Grand Prix Rejects

Posted: **02 Jul 2012, 18:39**

FMecha wrote:[Wild mass guessing: On]

I think your story to temporaily write-off Brundell is actually a sign that you are lazy to answer to the rumors.

[Wild mass guessing: Off]

[Wild mass guessing: On]

The fact the pirates are Glaswegian is clearly some plot device to do with the new Lancia teams

[Wild mass guessing: Off]

Some people have lives y'know :roll:

Posted: **06 Jul 2012, 16:44**

J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:
Announcement: News correction

Last time, we wrote:Pentacost linked to F1RMGP?
Dan Pentacost, of the farcical Force 1 USA fame, has announced that he will enter F1RMGP. He claimed that he has bought over USF1 cars from 2010-2012. Although he had not formally announced what engine or drivers he would sign, our insider suggests that Scott Speed and Will Power are linked heavily. Nothing can be confirmed at this time, although it is widely reported that he is also (still) promoting his 'global alternative energy solutions' and is intending to promote it using this team.

Unfortunately we have to do some corrections to the article above:

The name of the Force 1 USA owner is actually Don Pentecost.
The USF1 cars he bought over was actually from 2011-2012. USF1's 2010 car does not exist.

We are sorry for the mistakes.

Still not getting the Pentecost thing? Click here.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 02:34**

Breaking the silence: Jimmy Allinson's News Round-up

Hi! I'm Jimmy Allinson and I've been let out of my broom cupboard for the first time in four years! (What's that? Calm down? All right...)

To clear this up, Marktin Brundell is now safe and free, so we hear, but while we wait for his return to our shores so he can tell his tale, I've been given the job of correlating all the news with the rumours, and that's meant five hours sifting through all the news articles so far to work out what's been confirmed and where, what hasn't, and what is just wild speculation, then writing a report on it all. Here we go...

Battles In The North

They're using the same engines, one driver has defected to the other side, and as if that wasn't enough to chew on, the Vikings of Norway and Finland's Ice One Racing have been locked in battle for a month now over the services of Marko Asmer. It has never been explicitly stated that he was the driver they had their eyes on, but it should have been obvious, after all, anyone who can win in a Simtek deserves a shot at glory - even though that victory had "outrageous good fortune" written all over it, he was there to pick up the pieces when the two drivers who are now on opposing sides of the Koenigsegg fence both fell by the wayside. There is no telling how this saga will end, both teams seem to be absolutely set on the Estonian driving for them - even if there is an unwritten rule at Viking that says all their drivers should be Scandinavian, possibly Finnish, but it seems Odin has decided to make an exception for one of those sort-of-Finns from the other side of the Baltic given that he's clearly good enough for the job. Fellow GP2 reject, Pål Varhaug, was unavailable for comment. And it's worth noting that neither side has a backup plan for if Asmer joins the rival squad... or if he decides enough of this bathpluggery is enough and signs for a completely different team. After all, there's a seat at F1RM... isn't there?

F1RM's links to the back of the grid, and to ATS Rial...!?

There's a tangled web of stories going on round this lot. Yes, F1RM need a new driver to partner Chris Dagnall, and ATS Rial need a new driver as well, as Volker Weidler has gone AWOL.

Some of you will remember the story of how there has been a complete silence from the ATS Rial camp. It's because Günther Schmidt's occupation of the Hologram Projection Unit was temporarily suspended, to allow a rather different calibre of team boss to occupy it for a while. That team boss was Colin Chapman, whose signature was required to unlock Dany Bahar and Tony Fernandes from their inglorious predicament at Genii Team Malaysia. The signature is on the release paper, the warring "Lotus" bosses have been freed, and have been banished permanently from the F1RMGP circus with the explicit instructions that they are never, ever to use the Lotus name for their own gains ever again. And so this brings the saga of Genii Team Malaysia to a close, along with any chance for Jarno Trulli to join what was effectively the same two teams he raced for in F1 (and of course, whine incessantly about, eh, the, eh, power steering was, eh, not good). With Keith Wiggins having also had to sign the release papers, control of the team that was once his has been handed back to him.

Pacific Grand Prix are back in F1RMGP after three seasons in the Malaysian wilderness, and have wasted no time in signing two of their former drivers. One is Andrea Montermini, unwanted at Forti, and the other is Jean-Denis Délétraz, ousted at F1RM after a rather limp 2014 season. Both are confident they can bounce back from their moments of non-glory, as well as the team. And to soften the blow of JDD's exit from F1RM, his former employers have included a supply of PURE engines to get the reconstituted team back on track. Cynics would say that was a curse rather than a blessing, but in a way it's a final fist in the face of the Malaysian disgrace squad - after all, Proton's weak 1.6-litre turbo four-pot that powered GTM to no effect whatsoever was supposed to be a clone of the PURE, intended to beat it, after the dreaded Mecachrome snub; of course, it did anything but, and Pacific and PURE will be a rather better combination than GTM and Proton. They'll have to pre-qualify, though, so don't expect fireworks just yet.

Meanwhile at ATS Rial, Ranting Günther has been switched on again, and the search for a new driver starts here. There's one he has his eye on, who is German at least. Any of the newspapers want to take a shot at who it might be?

Il Barone Rampante might want to be a bit more rampant

Who'd have thought it? After all the will-they-won't-they around Minardi when all seemed to be sorted on the SAAC front, it was the IBR B-team who were the first to announce their full line-up. Enrico Bertaggia had been widely tipped for one of the seats, but it was something of a surprise to see Esteban Tuero get the other drive. OK, so last year's Minardi didn't exactly give him a chance to shine, neither did it allow much scope for Alex Yoong to do so either, but I suspect there were few would would have thought he would be staying when WEC champion Vanina Ickx was set to make the step up to the Main Series. She hasn't been given that opportunity, and will have to look to defend her title in the 2015 WEC season - though if she were to attempt to do so in a Minardi that was even worse than the one she (somehow) won the title in, I'd say it wouldn't so much be an uphill struggle as a vertical cliff. Someone give her a decent car, will they?

SAAC, so far, have announced only Gabriele Tarquini to drive for them. This leaves Forti in the lurch as they're waiting to see if they can retain the services of Luca Badoer for another year, or whether he will ditch them for the tempting prospect of adding to his two race wins via Lancia power. Forti do, however, have a backup plan, with two drivers they're looking at who will most likely both be given the drive if Badoer leaves - and even if he doesn't sign for SAAC, there's always the other seat at F1RM still available at the moment.

Nowt to report from Japan or France

The line-ups of Super Aguri and Leyton House are already well known, and Dome are keeping silent on any replacement for Emanuele Naspetti. AGS are also a done deal, but it's anyone's guess as to what SPAM are up to. They've got a car, they've got engines, they don't have anyone to drive it, and with the likes of Pierre-Henri Raphanel and Olivier Grouillard likely to be the only French drivers available, who underperformed miserably last year, it might be time for the insanely patriotic French squad to swallow their national pride and look outside their borders.

And most of the rest...

Simtek, almost resigned to losing Marko Asmer - not that it's totally set in stone, but he should be at one of the Nordic teams next season - have promised Domenico Schiattarella a drive should the Estonian make his almost inevitable departure. It's a good job Alan Jones won't be commentating on any of the races...

Spyker are set in stone for the upcoming season, which is more than can be said for fellow Neotech runners, EuroBrun. The Swiss squad have no idea who they could possibly get to drive for them, with their fortunes well and truly on the slide to 1989 levels if they don't sort themselves out very rapidly. Enrico Bertaggia has decamped to Minardi who should be on the way up again, and the prospect of re-signing Claudio Langes has all the appeal of a warm, flat lager that's been sitting in the sun for a week. Their only other options seem to be the other teams' cast-offs - Grouillard, Raphanel, Naspetti... it's either that, or a tie-up with Arrows, who are still trying to find a way into F1RMGP. The problem there is who would be the representative of Arrows in the team management, with Prince Malik and "that bloke in the bowler hat" told they're not getting anywhere near the F1RMGP circus on pain of being chased away by two of Sir Bernie's pet crocodiles, and Tom Walkinshaw is not an option as long as Günther Schmidt holds his position in the Hologram Projection Unit (and no, he can't be registered as a driver and then run a team). Jackie Oliver is probably the only suitable candidate, unless Derek Warwick wants to have a crack at being the boss. At least Arrows can provide a stable driver line-up; Vincenzo Sospiri signed up to be their test driver last season in case the unthinkable happened, and Vitantonio Liuzzi's patience in setting up camp outside the team's headquarters might just pay off.

