James Allen vs. The Australians

[Captain Hammer]

We all know that for the past two years, James Allen has been one of the Most Punchable Men in Formula One given his ability to fawn over Hamilton even when the McLaren driver is nowhere in sight and his habit of talking over the top of Martin Brundle. But personally, I think the Australian commentators of Greg Rust and Cameron McConville are even worse. Here is a collection of their Greatest Hits from the past few years:

- Assuring the Australian public that Mark Webber's victory was a sure thing in both Melbourne and Sepang and that the Brawns, Williams and Toyotas did not pose a significant threat, even after those three teams utterly dominated and Jenson Button won in Melbourne. At least Hamilton actually did stand a chance when Allen did it in 2007 and 2008.
- Cutting off the BBC's commentary in Sepang when the race was halted, and taking the opportunity to talk mostly about Webber.
- Cutting to a commecial break when, in their own words, "Things are just heating up here in Sepang".
- Cameron McConville commentating as if there is no difference between driving a V8 Supercar and a Formula One racer. He might have had a few laps of Motegi in an RA108, but it doesn't make him an expert.
- Treating Legard and Brundle the way Legard and Brundle treat Kravitz and Goodman: namely, people they'll occasionally cut to.
- Asking Peter Windsor infinite variations on questions about Mark Webber and ignoring the more interesting aspects of the event. In other words, generally wasting his time and his knowledge.
- Referring to Brawn, Williams and Toyota as the "Diffuser Three" and making out that everyone in the paddock is using the name they came up with.
- Trying to explain the new rules for 2009, only to cut to Brundle and Legard, who make things much clearer (and make less errors).
- Simply calling out what they see - like "And there's Kimi Raikkonen on the extreme wets!" - as opposed to Brundle, who will detail why Ferrari chose them and the implications of them having made the right and the wrong choice (ie explaining why an extreme wet won't last in dry conditions and what would happen if he were on worn extreme wets when the rain comes down).
- Treating their audience like idiots when the delayed telecast generally means only seasoned fans will tune in.
- Giving no new information in the introduction; their analysis is generally limited to talking about the last race and how Mark Webber will do in this one, usually implying once again that his victory is guaranteed if they don't come out and say it anyway.
- Fundamental inability to describe the circuit in detail during flying laps; for instance, turns twelve, thirteen and fourteen at Sepang are interesting because no two drivers have the same line through those three corners, so it's critical to a lap. All Rust and McConville could tell us was that it was near the end of the lap.
- During the inteviews with drivers in the build-up to the Australian Grand Prix, they asked the drivers some of the dumbest questions I have ever heard out of a commentator's mouth. Webber's reactions in particular were hilarious.
- Calling Vettel's car as being Webber's even when the on-screen graphic reads "Vettel" and the helmet is clearly the German's.
- Ignoring the fact that Webber had a far surperior car to Hamilton when the Australian passed him and instead entoning that Webber had just passed the World Champion.
- Being overly-critical of the other drivers when they make mistakes. The fact that they don't do it to Webber - and indeed, ignore his errors, even when they're worse than the competition - just goes to show they're obviously making Webber out to be a sure thing of victory.
- They have, on occasion, been known to correct Martin Brundle.
- Buzzwords. I have heard entire sentences out of their mouths that are little more than a string of buzzwords put together in roughly the right order but mean nothing. Sometimes they even do this during interviews with drivers.
- Interrupting the commentary from the BBC or ITV to update Australia on Mark Webber's progress. This is generally because Webber is the car on-screen and Brundle and Allen/Legard didn't mention him straight away.
- Showing absolutely no imagination in the way they commentate; ie referring to Brawn as being a "fairytale weekend" and other such drivel.

In short, I think they're idiots. They have a very limited knowledge of the sport, probably because they spent so much time commentating touring cars. It doesn't help that they actually get to see the race beforehand because of the delayed telecast; I'm amazed they manage to avoid spoilers. James Allen proved that incessant patriotism is a flaw you can expect from commentators. I always thought it was annoying because he was commentating for the world, but he had Brundle to keep him in check. Here, though, it's worse. Mark Webber is the unluckiest man in Formula One: he's been robbed of good finishes by other drivers making mistakes like Vettel at Fuji 2007 or by unreliable hardware like Australia in 2006, but the Australians absolutely insist that his victory will come in the race they happen to be commentating. They're not so touchy-feely about it that you start to wonder if there's a history between them and Webber; rather, they're like the guy at the circus sideshows who announces he has proof of alien life just inside his booth, proof that will haunt and shock you until your dying day, but if you pay five dollars to have a look, it's really just a severly deformed cow fetus suspended upside down in blue liquid.

