Predicament Predictions - 2014 Bahrain Grand Prix

[TomWazzleshaw]

As usual, the deadline is the conclusion of FP3.

Wizzie's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Bo77as
6. Button
7. Magnussen
8. Massa
9. Hulkenberg
10. Vergne

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Gutierrez/Sutil
ROTR: Sauber (Double Q1 elimination before the two stooges take each other out at the start)
IIDOTR: Grosjean (Spends most of the race running in the points before a late engine failure)
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Jocke1]

2014 Belgian Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Raikkonen
2. Vergne
3. Massa
4. Ericsson
5. Chilton
6. Bottas
7. DNF
8. DNF
9. DNF
10. DNF
11-22. DNF

Pole: Raikkonen
Fastest Lap: Raikkonen
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Alonso
IIDOTR: Vergne
DBTMOTR: Alonso
MLP: Ericsson
DNQ: Button

[Klon]

Klon's Predictions
2014 It's Getting Off In Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Vettel
3. Hamilton
4. Magnussen
5. Ricciardo
6. Alonso
7. Räikkönen
8. Hülkenberg
9. Kwyat
10. Massa

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Gutierrez/Sutil
ROTR: Renault Engines (fuel trouble cost Red Bull a 1-2)
IIDOTR: Kwyat (runs in the top 6 until fuel trouble)
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[AxelP800]

2014 I Hope Riot Have Finished Grand Prix of Desert Storm
1. Hulkenberg
2. Vergne
3. Kobayashi
4. Kyvat
5. Sutil
6. Chilton
7. Bianchi
8. Ericsson
9. Maldonado
10. Grosjean

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Magnussen
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Broke downs on top teams
IIDOTR: Kobayashi
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez
MLP: Ericsson
DNQ: Raikkonen

Sometimes thinking out from the box may reward best

[dinizintheoven]

Got to get my act together here after a slightly dodgy round of Malaysian predictions. And I will do so... with some even dodgier predictions. These were inspired by a piece of medieval Latin I've been trying to translate, where letters frequently go missing at the most inconvenient of times. Also, the rain in Bahrain falls mainly somewhere else... which means Williams should be more competitive, and the searing heat should wreak havoc with the cooling on these new turbo engines.

2014 "War. Hrrrrrgh! What is it good for? Bolt Thrower lyrics, actually..." Grand Prix

1. Hamilton[ian operator]
2. Rosberg[tatt - ett eeventyr i 5 kapitaler]
3. Alonso [far, so good... so what!]
4. Massa[ryk circuit in Brno]
5. Bottas[sium is best export of Kazakhstan]
6. Hülkenberg[AGAAAAAAAAAAAST!]
7. Räikkönnen [wir ein Eis essen und Kola trinken?]
8. Button [was made of the wrong allotrope of tin, wasn't it, Napoleon?]
9. Sutil [me about your weekend in Bognor Regis]
10. Chilton [hills in Buckinghamshire, made of chalk]

Pole: Hamilton (can't see it being anyone else)
Fastest Lap: Hamilton (ditto)
First Retirement: Ericsson (on lap 1, starting a chain of calamity for the team in green)
ROTR: Renault, whose engine wilts in the heat and all eight cars retire. Toro Rosso could have scored good points, Red Bull lose ground on their rivals, Ricciardo racks up another penalty, and Caterham look on in horror as Talent trundles over the line in tenth... as for Toleman, they were never going to finish anyway...
IIDOTR: Chilton - a lap behind Sutil, who's a lap behind Button, but that point!
DBTMOTR: Magnussen! McLaren's golden boy makes an unforced error on a sandy track in the early stages and bins it into a wall...
MLP: Nobody! There are only ten finishers, and all the rookies retire - but Kvyat retires last, so if that means he can get the award, so be it.
DNQ: Still nobody. Maybe if HRT were still competing...?

[Alextrax52]

2014 Sakhir GP

1 Hamilton
2 Rosberg
3 Alonso
4 Vettel
5 Bottas
6 Hulkenberg
7 Button
8 Raikkonen
9 Massa
10 Grosjean

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Ericsson
ROTR: Perez (Battles with the lamentable Saubers)
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Number of points Luca Badoer has (0)

[UncreativeUsername37]

Xirp Dnarg Niarhab 2014

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Ricciardo
5. Alonso
6. Hulkenberg
7. Bottas
8. Massa
9. Button
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Not even Lotus

[tommykl]

2014 OMFG NAIT RAYS BUDDAY Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Rosberg
4. Hülkenberg
5. Ricciardo
6. Bottas
7. Magnussen
8. Massa
9. Button
10. Kvyat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Vergne
ROTR: Gutiérrez
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg
DBTMOTR: Pérez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Absolutely sod all

[Jocke1]

ett eeventyr i 5 kapitaler

3. Alonso [far, so good... so what!]

\m/

[DOSBoot]

DOSBoot's Perdictions:

2014 Durka Durka Durka Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Vettel
4. Riccardo
5. Hulkenburg
6. Bottas
7. Magnussen
8. Raikkonen
9. Alonso
10. Massa

