' finest hour, and maybe always will be. Joachim Winkelhock coming in 7th meant the team scored a total of 21 points in this race.

Elsewhere, Jan Magnussen kept an iron grip on the title hunt, coming fourth on a day when the Americans had the better race pace, and when neither F1 Rejects nor Toleman could get on the scoresheet; Þorvaldur Einarsson should have done more than scraping 9th after being on pole on Friday, but a bit of bumping and barging on the part of the Yanks at the start didn't exactly help him. Super Aguri were steady in their pursuit of 5th and 6th, helping them on in the championship. Big-Haired Barb could be pleased with the way it's turning out for him at Monteverdi, with four more points here, compared to the crapbox he was driving in 2011; then again, if he'd stayed with AGS, that could have been him on the podium! Even so, he's two points ahead of Tarquini for the season. And, in 10th, there's Taki Inoue; after a miserable season that has brought two DNQs instead of the steady stream of points that last year's Simtek netted him, he finally made it off the dreaded blank for the year.

Behind the points positions, there are so many candidates for Reject Of The Race that it's rather difficult to decide who it should go to. Þorvaldur Einarsson was briefly considered for that alarming slide down the field from pole position, but you have to ask, what are Toleman and F1 Rejects (and, given their recent performance, Forti) doing down in the dumps, two or even three laps down, being outraced by Vincenzo Sospiri's Lola and Philippe Alliot's Prost? In the end, though, the award was made to the defining swarm of flies in four teams' ointment; deadbeat engines. Black mark number one goes to the Life W12; on Friday, the Life works team were right at the back of the timesheets with ATS Rial, with those two teams completely thrashed by everyone else, even the painfully slow Stefans. F1 Rejects, the champion team, were at the wrong end of the grid, and in a year which has seen some insanely brilliant performances from the back of the grid, the champs were still right off the pace. It's the same story with the Renault V8; Toleman's performance was as limp as F1 Rejects', and their Renault engine also powered Fondmetal Team Malaysia to a double-DNQ, one race after a fine Friday performance. At least the FTMs managed to beat one of the Stefans, which cannot be said for Life...


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Four races left and 100 points are still available: drivers who can still win the title are shown with a star.

Code: Select all

1 –   27 * J. Magnussen      Viking         158
2 –   1  * HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     137
3 –   5  * M. Andretti       Team America   105
4 –   28 * Þ. Einarsson      Viking         98
5 –   20 * R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        96
6 =   19 * C. Dagnall        Toleman        93
6 =   4  * Y. Ide            Super Aguri    93
6 =   6  * S. Speed          Team America   93
9 –   2  * J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     85
10 –  3  * M. Apicella       Super Aguri    76
11 –  16 * P. Diniz          Forti          70
12 –  15   L. Badoer         Forti          22
13 –  37   F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     19

Code: Select all

14 –  17   G. Tarquini       AGS            17
15 –  34   P. Chaves         SAC            14
16 –  33   P. Belmondo       Simtek         12
17 –  24   A. Yoong          Minardi        10
18 –  18   J. Winkelhock     AGS            6
19 =  29   V. Sospiri        Lola           2
19 =  36   G. Foitek         Monteverdi     2
21 =  39   B. Giacomelli     Life           1
21 =  21   P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
21 =  35   P. McCarthy       SAC            1
21 =  32   T. Inoue          Simtek         1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Four races left and 172 points are still available: teams who can still win the title are shown with a star.

Code: Select all

1 –  * Viking         256
2 –  * F1 Rejects     222
3 –  * Team America   198
4 –  * Toleman        189
5 –  * Super Aguri    169
6 –  * Forti          92

Code: Select all

7 –    AGS            23
8 –    Monteverdi     21
9 –    SAC            15
10 –   Simtek         13
11 –   Minardi        10
12 –   Lola           2
13 =   Life           1
13 =   Osella         1

Unrejectified drivers:
Andretti, Speed (USA 11); HWNSNBM (Brazil 11); Inoue (San Marino 11); Ide (Monaco 11); Délétraz (Canada 11); Diniz, Grrrrjjjjnnn (USA 12); Apicella, Barbazza (Brazil 12); Dagnall, Magnussen (San Marino 12); Belmondo (Monaco 12); Einarsson (Mexico 12); Tarquini (Italy 12)

Nearly unrejectified drivers (ongoing):
Montermini, Badoer (1 × 6th)

[Shizuka]

It's slowly becoming a duel between Magnussen and HWNSNBM...

[dinizintheoven]

It's slowly becoming a duel between Magnussen and HWNSNBM...

"Sir, I demand satisfaction!" - Magnussen
"Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime!" - HWNSNBM. (translation: "Challenge accepted. I will make Danish bacon of you!")

Round 13 will follow, probably some time after today's Canuck GP qualifying session.