Ten points if you know where I got that analogy from.

[Bort]

Why would anyone watch the delayed Channel 10 telecast when you can see it live on Channel One?

[BB01]

That's quite a rant but I can't say you're off the mark in the slightest. They drive me mad, too. Whether or not they are actually worse than James Allen is debatable but boy, its a battle of the titans.

McConville is the worst for mine because he should know better. After all, he's a driver. But he seems to believe he should be in the F1 paddock ahead of the drivers that are there. He always gets stuck into drivers for making mistakes, but if you've seen him drive, you'll know he isn't one to throw stones on that front.

The cliches/buzzwords they use over and over are probably just reflective of the fact that they have nothing intelligent to say but they can't hide behind the fact that they commentate on the touring cars because they don't. That's channel 7 these days. But really, it was like this when Bill Woods was commentator. He knew nothing, either. And when it was on channel 9, Darrel Eastlake was just a big-mouth. AJ was ok but mostly because he would make a sarcastic comment every now and then.

...But don't expect it to change anytime soon. This is the lip service we've come to expect from Australian F1 coverage.

[Captain Hammer]

Why would anyone watch the delayed Channel 10 telecast when you can see it live on Channel One?

'Cause some areas don't get it; we were getting messages that it was unavaiable to Souhtern Cross Ten viewers all through the Australian Grand Prix. Hell, I don't even get Channel Seven ... but then, no-one in my town does because the reception is so very poor.

[Bort]

'Cause some areas don't get it; we were getting messages that it was unavaiable to Souhtern Cross Ten viewers all through the Australian Grand Prix. Hell, I don't even get Channel Seven ... but then, no-one in my town does because the reception is so very poor.

Damn that sucks. Channel One is an absolute Godsend to Australian F1 fans. Never again will we need to wait for 'Big Brother/Dancing With The Stars/Insert Other Stupid Channel 10 Reality Show Here' to finish.

[Stormwind]

I live in Canada, so we get the British feed. All I can say is, I so miss Murray Walker, James Allen is such a tosser I wanted to punch him on numerous occasions. Thankfully, the local French Canadian commentators on RDS (Reseau des Sports) are surprisingly good and at times even witty and funny while remaining unbiased. Even when Jacques Villeneuve was doing well, they didn't fawn over him over every little second of the grand prix. They got a tad more excited when he would win a grand prix then if it were anyone else, but it's forgiveable.

James Allen though..... ugh... Martin Brundle is the reason why I still listen to the English feed, And I could tell he wanted to give a knuckle sandwich to Allen on more then one occasion. Hockenheim 2005 (2006?) Kimi Raikkonen's McLaren loses it's rear wing and runs fast off track, reminicient to Schumachers 1999 accident that broke his leg.

Allen: AND RAIKKONEN RUNS RIGHT INTO THE WALL, I'm sure the German fans will be pleased with that

Brundle: *beat*..... Uhhhh that's not really fair James.

Why does this tosser still have a job, I'll never know...

[Nuppiz]

Of course, almost none of the commentators can be completely impartial, but talking like that when someone crashes sounds quite a bit nasty! Good thing we don't have that kind of commentators, at least they express their worry about the health of the driver(s) who crashed every time a bad accident occurs. Based on what I've read here, you have awful commentators both in the UK and Australia ('cept for Brundle and McCarthy of course).

[TomWazzleshaw]

Hockenheim 2005 (2006?) Kimi Raikkonen's McLaren loses it's rear wing and runs fast off track, reminicient to Schumachers 1999 accident that broke his leg.

From memory that was Hockenheim 2004 actually.

Anyways time to contribute my 2 cents to this topic.
Since in Australia was get the Australian Pre Race Coverage and the World Feed I would have to say that the Australian Commentators are worse than James Allen. Atleast James had some clue as to what was going on (Remember that he was a pit reporter before Walker retired) which the Australian commentators lack.

The only major similarity I can see between the 2 is their annoying ability to fawn over their favourite drivers (Hamilton and Webber respectivly) which makes me want to mute the commentery most of the time.

[runningboots]

Jeez, I never realised the hatred for James Allen transended every continent

Does anyone know if he is actually working now, other than his own website ? http://www.jamesallenonf1.com/

[Barbazza]

I have a horrible feeling he may turn up on the BTCC coverage, assuming ITV are still bothering with it (they should be!) as Ted Kravitz was the anchor last year, and did a pretty good job. If so, I would expect to see that useless Goodman woman fawning over more drivers as well while giving us her 'insights'.