Stefan are all set for the coming season; they're now the HKS works team, they've had Perry McCarthy signed for a while, and now, as rumoured, it's time for a bit of Serbian pride as GP2 reject Milos Pavlovic has signed up to be their second driver. He might find it a tough job clearing the pre-qualifying hurdle, but has all that V12 power behind him that should make it slightly easier.

The worst kept secret in the F1RMGP paddock was who might be driving for Hispania Racing. Yes, it's the moment you've all been waiting for, Sakon Yamamoto will be driving next year! And, though Esteban Tuero was widely tipped to be their other driver, he's unexpectedly stayed put at Minardi - so now Norberto Fontana also gets his chance in the F1RMGP spotlight. Annoyingly for him, he won't have a chance to repeat his infamous blocking of Jacques Villeneuve, with the Canuck's career in this series having gone the same way as his music. And besides, there are no Ferrari team orders in operation here.

The most interesting tactics, from the very back of the grid

As briefly mentioned in a previous news report, MGN have had something brewing over this close season. Dumped by AGS in favour of diesel power due to the diminishing returns of the geriatric W12 engine, Guy Nègre has picked himself up and come up with a new engine solution for the upcoming season, with one eye on the future. Unsure whether V6 engines will be allowed for the all-blown 2016 regulations, MGN's new engine is a two-litre straight-five turbo, which can be easily trimmed to a 1.6-litre four if necessary. Suspecting that it might be quite powerful, maybe even more so than the PURE four-pot powering F1RM and also now Pacific, MGN have taken the bizarre step of choosing the hopeless Shekel Racing as their works team.

The theory behind their plan is this: they had no chance of signing up with a top team, but at the midway point of the season, there will be the Grand Reversal. MGN know that with the utterly rejectissimo driving of Chanoch Nissany and Adrian Shankar, Shekel will be dead last in the standings. The engines will still be relatively fresh, having been used in nothing more than a pre-qualifying session every race. So, when the Grand Reversal comes round, suddenly their powerful engine will find itself in the hands of, maybe, Þorvaldur Einarsson or Chris Dagnall, F1RMGP champions both. Or it could be Jan Magnussen, who worked wonders with a foully uncooperative David Price last year, or it could be Fabrizio Barbazza, who was given the chance to swap his mediocre Monteverdi for a much more powerful Forti and won the race handsomely. All it would take is that one race with a top driver at the wheel and the MGN five-pot should be able to prove itself there and then. On the other hand, it could all go tits-up and the 32 DNPQs that Nissany and Shankar are tipped to get between them would be all the MGN engine had to show for the season, but it's a risk they're willing to take.

Might there be any more teams?

As it stands, there will be 19 teams competing in F1RMGP 2015, though with the new regulations, there is space for 24. Arrows have been mentioned, but they may go into partnership with EuroBrun rather than going it alone. FIRST have been mentioned, and despite everyone laughing at them, they're not totally out of the picture as they've got a car, an engine and two drivers - allegedly, all of it, but if there's anyone out there who'd go to Ladbrokes and take a gamble on a 100-1 horse, this might be the time to do it. And, what about the old joke... what do a frying pan and F1RMGP have in common? Both have Greece at the bottom. Actually, that won't be true, even if Arena Motorsport do get the nod, because Shekel's driver line-up is so miserably poor that even a dead toucan in last year's GTM could beat them. Who'd drive for them is anyone's guess. As for those mysterious entities that are "Team Australia" and "Team Wales", if they could gang up with a respected motorsport squad from their home countries, they might also have a shot - as it stands they look more like A1GP entries.

The other question mark hanging over all of these new entries is who would supply the engines. FIRST have one, or so they say, but since the withdrawal of Cosworth and their venerable old 3.5-litre V8 at the end of the 2012 season, there hasn't been such a thing as a "default" entry-level engine that a new team can bolt onto their chassis and go racing. Pacchia have been considered with their bits-and-pieces Coswojuddhartlambo effort, but if Cosworth ever do want to return, or even any of the others - Judd and Hart have both been previously involved in F1RMGP - that'd see them out in the cold straight away. Daihatsu were also mentioned, but any team taking their 525 bhp piece of junk fully deserves the 32 DNPQs that will inevitably follow. The return of Dodge's 5.7-litre pushrod V8 as used by Team America (yee-haw!) is an absolute no-go area with the new regulations, VW's 2.9-litre VR6 TSI that ATS Rial used for a year came from a scrapyard (although the car it was salvaged from was perfectly fine until Günther Schmidt drove into it) and will most likely be staying back there now - especially with the Audi/SEAT diesels now firmly established (though I wonder if there will be a Czech team in the future with the same engine badged as a Skoda?) The final "default" choice might be the recently-departed Renault, but that's equally unlikely, knowing the hatchet job they did on their "front-line" engines before selling them to David Price badged as Dacias, so "their" engines wouldn't be seen to be trundling round at the back the way they were in 2012 with Fondmetal Team Malaysia. Which leaves... could it be true... could it be Life that returns to the series?

And finally: Pentecost "jossed" by two bosses

Don Pentecost and his farcical Force 1 USA "team" will not be taking any part in F1RMGP, now or ever. Two teams in particular have told Mr Pentecost that he is most definitely not welcome - Viking Racing and Shekel Racing, and both are to do with the Grand Reversal. I get the impression that, even if those in the Shekel management who aren't Tallulah Shekelslike (and hence might actually take an interest in running the team) don't especially want to be rock bottom of the standings at the half-way point, MGN do. Their whole campaign centres on the Shekel drivers swapping places with whoever is at the very top of the F1RMGP tree - they don't particularly mind if it's Viking, Leyton House, Super Aguri, SAAC, F1RM - all of them have at least one top-drawer driver, some have two, and that's where they want to be on the Sunday at Anderstorp. Meanwhile, Viking have the opposite problem, knowing that their drivers will be dropped into a car somewhere near the bottom, if not outright last - and the last thing they need is for that rock-bottom team to be Force 1 USA. After all, Don Pentecost has said he wants to build a "christian ministry-based team", which the Vikings - run as they are from Asgard - are vitriolically opposed to, and the thought of landing in those cars, as well as Don Pentecost driving one of their precious golden machines, is too much to bear. Odin has reminded the entire paddock that his son is capable of delivering a thunderbolt that could flatten an entire city, if he so wanted, and if that happens to be aimed at Don Pentecost's head with collateral damage in a five-mile radius, then so be it. Sir Bernie chipped in, muttering something about this mad Yank bringing F1RMGP into disrepute even more than Team America used to when Michael Andretti was whining and stamping his feet when he didn't win, and also how they sacked God as Team Principal after they didn't win the 2011 Constructors' Championship, and mumbled something further about preferring that Canadian team run by Walter Wolf that Autosport Japan dropped an almost unbelievable story about.

And that, as they say is that; news from Marktin Brundell about his unintended Transatlantic sea voyage as soon as he is available to explain it. This is Jimmy Allinson signing off, reminding you all to catch F1RMGP commentary on the radio next season, and pleading with his bosses not to keep the padlock on the broom cupboard door for so long this time...

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 15:15**

Some Publication wrote:Rumour: James Davies linked to Team Wales?
by Moderate D. Journalist

Team Wales: It's the rumour that just won't seem to die. And neither is James Davies, as latest rumours suggest the two could link up for an all-out assault on the F1RMGP in 2015. Davies, a noted Welshman, previously expressed interest in entering the series following the Bathurst 24 hours. This comes following murmings that if the rumoured entity could link up with an actual team, then they may have a shot of actually breaking into the series. Given that, if I'm not mistaken, the only recorded Welsh-based racing team ever was Davies' own entry into the Bathurst race, then that would mean James Davies is Team Wales' best hope of getting into F1RMGP, and with a talented Welsh driver to boot. Still, you should take these rumours with a grain of salt; both versions of James Davies have repeatedly stated they have no interest in continually failing to qualify, which is likely where Team Wales would find themselves, as even at this stage the team exists only on paper, if even at all.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 15:32**

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:
Some Publication wrote:Rumour: James Davies linked to Team Wales?
by Moderate D. Journalist

Team Wales: It's the rumour that just won't seem to die. And neither is James Davies, as latest rumours suggest the two could link up for an all-out assault on the F1RMGP in 2015. Davies, a noted Welshman, previously expressed interest in entering the series following the Bathurst 24 hours. This comes following murmings that if the rumoured entity could link up with an actual team, then they may have a shot of actually breaking into the series. Given that, if I'm not mistaken, the only recorded Welsh-based racing team ever was Davies' own entry into the Bathurst race, then that would mean James Davies is Team Wales' best hope of getting into F1RMGP, and with a talented Welsh driver to boot. Still, you should take these rumours with a grain of salt; both versions of James Davies have repeatedly stated they have no interest in continually failing to qualify, which is likely where Team Wales would find themselves, as even at this stage the team exists only on paper, if even at all.