[dinizintheoven]

Round 13: Estoril, Portugal
Saturday, 22 September 2012

THE GRID

Code: Select all

1 –   20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        1'19.628
2 –   19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1'20.209
3 –   28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         1'20.287
4 –   27 J. Magnussen      Viking         1'20.455
5 –   2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     1'20.457
6 –   3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    1'20.457
7 –   18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            1'21.043
8 –   1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     1'21.196
9 –   6  S. Speed          Team America   1'21.364
10 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1'21.374
11 –  16 P. Diniz          Forti          1'21.376
12 –  15 L. Badoer         Forti          1'21.407
13 –  35 P. McCarthy       SAC            1'21.412

Code: Select all

14 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           1'21.493
15 –  17 G. Tarquini       AGS            1'21.615
16 –  24 A. Yoong          Minardi        1'21.696
17 –  37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     1'22.112
18 –  33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         1'22.319
19 –  36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     1'22.488
20 –  34 P. Chaves         SAC            1'22.491
21 –  32 T. Inoue          Simtek         1'22.656
22 –  12 F. Fauzy          FTM            1'22.683
23 –  21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         1'22.730
24 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   1'22.859
25 –  22 A. Chiesa         Osella         1'23.360
26 –  9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       1'23.768

Code: Select all

DNQ – 39 B. Giacomelli     Life           1'23.936
DNQ – 30 A. McNish         Lola           1'24.062
DNQ – 8  C. Langes         EuroBrun       1'24.402
DNQ – 11 A. Montermini     FTM            1'24.570
DNQ – 14 J. Villeneuve     Stefan         1'24.687
DNQ – 7  E. Bertaggia      EuroBrun       1'24.815
DNQ – 38 G. Brabham        Life           1'24.987
DNQ – 23 P. Martini        Minardi        1'25.021
DNQ – 26 P. Alliot         Prost          1'25.229
DNQ – 13 K. Nakajima       Stefan         1'25.356
DNQ – 10 V. Weidler        ATS Rial       1'25.520
DNQ – 25 O. Grouillard     Prost          no time

Jan Magnussen has challenged HWNSNBM to a duel, even though the championship is still open to more than just those two, and the Tolemans gave them both a well-needed reminder, with Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn swiping the pole by six tenths. It was Jan Magnussen who gained the upper hand in the duel, though, being beaten (again) by his team mate - but with HWNSNBM in eighth (although it's not as if JDD will make it particularly difficult for him to get by), the Dane has a huge advantage. Scott Speed and the Super Aguris are in the mix again, with Joachim Winkelhock this time getting the best out of the AGS to mix with the frontrunners in 7th. Of course, for every star performance, there must be a casualty... Michael Andretti, whose season continues to go up and down like Bill Clinton's trousers, had another horror show to line up 24th, sandwiched between the two Osellas. For the midfield cars, Winkelhock was the star of the show, but Perry McCarthy won't be too annoyed with 13th, rounding out the top half of the grid just behind the Fortis, and Vincenzo Sospiri managed another fine showing in the reticent Lola. Both Monteverdis qualified towards the back of the pack, both Simteks were even further back, Alex Yoong was the only Minardi to qualify, and Fairuz Fauzy the lone FTM, but, as alluded to, Enzo Osella was well chuffed to see both his cars on the grid with the hapless Andretti between them. And, in the final place, it was a Herculean effort by Pierre-Henri Raphanel to drag his ATS Rial to only the third start for this team out of a possible 26. Unlucky were Allan McNish, Andrea Montermini and Pierluigi Martini for Lola, FTM and Minardi, and Volker Weidler in the other ATS Rial; it was no surprise that both Stefans failed to qualify, where they were joined by EuroBrun, Life and Prost - this time it was Olivier Grouillard's turn to record no qualifying time as his Peugeot engine steadfastly refused to start. It was later discovered that a tub of Brylcreem had been dropped into the airbox and had leaked all over the engine innards.


CLASSIFICATION

Code: Select all

1 –  19 C. Dagnall        Toleman        1h 44'01.652
2 –  4  Y. Ide            Super Aguri    1h 44'35.612
3 –  28 Þ. Einarsson      Viking         + 1 lap            
4 –  2  J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
5 –  5  M. Andretti       Team America   + 1 lap            
6 –  1  HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     + 1 lap            
7 –  3  M. Apicella       Super Aguri    + 1 lap            
8 –  27 J. Magnussen      Viking         + 1 lap            
9 –  29 V. Sospiri        Lola           + 1 lap            
10 – 34 P. Chaves         SAC            + 2 laps         
11 – 17 G. Tarquini       AGS            + 2 laps            
12 – 16 P. Diniz          Forti          + 2 laps            
13 – 37 F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     + 2 laps

Code: Select all

14 – 35 P. McCarthy       SAC            + 2 laps            
15 – 33 P. Belmondo       Simtek         + 2 laps            
16 – 20 R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        + 2 laps            
17 – 15 L. Badoer         Forti          + 2 laps            
18 – 24 A. Yoong          Minardi        + 2 laps            
19 – 22 A. Chiesa         Osella         + 2 laps            
20 – 36 G. Foitek         Monteverdi     + 3 laps            
21 – 21 P. Ghinzani       Osella         DNF            
22 – 18 J. Winkelhock     AGS            DNF            
23 – 12 F. Fauzy          FTM            DNF            
24 – 32 T. Inoue          Simtek         DNF            
25 – 9  P-H. Raphanel     ATS Rial       DNF            
26 – 6  S. Speed          Team America   DNF

Go, go, go in Portugal, AND LOOK AT THAT! Scott Speed spins off the line!