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Perez
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Hulkenburg
DBTMOTR: Alonso
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[go_Rubens]

go_Rubens's Predictions

2014 Desert Storm GP

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Bottas
5. Hülkenberg
6. Massa
7. Alonso
8. Räikkönen
9. Pérez
10. Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: McLaren
IIDOTR: Vettel
DBTMOTR: Pérez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[rachel1990]

2014 Dry Dry Dry GP

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Riccardo
4. Bottas
5. Massa
6. Alonso
7. Hulkenberg
8. Button
9. Pérez
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Vettel
IIDOTR: Riccardo
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Dj_bereta]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Ricciardo
5. Magnussen
6. Hulkenberg
7. Massa
8. Bottas
9. Perez
10. Vergne

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Sutil
ROTR: Ferrari
IIDOTR: Kobayashi
DBTMOTR: Ericsson
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[AustralianStig]

Am I too late to join for this season?

1. Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Vettel
4. Bottas
5. Massa
6. Perez
7. Magnussen
8. Alonso
9. Button
10. Raikkonen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Hamilton
ROTR: Hulkenberg (he's due some bad luck)
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Hulkenberg
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Shizuka]

2014 "Kimi gets no champagne" GP
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Räikkönen
4. Vettel
5. Alonso
6. Hülkenberg
7. Ricciardo
8. Bottas
9. Massa
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Button
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Hülkenberg - without a botched stop, he could have claimed 4th place
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Nah...

[RonDenisDeletraz]

1. Rosberg
2. Alonso
3. Hamilton
4. Magnussen
5. Ricciardo
6. Button
7. #BO77AS
8. Hulkenberg
9. GenEric Vernge
10. Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Kvyat
ROTR: Vettel (admittedly this is mostly hope)
IIDOTR: Ferrari
DBTMOTR: Kvyat
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[watka]

2014 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand Grand Prix

1. Lewis "Waa"-milton
2. Nico "Britney" Rosberg
3. Super Seb Vettel
4. Valtteri "Faster Than You" Bottas
5. Kimi "Magnum and Coke" Raikkonen
6. Daniel "Ricky!" Ricciardo
7. "The Isle of Fernando!" Alonso
8. Kevin "Magnum PI"-sen
9. "The 2nd fastest Nico in the West" Hulkenberg
10. Rrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmnnn Grrrrrrrjjjjjjjnnnnn

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Vettel
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Stewards
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Massa
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Zip

[Aerospeed]

2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Bottas
3. Alonso
4. Raikkonen
5. Perez
6. Hulkenberg
7. Massa
8. Magnussen
9. Vergne
10. Vettel

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Bottas
First DNF: Kobayashi
ROTR: Hamilton
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Maldonado (allowed to race)

[tristan1117]

tristan1117's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Massa
6. Button
7. Ricciardo
8. Magnussen
9. Raikkonen
10. Kyvat

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Chilton!!!
ROTR: Kobayashi
IIDOTR: Massa
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Londoner]

East Londoner's Predictions
2014 Unable to watch this race or qualifying live, and I don't think anyone else should be allowed to enjoy the weekend because of it Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bo77as
4. Hulkenberg
5. Alonso
6. Button
7. Magnussen
8. Perez
9. Raikkonen
10. Kvyat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Grosjean (becomes the first victim of multiple Renault engine failures during the race)
ROTR: Sutil/Sauber (their gamble of removing the water bottle backfires with a massive shunt caused by dehydration )
IIDOTR: Bottas (unrejectifies himself in style, and is the only chap to be able to live with the Mercs all weekend)
DBTMOTR: Massa (yes, Valtteri is faster than you. Quoth the raven: deal with it. )
MLP: K-Mag (by default I guess)
DNQ: Vergne (multitude of problems leaves him unable to set a lap, allowed to start)

[Enforcer]

Enforcer's Predictions
Double Points please.

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Alonso
5. Hulkenburg
6. Raikkonen
7. Bottas
8. Magnussen
9. Button
10. Kyvat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: People complaining about Red Bull somehow screwing Ricciardo, which is no doubt deliberate because teams regularly enjoy seeing their drivers fail to score.
IIDOTR: Hullkenberg
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[GwilymJJames]

Gwilym's Predictions
2014 We've Been Doing This For A Decade And Haven't Had One Decent Race - Let's Go For The Gimmick Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Vettel
3. Ricciardo
4. Raikkonen
5. Button
6. Alonso
7. Magnussen
8. Hulkenberg
9. Massa
10. Bottas

P. Hamilton
FL. Rosberg
1st Ret. Kobayashi
ROTR. Gutierrez
IIDOTR. Ricciardo
DBTMOTR. Hamilton
MLP. Magnussen
DNQ: Nil.

[KalleVRTN]

KalleVRTN's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Button
4. Alonso
5. Räikkönen
6. Vettel
7. Hulkenberg
8. Magnussen
9. Massa
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Bianchi
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Button
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Meatwad]

2014 Twilight Time Grand Prix

Meatwad's predictions
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Alonso
5. Räikkönen
6. Hülkenberg
7. Button
8. Magnussen
9. Ricciardo
10. Vergne

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Pérez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[dr-baker]

The Bored Bard of Bahrain Grand Prize

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Massa
5. Magnussen
6. Vettel
7. Button
8. Ricciardo
9. Alonso
10. Raikkonen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Vettel
First retirement: None
ROTR: the retirement rate
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: either Grosjean or Maldonado

[MinardiFan95]

MinardiFan's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Vettel
3. Hamilton
4. Alonso
5. Ricciardo
6. Hulkenberg
7. Button
8. Magnussen
9. Bottas
10. Kyvat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Vettel
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Vergne
IIDOTR: Kyvat
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[AustralianStig]

Pole: Ricciardo

I just realised how rejectful this prediction is...