Oi! Check RTCC and SuperAguri's series dude, as well as the BATracer! That's where I got the Team Wales name.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 15:52**

Gazzetta Dello Sport wrote:Deletraz and Schiattarella spotted in Parma!

The SAAC rumour mill had gone quiet for a period of time, but now, more exciting news is emerging. GDS has been notified that Jean-Denis Deletraz and Domenico Schiattarella have both been spotted in the city of Parma, home to Il Barone Rampante, the new parent company of Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni. These sightings have fuelled speculation they are looking to secure a drive with SAAC alongside the already confirmed Gabriele Tarquini, but when asked by local journos at the scene, both refuted this notion.

"I am not here on business, I am just meeting with an old friend," said Schiattarella. "If you want to talk about where I'm driving next year, talk to my manager."

Deletraz was similarly defensive, refusing to give anything away as to his new destination, as he looks almost certain to be leaving F1RM.

"It is only by accident I am here, I was flying home and my plane was diverted here. Its another few hours before the replacement departs so I wanted to go to the city and get some good lunch. I don't even know where anything in this city is, never mind the Il Barone Rampante factory. At this moment, I still have an active contract with F1 Rejects Motorsport, and I hope for it to remain this way next year."

SAAC are said to be following a number of drivers for their second seat, with Luca Badoer and Nicola Larini also amongst the favourites to drive for the team.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 16:22**

Gazzetta Dello Sport wrote:Deletraz was similarly defensive, refusing to give anything away as to his new destination, as he looks almost certain to be leaving F1RM.
"It is only by accident I am here, I was flying home and my plane was diverted here. Its another few hours before the replacement departs so I wanted to go to the city and get some good lunch. I don't even know where anything in this city is, never mind the Il Barone Rampante factory. At this moment, I still have an active contract with F1 Rejects Motorsport, and I hope for it to remain this way next year."

Hmmm. Shouldn't this have been in Tuttosport?

Jimmy Allinson wrote:Does anyone take any notice of me anymore?

Jamie McGregor wrote:Who's this flaming gollah at Gazzetta dello Sport, eh? Read the news, mate! JDD has no contract with us anymore.

Jean-Denis Délétraz wrote:...and I never said anything anyway...

Louis Délétraz wrote:Hey, maybe they meant me instead? Come on, I'm nearly 18. I can beat all these old timers. No offence, Dad.

Keith Wiggins wrote:Really, the strings I had to pull with those two Malaysian jokers to get my team back... and now that I have, there's no way I'm letting my star driver go! What's that, Andrea... no, I assure you you'll get equal treatment with Jean-Denis, it's not as if we can afford to throw away any opportunities that come our way...

Domenico Schiattarella wrote:Oh, please let this be true...

Nick Wirth wrote:Oi!

Marko Asmer wrote:*something incomprehensible in Estonian*

Paul Belmondo wrote:Sacre Bleu...

Odin wrote:Marko! Leave those jokers in blue behind. We would like to invite you to the high table to dine on roast Sæhrímnir and some of my vintage mead. Strydegor, do the honours, will you...

Rami Räikkönen wrote:And who do you think you're talking to, eh? Marko is ours. Perkeleen naapurit.

Marko Asmer wrote:*more muttering in Estonian*

Murray Hunt wrote:And look at that! The team bosses are going to have a fight! I have never seen anything like this before!

James Walker wrote:Bathplug this, I'm off for a fag and a pint. And by that I mean I will drink until I can barely see.

Tomas Enge wrote:Comrade, you would like some of my finest... er... you know... substances?

James Walker wrote:Yes.

Kimi Räikkönen wrote:That's my line.

James Walker wrote:Why didn't you try and stop me, then?

Kimi Räikkönen wrote:I was having a shite.

Rami Räikkönen wrote:Back to F1 with you, bro. I've got a team to run.

Marko Asmer wrote:*finishes muttering* So who am I driving for again?

Odin wrote:VIKING!

Rami Räikkönen wrote:ICE ONE!

Domenico Schiattarella wrote:And who am I driving for?

Gazetto dello Sport wrote:Why-a you ask us?

Keith Wiggins wrote:It isn't us...

Nick Wirth wrote:Us!

Taki Inoue wrote:Really?

Nick Wirth wrote:Hey, we fired you! Bathplug off.

Paul Belmondo wrote:I would like a transfer now, I think SPAM are looking for French drivers...

Nick Wirth wrote:It's your funeral, mate!

And so on, and so on. Everyone involved waits for the return of Marktin Brundell to sort out the mess...

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 16:44**

FMecha wrote:
BlindCaveSalamander wrote:
Some Publication wrote:Rumour: James Davies linked to Team Wales?
by Moderate D. Journalist

Team Wales: It's the rumour that just won't seem to die. And neither is James Davies, as latest rumours suggest the two could link up for an all-out assault on the F1RMGP in 2015. Davies, a noted Welshman, previously expressed interest in entering the series following the Bathurst 24 hours. This comes following murmings that if the rumoured entity could link up with an actual team, then they may have a shot of actually breaking into the series. Given that, if I'm not mistaken, the only recorded Welsh-based racing team ever was Davies' own entry into the Bathurst race, then that would mean James Davies is Team Wales' best hope of getting into F1RMGP, and with a talented Welsh driver to boot. Still, you should take these rumours with a grain of salt; both versions of James Davies have repeatedly stated they have no interest in continually failing to qualify, which is likely where Team Wales would find themselves, as even at this stage the team exists only on paper, if even at all.

Oi! Check RTCC and SuperAguri's series dude, as well as the BATracer! That's where I got the Team Wales name.

Yes, I know where Team Wales came from, I'm just making up a rumour.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 17:09**

Autosport wrote:Dome hint at new driver.
Dome dropped massive hints that their new driver would be a driver who did win races for them in Japanese F3 and F3000 but never won a championship but came close and was beating F1 Rejects favourites such as Pirro, Apicella and Barbazza. He is the younger brother of Eddie Cheever, Ross Cheever.

Team Canada, er I mean Wolf Racing Pure step up entry.
Wolf Raicng have done over 2000km of testing of their car with Jacque Villeneuve (one of them) and they have signed up one time Benetton test driver Paul Tracy in order to boost development, Paul Tracy said "I am looking forward to learning about F1 from these two well loved Canadian drivers who managed to drive F1 cars.". The F1RMGP have still not complete the entry list to date.

Suzuki show off POWER!!!!!
Leyton House Suzuki have shown off a 2 seater F1 car for public demonstrations, however they were not happy with that, Taki Kamikaze, lead designed for Leyton House Suzuki said "2 seater cars are boring, everyone and their dog has one, we upped the ante by having our twin turbocharged V6 3.6 litre 1000 bhp engine on full boost, but we still were not happy so we whacked in another one, it measures something like 1600bhp on the dyno, but not of our drivers want to drive it yet. Still I am sure there will be some idiot, er I mean brave driver like Kazuki Nakajima.

Team Viking accidently pillage own factory, killing most of their backroom staff.
F1 champions Team Viking, accidently pilalged and razed their own factory to the ground, the factory was in flames within minutes with the 2015 car in as well as killing their designer and a lot of the team that build the car. They left with several cases of champagne, the front of house girl, several PAs and one or two PR girlies. Once they realised their mistake, they jumped into the team long ship and sailed off to sea. It is a scene of devisation and it raises the question, will Viking slip down the table due this error?

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 17:36**

Tuttosport owners and Luciano Moggi charged for rival hacking

Nuova Editoraile Sportiva S.r.l, owners and publishers of sporting daily Tuttosport have been charged with hacking into rival newspaper Gazzetta Dello Sport, publishing a fake news story riddled with errors in a malicious attempt to discredit the pink paper's sound credibility.