It was amazing that his start-line pirouette didn't hit any of the other cars, but seeing his wrecked car against the pit wall after only a few car lengths was not the sight that Ken Anderson and Colonel Sanders wanted to see. Chris Dagnall benefitted most at the start, jumping his team-mate who seemed completely unprepared for the lights to turn green, which would go on to sum up his afternoon. Daggers romped to a first-corner-to-flag victory, chased for the initial stages of the race by Þorvaldur Einarsson, then by Yuji Ide who had made a banzai blast through the field, before Daggers managed to get the better of both of them by mid-race and pull out such a commanding lear that the Icelander was lapped and only Ide was on the same lap. Jean-Denis Délétraz never had to get out of the way - there was always someone between him and HWNSNBM, but neither of them ever expected it to be Michael Andretti, who put in a drive that even put Yuji Ide in the shade to salvage fifth from a miserable Friday. He'd overtaken ten cars by the beginning of the first lap. HWNSNBM wasn't thrilled with sixth, but allowed himself to crack a smile as he sailed past Jan Magnussen, who'd been falling back all race, so this round of The Duel goes to the Hungarian champ. Marco Apicella was solid but unspectacular, save for a blinding move on Magnussen at the death to take seventh that his team mate would have been proud of. Vincenzo Sospiri was overjoyed at a couple more points, and Pedro Chaves valiantly held off a charging Tarquini for the final point. Even so, not a vintage race for AGS this time, Winkelhock this time knowing the pain of not translating a fine qualifying to a haul of points as his MGN engine tore itself to pieces on the pit straight - and pity Pierre-Henri Raphanel, whose second start of the year only lasted two laps before he suffered the same fate. Neither Forti nor Perry McCarthy had a race to write home about either, or the Monteverdis, but the cream of the reject crop was Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn - for all his Friday heroics, on race day he looked utterly clueless, losing five places at the start and steadily shedding more ground to the leaders to end up two laps down behind Paul Belmondo in the Simtek. It's not his first Reject Of The Race award for this season, but with only three races left, and still mathematically in title contention,he'll hope it's his last.


DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Three races left and 75 points are still available: drivers who can still win the title are shown with a star.

Code: Select all

1 –   27 * J. Magnussen      Viking         162
2 –   1  * HWNSNBM           F1 Rejects     145
3 –   19 * C. Dagnall        Toleman        118
4 –   5  * M. Andretti       Team America   115
5 –   28 * Þ. Einarsson      Viking         113
6 –   4  * Y. Ide            Super Aguri    111
7 –   2  * J-D. Délétraz     F1 Rejects     97
8 –   20 * R. Grrrrjjjjnnn   Toleman        96
9 –   6  * S. Speed          Team America   93
10 –  3    M. Apicella       Super Aguri    82
11 –  16   P. Diniz          Forti          70
12 –  15   L. Badoer         Forti          22
13 –  37   F. Barbazza       Monteverdi     19

Code: Select all

14 –  17   G. Tarquini       AGS            17
15 –  34   P. Chaves         SAC            15
16 –  33   P. Belmondo       Simtek         12
17 –  24   A. Yoong          Minardi        10
18 –  18   J. Winkelhock     AGS            6
19 –  29   V. Sospiri        Lola           4
20 –  36   G. Foitek         Monteverdi     2
21 =  39   B. Giacomelli     Life           1
21 =  21   P. Ghinzani       Osella         1
21 =  35   P. McCarthy       SAC            1
21 =  32   T. Inoue          Simtek         1

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP
Three races left and 129 points are still available: teams who can still win the title are shown with a star.

Code: Select all

1 –  * Viking         275
2 –  * F1 Rejects     242
3 –  * Toleman        214
4 –  * Team America   208
5 –  * Super Aguri    193

Code: Select all

6 –    Forti          92
7 –    AGS            23
8 –    Monteverdi     21
9 –    SAC            16
10 –   Simtek         13
11 –   Minardi        10
12 –   Lola           4
13 =   Life           1
13 =   Osella         1

[Aerond]

Yeah, the end of the championship is being nice for Dagnall... We can still win it!

[TomWazzleshaw]

If Dagnall wins the championship the popcorn's on me