Does pole prediction count post-penalty or pre-penalty? If it's post-penalty can I please change this nomination to Hamilton?

Thanks.

[TomWazzleshaw]

Pole: Ricciardo

I just realised how rejectful this prediction is...

Does pole prediction count post-penalty or pre-penalty? If it's post-penalty can I please change this nomination to Hamilton?

Thanks.

Oh, you're free to make as many changes as you wish, as long as they're done before the end of FP3.

[Ducktanian]

Dartanian's Predictions
2014 Random Desert Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Alonso
4. Rosberg
5. Ricciardo
6. Hulkenberg
7. Magnussen
8. Raikkonen
9. Bottas
10. Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Bahrain
IIDOTR: Alonso
DBTMOTR: Massa
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Bleu]

Bleu's predictions
2014 Dark Desert Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Bottas
6. Massa
7. Räikkönen
8. Magnussen
9. Kvyat
10. Hülkenberg
Pole Hamilton
FL Bottas
1st Ret: Ricciardo
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Alonso (finishes within few seconds of Hamilton)
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[RAK]

RAK's Predictions:
2014 Deserted Desert Grand Prix

1) Hamilton
2) Rosberg
3) Alonso
4) Hulkenberg
5) Massa
6) Button
7) Magnussen
8) Bottas
9) Raikkonen
10) Vettel

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Maldonado - another Lotus failure
ROTR: Lotus - no closer to the points than they have been in the last two races
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[good_Ralf]

good_Ralf's predictions
2014 Desert Storm Grand Prix

1) Hamilton
2) Rosberg
3) Alonso
4) Ricciardo
5) Massa
6) Bottas
7) Hulkenberg
8) Raikkonen
9) Perez
10) Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Vettel - motor
ROTR: McLaren
IIDOTR: Sutil (finishes without the water bottle)
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: 0

[HawkAussie]

HawkAussie Predictions
2014 Why do need two night races GP
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Alonso
5. Hulkenberg
6. Magnussen
7. Raikkonen
8. Massa
9. Bottas
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Ericsson/Kobayashi
ROTR: Turbo Engines
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: How many T20 World Cups that the Australian male team has won (0)

[Rocks with Salt]

Rocks with Salt's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Vettel
4. Magnussen
5. Hulkenberg
6. Button
7. Alonso
8. Ricciardo
9. Raikkonen
10. Bottas

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Vettel
First Retirement: Sutil
ROTR: The Stewards
IIDOTR: Magnussen
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

Random Number Generator's Predictions
2014 Bahrain Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Magnussen
3. Bianchi
4. Ricciardo
5. Vettel
6. Alonso
7. Kvyat
8. Button
9. Perez
10. Hamilton

Pole: Ericsson
Fastest Lap: Button
First Retirement: Ericsson
ROTR: Gutierrez
IIDOTR: Raikkonen
DBTMOTR: Ericsson
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[kevinbotz]

2014 Bahrain Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Vettel
4. Alonso
5. Hulkenberg
6. Raikkonen
7. Button
8. Bottas
9. Massa
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Ricciardo
ROTR: Gutierrez
IIDOTR: Hulkenberg
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[the Masked Lapwing]

TMLW's predictions
2014 Bahrainless GP

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Ricciardo
4. Alonso
5. Vettel
6. Button
7. Hulkenberg
8. Raikkonen
9. Kvyat
10. Grosjean

Pole: Hamilton
FLAP: Hamilton
First DNF: Magnussen
ROTR: Magnussen
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: None

[mario]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Ricciardo
6. Hulkenberg
7. Raikkonen
8. Magnussen
9. Bottas
10. Massa

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Perez (it looks like Force India's car is competitive but also a little fragile)
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Maldonado (he might actually have a chance of completing a race this time...)
DBTMOTR: Gutierrez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Shizuka]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Ricciardo
6. Hulkenberg
7. Raikkonen
8. Hulkenberg
9. Bottas
10. Massa

You should fix that to avoid getting a penalty for late editing

[More_Blue_Flags]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Massa
6. Button
7. Ricciardo
8. Hulkenberg
9. Bottas
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement:
ROTR: Sauber
IIDOTR: Massa
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen - at some point over the weekend he will just lose interest.
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[mario]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Vettel
5. Ricciardo
6. Hulkenberg
7. Raikkonen
8. Hulkenberg
9. Bottas
10. Massa

You should fix that to avoid getting a penalty for late editing

Thanks for pointing that out - I changed my mind partway through that post but forgot to erase the earlier position that I'd put Hulkenberg in.