The story revolved around a report on the F1RMGP series, where major manufacturer Lancia has recently entered into the sport with their Scuderia Alitalia team, as well as setting up a partnership with Faenza-based Minardi. The story contained false quotes from two drivers, both of whom have subsequently denied they were in Parma, as reported in the article.

Also arrested in connection with the incident was convicted fraudster and disgraced former Juventus director Luciano Moggi, who is close to the accused newspaper. It is said he bribed the newspaper to deliberately discredit Gazzetta Dello Sport, who are known for their positive attitude towards F.C. Internazionale Milano and Scuderia Alitalia, two organisations with which Alasdair Lindsay, a team boss at SAAC, has connections with.

"Moggi is involved? I am not surprised," said Lindsay. "I can't comment much, as this is a sensitive case, but I will say, I am not surprised to hear the names that are being charged with this. That is all I will say."

Gazzetta Dello Sport has since revised their security protocols in an effort to ensure such an attack will not happen in future, a company spokesman informed us.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 17:46**

Japanese Autosport wrote:Team Viking accidently pillage own factory, killing most of their backroom staff.
F1 champions Team Viking, accidently pilalged and razed their own factory to the ground, the factory was in flames within minutes with the 2015 car in as well as killing their designer and a lot of the team that build the car. They left with several cases of champagne, the front of house girl, several PAs and one or two PR girlies. Once they realised their mistake, they jumped into the team long ship and sailed off to sea. It is a scene of devisation and it raises the question, will Viking slip down the table due this error?

A security guard for Viking Racing's headquarters, to J.O.U.R.N.A.L, wrote:What the (Japanese) Autosport wrote is incorrect and ridiculous. The fire was only small and for a short time.

Posted: **07 Jul 2012, 19:21**

Autosport wrote:EXCLUSIVE PICTURE OF BURNT OUT TEAM VIKING FACTORY
The smouldering remains of the factory.

What it used to look like.

So not such a small fire after all.

Posted: **08 Jul 2012, 19:08**

A security guard for Viking Racing's headquarters, to J.O.U.R.N.A.L, wrote:*shows the Japanese Autosport article*

Again, what the (Japanese) Autosport shown is incorrect and ridiculous. The pictures were dated February 13, 2008 so it was googled, showing an poor attempt to fabricate this news.

Posted: **08 Jul 2012, 21:22**

Autosport wrote:Man claiming to be Team Viking security guard gets thousands of euros from rival paper.
Bjorn Agen, a con artist from Sweden managed to convince a rival paper that he was a security guard for Team Viking and was paid thousands of euros in cash to claim that a nearby ABBA novelties factory was the Team Viking factory and claim that this very magazine was making up news. Even other rival newspapers and magazines have also confirmed the razing of the Team Viking factory.

The con artist posted a letter to said rival team even saying "Thanks for the many euros!" and an insider faxed us the letter also adding "Someone is going to be fired and someone is going to resign...."

Team Viking "Testing"
Team Viking sailed their long boats into Estoril to do some private testingm although our spies said they had no cars as they destroyed them but they broke into a nearby driving school and stole an F3 car and then the mechanics pushed the car around the track making "Broom Broom" sounds as they ran. They did about 12 laps before some of the mechanics overheated.

What this test will prove is unknown but four mechanics pushing the car would make the Stefan car seem to be a V12 powered monster.

(off autosport, I am hoping that Diniz will make the viking team less dominant so that some Japanese teams can win.

)

Posted: **08 Jul 2012, 21:28**

SuperAguri wrote:
Autosport wrote:Man claiming to be Team Viking security guard gets thousands of euros from rival paper.
Bjorn Agen, a con artist from Sweden managed to convince a rival paper that he was a security guard for Team Viking and was paid thousands of euros in cash to claim that a nearby ABBA novelties factory was the Team Viking factory and claim that this very magazine was making up news. Even other rival newspapers and magazines have also confirmed the razing of the Team Viking factory.

The con artist posted a letter to said rival team even saying "Thanks for the many euros!" and an insider faxed us the letter also adding "Someone is going to be fired and someone is going to resign...."

Team Viking "Testing"
Team Viking sailed their long boats into Estoril to do some private testingm although our spies said they had no cars as they destroyed them but they broke into a nearby driving school and stole an F3 car and then the mechanics pushed the car around the track making "Broom Broom" sounds as they ran. They did about 12 laps before some of the mechanics overheated.

What this test will prove is unknown but four mechanics pushing the car would make the Stefan car seem to be a V12 powered monster.

(off autosport, I am hoping that Diniz will make the viking team less dominant so that some Japanese teams can win. )

Not too much less dominant I hope, I'm rooting for another Einarsson championship!

Posted: **08 Jul 2012, 23:26**

I predict Viking Racing being bought out by Craig Pollock, withdrawing from 2015, re-entering as "Pollocks Bollocks Racing" in 2016 and finish 10th in the constructors as a completely average team.

Posted: **09 Jul 2012, 00:37**

Marktin Brundell speaks!

After the ordeal of being captured by pirates, our favourite reporter has been seen out and about... in Glasgow, of all places. Nevertheless, the Series Management sent off an unnamed representative to record his side of the story.

Marktin Brundell wrote:So, those three and a half weeks of hell, then. Were they hell? Actually, not really.

First of all, this gang of "pirates" are actually a bunch of travelling musicians who think they're pirates. At least, they dress up as pirates and say "Arrr" in their Scottish accents, but would probably wet themselves if they ever ran up against Captain Blackbeard or that bunch of brigands sailing their wooden rafts round Somalia. Otherwise, they make rather silly songs about drinking rum and sailing the high seas and boarding other ships to capture their loot (I mean, here's one for example), and are rather annoyed that there's a bunch of Germans who had already beaten them to it, the aforementioned Running Wild, that favourite of Sir Bernie who the Scots wanted to split up. (Incidentally, that song was written when the Scots were still in nappies).

So, what's that got to do with us? The answer is... I have no idea. I guess it must have been a publicity stunt for their new album or something similar, but why they picked on us in particular is anyone's guess. Presumably they'd get into real trouble if they'd tried to abduct one of the drivers, or a famous footballer, or I suppose in Chris Dagnall they could have done both in one go. I get the idea they knew this, because they kept on saying how broke they were, and while we were holed up in the shipyard they'd show us videos of them playing live, and the curly-haired one - Chris, I think they call him, kept saying things like "Arrr, please buy our album, I need to pay my rent." Lawyers are expensive, and if they'd gone for someone really valuable, say one of the F1RMGP champions or even one who's just won a couple of races and is quite high-profile, or if they'd gone for a Premiership footballer, they'd get busted in no time and no amount of plundered treasure would get the legal bill settled. So, I think they went for me because I'm a journalist and all I do is sit in a café with a laptop and write my news articles, not exactly surrounded by heavies, whereas, say, the Viking drivers are always there with an army of heavily-armed Einherjer, Super Aguri and Leyton House employ samurai warriors for the same purpose, and F1RM's security procedures seem to involve armoured cars and HWNSNBM being carried around in a gold-plated sedan chair. I suppose they could have captured Plamen Kralev or Ricardo Teixeira, but nobody would have noticed - if I go missing, the news dries up.

What of the others? Right, Jim McNulty, none of you have heard of, but what I said about footballers - the pirates can't go capturing Wayne Rooney, can they, for reasons I've already said, and they didn't go for Chris Dagnall either, but chose to swipe one of his team-mates instead - the insurance policy on a defender from a bottom of the second division club, it's not very high, is it? Besides, he's Scottish, so they can understand him. I think with the "rent" video I mentioned earlier he said "Dinnae talk pish, ye are whoring yersel's tae weeuns wi' nae money and broadband internet, whitever that is..." and got a Glasgow kiss for his troubles, and that hasn't cleared up yet, so he's back at Barnsley and straight onto the treatment table. Elliot Vernon was, seemingly, in on the act all along, judging by the way he talked with the pirates as if he'd known them for years, and they even offered to share some of their rum with him. And Louis Theroux, well, you know the time Neil and Christine Hamilton were arrested just at the time he was staying with them making one of his documentaries, and they all denied it was a set-up? Draw your own conclusions. There's no such thing as bad publicity, they say...