[midgrid]

At the first round last weekend, it was Steve Rider and Louise Goodman presenting the coverage, with the usual commentary duo of Ben Edwards and Tim Harvey. No James Allen in sight.

[Barbazza]

I've missed a round already? Shows you how much ITV care about promoting it, even though it's been more entertaining than F1 most years recently. I was right about Goodman though....

[Debaser]

The best commentary is on British radio. David Croft and Anthony Davidson (F1 Reject alert) do the commentary on every session and are informative while still being occasionaly witty and entertaining. Brundle's great on the TV but Legard is still getting used to commentating again. Also I've heard bad things about Star Sports coverage in Asia.

[Barbazza]

When ITV got Anthony Davidson to do the commentary on a race a few years back (was it Hungary the year Button won?) I thought 'oh, here we go' cos at the time it was like the whole show was sponsored by Honda (hey, remember when they were quite good?!) but I was amazed at how utterly natural, unbiased and informative he was. I thought they might use him again but this being ITV he was never heard of after that.

So I'm not surprised that he's doing well on the radio. With any luck they might draft him onto the TV coverage to replace DC who is wooden, seems lost half the time and is (not surprisingly) drooling over McLaren every race. Unlike some people I don't mind EJ, at least he's got a personality. I might give the Five Live commentaty a go next time then.

[Pedro_Diniz]

I like Eddie on the BBC coverage. He knows eactly what he's talking about - he' seen the highs and lows of Formula 1 - and isn't afraid to be a little bit biting in what he says

[dresda]

Here in Canada we had the choice of the ITV coverage available on TSN, or the SpeedTV crew from the US. James Allen gave the audience a much more balanced view than the SpeedTV commentators (Varsha, Hobbs, Matchett) who are probably the founding members of the Lewis Hamilton fan club.

Fortunately this year we are getting more coverage from the BBC on TSN for both qualifying and the race, so life is good. Brundle is an excellent commentator - frankly much better than Hunt ever was, he's not nearly so biased.

[Ross Prawn]

I think Hunt being biased was the whole point. He was heroically politically incorrect at all times.

[dresda]

I think Hunt being biased was the whole point. He was heroically politically incorrect at all times.

I didn't like the way he'd be scathingly critical of some poor chap who'd gone off, then later we'd find out that the driver had suffered gearbox failure or some other mechanical woe. I prefer a more objective view during the broadcast.

[Ross Prawn]

For sure Brundle is better informed, less biased, and much better at telling us what is going on. Hunt shot his mouth off, and was unjustifiably rude about many drivers. Quite entertaining though.

[Debaser]

But when you heard Hunt criticise the likes of De Cesaris and Arnoux it was fun...and usually deserved. The fact that he and Murray were so different made for great commentary, even if he wasn't a great commentator himself.

[Captain Hammer]

Here in Canada we had the choice of the ITV coverage available on TSN, or the SpeedTV crew from the US. James Allen gave the audience a much more balanced view than the SpeedTV commentators (Varsha, Hobbs, Matchett) who are probably the founding members of the Lewis Hamilton fan club.

I remember seeing part of a race called by American commentators where they didn't actually comment on the race. Instead, they spent most of their time mentioning their sponsors and shouting out to affiliated scouting troops and social clubs in the Pensylvania and Ohio region ...

[melbournian]

The thing that really shat me with the australian commentators (and hi everyone by the way) is the way they kept referring to Mark Webber as 'Australia's Mark Webber'. Every single bloody time. Like we didn't know.

[Nuppiz]

The thing that really shat me with the australian commentators (and hi everyone by the way) is the way they kept referring to Mark Webber as 'Australia's Mark Webber'. Every single bloody time. Like we didn't know.

Oh well, we got a bit of that same problem here. Quite often the commentators (usually Oskari Saari, the main commentator) says "Suomen Kimi Räikkönen" or "Suomen Heikki Kovalainen" (literally translated as "Finland's Kimi Räikkönen" and "Finland's Heikki Kovalainen"). Luckily not all the time, but I still do not understand why they should say it, I think everyone knows which drivers are from their country!

[dresda]

But when you heard Hunt criticise the likes of De Cesaris and Arnoux it was fun...and usually deserved. The fact that he and Murray were so different made for great commentary, even if he wasn't a great commentator himself.

I recall that Hunt once praised De Cesaris as being 'one of the few drivers in the field who knows how to pass'. High praise indeed!