So the shipyard - there's something of an underground complex in there that very few people have heard of, all lit by torches that, even in the dim light, I could see were made our of old Running Wild LP covers, that one of the pirates said had been plundered from a record shop they had a disagreement with, cannons blazing and the owner was made to walk the plank into a fountain in the middle of Coatbridge, though Elliot got him drunk later and he admitted they were stolen from a car boot sale just down the road. I reckon this underground hovel is their rehearsal space, that they've made a bar in that is run by a middle-aged woman called Nancy. Did I say bar? Actually, it's just a fridge and a couple of upturned beer crates, but you get the idea. Nancy is very generous with the ale, though - I mean, Tennent's Super - and when the pirates got ratarsed one night they said it'd be a great idea to actually hijack a boat and set sail on the seven seas, though two of them seemed to be more concerned about the lack of wi-fi internet they'd get out there and tried to convincde Chris, the ringleader, to stay back in Glasgow so they could keep watching Facebook. Anyway, they waved some plastic cutlasses at us that looked suspiciously like they'd been bought from the Pirates Of The Caribbean section of the local Disney Store, loaded us all on board, and there was a crew willing to help them - hardly "hijacking", more like "Chris called Napalm Records and got them to hire a cruise ship" and I distinctly heard the words "we're goin' tae film it for a DVD, this is goin' tae make us enough tae keep us in Buckie for life!"

And so, off we went across the Atlantic, in the height of luxury. Just me, the pirates, Elliot, Jim, Louis... and about 100 others who were all on the same Caribbean cruise. I say "the height of luxury", it was for them - that's the pirates and Elliot, who all went first class, I got a cabin with the other two. And let me tell you, that Louis Theroux never lets go. Even at three at night he'd be coming up with difficult questions to ask us, I mean, he'd never met us before, how could he have known Jim had a kidney removed, and why did he ask if he'd eaten it afterwards? How did he know about that time I (allegedly) got drunk on sake with Toshio Suzuki and went trawling through Tokyo's Red Light district and ended up in a capsule hotel with a traffic cone, an inflatable geisha girl, some false cat ears and two dozen of the most disturbing Manga comics I have ever seen in my life? (It wasn't Tokyo, though, it was Osaka, so he's not infallible.) After two weeks trapped in that cabin I told him to bathplug off and interview the pirates instead, and we never saw him for another three days. No idea what the pirates themselves did, the times I saw Elliot he'd usually be entertaining the crowds in the karaoke bar with some of his own compositions, and it doesn't matter what instrument was at hand, he could play it near-perfectly, including the rare Peruvian ear-flute. I didn't even think that was possible.

As you've all heard, Sir Bernie caught wind of what was happening, and the pirates caught wind of that, and apparently bribed the real captain of the ship to fly the Scottish saltire and the Jolly Roger from the mast instead of whatever flag of convenience they were using, and a bottle of Austrian 80% Stroh rum was all they needed, because that stuff's really hard to get hold of anywhere that doesn't speak German (and they'd picked up a crate last time they were on tour there). I think the "chase" across the Atlantic was more Sir Bernie flexing his wallet than any burning desire to get me back, the man does like to show off he's "considerably richer than yow" all the time, and even puts on the Birmingham accent for it, even though he doesn't know where Birmingham is. The accordion "cannons" were mostly there for show, and I reckon Napalm Records had them pre-installed, knowing what was about to happen, and as for one of Sir Bernie's speedboats that was smashed to smithereens... well, what do you think will happen when the captain has just been bribed with a bottle of nuclear-strength rum? By the time the speedboats turned up he could barely see and had other crew members yanking on the wheel just to keep the ship going in a straight line.

Elliot Vernon's six new albums that he wrote while in the shipyard and on the boat will be released when he's recorded them all, which will probably be next Thursday, if he's not too busy writing another one. Running Wild will be playing a few festivals this summer, and the Scottish pirates won't because Napalm can't afford it this summer. Louis Theroux's documentary about "Terror On The High Seas" might get shown on Dave at two in the morning, because the BBC have said they can't be bothered to run it and there's too much product placement in it anyway. And I find myself hammering on the door to the Scottish pirates' bunker begging to be let back in and be captured again when I saw what the standard of F1RMGP journalism has slid to! Really, I'd rather not comb through the claptrap that's coming out of Autosport Japan these days - Jimmy Allinson can do that, and I have to say cheers to him for filling in while I was gone. I mean... "Team Viking"? Who are they? It's not Viking Racing, that I have no doubt, as their factory was never on the coast. Stories of 1600 bhp engines from Suzuki, well, we all know no dyno has yet been built that can measure those figures. Gazzetta dello Sport, I respect them, but they've really got to tighten up their security measures so there are no more false reports about any drivers who have signed for any other teams. Some Publication is rather easier on the eye, although there's far too much about James Davies who's from a different universe, and if I ever see this Don Pentecost bloke turn up at an F1RMGP meeting I will punch him. Rest assured that I, Marktin Brundell, the original and best, am back, and I will continue to deliver the news straight from the Series Management and sort the journalistic flotsam from the jetsam, though I'll be zooming in especially on those occasions where the press has got it right.

Meanwhile, I hear of some more developments in both Scandinavia and Italy. I must investigate.

Posted: **10 Jul 2012, 07:12**

Doc Nightmare, in his anthrax letter against Japanese Autosport wrote:Autosport Japan Editor
[address]

Dear Editor,

YOU HAVE MADE A PUBLIC LIE AGAINST VIKING RACING. YOU HAVE DRAGGED F1RMGP INTO DISREPUTE. EVEN THE GENERIC TIMES IS BETTER THAN BS YOU WRITE.

ANTHRAX WILL BATHPLUG OFF YOU IN 3, 2, 1.... (yes, this letter contains anthrax)

Regards
Doc Nightmare

Viking Racing HQ security guard, in team's press conference, wrote:Hey, our team's is Viking Racing. Not Team Viking. To my knowledge Bjorn Agen quit the con scene years ago (translation: he's arrested years ago). And the 'other rival newspaper[s] and magazine[s]' that claims to confirm the razing is The Generic Times, Some Hopelessly Inaccurate Tabloid, and Random Trash Tabloid. NOTHING ELSE. I mean no other newspapers and magazines has confirm the razing. Furthermore our factory is located NOT NEAR THE COAST. And furthermore... [publicocrap]

J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Tropico Grand Prix linked with F1RMGP?

One of two F1RWRS teams that failed to pre-qualify this year, Tropico, has been rumored to enter F1RMGP. In a recent press release El Presidente claims that he is considering F1RMGP if the team constantly fails in F1RWRS. No confirmation can be given from the team currently.

Posted: **10 Jul 2012, 19:16**

Corriere dello Sport wrote:Schiattarella to Alitalia Andrea Coloni, claims agent

The agent of Domenico Schiattarella, Nicola Domizzi, claims that his client is only a few pages of paperwork away from securing a drive for Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni for the 2015 F1RMGP season, and that they were giving him a generous contract to boot.

"We are making fast progress with negotiations," Domizzi claimed. "They are clearly very serious about their effort, as they offered Domenico a very handsome contract upfront. My job was made very easy because they offered such a great deal from the off!"

"But of course, from a sporting perspective, this is an excellent deal. SAC were already a competitive team, and now with works Lancia backing behind them, they are championship contenders. I expect Domenico will be fighting for wins from the start."

Scuderia Alitalia Andrea Coloni were unavailable for comment at the time of printing.

Posted: **11 Jul 2012, 23:18**

Sport-Auto.fr wrote:Well, it's time for our new round-up of informations found by our teams of reporters leaded by the half-senil..., I mean our respected colleague John-Luis Moncet and yours truly, FIRMGP permanent journalist here Jonathan.L [my avatar, here]. Like always, we'll stop at nothing to inform you about the great circus of the FIRMGP and we're going anywhere to dig it even the toilets...(it's true)

But this time, we will do it by answering questions of our visitors.

The former Toleman drivers currently don't have a place to drive next season, will they find one?
(Eric B. from Viry-Chatillon)

Sadly, it doesn't seem the case, they don't have much choices, and there are really a big concurrence for those spots.

Ralph Firman was on the list of some teams searching a solid second driver, and the most interested would be Dome, who knows of course about the "Irish" credentials in Japan, but the team have been criticized in Japan recently, while their first season have been very solid, the team is not as popular as the two others Japanese teams. And the reason is quite simple, no Japanese drivers on the team ( and everybody knows about the nationalism of Japan), and the very rubbish performance of Naspetti have attracted some comments from Japanese fans about a waste of place and a Japanese driver would've been much better for the team. So, there have been some external pressure advising, if not ordering the team to at least engage a Japanese driver alongside Apicella, whose good performances during his FIRMGP career, let him with a good reputation with the fans. the Japanese favorite for the place is Naoki Hattori, others have still a chance like Taki Inoue or Toranosuke Takagi (my personal favorite).

Allan McNish, is much less in demand, in fact only two teams, according to our reporters, have officially contacted him. the first is SPAM, being one of the long list of drivers in the tablets of the two parts of the team. but the concurrence is hard and numerous (more below), the other team is Stefan, still searching for fool... I mean new drivers, but the contacts have been initiated by Toyota, when they were still Stefan's engine supplier. Now that we know about Milos Pavlovic being the new second driver in Stefan, Allan will probably miss out the next season.

Who will be the drivers signed by SPAM? (by many people)

(sigh...) no confirmation of any names officially, but someone in our team have found the list of potential drivers who have at one moment put their names for the two drives. How he did it was a big commotion in the redaction, and he had taken some verbal lashing by yours truly and a ass-kicking too by the big ones above (after all, it's not really advised to sleep with a secretary to find news...)

we have a long, long list of candidates and many of them are tracked by Oak-Pescarolo too (the French mostly), so here it goes:

Sébastien Bourdais *
Jean-Marc Gounon
François Hesnault former and forgettable AGS driver in the 2011 season
Franck Lagorce *
Franck Montagny *
Jerôme d'Ambrosio (Belgium) who have another possible place in a new team.
Raul Boesel (Brazil) with the sponsorship of Cafe do Brasil
Luciano Burti (Brazil)
Tomas Enge (Czech Republic)
Fairuz Fauzy (Malaysia)
Piercarlo Ghinzani (Italy) who have since been engaged in another potential team.
José Maria Lopez (Argentina)
Tarso Marquès (Brazil)
Gaston Mazzacane (Argentina)
Allan McNish (Scotland)
Kazuki Nakajima (Japan) yes even him...

all * drivers are in contact with Oak-Pescarolo

Can you tell me about the situation in the top teams, concerning the drivers especially? ( Fernando R. from Lyon)

Currently, the only top teams who have an official full drivers line-up are Leyton House and Super Aguri, we have 1 seat vacant in Viking, Ice One, F1RM, SAAC, and two for the Forti team. and three drivers are source of many talks. They are Marko Asmer, Luca Badoer and Pedro Chaves who all have at least two team offers.

We know Asmer is source of a war bidding between the Nordic powerhouses, with F1RM distinctly behind, and given the rumors we've heard, the favorite seems to be Ice One.

Now, concerning Forti, the team directors have always declared than the ideal team would be an Italian driver and a Brazilian or at least a Portuguese-speaking driver, the team are trying to stop SAAC for trying to engage Luca Badoer and it seems to work for the moment, they have contacted Pedro Chaves too, who is very interested to drive here and is the first choice for the second place nominally on the team, because the Brazillian prospects are not very appealing besides maybe a return of Roberto Moreno wanting to have at least a good season in the series. We can throw the names of Pizzonia, Burti, Tarso Marquès, Bernoldi and Rosset, so few real good choices.

and for F1RM ? They're not really the first choices of the known targets of the team ( Asmer and Chaves), but there are some rumors of a possible return of a certain someone who've been aggravated by some words in the paddock that the series have progressed considerably in four years and with many top teams (at least seven and good midfield teams like Dome and AGS for example), and his titles victories have much less significiance than the last one by Einarsson for example, prompting a potential return of this guy whose name shall not be mentioned who would prove to the others that he's still the best in the series. It's not official but there are possiblities of something very big...

and for the other teams, we've heard about the possible signature of Oscar Larrauri for Eurobrun and of course the possible Schiattarella problem between SAAC and Simtek who have fallback solutions with David Brabham and Jean-Marc Gounon.

Do you have news about possible new teams? ( Michel V. from Le Mans)

Yes, there are some noises about possible new teams.

First, a team near finalized, it is the german team of Zakspeed, They have the car, the engine in-house and the drivers Piercarlo Ghinzani and Dutch driver Huub Rothengatter. They are still testing waiting for their acceptance in the series.

Two other projects are moving slowly forward, if not for 2015, at least 2016 sure. The first is the French project of Pescarolo who have joined with Oak Racing with a new project name of Team Oak-Pescarolo Sport. The car is nearly finished, they have an engine contract with Judd, but no drivers officially but some have already tried to race with prototypes of the car with results who would have placed them in a comfortable midfield, There are, thankfully few candidates, all French: Franck Lagorce, Sébastien Bourdais, Franck Montagny, Emmanuel Collard and Stéphane Sarrazin, and the first three are SPAM drivers candidates too.

The second one is the consequence of the Bathurst race at the End of the season, the surprising win of the Belgian team ENB managed by Tony Gillet have given some ideas to race an entire season this time. there are plans of the car ( a beautiful red one) and possible drivers ( d'Ambrosio, Philippe Adams and Bas Leinders) but no engine. It's more a long-term project than anything but it must be noted.

We have heard of some projects like Midland with Christijan Albers or an Australian Holden team with the Brabham brothers David and Gary and a possible revival of RAM, but it's still very vague.

I've heard of a possible drivers line-up of the same family, is it true? ( from Daniel B. de Lille)

The answer would be... Yes.

There are at least three possibilities of drivers for the same family teaming together for the next season

for the first two, it's a fallback if their first choice don't choose their team, you probably guessed it, we're talking about the two Nordic feuding teams.
So, depending of the choice of Asmer, we could have a father-son team with Ice One with Jan and Kevin Magnussen, and a brother team for Viking with Þorvaldur Einarsson and his brother Guðmundur ( if he can be convinced to abandon for a time the rally)

The last one, who have more chances of being true, is a uncle-nephew team. We're 80% sure that the roster team of ATS Rial will be Joachim Winkelhock and his nephew Markus, known for having led during 6 laps on the Nürburgring in 2007 driving a Spyker.

Posted: **14 Jul 2012, 10:43**

More news from the Silly Season

Finally, some action at Forti!

Tired of waiting for Luca Badoer to make up his mind about whether or not he'll be driving for them next year, Forti have sprung into action and rescued Adrian Sutil from the motorsport scrapheap. With Genii Team Malaysia, Toleman and David Price confined to history, thus severing ties with both Genii Capital and Renault, the way was clear for him to join up with F1RMGP in the hope that it will salvage his career - it has already worked wonders for Rrrrrmmmnn Grrrrjjjjnnn, after all. Other than the prospect of ugly altercations in Chinese nightclubs being totally removed, especially as this series doesn't go to China, Sutil also brings some useful sponsorship with him; his rollerblading prowess has ensured that Roces have re-signed with Forti as a major sponsor, the way they were during their ill-fated F1 stint. The fact that everyone who ever owned Roces quads actually wanted Bauer Turbos is considered to be irrelevant by both Sutil and Forti, but the fact that Bauer sponsored Spyker last year is not lost on them...

Sutil has already been assigned the #12 car, with a number of candidates well on the radar for the lead drive, though the team are hoping it will be Badoer after all.

Happy families?

Daniel B. de Lille's article does have a slight bit of truth in it. Ice One Racing have, for a start, considered Kevin Magnussen as part of their line-up - but not for the Main F1RMGP Series. "We intend to win this series at the first attempt," said a spokesman for the team, sounding very much like a human speak-your-weight machine. "And though we rate Kevin as a driver, he needs to develop his skills in the lower formulae. At the end of this season, though, we think he'll be good enough for a drive at the Bathurst Enduro alongside his father, and Marko Asmer, because we are going to get that automatic place for the series winners." When it was pointed out that the team seemed confident to the point of cocky about securing the services of a certain Estonian, the spokesman pulled a woolly hat over his head with strings dangling down each side, brandished an axe, and shouted "PERKELE!" so loudly that a ton of snow fell off all the trees within a 100-foot radius. The journalist in question backed away slowly.

Guðmundur Einarsson will not be driving for Viking Racing as he continues his rally career - in the hope that the WRC will collapse completely under the weight of its own incompetence, and a new and highly competitive rallying series will be run under Formula One Rejects management. The 26-year-old Icelander says he hopes to emulate his older brother's championship once the series is set up, and has personally thrown his weight behind Marko Asmer getting the second Viking drive. Ice One will have something to say about both of those, especially since they started as a rallying team.