[nit]

Why does this tosser still have a job, I'll never know...

cause if you read his blog you'll find out he actually a damn good journalist

[thehemogoblin]

But when you heard Hunt criticise the likes of De Cesaris and Arnoux it was fun...and usually deserved. The fact that he and Murray were so different made for great commentary, even if he wasn't a great commentator himself.

I recall that Hunt once praised De Cesaris as being 'one of the few drivers in the field who knows how to pass'. High praise indeed!

De Cesaris saw it enough in his life that he damn well have better learned something by the end of it all.

[Paul Hayes]

Jeez, I never realised the hatred for James Allen transended every continent

Does anyone know if he is actually working now, other than his own website ? http://www.jamesallenonf1.com/

He's the F1 correspondent for the Financial Times, I believe - certainly that's who his accreditation seems to be from whenever you see one of his questions quoted in the press conference transcripts.

I was never a fan of his commentary either ("GET IN THERE!!!" and all that. Eurgh!), but his blog is quite informative. As for Jonathan Legard... I think he'll settle in after another race or two. Certainly he made some quite bumbling mistakes in Malaysia, but I'm prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt. He did do this for, what, seven years for 5 Live, so he does know his F1.

[Captain Hammer]

After Bahrain, they've added another three errors to their list of gaffes: firstly, describing Button's brakthrough victory as being Hungary 2007. An honest slip of the tongue, perhaps, but anyone who's willing to stay up past midnight to watch the race knows that the 2007 car was junk to begin with and that Button couldn't have won even if God ha truck down everyone else on the circuit. Second, their criticism of Sutil and unspoken criticsm of the stewards. Sutil may have deserved his penalty for impeding Webber, but the Australian commentators suggested that his penalty was not enough and, by proxy, that Webber had been robbed of a sure victory. They never said it, but it was obvious they felt Webber should have been allowed into Q2. Thirdly, more Webber-philia at the end of the race, describing him as just missing out on the top ten, as if the top ten is something to be lauded. He was still two places off scraping a single point, guys! And because there are only twenty cars this season, he only would have been in the top 50% if he'd managed to catch Piquet, which isn't much to brag about.

God, I hate them. Hopefully m area will get One HD soon ...

[Bort]

God, I hate them. Hopefully m area will get One HD soon ...

You still get those guys on ONE HD.
In fact, you get MORE of them, because there is a 50 minute pre-race show on just prior to the race.

[Captain Hammer]

I was under the impression that the One HD broadcast was the BBC telecast, uninterrupted. If they're at the beginning for an hour or so, fine. I can skip it. Ten kept cutting to a commercial break during the pitstops, which also happened to be where the most reshuffling of the order took place.

Idiots.

[Bort]

I was under the impression that the One HD broadcast was the BBC telecast, uninterrupted. If they're at the beginning for an hour or so, fine. I can skip it. Ten kept cutting to a commercial break during the pitstops, which also happened to be where the most reshuffling of the order took place.

Idiots.

Nope. The ONE Telecast is the exact same telecast shown on Ten.
The Aussie guys break in for a "The action is REALLY HOTTING UP NOW so we are going to a commercial break.", then we come back and get the updates of what we missed during the break.

[Captain Hammer]

Crap.

[eytl]

I've refrained from commenting on this thread to date, but I feel like sharing some thoughts ...

In terms of when Ten/One, and before them Nine, took ad breaks, length of ad breaks etc., not much has changed. OK we would all like commercial-free F1 here in Oz but it's just not going to happen. I can live with that - and the fact that ad breaks can sometimes be hideously mistimed.

But good presenters make a world of difference.

Darrell Eastlake and Alan Jones were universally panned by the end of their time because they were just too blokey and, frankly, uninformed. You knew that Nine couldn't care less about F1 when Eddie "who wants to be a million-yyyyeeeeeeeaaaaiiiiirrrrr" McGuire hosted the Aussie GP coverage.

I'll admit to being an unashamed Neil Crompton fan. I've met the man twice in my life - once in Melbourne in 2002 when I asked him if and when Ten would take over the F1 coverage. He shook his head and said to me, "Don't know, mate." The answer was, of course, one year afterwards. I do miss his combination with Bill Woods - Woods the consummate presenting professional, Crompton one of the best motorsport commentators around - a perfect mixture of information, seriousness, empathy, plus occasional biting sarcasm, wit, and common-man vernacular. I would love to see a Brundle-Crompton combination calling F1. I was most disappointed when Neil - not surprisingly - followed the V8s to Seven. That's when I met him the second time, at the '07 V8 Supercar launch at Martin Place, and I told him he would be missed on the F1 coverage.