And finally, over at ATS Rial, Joachim Winkelhock has said that this will be his last season of F1RMGP competition, intending to hand over his drive for 2016 to his nephew, Markus. Though the French report wanted to see them driving together, that cannot happen unless the second driver that the team have their eye on to partner the elder Winkelhock keeps his driving style exactly the way it always was, and crashes so hard it puts him out for the season. Nobody has yet speculated on who this German driver might be, but it's certainly not Nick Heidfeld.

Posted: **14 Jul 2012, 11:24**

EXTRA BONUS NEWS: what's this?

It's a spy shot of some kind...

Posted: **15 Jul 2012, 08:22**

dinizintheoven wrote:EXTRA BONUS NEWS: what's this?

It's a spy shot of some kind...

HRT, of course!

By the way, I guess the 2015 season will start when F1RWRS is doing their testing, right?

Posted: **15 Jul 2012, 08:23**

FMecha wrote:
dinizintheoven wrote:EXTRA BONUS NEWS: what's this?

It's a spy shot of some kind...

HRT, of course!

By the way, I guess the 2015 season will start when F1RWRS is doing their testing, right?

The season will start when it starts :roll:

Posted: **15 Jul 2012, 13:47**

FMecha wrote:HRT, of course!

More correctly, Hispania, as separated from the current Thesan Capital-run F1 team.

Anyone recognise the actual car?

Posted: **15 Jul 2012, 14:13**

dinizintheoven wrote:
FMecha wrote:HRT, of course!

More correctly, Hispania, as separated from the current Thesan Capital-run F1 team.

Anyone recognise the actual car?

Err, is it the 2011 HRT?

Posted: **15 Jul 2012, 15:08**

Bingo - stripped down and with all the extraneous junk removed, of course. See, now you all know why Hispania got their place on this year's grid...

Posted: **21 Jul 2012, 16:26**

(Real-life interlude: the chances are I'll post some news bits every time this thread drops onto page 2, until the new season's ready to kick off.)

Marktin Brundell's latest musings

ATS Rial's destruction derby

Teams up and down the paddock, brace yourselves for some hefty repair bills next season. ATS Rial's new driver, replacing Volker Weidler, is he who makes Pastor Maldonado look like a paranoid granny - Michael Ammermüller. Nicknamed "Hammermüller" due to his relentless, reckless driving style, he will stop at nothing to barge the German squad further ahead than they have ever been previously, and will most likely leave a trail of destruction and wreckage in his wake. If Günther Schmidt still had any measurable blood pressure, you can guarantee it'd be rising after the first free practice session in Brazil.

Forti-fied

Pedro Chaves was getting very fed up waiting for Il Barone Rampante to announce who would be partnering Gabriele Tarquini at SAAC next season, while Forti were getting equally impatient wondering whether or not the Scotalian team would attempt to sign Luca Badoer. Hence, the two ever-more-frustrated parties have decided that enough waiting is enough, and teamed up together. This way, Forti get a proven F1RMGP driver to spearhead their challenge, while Adrian Sutil adapts to the slower and unwieldier machinery than he was used to in F1. And as one door closes, so does another...

Formula 1 Rejects Motorsport Given Preference?

...at least, that was the less-than-complimentary backronym running round the paddock when it was revealed that Sir Bernard Shekelslike had been trying to persuade HWNSNBM to drive the second F1RM and that he would do absolutely anything to see it happen and have all three champions racing against each other. HWNSNBM, though, has said no - he's saving all his driving efforts for the Bathurst Enduro where he knows F1RM are guaranteed an entry anyway. What he has said is that F1RM have signed their second driver, without saying who it is - and contrary to all rumours, it is someone who is new to the series. So we know that Marko Asmer and Luca Badoer are both out of the running for this seat.

...so what now for Badoer?

The Italian driver must be hoping that his nationality and racing record counts for something when it comes to Il Barone Rampante making their decisions. However, as Vanina Ickx knows after being odds-on for one of the Minardi seats, nothing is certain with this team. What other options does he have? For a start, one of Viking and Ice One are going to lose the services of Marko Asmer - it's now down to those two to have a private tug-of-war over the Estonian, and neither have shown the slightest interest in making alternative plans. Dome still have a free seat, which various French publications have linked with Ralph Firman, Naoki Hattori, Taki Inoue and Tora Takagi - though Inoue's inglorious exit after the 2013 season pretty much counts him out. Dome have always looked past the overt Japanese nationalism that surrounds Super Aguri, so a Japanese driver is not a priority and they'd scramble over hot coals to secure Badoer's services if they thought he could be drawn in. Also vaguely in the running is Simtek, who have already promised their second seat to Domenico Schiattarella, though with him linked to SAAC, it'd almost be a straight swap if he went there and Badoer ended up at Simtek.

SPAM have signed absolutely nothing yet, being a bunch of French trade unionists who are always on strike, but they've always preferred French drivers - witness the treatment of Vincenzo Sospiri after the Prost-DAMS merger. EuroBrun are hanging on by their fingernails, and would represent something of a "reject" choice given that the only drivers that are linked with them are those who have been cast off by other squads...

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 07:27**

Wanted to write a new restart the rumor mill, but got no idea. Anyone want to write another rumor news?

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 09:26**

FMecha wrote:Wanted to write a new restart the rumor mill, but got no idea. Anyone want to write another rumor news?

The Moon wrote:Plus One for F1RMGP?

Plus One Group, formerly PSRT, lead by CEO Luke Knight, have announced intentions to enter a lot of motorsport categories recently. The team is known to have a large amount of money thanks to American commitments. Already in the F1RICS, Plus One has lodged applications to enter the F1RWRS, the F2RWRS, and the F3RWRS in the past month, but a sensational announcement from Luke Knight today indicated his intentions to enter a fourth. "Given that Plus One will not be able to compete in any tier of the F1RWRS until 2016 at the earliest, I felt it was time to branch out to other motorsports. F1RMGP in my view is a viable solution, and offers the same high level of competition as the F1RWRS." The team will probably race under the banner of Good Call Racing, as Plus One Group is heavily sponsored by Fosters beer. Entries into F1RMGP do not come lightly, but Knight announced a shocking proposal. "We are halfway through negotiations to buy-out Spyker. The Dutch were dissapointed with 2014 and wanted out, so we offered them a solution. We are buying the team for £1,000,000, 1,00 pairs of high-quality clogs, 2 windmills, and a cannabis cafe in downtown Amsterdam." No word was mentioned on retaining spyker drivers, but out of contract Ralph Firman has been linked to the team. "He is a good driver, and we would like him aboard for 2015. We have spoken to him about the Plus One venture and he was extremely excited about the prospect of coming to drive for us." A statement from series management was not available when going to press.

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 10:40**

J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Spyker insists team not for sale

Following an announcement from the shady racing organisation Plus One to buy out Spyker, a spokesman for the team has insisted that the team is not for sale. "Last year isn't that bad. We may just only scored two point(s) last season, but we won't pull the plug that quick", insisted him. The Spyker management has also echoed the same, and added "2014 was our year of 'wake-up' and struggle", followed with a publicocrap.

No words has been said from Plus One regarding this news currently.

OT: Pasta, check your user talk page at wiki.

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 10:47**

The Moon wrote:Plus One to go it alone in F1RMGP

Luke Knight has indicated that Plus One still want to enter the F1RMGP, even though Spyker turned down what was a very good deal. "I am a huge fan of this series" said Knight "and I feel that it would be hugely beneficial for Plus One to take part. We have signed Ralph Firman as a driver, all we need is an entry. F1RMGP have indicated that the number of teams could rise this year, and I feel Plus One fits the bill perfectly."

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 11:02**

An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 11:05**

FMecha wrote:
An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

The connection runs deeper than that, first it was Kostas22 trying to get in to every single series and now it is PastaMaldonado.

I would probably do the same thing if I could be bothered writing a half-decent press release. :lol:

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 12:58**

An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:It's not possible. They don't have the history, it is a prerequisite that teams in F1RMGP must have some sort of prior reputation to enter the sport. PlusOne is brand new, so they can't enter. Our origins go all the way back to Formula One in 1977 with Team Merzario, and we've entered in partnership with an existing team who have taken strides to improve since the first season of F1RMGP.

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 13:24**

An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:It's not possible. They don't have the history, it is a prerequisite that teams in F1RMGP must have some sort of prior reputation to enter the sport. PlusOne is brand new, so they can't enter. Our origins go all the way back to Formula One in 1977 with Team Merzario, and we've entered in partnership with an existing team who have taken strides to improve since the first season of F1RMGP.

Luke Knight wrote: That may be true, Mr.Lindsay, as of yet PlusOne Group does not have quite an illustrius history as Il Barone Rampante. But, as for saying we have no hope of entering, well, that may not be so true. David Price Racing,Shekel Racing, Ice One, and Viking all have no prior connections to top-tier categories of motorsport. Plus One has far greater credibility and far more professionalism than David Price, Shekel, or the rumoured Team Wales will ever have. It is my view that the series will be boosted by the prescence of outside competition, Mr Lindsay.

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 14:31**

An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:It's not possible. They don't have the history, it is a prerequisite that teams in F1RMGP must have some sort of prior reputation to enter the sport. PlusOne is brand new, so they can't enter. Our origins go all the way back to Formula One in 1977 with Team Merzario, and we've entered in partnership with an existing team who have taken strides to improve since the first season of F1RMGP.

Luke Knight wrote: That may be true, Mr.Lindsay, as of yet PlusOne Group does not have quite an illustrius history as Il Barone Rampante. But, as for saying we have no hope of entering, well, that may not be so true. David Price Racing,Shekel Racing, Ice One, and Viking all have no prior connections to top-tier categories of motorsport. Plus One has far greater credibility and far more professionalism than David Price, Shekel, or the rumoured Team Wales will ever have. It is my view that the series will be boosted by the prescence of outside competition, Mr Lindsay.

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:Hate to break it to you, but you don't have history in, well, anything. Shekel Racing is the new name of DPR, who have been in the racing business since 1976. So they're not exactly a team with no history. As for Ice One and Viking, well, given how F1RMGP is more popular than pretty much any sport other than Handball, Bandy and Brännboll in Nordic regions, there is an exceptional reason for them to be here. Your team doesn't cater to such a demographic though, so that exception won't let you in. Ironically, Polestar Racing probably would.

Posted: **29 Jul 2012, 15:38**

An journalist from J.O.U.R.N.A.L wrote:Mr Lindsay, we heard that Pole Star/Plus One is attempting to follow your steps in F1RMGP. What's your opinion on this?

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:It's not possible. They don't have the history, it is a prerequisite that teams in F1RMGP must have some sort of prior reputation to enter the sport. PlusOne is brand new, so they can't enter. Our origins go all the way back to Formula One in 1977 with Team Merzario, and we've entered in partnership with an existing team who have taken strides to improve since the first season of F1RMGP.

Luke Knight wrote: That may be true, Mr.Lindsay, as of yet PlusOne Group does not have quite an illustrius history as Il Barone Rampante. But, as for saying we have no hope of entering, well, that may not be so true. David Price Racing,Shekel Racing, Ice One, and Viking all have no prior connections to top-tier categories of motorsport. Plus One has far greater credibility and far more professionalism than David Price, Shekel, or the rumoured Team Wales will ever have. It is my view that the series will be boosted by the prescence of outside competition, Mr Lindsay.

Alasdair Lindsay wrote:Hate to break it to you, but you don't have history in, well, anything. Shekel Racing is the new name of DPR, who have been in the racing business since 1976. So they're not exactly a team with no history. As for Ice One and Viking, well, given how F1RMGP is more popular than pretty much any sport other than Handball, Bandy and Brännboll in Nordic regions, there is an exceptional reason for them to be here. Your team doesn't cater to such a demographic though, so that exception won't let you in. Ironically, Polestar Racing probably would.

Luke Knight wrote: Aah, Mr.Lindsay, musn't we all start from somewhere? PSRT/Plus One/Good Call is less than 5 years old, and we are still acquiring our history. However, time and tide wait for no man, Mr.Lindsay.

FMecha: Check your email

Posted: **30 Jul 2012, 00:27**

Rumour has it that Marktin Brundell is about to be captured by Scottish pirates again, if the sight of him buying a train ticket to Glasgow, whistling Wenches And Mead merrily to himself, and stashing a couple of bottles of Buckfast in his suitcase is anything to go by. But just before he goes...

Polestar: "Do they mean us?"

Polestar Racing, the team usually known for racing a bio-ethanol powered Volvo C30 in the World Touring Car Championship, arrrrr slightly bewildered by being linked to F1RMGP. "Sure, we would do it, possibly," said an unknown spokesman with a musical accent, "but we have no experience in single-seaters, bio-ethanol is not available and Volvo don't make engines for the series." When the spokesman's timbers were shivered by pointing out that Koenigsegg supply Swedish engines to Viking and Ice One, and Forti run their cars on bio-ethanol, the spokesman looked like he'd just been given a case of rum, and added: "OK, so we might give it a shot, probably with Robert Dahlgren driving as part of the package." Volvo have yet to comment, but Koenigsegg have said they're working at maximum capacity, with Ice One and Viking both saying that anyone else trying to plunder their engine supply will be given a good keelhauling.

EuroBrun on life support

The beleagured Swiss team, which has a supply of Neotech engines but no drivers so far and little hope of getting hold of anyone competitive have nonetheless been trying to secure their future in F1RMGP by talking to Emanuele Naspetti. Discarded by Dome last year, he is unlikely to find a drive with anything other than a team on the slide or already at the bottom of the heap, but if EuroBrun can stay alive, maybe they'll be a quarter-decent bet. Naspetti is said to cost a fraction of the pieces of eight to run as a whole host of other available drivers.

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

Down at Shekel Racing's headquarters, Adrian Shankar has been preparing for the upcoming season by training hard on Codemasters' Grand Prix 2 for the ZX Spectrum. He claims to have beaten the game on his first attempt, but can never get past the third circuit when called on to do so by anyone else. Chanoch Nissany reminds everyone he shares a birthday with Fernando Alonso.

SPAM are no closer to getting their house in order for the upcoming season, and are the only team left (aren't they?) with two seats left to fill and nobody even remotely linked to them. Word is, though, Venturi might be on board to build the car, although someone else said it was Alpine - a Renault-based company, so what would they be doing with a team powered by Peugeot?

Sir Bernard Shekelslike is still considering the application of FIRST Racing to join the series more seriously than the other candidates, for reasons which he will not specify. But knowing him, it'll be sponsorship.

Malicious rumours suggest Dr Francesca Rimmer has had a face-lift so she now looks like she is sucking only two lemons at any one time instead of three. Nobody is brave enough to venture to her lair and find out.

And now, that's it for a while. Do what you want 'cos a pirate is free, you are a pirate!

Posted: **30 Jul 2012, 01:49**

The International Beacon wrote:MARKTIN BRUNDELL PIRATE KIDNAPPINGS HOAX???
EXCLUSIVE interview with Brundell follower!!
Looks like this time, the pirates were not to blame.

Marktin Brundell, the Irish lad who frequently reports on the F1RMGP (Formula One Rejectful Managers Grand Prix), was spotted by a witness where he was "kidnapped" in Glasgow. Turns out Brundell was just at his cottage with his cousins from West Africa (who also has happens to own a nice cottage in Glasgow).

The witness in question, who claims to be a deranged fan of Brundell, was fearful of the words that Brundell was kidnapped. Shortly after another tabloid (which shall not be named) reported that Brundell was kidnapped by pirates in Glasgow, the witness knew he had to investigate. "I had to save him, even if it meant death," said the witness while he shivered up and curled into a ball on his chair.

Shortly after looking for a good part of a week, he found a few people having beer at the dock of Brundell's cottage. Curious, the witness came to investigate what was going on, and perhaps get a drink or two (he was without editable food for five days), when he accidentally bumped one of the beers. He then saw Mr. Brundell, who had a beard growing on him and, according to the witness, was "very drunk." Brundell then went on to call the witness a "caffler," then rambled on incoherently, then stated that the witness was "as sharp as a beach ball," and finally told the witness to "away an pull ur wire" before the witness ran away from the cottage, where he hitchhiked his way back to Glasgow by travelling on a tour bus.

"It was all a ruse," said the witness. "He ought to be ashamed of himself, for making me go out for five days and all along he was at his cottage getting pissing drunk."

The kidnapping has been very pressing news, but the main part is, we never knew Brundell was an Irishman.

Written by Damon Coulthard

Grand Prix Rejects

F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!

Re: F1RMGP 2014: may the Fourth Season be with us!