These days I can't stand Greg Rust and Cameron McConville. McConville reminds me of the proverbial rabbit staring at oncoming headlights. And Rust is the master of trying to drum up excitement and enthusiasm over things that aren't actually all that interesting. And, as my co-conspirator Kuwashima says, how we wish he could be attached to some kind of machine that inflicts pain every time he says "Australia's Mark Webber".

At least Ten/One seems to care about F1, I'll give them that much. Otherwise I think the problem is they haven't got the balance right and they can't figure out who their target audience is. For example, when they cover news items, it's mainly a rehash of everything which is available on autosport.com or other websites. If they're targeting die-hard fans, all of them have been keeping up with the news daily, so why bother with all that? The hour-long lead-up show is a waste of time. If they're targeting casual fans, then they don't care about all the ins and outs of the sport, so keep them entertained with something a bit more creative.

No surprise that Kuwashima and I are also Roy & HG addicts.That's one aspect that made their Olympic coverage fantastic. They didn't know about Greco-Roman wrestling, they were playing to casual observers who didn't know anything about it either, so they talked about it in a way that wasn't trying to be serious but actually tried to entertain.

[Captain Hammer]

Bumping an old thread, but I have to say that The Idiots weren't their usual moronic selves at Suzuka. They weren't fantastic, but they're weren't scraped from the bottom of their usual barrel, either. I'm guessing it's because Greg "Australia's Mark Webber!" Rust was off sick and they had McConville and Beattie doing their usual thing. McConville was still a tool and out of his depth - he stammered a little an dlacked confidence whenever he had to intercept the broadcast and take up to an ad break - but he did what Jonathan Legard should do with Brundle and let Beattie do the talking because Beattie has raced at Suzuka.

On that note, if only there was some way to merge Legard with Brundle. Brundle's got the expertise, but I think Legard has the better voice.

[Pacifics only fan]

Jeez, I never realised the hatred for James Allen transended every continent

Yep, I'm from South Africa, and we get the British commentary feed, so were weren't safe from his rampant knobbery either.

As much as people criticise Johnathan Legard, I'd rather listen to him that our own in-studio guys, our lead "pundit" is a radio DJ who refers to himself as an "F1 guru" yet has no motorsport experience (or at least none that is public knowledge), he's partered with a Formula VW engineer, and a local race driver ( who is by FAR the most knowledgeable). Yet the DJ cuts them off to talk rubbish, like how F1 cars don't use traction control in the corners... (Back in the days when there was TC of course)

[Thunderer]

For sure Brundle is better informed, less biased, and much better at telling us what is going on. Hunt shot his mouth off, and was unjustifiably rude about many drivers. Quite entertaining though.

Not forgetting his repetitive, scathing, sly verbal attacks on Patrese.

However nobody is worse than James Allen. Lewis Hamilton this, Lewis Hamilton that....

[fjackdaw]

For sure Brundle is better informed, less biased, and much better at telling us what is going on. Hunt shot his mouth off, and was unjustifiably rude about many drivers. Quite entertaining though.

Not forgetting his repetitive, scathing, sly verbal attacks on Patrese.

However nobody is worse than James Allen. Lewis Hamilton this, Lewis Hamilton that....

I never found James Allen that bad... maybe in comparison to Steve Ryder, who came across like a creepy uncle with an unseemly bulge in his trousers, leering over his young nephew. And Mark Blundell what speaks poor English.

[DemocalypseNow]

For sure Brundle is better informed, less biased, and much better at telling us what is going on. Hunt shot his mouth off, and was unjustifiably rude about many drivers. Quite entertaining though.

Not forgetting his repetitive, scathing, sly verbal attacks on Patrese.

However nobody is worse than James Allen. Lewis Hamilton this, Lewis Hamilton that....

I never found James Allen that bad... maybe in comparison to Steve Ryder, who came across like a creepy uncle with an unseemly bulge in his trousers, leering over his young nephew. And Mark Blundell what speaks poor English.

For some strange reason I still miss Jim Rosenthal and Tony Jardine.

[Barbazza]

I was never that keen on Jim Rosenthal (especially when he constantly said 'Frnando Alonso'!) but I agree with you about Jardine. I have absolutely no idea why they got rid of him and replaced him with Mark Blundell and his amazing limited vocabulary and unique use of grammar.

[Valrys]

For some strange reason I still miss Jim Rosenthal and Tony Jardine.

You're not the only one, I still reckon they were the were, if not the best, the most non-irritating. Of course, rose tinted spectales and all that